[User] I know you have ap lit in, like, three minutes, but can you just real quick just just tell me um oh, gosh, world war ii, world war ii. Ah tell me something about the aftermath of world war ii.

[Assistant] Yeah, okay, so the aftermath and the the reconstruction of world war ii, they didn't want it to be just like after the aftermath of world war I, where germany had all of these sanctions pressed against them and it caused the rise of somebody like hitler. So they established this thing called the united nations, basically. And what it is, it's like it's like a pulpit for other countries to have diplomatic issues and and beat it out of each other on a diplomatic stage instead of in a, like, physical war stage, right, so the united nations was founded right after the end of world war ii to prevent another world war.


[User] Yeah cause my my grandfather was in the philippines, but he's never like said very much about it.

[Assistant] Yeah, that's that's a good point. I'd be interested to hear what he has to say. The other thing they're going to ask about um they're going to ask how many people died in the holocaust six six million jewish people died in the holocaust. They're going to ask about,


[User] What are you doing here?

[Assistant] You know, traveling, too.


[User] Ah that's that's so crazy we were both there at the same time

[Assistant] Where are you coming from? Are you just arriving? Leaving?


[User] I yeah I mean, i'll tell you all about it later. But um I was in scotland.

[Assistant] Scotland, whoa, wait, edinburgh, where did you go in scotland, yeah,


[User] Yeah yeah, I went to the fringe festival.

[Assistant] Really oh, wow.


[User] Did, yeah. It was, you know, a bucket list thing. I've always wanted to go there.

[Assistant] Did you see any cool stuff yeah, i'm so jealous.


[User] Like got a whole suitcase full of them under underneath. I'll ah i'll show it to you when we're home.

[Assistant] Ah sweet, I would love to see.


[User] How how do you get to broadway from here,

[Assistant] Broadway is not too far. You're gonna just keep going up this street. You're gonna go up the street until you see the guy in the spongebob costume and then you're gonna turn right and when you turn right, you're gonna see a whole fleet of power rangers. You're gonna just keep walking past them they're gonna be once you get to first street, you're gonna know that at some point, broadway's gonna cross there. You follow,


[User] Ah the the spongebob mascot, you turn right,

[Assistant] Yeah, if you look way ahead, you can see him up there, the spongebob mascot, that guy in the yellow he's, he's yeah, yeah, yeah, he's with yeah, yeah, he's with the the elmo.


[User] Yeah yeah.

[Assistant] He if you you just walk straight towards him, yeah, you see him, keep going, keep going, keep going. Then you're going to turn right, yeah, right at the spongebob.


[User] And then power rangers, like like a whole team of of power rangers,

[Assistant] Yeah, they're taking photos with those tourists. You're just going to ignore them. They're going to try to get you to take your photo. Don't listen to them. Just keep walking. They're going to maybe put stuff in your hands. You don't want it. You don't want to deal with it keep going. See you see the sign for first street. You know that broadway is nearby.


[User] Elmo's with spongebob.

[Assistant] Your eyes peeled, you'll see him down right at the spongebob straight past the power rangers. You're going to go up first street. The cross street is broadway.


[User] Your eyes peeled, you'll see him down right at the spongebob straight past the power rangers. You're going to go up first street. The cross street is broadway.

[Assistant] Ah great. Let let me review. Let me just make sure I got this right. I hope i'm not hope i'm not taking too much of your time here awesome ok. So so I I go to the the the big yellow blob the the spongebob guy I I go right and then I I keep walking until I I see the power rangers and I ignore them because they they they charge like way too much for for pictures.


[User] Ah great. Let let me review. Let me just make sure I got this right. I hope i'm not hope i'm not taking too much of your time here awesome ok. So so I I go to the the the big yellow blob the the spongebob guy I I go right and then I I keep walking until I I see the power rangers and I ignore them because they they they charge like way too much for for pictures.

[Assistant] It's outrageous.


[User] Ah bet. And and then but I I honestly I kind of want to take one with a purple ranger. I yeah might, you know, give into temptation on that. But that's beside the point.

[Assistant] It's your money, man. You choose. You choose what you spend your money on. I'm not gonna i'm not gonna stop you.


[User] And then the the the first street after first street,

[Assistant] The first street after first it's easy cause it's both first.


[User] Just right straight first first.

[Assistant] But but I you know, I might be discombobulated after you know doing a picture with the purple power ranger, because that's kind yeah it's kind of like a childhood thing for me. I might get all like, you know, my head might get all dizzy.


[User] Um I forget what you told me.

[Assistant] Ah third, the purple power ranger will give you additional directions. So they only will if you pay for a picture, though. So that's your money, man. You gotta you gotta choose what you spend your money on.


[User] They're not going to think that i'm, like, hitting on them or or anything,

[Assistant] Might a little bit, but you just tell them that you're not.


[User] Why would I tell them i'm not, that would be weird.

[Assistant] It might be weird, but if they ask, it'd be good to let them know that you're not.


[User] Would ask, why would they ask,

[Assistant] Well, if they thought you were hitting on em, I would probably ask. If I was, uh, if you ask where to go, they might think you're hitting on em.


[User] Well, if they thought you were hitting on em, I would probably ask. If I was, uh, if you ask where to go, they might think you're hitting on em.

[Assistant] I'll just walk right past the power rangers. This is getting too complicated.


[User] I'll just walk right past the power rangers. This is getting too complicated.

[Assistant] Yeah, i thought so.


[User] Yeah okay, that makes more sense now.

[Assistant] Yep. Makes sense. You got it. You see all the characters. You know where you're going.


[User] Yep. Makes sense. You got it. You see all the characters. You know where you're going.

[Assistant] You know, I think I can handle this, but maybe if you could walk with me, is that possible,


[User] You know, I think I can handle this, but maybe if you could walk with me, is that possible,

[Assistant] I'm late for work, man, good luck, I can't, I can't help you tourists,


[User] Whats on do you want to hear?

[Assistant] Um and i'm just waiting for them to do um ah satisfaction.


[User] Um and i'm just waiting for them to do um ah satisfaction.

[Assistant] Ah heck yeah, heck yeah. You can't always get what you want, that was an amazing cover. Any stones cover they're gonna do, I think they're gonna rock it.


[User] Oh, yeah oh, yeah.

[Assistant] Guitar player is amazing. His solos are so cool.


[User] Ah ah the the drummer's on point.

[Assistant] I know, his kit, he doesn't even have a shield, he's just going for it. I love it. And and man, the bassist, he can rock, too. He's the he's the weak link, I will say. He's been a little rhythmically, he's been tough.


[User] I'm i'm waiting for i'm waiting to hear him do a solo he hasn't done like you know

[Assistant] Ready for a bass solo, yeah,


[User] Ready for a bass solo, yeah,

[Assistant] Yeah let's let's start it


[User] Yeah let's let's start it

[Assistant] Bassists play a solo.


[User] Bassists play a solo.

[Assistant] Like like let's get everyone chanting. Let's try to start a chant here. Bass, solo, bass,


[User] Like like let's get everyone chanting. Let's try to start a chant here. Bass, solo, bass,

[Assistant] SOLO!BASS. SOLO.


[User] SOLO!BASS. SOLO.

[Assistant] So like bass. We got to be in sync.


[User] So like bass. We got to be in sync.

[Assistant] I think it's I think we gotta be more in unison.


[User] I think it's I think we gotta be more in unison.

[Assistant] Okay one, two, three and base.


[User] Okay one, two, three and base.

[Assistant] Bass solo,


[User] Bass solo,

[Assistant] Solo, bass, solo, bass, solo. Oh, it's not working.


[User] Solo, bass, solo, bass, solo. Oh, it's not working.

[Assistant] Don't think they're catching it. I don't it's all good, guys.


[User] Don't think they're catching it. I don't it's all good, guys.

[Assistant] Ah we're we're good. We're good.


[User] Ah we're we're good. We're good.

[Assistant] What's the last concert you saw,


[User] Last last like legit concert.

[Assistant] Yeah, last non-cover band concert.


[User] Yeah, last non-cover band concert.

[Assistant] I saw taylor swift at the stadium.


[User] I saw taylor swift at the stadium.

[Assistant] I love taylor, how was she live,


[User] Ah she was the best.

[Assistant] Did she do her old album stuff or her new stuff,


[User] Ah she mostly focused on the new stuff, but toward the very end she did some of her classics.

[Assistant] Oh, what's your favorite,


[User] My favorite is is um ah what's it called,

[Assistant] Ah tear drops on my guitar,


[User] Ah tear drops on my guitar,

[Assistant] Yes yes yes that one.


[User] Yes yes yes that one.

[Assistant] Um man. Yup, she's so good. I wonder if they'll do any taylor covers.


[User] She can dance,

[Assistant] She can. I wanna see these guys dance. Man. More dancing. Maybe we can start that chant.


[User] She can. I wanna see these guys dance. Man. More dancing. Maybe we can start that chant.

[Assistant] More dancing!Bass solo. More.


[User] More dancing!Bass solo. More.

[Assistant] More dancing, bass,


[User] More dancing, bass,

[Assistant] Dancing. So yeah


[User] Dancing. So yeah

[Assistant] Got to be more in unison still. We got to work on it.


[User] Ah seven thirty.

[Assistant] Ah and thirty. Seven thirty. We got a seven thirty. Ah and sold to the man in the back for seven thirty.


[User] Ah and thirty. Seven thirty. We got a seven thirty. Ah and sold to the man in the back for seven thirty.

[Assistant] Yeah,


[User] Yeah,

[Assistant] Amazing. Any questions about this item in particular, sir, that you've just purchased,


[User] I'm i'm good.

[Assistant] Good. You want it. Perfect. All right. Next in the queue we've got a bunch of kitten toys, primarily it's it's yarn made from wool ah the wool of sheep in peru. So it's it's very expensive wool. That's why we're starting the bidding at one hundred dollars now one hundred dollars for this kitten yarn where can I see anybody want to start the bidding at one hundred dollars,


[User] But that that jar of catnip,

[Assistant] A jar of catnip. Great. We're starting the bidding at ten dollars ten to the man in the front ten dollars. I've got ten dollars forty dollars to my friend in the back. Forty dollars going once going twice. Sold to the man in the back


[User] And next up we have a vintage cannondale, a nineteen ninety eight cannondale in mint condition. We're gonna start the bidding at four thousand three hundred dollars. Do I hear four thousand three hundred, four thousand three hundred, any takers,

[Assistant] Four three hundred, forty three hundred here,


[User] Four three hundred, forty three hundred here,

[Assistant] Four hundred and three hundred and do I hear four hundred and three hundred ten, four hundred and three hundred and oh, we got four hundred and three ninety.


[User] Four hundred and three hundred and do I hear four hundred and three hundred ten, four hundred and three hundred and oh, we got four hundred and three ninety.

[Assistant] Four forty.


[User] Four forty.

[Assistant] Forty three ninety going once. Four forty. Four forty. Is anyone on one top that, we got four forty going once. Four forty going twice. Sold to the lady in the back. Congratulations on your brand new nineteen ninety eight mint condition cannondale. Hope you enjoy.


[User] Alright and next up we have a classic a classic schwinn beach cruiser.

[Assistant] I want that one, too,


[User] We're going to start the bidding for our ah schwinn beach cruiser at four hundred and ninety four dollars four hundred and ninety four four ninety five four ninety five. Can anyone top four ninety five, do we hear a five hundred and and um ah raise it up to an even five hundred on this beautiful schwinn beach cruiser, five hundred do we got a five hundred here,

[Assistant] I'll go up to five hundred if it's for charity,


[User] I'll go up to five hundred if it's for charity,

[Assistant] Five hundred, shuan beach cruiser for charity to the lady in the back. Five hundred going once. Five hundred going twice sold to the lady in the back congratulations all right, next up next up, we have a helmet worn by lance armstrong in his third tour de france.


[User] Ah let me let me check and verify that. Ah yes, I believe it is lance armstrong helmet and we're going to start the bidding here at at fifteen hundred dollars fifteen hundred dollars for a legitimate lance armstrong autographed helmet fifteen hundred dollars fifteen hundred to the lady in the back and do I hear a fifteen hundred and fifty anyone want to raise it to fifteen fifty, do I hear fifteen fifty,

[Assistant] It's autographed.


[User] It's autographed.

[Assistant] Autographed, reminding you folks, this is an autographed lance armstrong legitimate helmet. And fifteen, fifty, does anyone want to anyone want to bid fifteen, fifty, come on, guys, come on, guys, lance armstrong, third tour de france you know, you don't,


[User] Autographed, reminding you folks, this is an autographed lance armstrong legitimate helmet. And fifteen, fifty, does anyone want to anyone want to bid fifteen, fifty, come on, guys, come on, guys, lance armstrong, third tour de france you know, you don't,

[Assistant] I'm getting a great deal,


[User] I'm getting a great deal,

[Assistant] It's it's a steal. It is literally a steal. Come on, fifteen fifty. That's all we're asking here. Fifteen fifty sold for fifteen hundred to the lady in the back.


[User] It's it's a steal. It is literally a steal. Come on, fifteen fifty. That's all we're asking here. Fifteen fifty sold for fifteen hundred to the lady in the back.

[Assistant] Yes that's me.


[User] Good afternoon, maam. Can i take your order?

[Assistant] I would love two pad thai's, one without onions,


[User] Ah one with extra peanuts,

[Assistant] Yes, and, uh, another, I'm gonna want a pad cu.


[User] No mushrooms in the green curry.

[Assistant] Yes, uh, we also want four Thai iced teas.


[User] Ah ice, thai iced tea large times four, got it,

[Assistant] Four large iced teas, thai iced teas, yeah. Ah we also need um two cokes.


[User] Okay, so we got four large thai iced teas and two medium cokes is that diet coke or regular,

[Assistant] And for dessert, we're gonna want ah three mango sticky rice meals. Yeah,


[User] Three mango sticky rice. Okay, do ah do you want those double orders or single orders,

[Assistant] Double orders on all three, please.


[User] Okay, three three double mango sticky rice got it,

[Assistant] And I think that's everything. Is that everything, guys, yeah, I think that's everything.


[User] Okay, let's review. So so we've got two two pad thai,

[Assistant] One with extra peanuts, one without onions.


[User] One with no onions, one with extra peanuts. Got that and so we got one one yellow curry, one green curry and one one panang curry. No, wait, that's someone else's order.

[Assistant] No, we got a patsy u and a tom kha


[User] Okay, ah that um that should take about twenty five minutes.

[Assistant] And great. And and what do I owe you,


[User] Um and we also got four large thai iced teas and two two medium cokes and three ah double orders of mango sticky rice.

[Assistant] Yes, whats the total on the order.


[User] And do you want any extra rice with that,

[Assistant] Yes please, all of the extras is great.


[User] Okay, will that be brown rice, jasmine rice,

[Assistant] Ah two brown, one jasmine, please.


[User] Yeah um it's it's a big order.

[Assistant] I got my pad.


[User] Um so I want two nacho supreme platters.

[Assistant] Two nachos supreme platters. Do you want the sour cream and guacamole on both of those?


[User] Two nachos supreme platters. Do you want the sour cream and guacamole on both of those?

[Assistant] Um just on one and and no no lettuce on one.


[User] Um just on one and and no no lettuce on one.

[Assistant] No lettuce on the one with the sour cream or the other one,


[User] On the the one the one without the sour cream actually, ah guac guac on both,

[Assistant] Okay guac on both


[User] I'd like i'd like ah ten tacos,

[Assistant] Ten tacos beef tacos.


[User] Ah soft shell yeah ah um ah carnitas and four four with carnitas and ah four carne asada

[Assistant] Our special today is four carne asada tacos with a side of rice and beans for $12.99. It's a better deal.


[User] Our special today is four carne asada tacos with a side of rice and beans for $12.99. It's a better deal.

[Assistant] Perfect, yeah, I actually, like, two of, two of those. Two of those, yeah.


[User] And and and two two tacos with just rice and beans.

[Assistant] Two tacos with just rice and beans.


[User] And um no no lettuce in in one of them.

[Assistant] No lettuce in that single taco? Okay. Great. Anything else I can get for you?


[User] Ah everything. Yeah, um half half the quesadilla, no lettuce,

[Assistant] Half no lettuce the lettuce kind of comes on the side so you can put it on it if you want okay


[User] Great, great, great. Um is is there a special that comes with beverages,

[Assistant] Yeah, we have our horchata special today. Um so if you buy four tacos, ah the the carnita special and you order a horchata, you get a second horchata free.


[User] Ah perfect. Um ok, so let's see I want like like five horchadas five

[Assistant] Five, okay, five horchata's, you want a sixth one for free,


[User] Ah yeah heck yes um and and two um what's what's it called that um in in the red tank there, what what are those called,

[Assistant] We have strawberry lemonade.


[User] Ah sure, yeah two of those.

[Assistant] Great. Is that was that everything,


[User] Great. Is that was that everything,

[Assistant] Yeah I might I might come back later, but yeah I think that's good for now.


[User] Yeah I might I might come back later, but yeah I think that's good for now.

[Assistant] Okay, great. The total on your order is going to be one oh seven oh eight.


[User] Oh, and um I aquafresca that's that's what I was thinking of. Um yeah, make make those ah two three aquafrescas.

[Assistant] Three aqua frescas, okay, we got that in the back, yeah. Three aqua frescas, no strawberry lemonades, you wanna get rid of those?


[User] No, no, just just aqua frescas.

[Assistant] So i'm striking the strawberry lemonades. That means your total's coming out to one hundred and nine dollars, thirty two.


[User] Hey, long time, no. See.

[Assistant] Yeah it's been a while.


[User] Yeah it's been a while.

[Assistant] Um my god, i've been seeing you in forever,


[User] Um my god, i've been seeing you in forever,

[Assistant] I know, it's been so long, hey man, how's it going,


[User] I know, it's been so long, hey man, how's it going,

[Assistant] Ah oh, ups and downs,


[User] Yup, yup, like it always is.

[Assistant] Oh, where you been this summer?


[User] Oh, where you been this summer?

[Assistant] I actually took a road trip out to joshua tree not that long ago.


[User] And the you can really see the stars at night there.

[Assistant] Man, it is beautiful. We we spent one night with sleeping bags out underneath the stars just looking at the milky way. It was beautiful and gorgeous, man. You need to go again. If you haven't been in a while, it's worth a trip.


[User] Um i'm jealous.

[Assistant] Yeah, it's so it's it's just miles and miles. You can see for ages. And it blows my mind that that's so close to l a. And and just so and I don't take more advantage of it, you know,


[User] So well, um I went I went so on a road trip through ah utah,

[Assistant] Really utah.


[User] Um I checked out a few places. Um ah I went I went to the badlands I went yeah I went to see all the you know the the petrified wood forest.

[Assistant] Whoa, I bet that was awesome.


[User] It's ah it's like a few square miles at least.

[Assistant] Ah dang, okay, so huge.


[User] Yeah yeah it's it's like it's like a fallen log but like it's like a crystal it's crazy.

[Assistant] Whoa, that sounds awesome.


[User] Whoa, that sounds awesome.

[Assistant] And I went to ah to bryce canyon ah bryce canyon


[User] And I went to ah to bryce canyon ah bryce canyon

[Assistant] Rice canyon,


[User] Um my god, there's they have amazing rock formations there.

[Assistant] Rock formations do you have any pictures, can I see,


[User] So it's all it's all up on facebook.

[Assistant] Amazing, i'll have to check it out.


[User] Amazing, i'll have to check it out.

[Assistant] Yeah I got videos,


[User] I camped. I brought a tent, yeah.

[Assistant] You camped, you brought a tent, outside your car, inside your car,


[User] I I did a little bit of backpacking.

[Assistant] Nice!Did you bring all your supplies? You like, by yourself? Nobody else?


[User] Ah basically, yeah.

[Assistant] You are ambitious. I'm impressed. That's awesome. Sounds like a blast.


[User] And then I went to ah I went to zion national park while I was there.

[Assistant] What's zion like, i've never been.


[User] Yeah some great, really great trails there.

[Assistant] How high, how far did you hike,


[User] How high, how far did you hike,

[Assistant] Um that was my last day. I I was kind of in a hurry. I just did like ah like a four-hour day hike.


[User] Um that was my last day. I I was kind of in a hurry. I just did like ah like a four-hour day hike.

[Assistant] Nice that is a long hike for me.


[User] Nice seeing you, man.

[Assistant] You too, hey, we we should ah we we should like get coffee sometime.


[User] You too, hey, we we should ah we we should like get coffee sometime.

[Assistant] Yeah, let's do it. Talk about more national parks. I want to hear more.


[User] Can you can you tell me what I need to do,

[Assistant] Yeah it's it's pretty simple. Um you want about about um ah four tablespoons of of that marinara sauce and just spread it evenly over the dough like like like that.


[User] Yeah it's it's pretty simple. Um you want about about um ah four tablespoons of of that marinara sauce and just spread it evenly over the dough like like like that.

[Assistant] How much, how much,


[User] Ah four four tablespoons.

[Assistant] Four tablespoons, okay awesome, i've done that, now what,


[User] Four tablespoons, okay awesome, i've done that, now what,

[Assistant] Ah ah you want to sprinkle ah two teaspoons of oregano like even, evenly.


[User] Oregano, yeah.

[Assistant] Oregano, where's the oregano,


[User] No, no, that's no, that's not meg. That one.

[Assistant] Oh, okay, awesome. So two two teaspoons of this, tablespoons.


[User] Oh, okay, awesome. So two two teaspoons of this, tablespoons.

[Assistant] Yeah but like you just kind of sprinkle it like see see in that picture, just sprinkle it like evenly distribute it. Like


[User] Yeah but like you just kind of sprinkle it like see see in that picture, just sprinkle it like evenly distribute it. Like

[Assistant] Okay yeah yeah yeah okay.


[User] For some flavor.

[Assistant] Nice, all right, that's done, what now,


[User] Ah there there is no such thing as too much with this crowd.

[Assistant] Okay that's good to know. How much do I I don't want to put it on the crust, though, do I,


[User] Ah like right like over the sauce just all like over the whole surface um I see you got that that is that bowl of shredded mozzarella there,

[Assistant] Yeah and I just sprinkle it


[User] Ah just make make sure, like, cover the whole it's a pizza, you know, cover the whole the whole surface of it.

[Assistant] Okay zella good


[User] It's almost, just like like a pinch more ah more, a little more mozzarella.

[Assistant] There we go little bit more all right, what what kind of toppings do you want to put on it,


[User] There we go little bit more all right, what what kind of toppings do you want to put on it,

[Assistant] Um so half of it half of it we're gonna put mushrooms on.


[User] Um so half of it half of it we're gonna put mushrooms on.

[Assistant] Half mushrooms, okay,


[User] Half mushrooms, okay,

[Assistant] Yeah well cut cut those mushrooms a little thinner. See see how they're see how see how they're doing it in that picture.


[User] Ah okay what's next,

[Assistant] Okay um on a quarter of it quarter of it


[User] Ah not no, not not over the mushrooms, though. Different you know, that that johnny gets his own corner.

[Assistant] Yeah, cause Jenny doesn't eat meat, but Johnny loves pepperoni. That's right!I remember.


[User] Um you're gonna put that on the other quarter,

[Assistant] Um other quarter, okay, not the quarters with the mushrooms or the pepperoni perfect.


[User] O k yeah.

[Assistant] Okay, now those black olives go on everything. All of it, yeaah.


[User] Okay, now those black olives go on everything. All of it, yeaah.

[Assistant] Okay okay so how much is do I want a whole handful or or or half,


[User] Okay okay so how much is do I want a whole handful or or or half,

[Assistant] Like like take one handful, just kind of like throw it up in the air, like sprinkle it over the whole thing.


[User] I I didn't mean that literally.

[Assistant] Oh, i'm sorry, got everywhere.


[User] Oh, i'm sorry, got everywhere.

[Assistant] It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's alright. I'll, I'll, the, the dog can clean that up.


[User] Yeah come on, sparky.

[Assistant] Ah good girl, good girl.


[User] Ah good girl, good girl.

[Assistant] Is it ready to go in the oven yet,


[User] Almost. Ah so but

[Assistant] Preheated it to three fifty.


[User] Preheated it to three fifty.

[Assistant] Perfect, perfect. Ah put a ah little bit of green pepper right right there over the mushrooms that's right there all right now let's go ahead we're gonna go ahead and ah carefully slide it in the oven on on the on the second rack.


[User] You got that side i've got this side

[Assistant] Yeah okay, one two sparky, get out of the way okay, one two three wait, don't don't let sparky lick it


[User] Yeah okay, one two sparky, get out of the way okay, one two three wait, don't don't let sparky lick it

[Assistant] Okay sparky, get back.


[User] So set the timer for twenty three minutes.

[Assistant] And three minutes, okay, is that the perfect time,


[User] And three minutes, okay, is that the perfect time,

[Assistant] Um sometimes sometimes it's like a little less, a little more, but i'd say like like around twenty one minutes, just kind of take a peek at it.


[User] Hey, you ready for some more.

[Assistant] Yeah let's make some s'mores. Let's do it, everybody.


[User] Awesome,

[Assistant] Waiting for this all day.


[User] Waiting for this all day.

[Assistant] Yeah, well, get the fire started, get it good and hot while I get all of the the graham crackers broken up, ok, ok but don't let don't let the chocolate bag blow away make sure make sure you put the log on top of the chocolate bag so that the the grocery sack doesn't we don't want to litter while we're out here, ok,


[User] Yep, chocolate is secured.

[Assistant] Okay, awesome. How's the fire coming,


[User] Okay, awesome. How's the fire coming,

[Assistant] It's ah it's almost there just ah just just gonna put a little more wood on it.


[User] It's ah it's almost there just ah just just gonna put a little more wood on it.

[Assistant] Do you see two sticks near by?


[User] Um let me let me look. Give me a sec.

[Assistant] I'm looking too. I only found one.


[User] Here's one. Here's one.

[Assistant] Okay, hey, we both found our own. That's great.


[User] Ah this one's perfect. It's got a little pointy end right there.

[Assistant] You're going to want to break off all the other little parts. Take off like all the little you see the it's got a little extra branch sticking off there. We want it to be just a straight stick, yeah okay, great. Ah here's a marshmallow how many do you want,


[User] Um like seven,

[Assistant] Like seven, okay, maybe start with like four. I feel like seven's ambitious on that little stick. But, ah


[User] Like seven, okay, maybe start with like four. I feel like seven's ambitious on that little stick. But, ah

[Assistant] I could do that. Oh, I didn't I didn't mean all at once. I meant like, you know,


[User] You know like like in the course of the night, i'll i'll put away seven, no problem.

[Assistant] For you, I feel that. That's the right way to do it. Ah we're gonna you're gonna put your so your marshmallows on the stick. You got them on there, okay,


[User] Ah hold on, I got one ah oh, wait, I I dropped one I I dropped one. It's kind of dirty.

[Assistant] So yeah, that's okay. Just leave it. Just leave it. Some animal will eat it.


[User] Is ah is that safe for the animals,

[Assistant] I mean it's safe enough. Nobody's gonna get mad at us. Birds are birds like marshmallows.


[User] Are you sure they can digest that,

[Assistant] I think so. But it doesn't matter. We're just gonna just ignore the we have so many marshmallows. Take another. Here you go yeah.


[User] I got all four on there.

[Assistant] All four on there, okay, I got all four of mine on there. So we're gonna put em over the fire, but you don't want it to touch the fire unless you really, really like it burnt. How how done do you like your your s'mores,


[User] All four on there, okay, I got all four of mine on there. So we're gonna put em over the fire, but you don't want it to touch the fire unless you really, really like it burnt. How how done do you like your your s'mores,

[Assistant] Like like like a little bit of like like a little bit of black around around the rim.


[User] Like like like a little bit of like like a little bit of black around around the rim.

[Assistant] Little bit of black but mostly dark brown okay okay so yeah i'd say like hold it just right right about there but oh


[User] Oh oh man, that's like ah like a like a crest. That's like a cloud of carbon there.

[Assistant] I'm just going to take a graham cracker, i'm going to swipe it into the fire. We're going to let the fire eat that marshmallow, ok, ok, i'm going to give you another one. Here you go. Don't burn this one.


[User] I got your graham crackers ready when you're ready, when you feel like they're done. I'm going to put a piece of chocolate here, ok, and i'll.

[Assistant] These marshmallows are good. I don't want to overcook them. These are good.


[User] These marshmallows are good. I don't want to overcook them. These are good.

[Assistant] So stick your stick out and i'm going to take the marshmallow, i'm going to take the graham crackers and i'm going to slide them off the stick with the marshmallows already in between the graham crackers, ok,


[User] Yeah how's that, do you,

[Assistant] Just back up a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I got it. Awesome, here you go. Careful, it's a little sticky.


[User] I want extra, a little bit extra chocolate on this one.

[Assistant] Okay, ah you know where you put it under the log in the back,


[User] That's what I like to hear.

[Assistant] I brought four boxes of


[User] Ah yes, ma'am in the back.

[Assistant] Yeah ah my name's stacy um yeah ah I just wanted to know, as somebody who's colorblind, is there a way to tell the difference between the colors scientifically without just looking at them,


[User] And so it's it's really it's it's creating an and illusion of these bands of colors.

[Assistant] Okay, I have another question. Why is it always in the same order?


[User] And and so so so ah so what what we see as a color is really it's just ah it's like it's a level of how much of the light ray is is you know is struggling against against the the pressure in the air and the and the atmosphere atmospheric pressure.

[Assistant] Atmospheric pressure okay how do you remember the order of the colors, do you have a mnemonic device,


[User] Atmospheric pressure okay how do you remember the order of the colors, do you have a mnemonic device,

[Assistant] That's an excellent question now if if you read literature so so back back before they had color photography if you read literature historians don't know for sure if what our ancestors called blue is the same thing we call blue. We don't know that for sure.


[User] Ah to to answer your question um can you repeat your question, please,

[Assistant] Yeah it was just if you had any mnemonic devices to remember the colors in order or any any like tricks to remember the orders of the like red, orange, I don't remember.


[User] You know um if if you look at my at my my faculty website, I actually have um I published an article an article in the scientific journal last year um I have ah ah a database online that that you can refer to for for for the color scheme.

[Assistant] Great. Thank you so much. Professor.


[User] It's in a spreadsheet.

[Assistant] And spreadsheet, what's your website,


[User] Yes, what's your question,

[Assistant] Um so what what like, what threshold temperatures cause that, like, how how cold does it have to get,


[User] Um so what what like, what threshold temperatures cause that, like, how how cold does it have to get,

[Assistant] So typically, we want orcas thrive in in environments that are just above freezing. So it's it's in the thirty three to thirty nine degree temperature fahrenheit range that we typically see orcas existing in their pods because of global warming. We're seeing that sometimes these orcas will not travel to their typical migration spots because the water temperatures are, in fact, warmer in places like the southern hemisphere.


[User] Thirty three to thirty nine degrees, you said,

[Assistant] Fahrenheit, yes. I can't tell you the celsius off the top of my head.


[User] I was going to ask you what that is in celsius, but ah okay, i'll look that up.

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta plug that into your Google. Yeah. Any other questions?


[User] Yeah, you gotta plug that into your Google. Yeah. Any other questions?

[Assistant] Yeah um what what what's the what's the what's the largest whale that's currently known,


[User] Yeah um what what what's the what's the what's the largest whale that's currently known,

[Assistant] So the largest whale that's currently known is, in fact, of the blue species. It is a blue whale. We've named her samantha. It was named by a scientist out of new mexico after his daughter. We've we've tagged her, and we we currently know that she's somewhere in the waters around northern egypt. But we're not fully certain right now because I honestly I haven't looked at the data in a few months.


[User] How how often do they come up to the surface,

[Assistant] Ah blue whales or or orcas, so blue whales need to breathe every two to four hours. So typically, we'll see them resurface sometimes ah five or six times a day um up to twelve times a day orcas, on the other hand, they typically frequent shallower waters. They like to stay near the surface. They they hunt on the surface of the water typically, so they're going to be a little bit more in the north or in the in the upper waters. Does that make sense,


[User] Yeah yeah. What like what what what will species are most affected by plastic pollution?

[Assistant] That's a great question. Ah in fact, the sperm whales are on the endangered list, the endangered species list this year. It's the first time they've ever been on the endangered species list. So I would say, as far as this year is concerned, probably the sperm whale. But overall, I would say every single whale is impacted by the amount of plastic that we are putting into our ocean waters.


[User] Is it is it more is it that they're directly eating plastic waste, or is it more that they're that that they're that the fish they're eating you know have, like, plastic in their bodies,

[Assistant] Unfortunately, it's both. We've seen evidence of ah plastic and um other garbage in in the whale in the stomachs of the whales themselves. We've also seen in the smaller fish, in the smaller ah prey that they consume that they indeed have plastic as part of their biomes as well because they've just been consuming it for years and years at this point. So we have several scientists who have ideas for how to reverse this but when it's taking place over the course of multiple areas, both the food that they consume and in the prey itself we're we're going to see a lot of problems with whales having plastic inside


[User] Can you tell me tell me about orcas' mating rituals,

[Assistant] Yeah so orcas are very sensual creatures. They ah they are one of the few animals on this planet known to have ah mating known to mate for pleasure and have sex for for reasons other than just mating so um it's a little bit tough for a scientist to know exactly which is a mating ritual and which is just a pleasure ritual for an orca. Typically ah they they swim in circles around each other and that's how the act itself starts.


[User] Circles around each other, uh, clockwise or counterclockwise?

[Assistant] Ah females, it's typically counterclockwise and males we typically we typically see clockwise. But ah it orcas have also been known to display non-hom or non-heterosexual behavior yes, it's true. So when we have ah for example, two females or two males one will typically take on the counterclockwise role although sometimes we've seen it that they follow each other. It's it's quite a nice phenomenon.


[User] Ah females, it's typically counterclockwise and males we typically we typically see clockwise. But ah it orcas have also been known to display non-hom or non-heterosexual behavior yes, it's true. So when we have ah for example, two females or two males one will typically take on the counterclockwise role although sometimes we've seen it that they follow each other. It's it's quite a nice phenomenon.

[Assistant] Interesting. So they they communicate by ah echolocation. What what is that exactly, it's like vibrations, how does that work,


[User] Interesting. So they they communicate by ah echolocation. What what is that exactly, it's like vibrations, how does that work,

[Assistant] So its its vibrations created deep within the vocal chord systems of these whales that travel through water and and cut through the the ocean salt and they are able to locate each other using echolocation, yes. You can read about it in chapter seven.


[User] Like how how how complex like a language do they have, like like what like what kind of thoughts do they communicate,

[Assistant] We've cataloged over four hundred and seventy three distinct words that orcas and blue whales ah tend to communicate and speak with each other but we we suspect that there's somewhere in the range of over a thousand different vocal patterns that these whales can create.


[User] We've cataloged over four hundred and seventy three distinct words that orcas and blue whales ah tend to communicate and speak with each other but we we suspect that there's somewhere in the range of over a thousand different vocal patterns that these whales can create.

[Assistant] I read somewhere that that um um like cruise ships and and like cargo vessels they their their motors like disrupt like screw up the the whole the whole ah communication system.


[User] I read somewhere that that um um like cruise ships and and like cargo vessels they their their motors like disrupt like screw up the the whole the whole ah communication system.

[Assistant] Ah yes, it's true. We've seen evidence of whales getting lost because a cruise ship enters the path of their migration. Ah we we know that it can if if a boat with these kind of motors like you're talking about tends to intercept a whale, it can destroy a whole pod. It can separate a group from each other. And it's in fact how we saw the greatest north atlantic pod that was full of twenty seven members. That's how we saw it reduced down to just sixteen and nine.


[User] Ah sounds tragic.

[Assistant] Yeah it was ah it's an unfortunate reality that whales do tend to die when things like this happened. A human intervention has made it more difficult for whales to exist in their ecosystems like they did for thousands of years before we began polluting and these things.


[User] What's the best, ah like, conservation efforts, like, what, like, what's the best thing we can do to support whales,

[Assistant] Well, I would say lobby your congress members, ah donate to organizations like the world wildlife fund and ah make sure that you're getting involved. It's activism that really makes a difference in the lives of these whales.


[User] Yeah yeah, so we're we're gonna target um five whales as our subjects and and we're we're gonna tag them, we're gonna tag them with locating devices.

[Assistant] Which kind of whales are you going to be observing?


[User] Um we're we're we're going to actually focus on on killer whales.

[Assistant] Okay and you said five


[User] Yeah well, a um minimum of five.

[Assistant] So are you going to be looking at a single pod unit,


[User] Thats ah thats the idea, yeah yeah with the within the same the same family.

[Assistant] Okay and once you tag them, where do you hypothesize that their migration patterns will take them,


[User] Yeah yeah, we're we're gonna have we're gonna have data every every every every nine minutes it's gonna communicate a precise location.

[Assistant] Fantastic. Are you also monitoring their food habits?


[User] Well, that's ah that's harder to do once they get once they get um ah five nautical miles from shore. It's it's it's going to be hard to do that with the resources we have.

[Assistant] How many how much more money would you need to be able to also catalog their food resources as part of this study,


[User] I've actually i've i've already launched i've already launched an indiegogo campaign for for my thesis project my my goal my my goal is seventeen thousand we're at ah sixty three percent of of our goal we have um we have one ah hundred and three sponsors.

[Assistant] Wow, that's a lot of sponsors I think that's more than anyone in our classes ever had.


[User] Yeah surprise there there seems to be a lot of lot of interest in in whales.

[Assistant] Yes, especially killer whales. Now, once you're done tracking these whales, how will you, uh, remove the tracking systems,


[User] Um so perhaps another group in here can be in charge and make their final project about removing the trackers.

[Assistant] Um well, the it's it's the the question is still up for debate whether um whether it's necessary to to retrieve them we're not what we we haven't seen really any conclusive data that that it that it harms the whales to to leave the devices in their bodies and and it it's obviously it's it would be a lot more costly to send an expedition to find the whales than to just buy new tracking devices.


[User] Um well, the it's it's the the question is still up for debate whether um whether it's necessary to to retrieve them we're not what we we haven't seen really any conclusive data that that it that it harms the whales to to leave the devices in their bodies and and it it's obviously it's it would be a lot more costly to send an expedition to find the whales than to just buy new tracking devices.

[Assistant] That is true good point all right yes all right class we're gonna wrap it up there class dismissed have a great weekend everybody i'll see you on monday


[User] Maybe we could do like a ah wellington, like like a beef wellington that's going to like impress everybody if we can pull it off.

[Assistant] Wellington if you think if you think you can do that, i'll assist.


[User] I mean, I don't mind taking over the wellington. Do you want to be in charge of the salad,

[Assistant] Yeah, salad, i can handle.


[User] Somebody who's very rich and can commission art more than me, probably.

[Assistant] Well, that's a very cynical view of modern art, my friend.


[User] Michael bay's best film yet I swear to god.

[Assistant] I couldn't couldn't agree more. I just surgery via video chat in a moving vehicle, like oh my god.


[User] I mean, I just want to get in more spaghetti before we go back home, personally. I'm um all for the pizza. Let's get in as many carbs before we have to get back on that plane.

[Assistant] Word.


[User] I would say grape that, that yeah, that, that one that one place we went to. It was like this. It was like a grape sorbet kind of a thing.

[Assistant] Grape, ooh, i'm, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a grape sorbet kind of thing. It was a very strange flavor for for some gelato, but I have to admit it was pretty good.


[User] We can make a we can make a detour. Yeah, I think it's worth a last look. So since it's in the same neighborhood, I think we just make a quick little right turn.

[Assistant] Well, I mean, the vatican's not exactly the same neighborhood.


[User] Oh snap, okay, I love colin farrell and everything. I came into this blind, I had no idea what we were seeing. I'm so excited now.

[Assistant] And yeah, he like he really yeah he he gives a really unique like like you would never you never expect him to play willy loman, but he he gives a really unique take on the character. It's different than any other willy loman you've seen before.


[User] I love matzo ball soup. Yeah, awesome. Get some latkes, get some, get some good, oh, gotta, yeah, gotta get some Reuben on rye. Yeah, amazing. We're in New York, we might as well get a bagel too, so.

[Assistant] Oh, i didnt even think of that. Of course, gotta get a bagel.


[User] I do not believe that. I read that he is also starting to edit history as other Communist leaders have done.

[Assistant] Yeah.  Omg Kim jong un was voted most sexiest man alive by the onion, china totally believes it.


[User] Haha, true! But speaking of weird orbits, the planet Venus does not tilt, so it has no seasons. It's the only planet that rotates clockwise.

[Assistant] Interesting!  Its been fun chatting!


[User] That is too funny, I always think of the scene in back to the future when I hear Reagan and actor!

[Assistant] haha yes good memory I remember that. Do you also like Bill Murray? He said that Kung Fu Hustle is the supreme achievement of modern age in terms of comedy!


[User] no way, all these short names, I never knew that! I wonder where the name Minerva went

[Assistant] Do you listen to rap music?


[User] that is good to hear what about the name bamboo for the lizard king?

[Assistant] Yes, I have heard of that one. It terrorized a FL family. Is is said to be 100 pounds!


[User] Hi, how are you? Who is Johnny Depp? A singer? An athlete?

[Assistant] He is an actor. He is the one that directed the movie The Brave, if you have seen it


[User] I saw that!  Not looking good.  There hasn't been a US president who wasn't a republican or a democrat since 1853.  I think we might see a different party within the next 20 years.

[Assistant] I would love to see a different party. In the past the runner up in a presidential election automatically became the vice president.


[User] I was only just made aware of that offer.  There are always people willing to exploit a system like that.

[Assistant] But, to go as far as to buy things at a yard sale and try to return them, that's just taking it to a new level of exploitation.  A crook will always be a crook, for sure!


[User] This kind of promise works well in a small group, but once it goes national you lose the personal connection, and some will exploit it.

[Assistant] How true.  On a side note, do you own any UGG boots?


[User] Not my style.  I see them around all the time now, are they comfortable?

[Assistant] Yeah, they are very comfortable and quite warm.  Do you know they were invented by surfers?


[User] My boot and shoe supply is limited.  I have some work shoes and some running shoes, and one pair of dress shoes.

[Assistant] Well, that's really all one needs!


[User] That's weird. Istanbul has a vending machine for dogs! That's so kind.

[Assistant] What, that's crazy! Wonder how long they stay in there if no one buys them. Did you know the U.S. President's guest house is bigger than the White House?


[User] I know they steal spiderwebs to construct and repair their nests. When I get a spider web on me, I freak out lol.

[Assistant] That is pretty scary. I wonder what noises birds in australia make?


[User] Yeah the second largest after Google and its also owned by Google so there is a monopoly in that field.

[Assistant] I just can not believe that Google paid $1.65 billion for it!


[User] The Steelers.

[Assistant] Coo, I have mad respect for Big Ben and Pittsburg!


[User] I'm somewhat interested in politics but they just make me depressed.

[Assistant] Nah, I think it is at its best now. Most entertainment in years.


[User] Me too.

[Assistant] I can't imagine how everyone got so caught up in it


[User] I'm not sure, but the translation of the first harry potter book is the longest published book in greek

[Assistant] Given its popularity, I sure its been translated into multiple languages.  What I did not know is that the Harry Potter books I just read were translated to American English from British English!


[User] He bought a property and found a barn on the property full of classic cars!

[Assistant] wow! what a find! i wonder how much they were worth. Why did someone leave them there? hm


[User] hello, I love horses. One of my fav are the icelandic horses. They go very fast.

[Assistant] Hello, I love horses also. I like how the get along with the Dalmatians that are with firefighters that protect them.


[User] Hello, I love horses also. I like how the get along with the Dalmatians that are with firefighters that protect them.

[Assistant] There was a fire here in LA and so many horse were saved by out firefighters. Any other animals were not very lucky. It was very sad. We need to do more to protect animals


[User] oh wow. Here in Iowa we don't really see fires like that. But I agree we do need to protect animals

[Assistant] There are so many different kinds of animals in the world. many are going way too. We need to be more like Germany. Have you head of what they are doing?


[User] could be. Probably is goes all the way back to Africa I've recently learned. We are basically African animals at one point lol

[Assistant] I can see that. We sure have come along way since then


[User] I can see that. We sure have come along way since then

[Assistant] or not lol..... I randomly learned sound can cause fear in humans. That's pretty wild


[User] or not lol..... I randomly learned sound can cause fear in humans. That's pretty wild

[Assistant] I believe that. I know there are some sounds that cause me fear


[User] I wonder how that happens. ANy guesses?

[Assistant] It's got to be something in the sound frequency


[User] It's got to be something in the sound frequency

[Assistant] Yea I'm just wondering what is in that which activates a fear in our human emotion. I wonder if we get that from animals??


[User] We could have I am sure there are certain sound that cause them to fear

[Assistant] totally. Interesting conversation


[User] I have actually. Did you know it only had 54 colors?

[Assistant] Wow that is it? Too bad it got discontinued in Japan in 2003 though


[User] THat is such a huge change for her, wow. Did you know every republican president has had a beard?

[Assistant] Yeah, Hillary wasn't the only one to change her mind; Reagan was originally a Democrat! I don't think Donald Trump has a beard, but I think every president who has had a beard was a Republican.


[User] Yeah I was thinking about that, maybe he decided to change that. The colors blue and red were adopted by both parties only stated in 2000 I did not know that.

[Assistant] That's pretty funny. I wonder if it's because that was when internet and the spread of information really took off? There needed to be more branding to differentiate.


[User] That's pretty funny. I wonder if it's because that was when internet and the spread of information really took off? There needed to be more branding to differentiate.

[Assistant] I guess so, that is actually a really good point. Nice chatting with you.


[User] Yes, and he's only led them to the playoffs once during his five years as coach. Can he do it again?

[Assistant] And that really brings us back to the gelling concern. He has a diverse and new cast of players - can he bring them together AND help them play well within a single year? I think their expectations are high, but maybe would benefit from some grounding.


[User] That is interesting! Can you believe there are some birds that will migrate all the way from Alaska to Mexico without sleeping?

[Assistant] That's pretty incredible!  Do you like to dance?


[User] I think it is heat that the iconic polo shirt was invented by a tennis player!  Lacoste's nick name was the crocodile.

[Assistant] There are four Grand slam tournament which is very popular. The modern game of tennis is originated in England.


[User] I don't know how anyone would take a president named Banana seriously.

[Assistant] His opponent was named Spinach. Most people would choose a banana over spinach. I wonder if he was a singing Banana, like that President of Indonesia, who produced 3 pop albums while in office?


[User] I guess, but that was back in 1916. What a game. I wonder who scheduled that one.

[Assistant] They probably got fired after it if they were from Cumberland. Oi!


[User] Yes.  Did you read his book "The TB12 Method"?

[Assistant] No, I didnt read that one, did you read it?


[User] I have not a word, a hateful word.

[Assistant] Yes, an ugly, horrible word. And you know what? I've had people coming a dike to my face. So I know in their hearts aren't homophobic.


[User] I'm doing this for you.you have a problem with being black? okay,

[Assistant] I just I have a problem with people sirsir, I'm notwith you walking into private property and posting thingswithout permission. but I do appreciate your support.


[User] hold on a second. where is this coming from?is this Mr Lawrence again?

[Assistant] no, no,no. you just,you just don't get it.


[User] That's what your father, not exactly the perfect girl, mom and.

[Assistant] You comparing me to my father? like what? What are you doing with me? Because why?


[User] What about Amber? Oh wow. Ya. And she's sitting right there. Yeah, yeah. That's.

[Assistant] That's, that's a heartbreak.


[User] That's, that's a heartbreak.

[Assistant] I haven't thought of that. That's great, yeah. Let me just ask her.


[User] an empty cavity in your chest.

[Assistant] there's a reason a father would never,ever want a son like youor your pitiful brother.and we are not done


[User] Honestly, you guys are a great couple. Do not tell her. I said nice things about her.

[Assistant] I think you and Steve are a great couple too. In fact. The whole time that we were dating, I knew. I knew you were still in love with him.


[User] These tickets are counterfit.

[Assistant] Are you kidding? That's the last time I trust a guy whose office is a gas station bathroom man. Gonna do.


[User] Stop there. Who was wearing it?

[Assistant] Day off. And you can thank Winnie's kid. He's got six errors, yeah.


[User] He's five.

[Assistant] And if we could just trade him.


[User] No, I don't think.

[Assistant] I told you it was too spicy for you. Look at your shirt.


[User] You know, I just need to get a little bit of a drink.

[Assistant] You know, cameras in the water makes this so worse.


[User] No, no. I know about the cruise.

[Assistant] Ah, Justin, I am going to ring his little neck.


[User] This is what I've been trying to tell you, Nora, before we got carried away.

[Assistant] Carried away. You lied to me. How dare you do this to me? You know what? I went through with William?


[User] My wife knows all about us.

[Assistant] Oh, that's great. That is just great. That explains all the hang-ups I've been getting. She must be the one person on earth more furious than I am.


[User] I know I should have told you earlier. You and I happened so fast. I didn't know how to tell you without.

[Assistant] Without without ruining it.


[User] And I know it sounds.

[Assistant] Was selfish. You never asked me if I wanted to be a part of your little arrangement.


[User] No, this is the line for tickets to see screeny paletti. Yeah, this is the line.

[Assistant] And all these people. I was gonna be out here in an hour.


[User] It's the bunt cake that I need for Kevin's interview tonight. I think I maybe overdid it with the orange that.

[Assistant] Thank God mixed.


[User] Hey mom, hi, do you?

[Assistant] Hello, Dolly.


[User] No, no, no. it's working. I just thought we could come over here, you know?

[Assistant] Hey, oh, how wonderful, good, wonderful. But watch your videos. Frank, the kids are here. Buckle your pants. And Deborah.


[User] And, um, oh, call me back, um. I forget. Do you spread the chicken before or after you at the cheese? Come over. Um, okay. Come over.

[Assistant] What's going on? Nothing, nothing.


[User] What's going on? Nothing, nothing.

[Assistant] I'm just making dinner for tonight. Not a big deal. Just dinner. I can cook. Okay, I'm fine. Can I help you?


[User] Yeah, yeah. You went back from that trance.

[Assistant] How much was it?


[User] How much was it?

[Assistant] So bad. Yeah, right, right, right, right, right.


[User] So bad. Yeah, right, right, right, right, right.

[Assistant] Right, right, right. Oh God, I know me too. Me too.  Okay, well, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?


[User] So I guess me. Have enough people doing that? I look to you for honesty.

[Assistant] You know what, Robert? You're not the only one that has a right to be upset here. I just found out I'm pregnant. And what do I do? I get to jump up and down and beat Giddy and and call my mother and call my fiancee and call my friends. No, do I do I get to go out and buy booties or whatever? Because I have to worry about your campaign?


[User] I don't think I'm the right one for you,

[Assistant] but you've got so much to give and no one to give it too.and we all want you so much.


[User] Nora, Tommy doesn't want to be saved.

[Assistant] You don't know. That's tall. Please help me, please.


[User] Because I made a mistake, Kevin. and the worst thing I did was try to pretend it never happened. I love you. And I know I owe you the truth.

[Assistant] Know what you owe me was Fidelity.


[User] I left my cell phone in your car and I got to be in touch with Mama Today. She's talking to the insurance agency for the first time to see if they're going to rebuild Grandpa's farm.

[Assistant] Rebuilt it. Because of the tornado. I totally missed the connection. A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Camp's hometown. I throw a party based on gay cinemas, most famous tornado.


[User] And Lily was, we named her daughter after a pig.

[Assistant] Could you just witness my pain instead of criticizing? I just want to be in touch with my family today. Get all this tornado stuff behind me so I can enjoy the fabulous party here.


[User] You really think so?

[Assistant] No, they're the worst. Give me, I've had them all by myself for a week. I don't want them anymore. I am this close to leaving them at a fire station.


[User] Well, perfect. If they don't behave, tell them they can't go.

[Assistant] Yeah, but then I don't get to go. Kimmy, I love Disneyland.


[User] Baby looks so beautiful.

[Assistant] Thank you. And you guys look so. Harry. Well, I better get going. Good luck with your.


[User] Good luck to you, too, honey.

[Assistant] I don't need, look, this is going to be the best homecoming dance ever because the theme is best homecoming dance.


[User] Okay, listen. My partner and I, we went on this call, right? And there was this nutjob lady who was bothering Ali. She thinks she's Joe Frazier. and Ali is trying to, you know, dunk it. Anyway, she's now the heavyweight champ of Bellevue. So I end up talking to Ali S manager, and I send them your article. and he sent this back.

[Assistant] My God, Robert.


[User] Well, just be honest.

[Assistant] She intimidates me every time I open my mouth, I say something stupid. I call her bedrooms and teasing. That's not even a word. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm just water washing my hands. Help me tell me what to say, okay?


[User] Surprise, he has to work as a gardener dog.

[Assistant] Ray. He's a great champion. I've been breeding him for years. Where is he?


[User] Explain what. Where's Baron? Is he all right?

[Assistant] No, no. Yeah, he's fine. He's fine. He's fine. Let me ask you something. Do you know the bowl player art shamsky?


[User] Art Shamsky has my doll.

[Assistant] No, no, no, no. He's retired. But my brother, Ray.


[User] You know what, kids? I had a dream. every time I see Shirley Chisholm, I think, wow, hey, that could have been me. Yeah, I could have done a lot of things. I could want to pull it, surprise.

[Assistant] If she only learned how to pull it to her.


[User] Well, I brought grass-fed antibiotic free, practically healthy stakes.

[Assistant] I brought. Six pack of wine. It was buy five, get one free.


[User] Maybe this is hemorrhoid.

[Assistant] It stings a little, but it really works, see? You might want to try it. So how are things between you and Ray?


[User] Yeah, I'm not sure we need this.

[Assistant] Well, you know me, Deborah. I'm the last person I want to cause any trouble. But. I, I've heard some things.


[User] Marie, I'm not worried about Ray.

[Assistant] Oh, I trust Ray, too. I don't trust that pizza. Paula Puta.


[User] Will you let me finish my sentence? If you let me finish, then I could finish it. Well, now I am at a loss for words. This is also sunny.

[Assistant] You can't even watch sports with me. something you like. You got to have these two over as buffers.


[User] You can't even watch sports with me. something you like. You got to have these two over as buffers.

[Assistant] I didn't think inviting them over would be such a big deal. They're good company, laughter, even. I don't buy that.


[User] It's about a rain. that's so beautiful. I can't even believe it existed.

[Assistant] That's the first line you read one line.


[User] I'm so tired of fighting. I don't. Can we just stop?

[Assistant] You don't willing to fight for anything.


[User] Look, am I gonna stop playing playing music?

[Assistant] I get it. You can play music, music anywhere. But what we have. You and me, our band. You're never going to find that again.


[User] If your girls keep trespassing, I am going to call the cop.

[Assistant] Well, if you keep harassing us every time a squirrel runs through your bushes, I'm going to call the cops.


[User] My garage has been broken into twice.

[Assistant] I know, Steve, you have told me more than twice. Listen. We're having an open house tomorrow. Why don't you just come by? Okay, why don't you meet the girls? See the work that we actually do here? I think you will be pleasantly surprised.


[User] Well, I'm.

[Assistant] Really? I thought you were forty eight. I was just being polite. Welcome to your amazing race birthday challenge for which I am receiving. no extra compensation.


[User] You have to put these five pictures of D J in chronological order, oh.

[Assistant] Well, that's easy. Nobody knows me better than me.


[User] Nora, please let me explain.

[Assistant] God, when I think of all the precious moments of my life, I have wasted trying to swallow my fury at you.


[User] I was in a very difficult situation.

[Assistant] Really, is this about your money troubles? Good God, William left you more money than most people could dream about. And when you lost that, you sold his legacy and slid it away for your own profit. It's always about money with you and.


[User] You are, Rochelle. I heard about you. I'm happy.

[Assistant] Hattie, well, this is my friend Vanessa. How did you hear about me?


[User] can you ask question?

[Assistant] no, you can't ask questions as a witness.don't ask questions, ladies and gentlemen. yeah,


[User] no, you can't ask questions as a witness.don't ask questions, ladies and gentlemen. yeah,

[Assistant] okay, I know that. but um, what are you doing?


[User] I actually didn't play with you, Joe Sche, and I wanted to give him some other guy, but we won best at it too.

[Assistant] Yeah, I think, I think Cj posted a picture with him. Actually, it's at a reunited. I think. Was it, was it like his older brother visiting from? College or something?


[User] Kate, now you're twisting my word. okay,

[Assistant] well, for the past 20 years,you have swallowed everysingle comment about my way.but now you want to bring it up nowbecause it's something that I want.


[User] well, for the past 20 years,you have swallowed everysingle comment about my way.but now you want to bring it up nowbecause it's something that I want.

[Assistant] Kate, where do I draw the line?how do I tow the line, Kate? because we can shut up.


[User] Is for us to be a family. A real family.

[Assistant] But I always thought that you didn't like my being in your family.


[User] Thought you didn't like me being in your family.

[Assistant] Why would you say that well?


[User] Why would you say that well?

[Assistant] You know, when you bring food over to the house.


[User] You know, when you bring food over to the house.

[Assistant] I do it because I care.


[User] I do it because I care.

[Assistant] But see, I feel like that's a criticism. You know, you're saying I'm not as good as you.


[User] But see, I feel like that's a criticism. You know, you're saying I'm not as good as you.

[Assistant] You don't have to be as good as.


[User] I know. I still can't believe I go to school.

[Assistant] Kelly, anything okay?


[User] Yes, and you know what they say about babies having babies. It's a crisis.

[Assistant] My God, this is all I thought about for, for, for a year.


[User] My God, this is all I thought about for, for, for a year.

[Assistant] Well, I mean, maybe you should develop some other interests. Look like that. All I'm saying is, is you shouldn't get so naughty about being pregnant.


[User] Well, I mean, maybe you should develop some other interests. Look like that. All I'm saying is, is you shouldn't get so naughty about being pregnant.

[Assistant] But.


[User] But.

[Assistant] Well, first of all, the language, not really for children. Let's just let it happen. Okay, if it happens, then it happens.


[User] Well, first of all, the language, not really for children. Let's just let it happen. Okay, if it happens, then it happens.

[Assistant] You have to keep at it. There's only so many days per month.


[User] Never trust a black man who speaks French.

[Assistant] Ah, Banks party for six, eight Pm. Most of them is the banks right this way.


[User] Ah, Banks party for six, eight Pm. Most of them is the banks right this way.

[Assistant] Good Monday, we, we, we, we really means white, white.


[User] Well, back in the hospital, but better because of Elsie and her friend Ivy. If it's okay, I invited Ivy to come and live with us and.

[Assistant] Uh huh. Well, I brought you something that's going to make you feel so much better.


[User] Surgery bear our first year dating. We went to a carnival at the milk can toss. There was a bear that Clara really liked. I spent all night trying to win it, but I just couldn't. came back the next night and the carnival had left town so. I drove to Fresno, failed again. Sacramento, no dice. Six weeks later in Carson City, Nevada happened. Yeah, when I handed it to her and saw the smile on her face, I proposed to her on the spot and. Anywho, just come with me to every visit in the hospital since for good luck.

[Assistant] And I was so worried about forgetting it. that guess what I did?


[User] Remembered.

[Assistant] I brought you your nice comfy neck pill and I'm gonna run right home and get your surgery bear. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.


[User] What do you mean? What's going on? Well, yes, I know, Justin. And Rebecca, but mom, that doesn't mean that you can't go out.

[Assistant] That it's everything, it's everyone.


[User] But if he doesn't, you have to respect his wishes and accept that. Okay, that's one. You know, you're only allowed to process.

[Assistant] Thing is, I don't want to be married to someone who is an island. I want a real partner. Do you know? I've never seen him cry. Well, once when he heard the Raiders were moving to Vegas.


[User] I just think it's funny that you thought you had nothing to talk about.

[Assistant] No, no, to bug my mouth. Brittany Alma milk latte, Brittany.


[User] it's crazy.us hiding in a married man's bathroom like a couple ofcheap fluzies.

[Assistant] so far I'm just hearinga factual depiction of what's happening here.


[User] Toby.oh, my God. late twilight.late twilight. that's where we are.she's coming in here.what should we do?

[Assistant] pretend we're hot plumbers


[User] I can't. Can you? Tell me what happened to you and the others.

[Assistant] They kept us hooked up to monitors. Took samples of our blood. It ran all kinds of test on.


[User] Otto. Who are they?

[Assistant] I don't know. We were drugged most of the time. I finally managed to spit my pills out and escape when they brought us somewhere in a van.


[User] Do you know where the others are?

[Assistant] I tried to remember everything I could. Um, but there is a long road and it's rural. There's no car noises. And it smelled like fertilizer and a red door. I remember that.


[User] Super dupes.

[Assistant] Ok, I'll talk. Luke and I went to a sketchy neighborhood for tacos. last night. He disappeared. and I haven't seen him since.


[User] I'm trying to help you, but I can't do that unless I know what the truth.

[Assistant] You think you have the whole thing figured out, don't you, Kevin? I was.


[User] What, no?

[Assistant] Retard said they went camping. You know, when they go next prison, will they get asked to land by other retards? Are you going to document a camping trip? Fucking call a rat Cooter is your witness. We were Fort Wayne Gunshow. You've got a crossbow Seller remembers. you got the receipt date. time stamp can get doctor security footage.


[User] I'm just trying to give our kid the most advantages possible.

[Assistant] This is what's going to be like, why, when we have an actual child, when is good going to be good enough? How many hours are you going to make them practice again or do their multiplication?


[User] oh, Kate, I was living in Fresno taking care of my mom,who's evil.

[Assistant] all right. well, um,I lost my job.


[User] Other end. Just something like a little. Lighter to you. Greg, he's been fixed.

[Assistant] Get out of here. Come on. Are you sure? yeah? Maybe he's just a little.


[User] Cause I notice you notice what?

[Assistant] What are you noticing that for? I didn't notice.


[User] What are you noticing that for? I didn't notice.

[Assistant] Right? You don't notice when I get a new pair of earrings and those are hanging off my face.


[User] Joey still doesn't want Bill to know.

[Assistant] well, I don't want Bill to know either.or Barb.I've saved up a little in case of an emergencyjust like this.yeah. and Barb can be pushy about what I spend my money on,but she doesn't need to know. I can save up more.I can be very frugal.I'll make it really nice for you.


[User] No, we're just going to tie this off, hit the open road and keep driving until the toilets flush in the other direction.

[Assistant] Oh God. Oh no. it's floated away, oh.


[User] Oh God. Oh no. it's floated away, oh.

[Assistant] Okay, it's caught in the tree. We can reach it, get out of my shoulders.


[User] Okay, it's caught in the tree. We can reach it, get out of my shoulders.

[Assistant] Right, oh, yeah, right. Oh, okay. Oh my God, that, oh, we go forward. It's too high.


[User] Right, oh, yeah, right. Oh, okay. Oh my God, that, oh, we go forward. It's too high.

[Assistant] Just reach for the string. Are you reaching for the string?


[User] Just reach for the string. Are you reaching for the string?

[Assistant] So I was putting them in a deaf leopard car.


[User] So I was putting them in a deaf leopard car.

[Assistant] It's right there. Just grab a.


[User] It's right there. Just grab a.

[Assistant] I can't reach it, Bill. I can't reach the next chapter. Oh my God. Let me down. Let me down. Let me down. Let me down. Don't you see what the universe is trying to tell us? We are never going to reach the next chapter. Looks not going to college. Alex going to grow old in the basement. Alex, just gonna keep coming back to taunt us and use up our tissues.


[User] I don't think the universe cares that much about us.

[Assistant] Phil, we tried to run away and I could still see our chimney from here, it's. Oh yeah. This is it. Welcome. To our life.


[User] Phil, we tried to run away and I could still see our chimney from here, it's. Oh yeah. This is it. Welcome. To our life.

[Assistant] Sweetheart. I am as upset as you are, But since when did anything work out the way we planned? We didn't plan on having Hailey. We didn't plan on having Alex. We didn't plan on having Luke, but we didn't plan on having Luke.


[User] Oh, I'm getting a text. What does it say?

[Assistant] Um. Okay, well, that's nothing. It's the alarm company. It says your house is broken into what? It's nothing they'll take care of, but just draw.


[User] Well, what's the matter? You got problems with Cam.

[Assistant] Oh no, why would you? Why would you say that? Well, come on.


[User] Mom, Polly called. We gotta go where now? we're like, hurry, come on.

[Assistant] Rochester. Mindy. Can you believe that?


[User] It's an aquifer. It's, ah, ah. But. I know it.

[Assistant] Just mean exactly.


[User] Just mean exactly.

[Assistant] Means that we are in the water business. I mean, do you know? We're going to need water. We are going to be ready.


[User] where is your own fucking talk?I'm fine.I'm getting better on my own.so you need to stop trying to trick me.

[Assistant] I'm not trying to trick me. no.


[User] I'm not trying to trick me. no.

[Assistant] yes, you are. you always do. all of you.and, and it's not fairbecauseI can see myselfand I know myself. and that is not it.that is your version.that is your version of me. it's your version.


[User] Oh, you mean actually sleep?

[Assistant] Yes, thank you, yes. You know, like she's over here. And then when she moves over here, you know, and I got to move over here. And she touches me. And then, and then she hugs. and then she holds and. Oh, just believe me. You're better off without it.


[User] I know this is hard for you, mom, but do we really want to wait until there's a knock at the door?

[Assistant] But, you know, I, I am not going to be sucked into this. Things are crazy enough in this family right now without you wanting to bring another offering to me. Kitty, hi, hi. but hi. What are you doing here?


[User] He wouldn't do that on purpose. He was just playing.

[Assistant] He was not playing. Okay, I'm a good judge of character. That kid. He knew exactly what he was doing.


[User] Just stop. Are you really going to let this little thing ruin a great friendship?

[Assistant] Oh, come. what friendship? We just met these people.


[User] Oh, come. what friendship? We just met these people.

[Assistant] Yeah, and you liked them immediately. You wanted to play golf with him?


[User] Yeah, and you liked them immediately. You wanted to play golf with him?

[Assistant] Yes, yeah. I'll go up with him if thekids'gonna catty, I'm out.


[User] Look, don't, don't get all crazy all.

[Assistant] Listen, I want to make friends. Why can't I have friends?


[User] Listen, I want to make friends. Why can't I have friends?

[Assistant] I'm your friend.


[User] This is the arguments.

[Assistant] Lovely. I'm telling you, I just don't like that kid. I don't make you spend time with people that you don't like.


[User] Oh, my parents.

[Assistant] Yes, your parents, they take up all the time that we would normally spend with friends. In fact, they're friend repellent.


[User] Yes, your parents, they take up all the time that we would normally spend with friends. In fact, they're friend repellent.

[Assistant] Look, you want to be friends of Lorne and Neil? That's fine. We just spend as much time as you want with them just now, the kids.


[User] Mom. Mom, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

[Assistant] I don't even know what to say to you. Where are you?


[User] I don't even know what to say to you. Where are you?

[Assistant] I don't know. I'm at a truck stop in Gilroy.


[User] Hey, Robert, it's me. Listen, I locked my keys in the car. You guys got to come and pick me up. Yeah, very fun. Come and get me. No, no. Now I can't wait to end the game. We'll, we'll call dad up and tell him to get me then, Robert, Robert. oh, I'm going to kill you.

[Assistant] I thought you might need this. You're all well.


[User] She is hot. You know, the guys at work. All right.

[Assistant] Guys, I know, I know she's hot.


[User] Did you tell a Newsday promoted a columnist?

[Assistant] I'm doing that tonight. Come on.


[User] I'm doing that tonight. Come on.

[Assistant] What the story and the jello.


[User] What are you talking about? I finished it.

[Assistant] Yeah, well, I mean, you know, your version had some good stuff in it, but it wasn't quite there yet. You know what?


[User] I think I got the car running. I drove.

[Assistant] Dude, are you okay?


[User] well, as long as you're here,could you show me where the student financial files are?

[Assistant] sure. they're here in this folder I've labeled depressing.


[User] no, he just goes by Berg for short,you know, like me, my full name is Bebe Bebe.

[Assistant] so you're telling me Deek is from the Bromberg family,as in the Bromberg elevators,the ones that are in every building in the city,as in the Bromberg ColoRectil Center at the New York hospital.


[User] Or you skip the blue book.

[Assistant] You have to earn the blue book. You know the basics, Raymond, don't you listen when I talk?


[User] You have to earn the blue book. You know the basics, Raymond, don't you listen when I talk?

[Assistant] That was twenty five years ago.


[User] You remember that on Garvey?

[Assistant] Her behind deserved framing.


[User] Her behind deserved framing.

[Assistant] You think that's funny? How will you listen to me? There's nothing funny about touring away your talent.


[User] Come on, my, what talents?

[Assistant] You had talent. You had potential. You had sensitivity. Look at your fingers. They're beautiful thing.


[User] wait a minute.I thought you didn't get emotionally attached to the client.

[Assistant] I'm emotionally attached to me.look,I made a bet that this company would growand my billables would grow with it.we're holding a pair of acesand this asshole is trying to fold.


[User] First, you bring up that. I like millionaire matchmakers. That's embarrassing. No, it's everything. But that just heightened.

[Assistant] Look, she was sitting back there. She wasn't say anything.


[User] You were? I didn't heard of the front, so.

[Assistant] Here she just came.


[User] Either way, you were insinuating.

[Assistant] God, I drove you to your date. How about?


[User] No, I didn't know that. but now I do, unfortunately.

[Assistant] I'm way into the family tree. What you can find on the internet would make your head spin. Nora. I want you to know that Tommy and I are very happy together.


[User] Okay, that's all fair. Like pizza Tuesday.

[Assistant] Or the torpedo Co field trip? What about their two good rides?


[User] Elena said she was here for us.

[Assistant] She said a lot of things. Remember videos one minute. She hates her mom. The next, she is not all bad. Which is Italy?


[User] That's true. She did look up on the whole mom thing.

[Assistant] One day, she's pro pizza Tuesday, the next, she's against it. You don't know what she's gonna land.


[User] One day, she's pro pizza Tuesday, the next, she's against it. You don't know what she's gonna land.

[Assistant] I never said anything against pizza Tuesday, exactly.


[User] do not ask him about baseball.

[Assistant] God, wrong number.you're kidding me. oh my God.


[User] Perfect, you know what? Why don't you make it bigger?

[Assistant] You know what? I will. I, I will, you know, get, get ready because you are going to come home to a, to a giant mess and.


[User] That's great idea. If you need any help, you let me know.

[Assistant] Yes, that's just what I was thinking.


[User] A sealer.

[Assistant] Oh, yes. You called Jim Kazinski. I forgot how funny he is. Do you remember his uncle to want to marry the transsexual? They're still together. Do you believe it? I mean, talk about Buck in the odds.


[User] I need to rest my face. You're fine. Yeah, all right, oh.

[Assistant] I mean.


[User] I mean.

[Assistant] An accident? Nothing big. I was in a plane crash. What happened? We were threading the needle and somebody moved. No, I didn't. You did it on purpose. It's a painkiller to, oh, he's a little loopy.


[User] Welcome, go get em, Jim. Break a leg. Yeah, make us proud.

[Assistant] I might even win today, ooh.


[User] Yeah, like you haven't been doing that to me for the past forty years.

[Assistant] So how long are you going to sing that song? You may be like a jerk way and just admit it.


[User] So how long are you going to sing that song? You may be like a jerk way and just admit it.

[Assistant] Oh, yeah. I'm a joke. Who is the one who instead of saying, hey, I'm happy for your brother through a hissy fit and storm down to the room.


[User] Oh, yeah. I'm a joke. Who is the one who instead of saying, hey, I'm happy for your brother through a hissy fit and storm down to the room.

[Assistant] Hey, hey for your information. If you remember, I said great, okay? Right? And if I was open, so I said I had a reason to, okay, because you waited until my lifetime dream got crushed before you made your big announcement that.


[User] Hey, hey for your information. If you remember, I said great, okay? Right? And if I was open, so I said I had a reason to, okay, because you waited until my lifetime dream got crushed before you made your big announcement that.

[Assistant] Oh, yeah. Well, how did it feel? Because you know what? I hope it felt really bad.


[User] Oh, yeah, I do. I hope it felt the same way. You make me feel every time you France over to mom and dad to tell me about one of your great accomplishments.

[Assistant] And if I do that, it's because up until now, nobody else had accomplishments.


[User] And if I do that, it's because up until now, nobody else had accomplishments.

[Assistant] Well, now someone does. And that's gotta be killing you, hurry.


[User] I'm a Boy Scout. I like to be prepared.

[Assistant] so you think you look like a Boy Scoutby putting dying people on the stand and tearing them apart?you're gonna look like an asshole


[User] you have to come or he'll think it's a date.well,

[Assistant] apparently it is.


[User] no, he has to ask me on a day for it to be a date.and I don't even know if he likes me or from justsome sort of projects.

[Assistant] Sarah,he has to be a huge loser to be thatold and going out with someone. R H,loser.okay.no, I'm not going.


[User] it's more your whiteness.

[Assistant] I'm not joking. you walk all over me and I let you in my home.but you've crossed a line.


[User] hey,I was just trying to help. no,

[Assistant] you weren't. you're never just trying to do anything, Ruby.you were trying to make me feel bad. oh,


[User] I should have just kept my mouth shut. I mean, it was such a great day after he thought he got that hole in one. He took us out to dinner. He bought me my first beer.

[Assistant] There you go. He's probably hurt because you marred a very special father's son experience you. Thank you, Marty. But you can fix it. He's down at the club right now, go Mitchell. On Mars, that memory.


[User] Oh no, don't smash your fingers. Your fingers are your tools.

[Assistant] I am buckle. Ah, I'm a stinky fish.


[User] I am buckle. Ah, I'm a stinky fish.

[Assistant] You're not a stinky God fish. You're a good boy who loves his mother. But come on, you only have a week to learn this before my birthday party.


[User] Maybe you should just wait until it comes to you. Make it the captain of its own spoon platoon.

[Assistant] I understand the points you're making clear, but oh, now I'm stuck.


[User] Yeah, Cam, you are stuck. You are stuck on a philosophy that clearly doesn't work. Sometimes you need to say no to a child.

[Assistant] Yeah, and sometimes you need to say no to an adult. No, Claire, no, I don't need help raising my.


[User] I have always spoken out against slavery.

[Assistant] Not in this house, Not in this marriage. You don't even know what a marriage is. A marriage is. Two people supporting each other no matter what being there for each other, for better or for worse, standing next to each other, standing up for each other, no matter what. But you don't get that. And that's why I get that potluck. I had to tell people I didn't know.


[User] What? Told people you don't know me.

[Assistant] Of course, you were actually like a goofball.


[User] Of course, you were actually like a goofball.

[Assistant] I don't care what I was doing. You denied knowing me. the pot lock.


[User] I don't care what I was doing. You denied knowing me. the pot lock.

[Assistant] You were stuffing your pants with food.


[User] No, I'm fighting for my ride because I'm sick and tired of everyone thinking the Scotty and I are in real.

[Assistant] Ah, did you just play the gay card? Because you come from the most loving liberal family known to man? Mom couldn't be more gay friendly if she twirled a baton up Santa Monica Boulevard and a share cost to.


[User] Ah, did you just play the gay card? Because you come from the most loving liberal family known to man? Mom couldn't be more gay friendly if she twirled a baton up Santa Monica Boulevard and a share cost to.

[Assistant] If you're so tolerant, let me do Christmas.


[User] I'm sorry. You're being so untractable.

[Assistant] I'm not the one foaming in the mouth like some Christmas crack.


[User] Well, maybe we shouldn't do it together this year.

[Assistant] Fine by me. Go ahead, Kevin, Go have your to treat L, G, B, T politically correct? Dawn me now. my gay apparel holiday extravaganza without me and. Enjoyed the train.


[User] I. Was really expensive.

[Assistant] So, um. How about this Victoria astrologer? I mean, I'm dying. You gotta be learning so much working next to her and.


[User] Hey, you know what? Why don't you guys come salted dancing with us tomorrow, oh?

[Assistant] Yeah, that would be great. It sounds like so much fun. I lost as a dancing day. Let's go for such a dancing with them, look. Thanks. Why not?


[User] I'm concerned in that.

[Assistant] Daddy, hypocrite. You would totally let Drew hang out with his girlfriend. You would drive him to hang out with his girlfriend. But because I'm a girl, you treat me like I'm. Twelve years old.


[User] I'm sorry. Okay, I'm really sorry, but if anybody doesn't know this guy, it's you.

[Assistant] Alright, well, I'm gonna make my own decisions, but for you, I'm gonna decide decaf. Oh, okay. I think you're a little worked out.


[User] She's so obsessed with.

[Assistant] I don't either. I don't know why you're upset with me. I'm on your upset, yeah.


[User] It's not.

[Assistant] My jar. Where did you get that?


[User] Where is this coming from?

[Assistant] Don't you ask me for the canister? I tell you I don't have it, but that's not good enough for you.


[User] What were you talking about?

[Assistant] Getting into high school is hard and getting into jail. You got to obey all these rules. You gotta fill out forms. You gotta stand in line to get licenses for things.


[User] What was all this about then? Why did you put me through all this?

[Assistant] Well, I thought my life would be better if I went in trouble and it is better. But I'm bored, Chris. I mean, when we were studying and working on stuff together, it was exciting. But to tell you the truth, Chris, I'm Ok. I have been right. But I'm an expert at being wrong.


[User] Well, I thought my life would be better if I went in trouble and it is better. But I'm bored, Chris. I mean, when we were studying and working on stuff together, it was exciting. But to tell you the truth, Chris, I'm Ok. I have been right. But I'm an expert at being wrong.

[Assistant] Marvel, you can't do this to me, man. I mean, what about all my hard work?


[User] listen to me.you are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.

[Assistant] then why did you abandon me?I,yes, you did.you left and you never came back.I didn't hear anything from you, not once in 12 years.


[User] then why did you abandon me?I,yes, you did.you left and you never came back.I didn't hear anything from you, not once in 12 years.

[Assistant] don't listen. that was never my intention. you didn't call me.


[User] don't listen. that was never my intention. you didn't call me.

[Assistant] you didn't visit me.you didn't do anything to show me that you cared.


[User] I made the worst decision of my life.but I know what I want now.I want you.

[Assistant] no,what you want is to turn me into you.


[User] no,what you want is to turn me into you.

[Assistant] that is not true.I'm trying to doeverything that I can so you won't become like me.I don't want you to be afraid of yourself,to be afraid of the world.come back here.I'm your mother.


[User] that is not true.I'm trying to doeverything that I can so you won't become like me.I don't want you to be afraid of yourself,to be afraid of the world.come back here.I'm your mother.

[Assistant] I have seven mothers and you are not one of them.come


[User] don't you tell him I'm here,

[Assistant] Mom's here.sounds like you're up to your old trips,robbing old ladies blind.why am I not?


[User] no hope compromised me,Eddie.

[Assistant] I just wanna be where they action you confirmize me.I'm not a


[User] hi. call me as soon as you get this.

[Assistant] why can't you give up this gamble in business?you have plenty of other businesses.


[User] I couldn't. We go to a nice museum? I know you hate golf. I don't hate golf. I love it. I despise it. I would rather spend all eternity at a dinner party seating next to Britney Spears and waste an afternoon logging clubs around with a bunch of overfed over privilege on a Pomo. Wanna be? But for you, I swallowed it. Except I have to spend time with this cuts. If you aren't here as a buffer, I would wrap my nine iron around his neck. Do it now and I'll spot you three strokes.

[Assistant] Yes, that's what I'm talking about. You boys are going down.


[User] I'm really hurt. okay,

[Assistant] okay. oh, Madison. Madison.oh, okay. we got him. we got John. oh, okay. here we go.


[User] Not the best philosophy in San Diego.

[Assistant] But you cannot be serious.


[User] this is fascinating.please,please tell me all about prison. bow, my God,

[Assistant] tray.I know that things happen to Omarthat he didn't want to tell me about.we have no idea where his head is at.well,


[User] we are his last line of defense. all right?he deserves a chance to start over. of course he does.

[Assistant] just not in my house. straight. it's not safe.


[User] On the street.

[Assistant] From corona to hit and run. So you never saw the guy.


[User] Because I have a moral obligation as a police officer. and I almost got caught for lying for you the last time.

[Assistant] Delicacy, delicious. Sorry, Sally, I'm frightened.


[User] Delicacy, delicious. Sorry, Sally, I'm frightened.

[Assistant] There is black and white on the side of your car.


[User] There is black and white on the side of your car.

[Assistant] I hit a penguin.


[User] I hit a penguin.

[Assistant] I'm writing the ticket.


[User] You're making that up, aren't you? no? He just didn't want to come.

[Assistant] Are you kidding me? He was very upset. He was dying to see it. In fact, look what he said.


[User] Are you kidding me? He was very upset. He was dying to see it. In fact, look what he said.

[Assistant] A little, yeah.


[User] They want to mend your mom to take you to Disneyland.

[Assistant] I told you he was an awesome dad.


[User] I'm trying to prevent the election of this evil individual.

[Assistant] Lamar Johnson is not evil.


[User] Lamar Johnson is not evil.

[Assistant] You know that since this man has come into office, my business has dropped thirty five percent.


[User] You know that since this man has come into office, my business has dropped thirty five percent.

[Assistant] That's because the murder rate has dropped thirty five percent.


[User] That's because the murder rate has dropped thirty five percent.

[Assistant] The whole reason I moved the best times because the business was booming. I couldn't keep a casket in stock. They were literally flying into the ground.


[User] I would do everything in my power to get him to feed it.

[Assistant] Wait a minute now. If you're not voting for Johnson, who are you voting for? Hammer farm. Abe Hamilton Barber owns the pawnshop.


[User] I suppose we should see about getting you home.

[Assistant] Even though Principal Edwards had traveled the world, he couldn't get me back to Brooklyn.


[User] Oh, hell. The boring guy in the loud mouth.

[Assistant] I know I was so excited that they call.


[User] You're with them right now, aren't.

[Assistant] Yes, and they can wait to see you, too.


[User] I love about you. You don't ever think any. Oh, you may be the happiest man in the world.

[Assistant] I don't know how to say this without sounding superficial, but I need to close her to look at this, really.


[User] It was my grandmother's. She hid it in her hollow out wooden foot during the Great Depression.

[Assistant] So crazy. My grandmother is on Snapchat. It's beautiful.


[User] I didn't ruin the surprise today. I mean, I was trying to act normal through dinner. I just couldn't hide how nervous I was is how I imagined fans feel when they come up and meet me at.

[Assistant] No, I didn't expect it at all. I just thought you were nervous because the lights on the right side of your face.


[User] I would like to direct your attention to the board. You will see speed limits, pedestrians, signs and signals of the highway and then.

[Assistant] Things that are boring.


[User] Things that are boring.

[Assistant] Urban versus rule driving.


[User] Urban versus rule driving.

[Assistant] I don't care about.


[User] Terribly boring things.

[Assistant] That's enough right now. But it does. Now I would like each of you to tell us what offense led you to being here today. Let's start with. Frame.


[User] There's a three month wait list for a play group. How long is this going to take? Come on, open it.

[Assistant] I mean, can't we work up to it? Open it. What are you? What are you in such a hurry?


[User] Oh, missus, I thought you have a pulse.

[Assistant] Oh, yeah, yeah, It's so very funny. Yes, yes, yes. I think the poll police. I'll figure it out. I'll just tighten some stuff.


[User] She loved you, Frank. Just didn't know how to say it.

[Assistant] Yes, I know that now also know she was sitting on a pretty big pile of money wanting me to act as an executor of her. Will. any idea where she kept the cash?


[User] It's been pretty good so far. Except I can't need any processed foods and I can't have anything would die. Do you know what I was dying? It just about everything that tastes good.

[Assistant] Not everything close to come on. I wish you a school.


[User] No, nothing, nothing, nothing. Since the last three times you called, you've got to stop calling. Well, I'm hanging up.

[Assistant] All right, just tell me one thing. How do I deal with the waiting and the not knowing?


[User] yes.why don't you.

[Assistant] no, no, I do. yes. yes, absolutely.hello, Daisy?yes. you seem to be doing just fine.um,


[User] Ah, please. Those are my colleagues.

[Assistant] Dead. So any of these colleagues, Swedish, right? I'm interested in my brother's life. And Europe.


[User] Just don't do anything to embarrass me.

[Assistant] Don't worry, I'm going to keep my mouth shut, except for when I'm going, wow.


[User] We were about to ask you to dinner.

[Assistant] Oh, well, that let me pretend to check my calendar. Look, I breathe.


[User] There is no explanation. There is no excuse. I just want to know why.

[Assistant] Ok, you know how some women say that they forget how painful childbirth boys? Well, I think that you were forgetting how panicked you were before we got Lilly and you were freaking out.


[User] okay,good.let's tell her wonder.

[Assistant] we can't do thatand no one can know this information came for me,especially not Bill and Barb.but you can put a stop to it.she'll do whatever Joey says and he'll do whatever you say.


[User] we can't do thatand no one can know this information came for me,especially not Bill and Barb.but you can put a stop to it.she'll do whatever Joey says and he'll do whatever you say.

[Assistant] I'm afraid that's not true anymore.


[User] do not let his concubine usurpe like this. Wanda,they're lying to you. it's hateful.

[Assistant] I have no say anymore.


[User] And suddenly kind of resistant to the.

[Assistant] Hey, hey, Adam, perfect. I'm just making carrot cake, oh. Pop carrot, ca..


[User] I'm going to give you a phone number.

[Assistant] Robert and Cycle, if we are stopping. Um, having a little trouble paying this month's bills. That's all.


[User] I want to keep Deborah, editors.

[Assistant] You get a lady in trouble, Raymond. Oh, listen, you can level with me. I'm your brother. Okay, you screwed up this.


[User] You get a lady in trouble, Raymond. Oh, listen, you can level with me. I'm your brother. Okay, you screwed up this.

[Assistant] What are you assuming? I screwed up?


[User] Why can't Deborah find out?

[Assistant] Cause.


[User] Because you're sitting on my desk, making God knows what kind of a mess on my files so.

[Assistant] I'm not making a mess. I fixed the problem. I was trying to help you. You should thank me.