[User] Have you been drinking?

[Assistant] No. Upstairs are setting up a whisky saw fountain.


[User] Eddie.

[Assistant] You're, you're acting at all. I don't know, like a woo, woo party girl.


[User] I'm having fun. Can I have fun?

[Assistant] I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying that it's little. Hard to watch.


[User] I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying that it's little. Hard to watch.

[Assistant] But I didn't know you were paying any attention. You seem so busy trying to get on all the buffet lines.


[User] All right, then I'll see you later.

[Assistant] Wait, wait, wait. But don't you think you're overdoing it a little, huh? Take it easy. Take a break. Come on, we'll get something to eat here. Look, room service. I got a tab running.


[User] But what's so special about those people out there?

[Assistant] And I think they're just very nice. They think I'm fun. They think I'm interesting. They like doing things with me. They like me.


[User] No, that's all right.

[Assistant] You don't have to, no. I want to.


[User] I don't know about dads, but. But we can hang.

[Assistant] We still need, Well, Fox trod. Look, no.


[User] I don't know how to do it.

[Assistant] Do yes, you do. you. You remember your cousin jeans wedding?


[User] I was thirteen.

[Assistant] But you are very good. Oh, I just want to follow me now. It's step step.  Quick step count with me. Step, step, step.  Quickset, yeah.


[User] She said it's like an eight year waiting list.

[Assistant] That's on hers. She should have gotten on the list sooner, in fact. We should get ourselves on those list right now.


[User] oh, so when you say those records were sealed,what you mean to say is you,you thought you could get away with a lie?

[Assistant] no, that's not it. you're making it seem different than it is.


[User] Did you say so?

[Assistant] The real estate. Come on. It's obvious she was having a fun time. You know, all the spending in the toilet and the whoa, whoa, you know, it seems like she had fun of me.


[User] What do you, what do you say, cheese? Did you vacant?

[Assistant] We know it. Forget it. Forget about it. If you get the whole thing, look, the important thing is that you're having a good time, right?


[User] Yeah, I learned to play the video game so that I could spend time with you. And we were having such a good time.

[Assistant] I can't believe you trick to me. I thought I was playing with another guy. And all along, it's been you.


[User] And a piece of glass of champagne. I know. And I. He took my bathroom apart. I think I can have a glass of.

[Assistant] No, I'm sorry. You can't. Not in front of me. Are you serious? Yes, I'm serious. I was always you, right? I mean.


[User] You sure you're not eating your azaleas?

[Assistant] That was yesterday Lilly supper time.


[User] From ear to ear. What wears blitz with my domain?

[Assistant] You'll get a donut when I get answers. You piece of trash.


[User] There are a lot of counterfeit avocados out. You are delightful.

[Assistant] I am. And so were you, Andrew? I can't believe nobody has snatched you up yet.


[User] Fifteen grand.

[Assistant] Ok, eighty bucks.


[User] Don't talk to me anymore.

[Assistant] How many of you get so mad about? You know, we had fun. didn't we kind of hang it out? pilot around having conversations with.


[User] Good, good, go.

[Assistant] Hey, hey, you, you think I like having to do the hokey pokey around you just to get some inflammation? I mean, if if you weren't such a Boy Scout, I could just come right out and say, right, who do you like in the game tonight and? And then we'd bet together. and and we'd win together. Then we go to one of those restaurants where the girls have the tight tops and bring it a big burgers. That's the real father and son and stuff.


[User] No, I heard rub and chest. The doctor will see you now.

[Assistant] Pass me the tissues, please. Well, could you go to the store and get me some cough medicine?


[User] No, thank you. And you know what? If you leave now, you can drop alley off on your way, oak.

[Assistant] Drop alley off with Robin and Johnny coming over to watch a game.


[User] I don't know. I missed the call. now I can't reach.

[Assistant] The black mouse? What in my dream, it was a bad omen. But probably not for you. Huh? The staircase. No, no, no, you're fine, you're fine.


[User] Am I get this? Fifteen years ago I won a lifetime supply of razor blades. They ran. Today. What's with the spitting? Are you warding off death?

[Assistant] No, when I did, I think I talk in a little bog.


[User] You are five, come.

[Assistant] How about choosing if I have two moms? Do I get to choose that?


[User] You need to stop talking right now.

[Assistant] Right, of course I do. because that's your answer. Anytime anyone disagrees with you, it stop talking, Be quiet. Do it my way.


[User] The fish dying, I think maybe made you think about. I've done. It's going to happen anytime soon. I mean, everybody. Yeah, everybody thinks about this. It's, I think about it too.

[Assistant] What in sweet hell are you talking?


[User] What in sweet hell are you talking?

[Assistant] Look, I just, I didn't mean for the gift to upset you.


[User] Look, I just, I didn't mean for the gift to upset you.

[Assistant] Nice job. You know, when I fished on, I went to Alzheimer's to see if they'd replaced it.


[User] I told you I'd replace it.

[Assistant] I don't want you to replace it, okay?


[User] This is crazy. Money's terrified of minds. And he hates Central Valley wine.

[Assistant] Hey, great news. My sausage of the month arrived at the day early. You get to be here for the unboxing.


[User] I'm not gonna film it this time.

[Assistant] Chopin say yes. They took my suggestion again.


[User] Chopin say yes. They took my suggestion again.

[Assistant] I told you it's not a suggestion on the web page is just asking you to choose one. Anyways, we have a problem. sherry's bossing manira.


[User] Why me? I don't think we should get involved at all. But I mean, if it's a problem for you, then. You do it because I don't care.

[Assistant] I can't. If I say something bad about money's girlfriend, he's not going to listen because I am the mother who thinks that nobody is good enough for her little boy and.


[User] Well, I'd love to tag along some time. Or if you need an extra pair of eyes where he works.

[Assistant] Hello, you roll B stone. Come on. You just landed literally. This is you. Well, welcome and get for you, Welcome. Oh, and run a little poker game. middle limit. you know, mostly our department, some logistics skies. I t, you know, take over the conference room. It's like a little accompanied dirty. You want no pressure bucket.


[User] You hate her sparkly outfit.

[Assistant] I told you it's fine. I just didn't like you wearing a matching one. So we haven't told the family yet, but we've decided to adopt a baby boy from America and.


[User] Please, please. I'm a realtor. I am not a criminal.

[Assistant] Well, when you're not doing it right.


[User] Maybe you could score me some methadone.

[Assistant] Hey, Bob. They accepted your offer without a counter. Maybe I came in too high? They were really happy. Hold on, Bob. It's my son. Luke, what's up?


[User] big purses. the last time you had sex?

[Assistant] no. we carried animal heights tied with sticks.it hasn't been that long.oh, here's one next to this movie ticket. step from precious.okay. it's been that long.


[User] you stop. precious without a condom.

[Assistant] it says best if used before September 2012,just like the milk here.


[User] Haley, I did not raise you to steal.

[Assistant] You just said you do it too.


[User] I made that up. So you would tell me what's going on in your life.

[Assistant] Why would I stuff a couple of Pakistani lipsticks in my person to freak out at me?


[User] I don't know. We haven't really talked about it yet, but I don't even know honestly how much of that stuff we're going to really do like the traditional.

[Assistant] You know, but you're great, But you're having a wedding. So that's traditional. So yeah, I mean, and and so none of his family is coming.


[User] I thought you already had that because of your, uh,

[Assistant] your skin color.I'm not surprised either. now,if you had told me that you had good credit.I have excellent credit.good one, Drake.I do credit repairs. now,how attached to you? to your fingerprints?okay. look, guys,as Dr Reagan says,many brave Americans live every day with diabetes.well,he lied.diabetes is awful.it can take years off your life, years off my life,decades.


[User] Oh my God. She's trying to buy a time, no.

[Assistant] But she's hiding out here. And I feel like I can't believe that you transferred all your money.


[User] If York is willing to buy your shares at that price, that's going to more than make up for what you lost in your savings. And if this is about Rebecca and Justin, you're going to be in a much better position to help with the baby if you make this sail.

[Assistant] You see, you're just not getting it. I countered with this huge amount to test him. He was already paying way more than he should have been. And lo and behold. He came all the way up to three fifty, which is insane.


[User] That right? He actually pizza.

[Assistant] You really were thinking, uh, maybe you'll do about some day drinking.


[User] You really were thinking, uh, maybe you'll do about some day drinking.

[Assistant] Um, midday midday, Drake, Yeah, you're loud. Yeah, yeah. I want to get bloated. I'm in. Um, dear money's man. Or through that, you want to join me? No, I'm good. You're free. Yeah, joy. all your core. Enjoy your sucking.


[User] You know what? Let's visualize.

[Assistant] Oh, I can visualize this in upper duo.


[User] Right, but you know what? the doctor is going to be here any minute. But in the meantime, here we go, Trish, Trish, it's a beach. Look at the waves. They are blue.

[Assistant] And their Bobby. Down.


[User] Karen didn't want us in there.

[Assistant] Don't always wait out here. Okay, she's in your tomato. three, right? Okay, um, I wanted to give you guys something. Made this for the baby. Okay. And if you guys could give it to him it. At some point, if you feel like it. Here you live. Wish I should go and get it there.


[User] He started school today. He was so panicky When I drop him off. I don't know why it's just first grade.

[Assistant] Just first grade. That's when the pressure started.


[User] Just first grade. That's when the pressure started.

[Assistant] You're freaking me out. Alex is going to be a very nervous man.


[User] Fine, stay here. We will do what you want.

[Assistant] Oh, I can do whatever I want. Thank you very much, Raymond.


[User] Oh, I can do whatever I want. Thank you very much, Raymond.

[Assistant] Hey, how many times have I told you to move on? And you always got some, some lame excuse.


[User] I'm worried about money. Money's a good excuse.

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm only thirty three. They let me put a lock on the door. I'm only thirty seven. You know what? You don't eat any more excuses because I'm not going to take a move out again. Good, that's right, great. That's right. Stay miserable for the rest of your life and wonder if you should have moved out. But now it's too late because you're old and you're bold and you're living with mom and dad and you're going to find out that the designated hitter is bad. Baseball. Nine guys hit nine guys, feel that's the game. That's the way it was meant to be played. What, what are you going to move to Florida with mom and dad and stay at a retirement footage? I'm not flying fifteen hundred miles to see you wearing socks with sandals.


[User] You bother in me, Ray.

[Assistant] Because you're always complaining about living with them. But hey, look who's still here.


[User] Because you're always complaining about living with them. But hey, look who's still here.

[Assistant] All right, enough. Want your mind to run business?


[User] Your boss had to come and pick you up tea.

[Assistant] Ah, if you count my dad, yeah.


[User] She didn't jump in the pool. She fell in the pool. Why suddenly would she jump in the pool when she doesn't know how to swim?

[Assistant] Why does she bark at the vacuum? It's a thing is never going to play with you.


[User] Are you covering her ears?

[Assistant] Let's have a little compassion. She's probably still traumatized from her new death experience. Again, what's happening?


[User] You miss being pregnant.

[Assistant] Miss it so much. I miss the night sweats. I miss the revulsion at the smell of tandoori. I miss the shoes that fit on one foot, but not the other.


[User] You always have stretch marks.

[Assistant] Thank you, Fernando. That's so sweet of you to say. Past year, it's just been so exciting to be a part of something bigger than myself. And now I'm afraid my work is done and I'm not going to be needed anymore.


[User] Here I am. Made eye contacts. Took your advice. How did it go? Went well, did you? I have't least, yeah.

[Assistant] Um, brother gonna go to big.


[User] Yeah, it's not great. And autism speaks wanted everybody to have a certificate. They're really appreciative here. You know, sir, I had to work so unbelievably hard to get my family there today. I forced Hattie to go, knowing that Amber was gonna be there. She hates me. You guys couldn't even show up.

[Assistant] I worked so unbelievably hard to try to get my family to be there. and I failed. You succeeded. It's no big surprise. Look, we had a ridiculous fight. And mom just said, don't go. And I agreed.


[User] and how's that care ofbecause of all the time you've been spending with herfor the past few weeks,because you took her to one doctor's appointment.I've been taken care of mom for 20 years

[Assistant] because you won't let anyone help you, Randall,even when we want to. you have this whole, uh,holier than thou attitude toward me and Kate.I was at. I won't float at it.


[User] huh? back up.okay,it's okay. no,

[Assistant] no, you think I'm scared?


[User] that is seriously the worst case scenario

[Assistant] you know Jamesit really scares methat you don't hate him and what is done as much as I do


[User] but none of them are four you rob boys. are they? yeah.

[Assistant] no, Jace. but they were once. and then society.society just came in and messed them all. orhow can I compete with society? Jays is bloody everywhere.if you're any people that get to pick agenda,why would we not pick the best one?


[User] You're not doomed. In the words of Bruce, the boss as Princeton. Baby, you were born to farm.

[Assistant] In the words of me, I need a miracle.


[User] In the words of me, I need a miracle.

[Assistant] Ah, that is why you should water your crops with this magic potion.


[User] Behold. Young Max. The tears of a unicorn.

[Assistant] Give me a break. We all know unicorns are real, but you're saying someone collected and bottled their tears and. That seems far fetched.


[User] I'll have, you know, that I've wanted to display this for quite some time, but I put it in a box in the garage with all my other awards. Yes, awards. Out of courtesy to a sadly award less.

[Assistant] You, it looks ridiculous. Mine is a distinguished professional award given to me by my peers and yours was given to you on a pier.


[User] Okay, well, for your information, when I won this, it was a very big deal. I kind of ribbon at the grocery store and signed autographs. Best fishes, Cameron Tucker.

[Assistant] You know what? I just remembered? Mine comes with a really fun pedestal too. Oh, look at that. Oh, and proper hierarchy is restored. Unless you suddenly remember that your fish came with a top hat.


[User] you know who I am. you know what I believe. what,what is this really about?

[Assistant] you just, you've always been so, I mean, I mean, the, the, thebeads, the African posters, theserving fucking dumb boy and fu fu at my birthday parties.you just have no idea what it's like toalready be different. and then to have you insist that


[User] you just, you've always been so, I mean, I mean, the, the, thebeads, the African posters, theserving fucking dumb boy and fu fu at my birthday parties.you just have no idea what it's like toalready be different. and then to have you insist that

[Assistant] I, I wanted you to know who you were.I knew who I was.


[User] No, it's not. Look, Sarah, that. She's representing her client. That's what Joe wants.

[Assistant] No, no, Look, we've had our disagreements. Goddess, we're getting a divorce, but we always put the kids first. Look, if I can talk to him one on one.


[User] No, no, absolutely not. You stay away from Joe. First things first, you tell me how many times you've asked him for help.

[Assistant] Who is the? While we were separating, I thought it would be a good idea to have him around. I'm being punished for that.


[User] It's not. So right after breakfast, you have to take the boys to get suits for the funeral.

[Assistant] You know, I can be with you today. I mean. Doesn't matter what the boys wear.


[User] Dog beds.

[Assistant] Dog beds. Wait, so you're telling me this pineapple is a dog bed whack? Well, now I've seen everything. Tell me more.


[User] Um. You know, dogs get tired and so. These.

[Assistant] Oh, oh, gosh. I feel like I'm doing most of the talking. How would you describe your dog bets?


[User] congratulations.

[Assistant] no gifts, please.


[User] But it's very.

[Assistant] I mean, look at how cool this is.


[User] Funny paints couldn't get the.

[Assistant] Like a skylight, honey, honey.


[User] Like a skylight, honey, honey.

[Assistant] This is like a scene from Shutter Island. This is not a place to live. Very funny.


[User] This is like a scene from Shutter Island. This is not a place to live. Very funny.

[Assistant] Duximemat. Docium.


[User] Duximemat. Docium.

[Assistant] No, why? There's like a cloud that came up, so they calm down.


[User] I'm sorry. this is a kitchen or that's a kitchen.

[Assistant] You know, that's cold and that's hot. So it's got everything I need. I mean, look, just try to imagine it. It's amazing. And it's everything that I want. I really.


[User] So. We shouldn't have to pay for something that that wouldn't happen if. You had measured the cabinets right in the first place instead.

[Assistant] Wait a minute. You think this is my fault?


[User] This bill is for my time. I was here six days.

[Assistant] Six days watching, come on down.


[User] Six days having to deal with your whole family.

[Assistant] Don't you say anything about my family? My family is totally great.


[User] You wouldn't pull this with someone who wasn't your friend.

[Assistant] That's right. You're my friend. You're not supposed to scroll, mate.


[User] That's right. You're my friend. You're not supposed to scroll, mate.

[Assistant] Oh, you, you're lucky your ass is in a sling or else.


[User] Oh, you, you're lucky your ass is in a sling or else.

[Assistant] Why, why did you start a fight with me and then finish the job?


[User] Why, why did you start a fight with me and then finish the job?

[Assistant] You know what's incredible? I gave you a break because that bill should be three thousand.


[User] Yeah, well, you know how much it is now?

[Assistant] That's it. Don't ever call me to do anything. Work golf.


[User] That's it. Don't ever call me to do anything. Work golf.

[Assistant] Nothing good, fine, fine debris. Why you do smell?


[User] What's going on, kit?

[Assistant] Nothing I just popped by to to get some. Tinsel, tinsel, tinsel, You know, you know.


[User] You're not saying goodbye to anything. This deal is done. I am so sorry to have put you in this position. I will never ask you to turn your back.

[Assistant] You got me what I wanted to tell that stupid sauce.


[User] I was trying to protect your legacy.

[Assistant] Legacy, there's no legacy. I invented that whole story to drive out the prize. Are you sure you're in sales? What about the pictures? I cut them out from Manny's National Geographic old magazines, Luke, there's even a picture at the Universal Studios tour. That's the cycle house in the back.


[User] So you want to get rid of the business.

[Assistant] Yes, I hate that sauce. It's a dog. I have storage lockers all over town, full of jars. I tried to flourish it, but it's up the pipes and.


[User] so ask him back. I'm sure he'll come.do you don't want him back now, do you?because you have basil.

[Assistant] Basil is kind and generous.spiel gives me nothing.


[User] I'm not saying that. you think that. Oh. Faith. I'm not saying a new thing either.

[Assistant] That's all right, listen. I'm sorry, but the. You know, telling you how to lighten up on everything.


[User] You know what people like. Balloon animals.

[Assistant] My whole life. Every time I felt bad for myself, mom would say the family will help. You will make you feel better. I'd fall for it every time.


[User] No, but I. I was in the position. just you're in right now. And it didn't feel great.

[Assistant] I don't know. I guess I should. Thank you for not wanting to hurt me. You don't know what I'm feeling. Okay, I'm not like. Like pining after you, you have a girlfriend, and I'm happy for you. So you just do your thing. I'll do mine. You go. But I don't. I don't want to feel like I'm holding you.  And you can talk to me about.


[User] What you mean like right now?

[Assistant] It's not like there's much else to do. I would hear me out without my phones. Talk.


[User] Ah, come on.

[Assistant] I have a headache.


[User] I have a headache.

[Assistant] Oh God, yeah, right. You can't use headache today. I already did it. Hey.


[User] No, nothing, nothing totally about your step. Totally clean, oh.

[Assistant] Yeah, oh, okay. You know, we had this problem in four E last week and. This baby. fix it right up. Tell him.


[User] I'd like to offer help, but I'm.

[Assistant] Love to take. But are real good at.


[User] Oh, uh. So you were playing me?

[Assistant] All in fun.


[User] Oh, there is nothing fun about it. You tortured me.

[Assistant] Only so we could get here now.


[User] And I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't talk about it. And you know what she told me? She told me that if I don't learn to face my grief that. It would be like taking in a deep breath and holding that breath. For the rest of my life.

[Assistant] No, that, I mean, that's, that's great. I just. There's nothing for me to let out. Okay, there's not. I think the dad died and it's very sad. Okay, it's very sad, but I don't need therapy because of it. and I don't need to go to some, some exercise class and scream my head off about it. And here's what I really don't want. I don't need to be talking to Sylvester Stalone about it. Two seconds before the biggest scene of my entire career.


[User] No. I'm sorry. From now on, I'll try to relax. I'll try to eat better.

[Assistant] Julius, if you are not in this house, this place will fall apart. And then the next thing you know, our kids have wound up in the streets. You may wind up in jail. Then I'm going to lose my job. going to his court cases. And, you know, I'm gonna do what I have to do to make ends meet. And if you think I'm going to jail for welfare fraud, you got another thing coming. So, yes, Julius, we really, really need to think about this. We need to know what we got to do.


[User] That's, that's not why I said I don't want you to do.

[Assistant] But no, it's not thing. It's easy for me. Toothbrush, razor. Come on. What do I need?


[User] What do you see in that guy, Cam?

[Assistant] I don't know. Maybe the fact that he doesn't roll his eyes every time I talk about the art of clowning like that, he may have had his faults, but we were great together. We had an unspoken language. We finished each other's balloon animals. But you would never know because you have never been to one of our performances.


[User] you and Barb are like vultures.my wedding is not a corpse to be picked up.

[Assistant] I know you want tomorrow to be your day. I understand that.I respect that.this is a family and this,this wedding was supposed to be about growing. as a fan,


[User] there are 364 other days in the year for us to grow.

[Assistant] I just think it'd be a nice time for us to all recommitto each other no matter what.I was only 16 when I was sealed to Bill.and I'm not gonna lie,I had no clue what being sealed even meant back then.I need a ceiling that means something to me now. you know,I see Pam and Carl.I don't want us to get there.


[User] well, while I have you on pause,the superintendent and hercrew are coming tomorrow to observe the school and me.so each of you put together and out of the box presentation,something big, something memorable,something tied into your subjectwould really appreciate it.

[Assistant] oh,I know what I'mma do. what is it,girl? I'm not telling you. gotta get your own thing.we got you. terms. we got you.


[User] I had the children. number two.

[Assistant] Are you following me? Explains something to me. Why do they always have to put melon and fruit and things in the water? Like, you know, they just like swamp animals in there. I remember with water ready for this. It was just water and.


[User] okay, I'm clearly blinking.

[Assistant] is he focused on work? well,not according to his Google service.


[User] okay,that's private.I'll allow it.

[Assistant] Cocomo,is it real?do we really want a principal who's daydreamingabout some fake paradise in the Florida Keys?


[User] why are the other ones real?Aruba,Jamaica.

[Assistant] Principal Durban mowing the school lawnwearing what is known as a wife beater.


[User] it was a Saturday. oh,

[Assistant] it's okay,everybody, to beat your wife on a Saturday.so we really think that Principal Durban told Jackabout the supervision policy when he can't even rememberto fix the sign in front of the school.since I've been here this week,I've noticed nothing but a trail of destructionon your watch.kids falling off of death,teachers defecating in their pants,and a Harvard professor being micromanaged by an incompetentlittle winner.but we have a chance to be on the right side of history.ladies and gentlemen,


[User] What's a poetry slam?

[Assistant] It's sort of like. A concert, but with poems instead of songs, think Hip-hop meets the beat poets. You know, Ginsburg and Keroack.


[User] You know, in college, everybody goes through a rebellious phase.

[Assistant] You know how one time Alex locked herself in the bathroom when I kick the door down. That's what all the fuss is about. An earring.


[User] Miss Harbottle, I couldn't have said it better myself.

[Assistant] I think that was what you said. and what I said was


[User] you just left things alone if you hadn't gotten to valeriesthen I wouldn't have gone and Tosha wouldn't have gotten introuble and there never would have been a trial.

[Assistant] then what looks,huh,you would still be havingsome secret affair with your teacherbecause that is so not okay.


[User] then what looks,huh,you would still be havingsome secret affair with your teacherbecause that is so not okay.

[Assistant] what is not okay? that he was there for me when you weren't.where the hell have you been?he is the one who helped me in school.he is the one figured there was something


[User] what is not okay? that he was there for me when you weren't.where the hell have you been?he is the one who helped me in school.he is the one figured there was something

[Assistant] wrong with me, you know,something likes I have been trying to help you.I have been trying to be here for you.


[User] wrong with me, you know,something likes I have been trying to help you.I have been trying to be here for you.

[Assistant] I'm trying to dobaby, prove the place. like a crazy personmaniacally trying to protect this unborn kidbecause you feel guilty that you couldn't protect him.


[User] I'm trying to dobaby, prove the place. like a crazy personmaniacally trying to protect this unborn kidbecause you feel guilty that you couldn't protect him.

[Assistant] listen to me.I cannot apologize for this anymore. I am so sorrythat I wasn't there.


[User] I'll pass seeing as I'm not one hundred year old Southern lady. I finally saw the movie mean girls. I know I'm a middle-aged man. How did I wait so long? The point is, I realized I have a mean girl in my life, Jay, like last week at this wedding, I'm rock in my moonwalk and Jls. Hey, look, it's MichaelJer.Kson. Enough's. How do you get a mean girl to stop being a mean girl? be mean Gurley or?

[Assistant] No, no, no, no. You're going to love it. Mint chalets are all the rage.


[User] And that's I.

[Assistant] Yes, not I, Jessica.


[User] Yes, not I, Jessica.

[Assistant] So you can have your party and your life.


[User] I already got rid of my dukati for the house.

[Assistant] But your course way older than mine. Okay, this doesn't make sense to keep.


[User] But your course way older than mine. Okay, this doesn't make sense to keep.

[Assistant] You think that the two cars we're going to own are a V, W bug in a minivan? And what will I drive to work? You know, I work with musicians at a recording studio, and I'm going to show up in either a little tiny vagina or a humongous vagina.


[User] How come whenever I disagree with something? Everybody jumps all over me. You're too bad. I'm sorry. You don't get it.

[Assistant] I don't get it. Kelly, I've been working in the system for over thirty.


[User] Do we need a piano? With a trunk with a nice slide set ofbungos<period>.

[Assistant] It's Carnival thinged. Carnivals have lively piano music.


[User] Probably, yes, yes.

[Assistant] Inside an eyecloth. I don't know, Lizzie, why was Hayden's coin in Lauren's room?


[User] When your little girl asked you for a pony ride in a bouncy house. What can you do?

[Assistant] Say no, you never got any of that when you were the boy, you got a piece of corn bread cake and a used toy. And if you were really good, you got the day off from chores and.


[User] Slave, a slave, wow.

[Assistant] Damn, my mom wants to fight one more person. I'm like, yo, my buses hope you got to take one more person. Spokesman.


[User] That concludes another episode of as the Nerd Terms.

[Assistant] Class, we have a new student with us. Say hello to Albert.


[User] More like Robert Pash when Dennis Johnson showed up, who's Larry Doby?

[Assistant] Was the second black man in baseball? But he was taller than Jackie. And more. Strapping.


[User] I thought him. the poll roller me would help me.

[Assistant] It would probably help more if you threaten to knock somebody's teeth out.


[User] It would probably help more if you threaten to knock somebody's teeth out.

[Assistant] That's okay. We won't be able to do that to town hall meeting. I may not be able not to go out, but I know I can answer some questions.


[User] No, I'm naughty. Why did you bring me here? Is it because I'm not Latin enough? Is it because I dyed my hair?

[Assistant] Why no? I brought you here because I love it. I wanted to share it with you.


[User] Didn't you show me a picture of your kitten, yeah.

[Assistant] That was just a party. Look, I grew up with Stefan, Lena. I didn't eat Chiros or Dante Flamingo.


[User] Goes on their skin.

[Assistant] Don't do that. See, this is what I mean. This isn't me. I don't have any connection to any of this. I don't know.


[User] Yeah, I know you have a relationship, but, you know, it might just be that I know more about Jasmine than you, okay?

[Assistant] He doesn't want to be with you. She said it's not going to happen.


[User] You can't drink on your medication.

[Assistant] I know. you know what? I just wanted to hold this to make other people feel comfortable because I don't want them to think. So anyway, so you go to me to go on, Everything's fine. You look beautiful. Thank you. I love you.


[User] it was 15 years ago.

[Assistant] still happened.Bo.who knows the kind of relationship I could have with himif he was right?


[User] you know what?I'll see in two days when you pick the kids up. but.ah, I'm time for this.

[Assistant] it's 4:57 and I have the kids until 5,so I'm not going anywhere just yet.hey,who wants to play catch for 3 minutes.


[User] I know. That's why it took so long. and I love it. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about Deborah S birthday.

[Assistant] Oh my God. Talk about birthdays, your birthday gift to me finally came this morning. And did you know you sent me a box of pairs? Yeah, I'm a place called Fruit of the.


[User] That's right, that's right. How are they?

[Assistant] Oh, they're very nice pears. But there's so many of them. There are over a dozen paths. What am I supposed to do with all those?


[User] But I think you're supposed to eat.

[Assistant] Myself, yeah.


[User] You, you and dad and robber.

[Assistant] How many paths can rub it in? You don't. Look, I appreciate the thought. Raymond, please don't ever send us any more food again, okay?


[User] Frank Dundonia is the bird kingpin for all the Mexico.a quick in, quicked out. no one knows we're here.can you believe the size of these shrimp?

[Assistant] I mean,can you go grab me some extra napkins in case I get thetrots?


[User] What are you reading a bell for I?

[Assistant] Why you let me go, oh?


[User] Why you let me go, oh?

[Assistant] Pedal, look, look where you're going. Look where you're.


[User] Pedal, look, look where you're going. Look where you're.

[Assistant] Ah, kill you.


[User] But I'm the customer was being right.

[Assistant] Know what? Obviously, I'm mistaken. Paul, what's up? You are right. It is empty.


[User] it was a kiss.I thought we were going on somewhere. I thought you liked me.no,

[Assistant] not in that way.


[User] are you a home? my aging is me.you've been coming on to me for weeks now, Madeline.

[Assistant] me coming on to you?yeah. I've been doing but nothing but telling you.


[User] telling me what? have you told me what?

[Assistant] telling you with, with,with signs and,and words that, that wouldn't hurt your feelings,that I'm not into you that way.Laura,


[User] telling you with, with,with signs and,and words that, that wouldn't hurt your feelings,that I'm not into you that way.Laura,

[Assistant] you're thinking, can you call him down and just not act,act like you're not at least partly responsible for this?laying on the bed with me,snuggling. oh, is that what you call it?because your breasts were pushed up against me.and don't say they weren't.


[User] you're thinking, can you call him down and just not act,act like you're not at least partly responsible for this?laying on the bed with me,snuggling. oh, is that what you call it?because your breasts were pushed up against me.and don't say they weren't.

[Assistant] oh, my God, that wasn't intentional.what am I supposed to do with them?they're out front. it doesn't mean anything.


[User] you need to grow up.this is unhealthy.

[Assistant] oh, and fucking somebody 40 years younger is 40.


[User] Is not radiating evil. Oh, that is warm. Oh.

[Assistant] What was that? faulty wiring field?


[User] Cucumber water using this skin just happens.

[Assistant] Okay, okay. The sellers were on their way home. Let's just put everything back the way we found it. Maybe swing by a church. Jump.


[User] Dad, do me a favor. Don't come over and make up stories to Ali.

[Assistant] Come on, I'm, I'm a grandfather. That's what I do. I tell stories. It's in the manual for.


[User] You know how much it meant to me to have a Mickey mammal? and and what did you do? You brought home a fake.

[Assistant] What, what was I supposed to do? I didn't know Mickey Mannell. And you wanted his autograph. So I went back for five games and I stood by the stadium door and Mantle never came out and.


[User] Because he's Robert.

[Assistant] Because his brother sold him down the river for his own glory.


[User] I'm sorry. We not all endowed, you know, naturally, like you are.

[Assistant] Okay, I have a real crisis at home to deal with. My parents are splitting up so.


[User] Okay, I have a real crisis at home to deal with. My parents are splitting up so.

[Assistant] No, oh, oh my God. Um, so.


[User] just make the call.

[Assistant] I don't feel that I know him well enough to call him.how far is this gonna go, Bill?


[User] I don't think so, brother.

[Assistant] last month I made $2 million on Cahill Metals in one hour,


[User] last month I made $2 million on Cahill Metals in one hour,

[Assistant] 2 million.I made 4 million off the Montreal Lux back in February.that stock tripled overnight.


[User] 2 million.I made 4 million off the Montreal Lux back in February.that stock tripled overnight.

[Assistant] what's up, 4 million? ah, that's adorable. how about this?6 million I just cleared on Riphy and Micro device. oh, yeah.


[User] what do you think my boy here made on Piper Web Systems

[Assistant] for this guy right here?uh huh.I don't know. a pack of two. income in your sister's panties.


[User] Chemistry, oh, look, Robert's not ready for chemistry. Okay, you could blow up now. He's still gun-shy from his divorce.

[Assistant] But it's been a year since his wife left him.


[User] No, no, no. This is not. Okay, It's going back.

[Assistant] What easier? they could pick One thing.


[User] This isn't picking, it's looting and it's going back.

[Assistant] You are so mean. When Martin used to look through those binoculars and say your dad's one lucky man, he was wrong. Hi, Ali, hi, Steph, Sam, this is Manny. What's that? Do kitchens over there and pulls in the back. So where are your parents?  You're not coming. I was told there would be a chaperone there. Is it to you? My parents are totally fine with it. Well. Exits firex Seymour sure burn kit.


[User] Is it new?

[Assistant] No, it's like old. It's really old. It was my mom's favorite game from when she was a girl. I told her you wouldn't get it.


[User] And how did that go over?

[Assistant] He was great about it, actually. And I've been thinking. I want to keep this horse. I want finish.


[User] Who do you think you are? How do you?

[Assistant] What do you mean I'm being supported?


[User] What do you mean I'm being supported?

[Assistant] You grovel for my job.


[User] You grovel for my job.

[Assistant] Not for long, I just. Charlotte is a very reasonable person. I just told her that pizza.


[User] I'm fine.

[Assistant] You're not fine here, here. Can we talk about this, At least?


[User] Cause I work here, oh.

[Assistant] You worked here, but you're free to file unemployment, which you get. If I paid you, which I didn't, Sorry, I'm a horrible boss. You can leave me now.


[User] So what? you're firing me.

[Assistant] No, I'm letting you off the hook. You don't have to feel sorry for me or this inn or the pink towels, which you're probably still in there being used as betting for the termites. We can go back to being busy and important and. Remember me fondly after I'm gone?


[User] You're not dying.

[Assistant] Who knows? Maybe I'll be condemned next, next. I'm sorry. I know. I'm Sparling. I just, I didn't plan for any of this.


[User] Who knows? Maybe I'll be condemned next, next. I'm sorry. I know. I'm Sparling. I just, I didn't plan for any of this.

[Assistant] Well, neither did die. But an inn is just an inn. So that's not what's important to me.


[User] A? It wouldn't kill you to be nice to do and.

[Assistant] Might. What, honey? I don't know why you always stick up for him. Hell, I can do so much better.


[User] All right, you're right, I. Make more of an effort.

[Assistant] That's the woman I love. We take a little break over here, Lindsey Park. Oh, sorry. I was just talking to Bossy. Um, I'm sorry.


[User] She's a girl in my history class. We like to play six degrees of Sir Francis Bacon.

[Assistant] She just tossed a woman aside that immediately you go to the next one.


[User] Well, it's getting people through the door.

[Assistant] Angry and upset people. Jess, I'm gonna be running a business before I even have a business.


[User] This is Jan. Was your Tv broken? Of course not.

[Assistant] Look, see, I tape down the scan button. Now, when I'm flipping channels, I don't have to move.


[User] Close to darkest. It's not fair. He wanted to buy Ibm because he thought it was funny to say.

[Assistant] Well, I'm glad that you lost fake money has changed you. Where is the money that used to stop to smell the roses?


[User] Took a bath on a solar startup in San Jose.

[Assistant] You have been so busy bearing your face on your phone that you barely said hello to your family you gave. We need a poo that calls shoulder and you haven't even noticed that pretty girl in the blue elephant that has been smiling at you.


[User] I remember. Dan, please stop.

[Assistant] I had a sardine sandwich with. Onions and mayonnaise. And it was warm, I recall.


[User] Good, good. because it shouldn't. You're just trying to make a difference if those kids don't appreciate that, that is their loss.

[Assistant] And. It's part of a big steam operation. What So I shouldn't be telling you this. But Shane, the guy who shot the video. Is actually. And. Yeah, and he did the video to sort of like humiliate me to get some street creed. and there's a big drug deal going on to night. But he wants me to steer clear.


[User] Private life is private.  Ray never talks about her private life.

[Assistant] Are you kidding?


[User] Are you kidding?

[Assistant] Maybe I should just pull your permit.


[User] Maybe I should just pull your permit.

[Assistant] Honestly, you can't trust anyone nowadays. I know.


[User] Cameron. If she were a hot guy, I would never have been that smooth. It's ironic. Like the gift of the vagi and.

[Assistant] Here we go.


[User] Everybody take it easy. Let's just take it easy.

[Assistant] Please stay out of this. This is between me. and Randall doesn't have anything to do with you right now.


[User] I understand that. But can you understand where he screams?

[Assistant] Sit back down. All right.


[User] I'm not going to sit down.

[Assistant] Okay, this is not a big three moment.


[User] Okay, this is not a big three moment.

[Assistant] I know that, but he's my.


[User] I know that, but he's my.

[Assistant] And it's also my husband.


[User] All my favorites.

[Assistant] Serious, I mean. God forbid it. if someone should die. I mean, what? If you would've died. Everyone would be here. And imagined them up in that messy closet, trying to pick out something for you to wear it. Mom, and then afterwards, they'll want to take close. Your drawers should be very neat so they can look through and see what they like.


[User] So how will she die?

[Assistant] No, the thing is, you want to be remembered as a beautiful, clean person.


[User] What would they have to do with?

[Assistant] Just what she wants us to do, whoa. Did you guys both wake up on the wrong side of bed this morning?


[User] Ah, you want to be in that box? dead without ever making up with an alga?

[Assistant] How come on in the box and not her?


[User] Oh, I wash them all and put them.

[Assistant] You wash my brushes. Yeah, you can wash my brushes. You have to be in a certain way, Sarah. Oh, and and what happened to my little rock that was under my chair.


[User] Oh, that was filthy. It was covered in paint, splotches, paints, blocks.

[Assistant] I'm a painter. I use paint. paint makes blushes.


[User] I'm a painter. I use paint. paint makes blushes.

[Assistant] Sarah, why are you so sad?


[User] My Picasso book, It was a completely marked. Where is it?

[Assistant] I put all the books back on the shelf. You know, they were everywhere. You know, I found a half eaten hot pocket behind this question.


[User] That's my lucky cup. I got it. the day I took Cooper Disneyland. The next day I saw five paintings. You can just come in here and clean everything up when you want.

[Assistant] That's why you're freaking out. You're superstitious about tonight. Listen, everything is going to be great. Your paintings are beautiful.


[User] That's why you're freaking out. You're superstitious about tonight. Listen, everything is going to be great. Your paintings are beautiful.

[Assistant] I'm not superstitious, Sarah. I'm just going back to the gallery. You should never have done this without asking me. You should never have done this.


[User] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Assistant] Tutu grandeur Miko de John.


[User] No, no, we're not friends. I just, I have the photograph. That's a Solomon to own a photography.

[Assistant] Like Jupiter, Louis. My year's on Tickle. Like I said, Johnny, Maggie colour, she said to me, let me know.


[User] Wow, thank you. Hey, I'm sure he would like you too.

[Assistant] Yeah.  No, give it to the book you. Oh, Raf La.


[User] Yeah.  No, give it to the book you. Oh, Raf La.

[Assistant] Ah, you don't bother me. It's okay. I'm all right.


[User] Ah, you don't bother me. It's okay. I'm all right.

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, love. All the hey, love all around.


[User] You kiss Gord.

[Assistant] Yes, I did. My boss happened. Adam's boss. the boss. You know, he was sexy and appealing. and he's got the hair that's like slip back, except the when it flops forward. I was powerless to stop myself. He made me feel smart. He made me feel like I was doing a good job. He, he made me feel like for a minute, maybe I could be with the successful good looking guy.


[User] I don't know. You asking me?

[Assistant] If I asked you, would you go?


[User] my father said he'd pay for it.

[Assistant] your father paying for my son's birthday party?no way. is your father paying? absolutely not.this party will be held here in our house.houses, backyard or it won't be held at all. period.thisimmediate family.immediate family 10. end of discussion.and I'd leave your father off the list of I were you.you understand


[User] because I say so is why.and I don't want you spending so much time there,always running back and forth anymore.but it's my family. I don't care.

[Assistant] why are you fighting with my father?


[User] Would you like to hear what I now notice about you?

[Assistant] Frank, oh boy. Yeah, yeah. I'm fat and bald, remote.


[User] Frank, oh boy. Yeah, yeah. I'm fat and bald, remote.

[Assistant] That's not what I was going to say. I don't care about looks I'm with you are and I. I'm talking about what's inside.


[User] Frank, oh, cheese.

[Assistant] That's right. The total lack of communication, the total disregard for me as a human being. it's been this way for forty five years. I mean, God forbid you should pay any attention to me or show me even in the slightest possible way that you have any feelings for me at all, you.


[User] Oh yeah.

[Assistant] Maybe I won't, Frank. now that I see I'm in a loveless marriage.


[User] Told her she had to audition.

[Assistant] You did, why?


[User] What do you mean my approvable? Why me?

[Assistant] The apron already knows. I'm nice. So you have to be the mean girl. It's not like you have to do anything just for yourself.


[User] Oh, don't say that to me. I know it's not a bar. You don't have to tell me it's not a bar. I know how to.

[Assistant] You're my little sister. Okay, this guy's a dog. cause I'm not good guy for you to get involved with, okay?


[User] You're my little sister. Okay, this guy's a dog. cause I'm not good guy for you to get involved with, okay?

[Assistant] For myself, I don't need your help.


[User] For myself, I don't need your help.

[Assistant] Your second day and the giant hanging out for an hour and a half.


[User] Your second day and the giant hanging out for an hour and a half.

[Assistant] President of the company, it was only seventyseven minutes. I don't even understand this. It just feels like you regret do doing this at all.


[User] You usually don't say that until after.

[Assistant] Now, I mean it, Ray, stay away from me. Oh God, I'm so hot.


[User] Could you get the kids, please?

[Assistant] All this discussion, we could have been done by now. Hi, I'm Ray, and I live here in Long Island with my wife, Deborah. She's great with the kids, the house, everything. Oh, I don't know how she does it all. We've got a daughter, alley and twin, two year old boys. It's not really about the kids. My parents live across the street. That's right. And my brother lives with them now. Not every family would go by on a conveyor belt for you, but mine would.


[User] I'm 35 years old. I wanna get marriedwhen I have kids and I want them to be black.

[Assistant] oh, yeah.you know, you can't just order that off a menu,right? well, yeah,


[User] He has two teeth and I've seen him eat a whole chicken. All right, I gotta.

[Assistant] Where's my hug? Hi, go, go save yourself.


[User] I know what they're like, Ray, the very nice people.

[Assistant] No. When we see them every other month, it's not the same.


[User] You know what I was thinking since you're going to be introducing, how do we run to the kitchen?

[Assistant] I'm gonna wing it. No worries. I can do that. I can't believe you got. I gotta come to my house well.


[User] jump on over. my God. what?hide.

[Assistant] hide. but where?


[User] I understand that you're upset.

[Assistant] You don't make us take the bat.


[User] See what? It's just what, Nathan?

[Assistant] Oh, it's just that he's a biter now. And I don't think there's any coming back from that.


[User] Yeah, listening. About that. Amy feels bad.

[Assistant] I don't know if she didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Look, I probably shouldn't be wearing a dress like that. worn it so many times I can imagine how many other people think I look trampy.


[User] All right, Looked up. I got a tiger.

[Assistant] Bugs me is that we're tramping. I mean, I know that draws it a little low cut, but Trampy looks like they're going out of their way to insult me. What is with these women? know they have bigger issues. And how about saying it to my face instead of going behind my back? You know, that is so damn underhanded. What kind of person does that they?


[User] Staff told me that. You had some concerns about. Except in the college fund.

[Assistant] You don't need to feel guilty. I don't need a constellation prize or, you know, a parting gift. I have my own plan, so I'm working to save up for college.


[User] Traded all right. now for a pack of cigarettes.

[Assistant] All right. I can see. I cut you on a bad day.


[User] Oh, it's every day.

[Assistant] Every day. How is it your wedding? I was there when you brought home your little girl, your twin boys.


[User] What's wrong with that?

[Assistant] Debris, movie. Yeah, the one with the, with the mother who has the disease and the, the daughter who learns to care about the mother who has the disease.


[User] I love that up smoothie. Yeah, okay. You're, you're really sweating. Just get a towel. Okay, you're acting weird. What's going on?

[Assistant] Okay, look, I just. Um, I'm excited about that hotel. I mean, there's a lot of Hollywood history there. You know, they said. The Little rascals used to have orgies there.


[User] That is an appalling thing for you to say.

[Assistant] Just because he's black doesn't mean that he likes basketball. He likes football. like the rest of us, okay? And you got to stop constantly separating him from Kevin and Kate. They are all like kids, okay?


[User] what are you doing calling me?

[Assistant] honey? it's an emergency. we've had a blackout down here.


[User] Mama,I have been accused of opening a secret account for papa.you tell me what's going on.

[Assistant] my food reserves are melting.the air,I,I,I can't breathe.I desperatelyneed you to go get a generator from your husband's storeand bring it to me ASAP.


[User] no,I'm being drug into the middle of all your criminal activity.are you eating in a bedding? papa,

[Assistant] please, I'm begging you, Nicky, I'm desperate. please,please go get me a generator.


[User] Six, three, thirty.

[Assistant] I'm the boss. Let's go, alright.


[User] it's just a trade show.

[Assistant] well, I don't care what you call it, it's still fun.I mean, I've never gotten to meet any of Bill's associates.as his wife before


[User] I think you're a,a natural.

[Assistant] it really means a lot to me that I'm able to pull this off.bell and I have two lovely boys. we're expecting a third.I didn't come from a very stable background,but I love hotels. I love motels, too.


[User] No, Sheila hasn't seen it.

[Assistant] You won't keep leaning long. A toddler will interfere with getting hammered and passing out in the park before eleven. I was last night with jasmine and grandfather.


[User] You won't keep leaning long. A toddler will interfere with getting hammered and passing out in the park before eleven. I was last night with jasmine and grandfather.

[Assistant] They've been together for years. He's married. She's married. Seems like it works out for everybody.


[User] Well, he could have called it. Here comes the proposal.

[Assistant] This is just the name of the next challenge. Steve is not proposing. The three of us must ride a tandem bike to the place where I'm the boss.


[User] get me out of here.I'm not having any sex.this is utterly witness. this is likegiving me a dirt bike helmet or a map of the French to us,

[Assistant] honey, does sex scary? of bloody course.


[User] I honestly hadn't heard.

[Assistant] Rides anyway as part of the selection process for the major Tv show you didn't know I was up for. I have to present a scissor real. So is it cool if I have a videographer, just follow me around work.


[User] Cuppers the.

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a little naked angel. You know, he shoots yet. It's cute.


[User] It's a horrible motif.

[Assistant] But it's perfect. It can be flying around the room. Hey, you know, you could do, you could dress up the twins and you put little wings on their back makeup on the.


[User] But it's perfect. It can be flying around the room. Hey, you know, you could do, you could dress up the twins and you put little wings on their back makeup on the.

[Assistant] I stop it. No, it's not going to be Cupid. Flame.


[User] No, he hasn't done anything. I know he came to see you yesterday. Mhm, why did you turn away? I'm also a friend.

[Assistant] I love my son. And I will never stop loving him. But for an entire year, he can't be bothered to show his face. And then he shows up on drugs with excuses and lies. Nothing's changed.


[User] a slap on the wrist.Darington has to pick up trash on beaches.

[Assistant] that's the differencebetween white collar and black collar crimes.we're treated unfairly while we're freeand treated even worse while we're behind bars.


[User] that's the differencebetween white collar and black collar crimes.we're treated unfairly while we're freeand treated even worse while we're behind bars.

[Assistant] sowhy are you so mad at your wifefor trying to improve the life for your jail friend?look at that.we just had an entire discussion about black peoplewith no mention of slavery.this calls for a Celebration.Darington,you saw the wagon.if he isn't, well, no, he's an animal.


[User] I'm sorry,what is happening?

[Assistant] we're all in the same meditation class.oh, and this is Fiona.she's a model.will be Parker.thank you. clever as well.where are you?


[User] Jack Griffin is the finest man I've ever known. wow.the, the fact that he's even a bachelor is a crime.

[Assistant] and now am I twisting his arm? this is all him.


[User] It doesn't sound like Robert.

[Assistant] Thank you. I mean, Robert just lost a job because of this kind of discrimination. I mean, you can't not hire somebody because they have hard surgery. And look at Dick Cheney.


[User] Darrell, listen, you guys are going to visit each other. It's going to be great. it's.

[Assistant] Come on, Katie. Big whoop. You know, as well as I do, that absence does not make the heart grow fonder. It just makes you realize that you can live your lives without each other. And I don't know. Want to live my life without him? And now I'm going to cry again all over my spreadsheets. You know, when I cried in three meetings yesterday, one of them was to raise capital at a merchant bank. Maybe I just need to get my period.


[User] Why don't you go see them?

[Assistant] They ask me. But I want to be home, too. And anyway, I've got the contest. You know, I hate to break my winning streak. Although I think I got some competition this year.


[User] Oh my God.

[Assistant] I hate hearing those things. Deborah is like a daughter to me. And yet these men are my brothers. It's a pickle. I tell you that.


[User] Wave wave, what they say.

[Assistant] I'm not allowed. Don't you get it? I'm not supposed to tell you what goes on at the lodge and. It's the code of the caribou.


[User] Coffee on. I'd love to.

[Assistant] Christina, oh my God. The baby's eating the kiss letter.


[User] Christina, oh my God. The baby's eating the kiss letter.

[Assistant] That sounds good to stop. Thank you. What are you doing? That was so rude. boundaries. I have boundaries.


[User] Mother, please. Are you seriously still mad at robber?

[Assistant] Kidding, you know what? He completely misunderstood what I was saying? He accused me of hating your honesty and your outspokenness. I love that about you.


[User] Oh crap. The chain broke.

[Assistant] Just keep pedaling. It doesn't matter. It matters a little.


[User] Huh, must be some kind of a mistake. What the heck is?

[Assistant] What he didn't. Oh, we, oh. Beautiful, oh, sweetie, I love it.


[User] Yes, thank you. Is this like politician ski vier?

[Assistant] No, I mean, it is, but just enough. Actually, I was just worrying about what stupid thing I said that's going to make it on my post it.


[User] Hi, oh, hi. I'm sorry. So sorry. I was, I was about to knock on the door. I get the.

[Assistant] Not the door, were you not?


[User] Not the door, were you not?

[Assistant] Is the, I don't know. Store is the right door. This coming from the cat burglar outside my apartment.


[User] Is the, I don't know. Store is the right door. This coming from the cat burglar outside my apartment.

[Assistant] But Berglar work during the day. That's not scary.


[User] But Berglar work during the day. That's not scary.

[Assistant] I get a little freaked out in the daytime. I came by to return your reading material. No. I'm, I'm sorry. I should have called. I just, um. And son had. I don't know. Come by. It's not really any fun to talk about writing over the phone.


[User] Well, Frank, you never told me which market.

[Assistant] Any of them? Ever? I don't want anything to happen to you because I love you. So stop asking stupid fucking questions, Frank.


[User] And you should know better, officer.

[Assistant] Hey, listen, I don't know how you do things out here in the sticks. But in the city, cops look out for one another.


[User] I'm glad we had this conversation. It gave me a chance to notice your brother's inspection sticker. Now, I might just be a country bumpkin. Don't know much about all that book learning and fancy numbers, but near as I can figure, this looks like it's expired. I'll be right back with another little present for y'all.

[Assistant] Come on. Well, the good guys were brothers in blue. This is Rainbow Road for New York, Newsday and.


[User] We hate that guy.

[Assistant] So you were just toying with me getting me to beg for sex. That makes you feel good.


[User] So you were just toying with me getting me to beg for sex. That makes you feel good.

[Assistant] No, no, I don't know. I just. I guess I want to see what it was like to be the one being pursued for once.


[User] No, no, I don't know. I just. I guess I want to see what it was like to be the one being pursued for once.

[Assistant] You made me feel terrible about myself. He just kept rejecting me. How could you do that to somebody?


[User] Convinced I was a. Ugly old lady.

[Assistant] Well, now you know how I feel. I hope you feel back. and I turn you down. What, three times? Try to be rejected forty or fifty times every year for the last ten years. How do you think that feels? You're looking at the president of the fat, ugly old Lady's Globe? Welcome, have a donut?


[User] Well, now you know how I feel. I hope you feel back. and I turn you down. What, three times? Try to be rejected forty or fifty times every year for the last ten years. How do you think that feels? You're looking at the president of the fat, ugly old Lady's Globe? Welcome, have a donut?

[Assistant] There is no way I turn you down that much. And I say, yes a lot.


[User] There is no way I turn you down that much. And I say, yes a lot.

[Assistant] Exactly, you say yes. And you say no. The bouncer in front of the disco decides who gets in and who does it. and for what do with you standing outside? Yeah, and you couldn't take it. Yeah, it's called out there, isn't it? Standing in the, in the rain with your bad shirt and your acne, pimples and the.


[User] Just feel like you don't really trust me with her.

[Assistant] No. I do. It's just that I feel like I would like to know that you guys are going to save places that way. I wouldn't have to worry about eyes, baby, having nightmares about.


[User] Patty. Did you buy it for Steve?

[Assistant] No, okay. I bought it for myself. All right, It's pretty. And it's sexy. And I mean, I don't know what you want to think about me, but I'm a woman.


[User] We haven't really.

[Assistant] Okay, since you, you. Come to me now. No, we haven't. But since you're here, I do have some thoughts. So point number one. I'm. Mad at you.


[User] Tomato.

[Assistant] It's called the whole thing. Deliberately sabotage the act.


[User] I don't know. You make some kind of deal with him, but I do promise you his vote.

[Assistant] I don't have. Control over his votes. Why don't you give me some credit for how hard I work around here?


[User] You made an alliance.

[Assistant] Homes, you think I'm in bed with Ryan Lafferty?


[User] Wow, not even. I would go there, Holly. But now that you mention it, I wouldn't put it past you.

[Assistant] You are upset. I understand your husband is remarried. I would be upset to.


[User] Donkey, donkey here.

[Assistant] Okay, thank. Okay, there you go. Moo. But it's a dog. Yeah, I know. That's why it's funny. I don't think it's as funny as you think it is. Can we please just call your sister? No, no, cam cam. why so to be all judgmental and condescending? Like she's the expert and I don't know how to take care of a baby, Mitchell. She is your family. Of course, she's going to be judgmental and condescending.


[User] I would wait for that all day.

[Assistant] Oh, look at those legs all the way to the floor.


[User] So am I? It makes it more exciting.

[Assistant] No, I can hear you.


[User] No, I can hear you.

[Assistant] The only thing that still works on her is the ears. So, but.


[User] I, I assure there's no C.

[Assistant] Well, now I'm not. Give me a pen. I got to write this down. Mmhmm. Right? None of this looks right.


[User] and you sure gone and screwed up your life.you were on the pants to being a somebody.

[Assistant] well, Ned, I believe I'm on my true path.have you seen Ben anywhere?


[User] But hold on that. He's a court ordered.

[Assistant] I don't give a damn on a cold order, Randall. I am done letting that woman hurt.


[User] Where you have nothing to be guilty of, you didn't do any.

[Assistant] I did, I did. I had a rally against my parents in my own. Didn't you see that? They were really hurt? I can tell, by the way, my mother was rolling with the Vcr.


[User] Right, you've got nothing to feel guilty for. You didn't do anything. As a matter of fact, you were defending them.

[Assistant] Ah, that doesn't matter. Guilt is just a way of life for me. I was trained by Masters. My mother, my father. Pope.


[User] Pray. I found a hair.

[Assistant] All right, what times? Why, why? why loudly swayed that hair must have been very loose.


[User] Ok, it's Ok. I threw the whole thing out before it ever touched me.

[Assistant] Do I discuss you? I discussed you no more. No, no, no.


[User] Wait a minute. I already found my birthday gift underneath his bed. It's a giant hat. When the hats came back in.

[Assistant] Anyway, she's reaching under the poncho like she's gonna shoot Rinaldo. He's the main character, right? That's he.


[User] There's my purse.

[Assistant] They might have found biggie's kill it. They looked inside my mother's purse.


[User] what do we really know about him? okay.all I know is that his name is Joe Perry.and if my mom marries him, my name will be Katie Perry.

[Assistant] you know that's not how it works, right?oh, okay. so he volunteers.he takes lots of pictures of his dog and he runs Sun Case.oh, see fralloween. he just as dog as a panda. wait.exactly.


[User] Maybe just don't feel good about working with this family.

[Assistant] If I'm going to be spending close close to a thousand dollars.


[User] Fine, I knew we should have gotten here sooner, but no, I had to be a good person. I had to carry that toursa man on the skateboard up the subway stairs.

[Assistant] For Sot and a doughnut, those things already existed. Where is all the fanfare? When I combined the sleeping pill with the morning after pill and called it to sleep through the morning after pill?


[User] For Sot and a doughnut, those things already existed. Where is all the fanfare? When I combined the sleeping pill with the morning after pill and called it to sleep through the morning after pill?

[Assistant] Get so popular.


[User] Get so popular.

[Assistant] There's no science to this trend stuff. It's all decided by one bitchy gay guy typing in his room, making it all up.


[User] what is it?one of Vegas properties is bankrupt. the Buenos Aires one.

[Assistant] what do you want me to say, Harvey?yes, you got me. I screwed you.


[User] I totally get that. You need to pay for your daughter's education.

[Assistant] Thank you. Oh my God, because.


[User] You can't. That's the beauty of having a brother. Me and my brother was singing each other all the time, you know? What's going on? Fat boy? Nothing lets jackass, you know things of that nature. It's, it's how brothers express love.

[Assistant] Shotgun sucker.


[User] That's my routine. Wash face, comb, hair, brush teeth. scrape tongue. You never know when that blue moon is going to pop up.

[Assistant] But you're getting in the way of my routine.


[User] Heard about amazing. Oh my God. Yeah, this sounds amazing. We have to go.

[Assistant] We totally have to go. It's okay. Had a school night. It's because it's a school night. Oh no.


[User] Who are you? When did you become so cynical and hardhearted that you would leave that boy in jail?

[Assistant] When any fool would know that he didn't break in.


[User] When any fool would know that he didn't break in.

[Assistant] To the restaurant for the money. he's all alone in the world. He doesn't have anyone to take care of him. He broke into the restaurant, hoping that you would find him and help him out. And Justin, Justin, if you want to save your marriage, you have to start acting like a husband. A good husband takes care of his wife's family even when she can't.


[User] To even know who makes license plates? J prisoners? Are you going to take the word of a convicted felon over your wife's?

[Assistant] Makes no sense. Exactly what is your problem? Don't you see what this is doing to me? I need to know that you can admit when you made a mistake. I know there's good news, Gloria.


[User] well, I bet that pay cut hurt a lot.

[Assistant] well,now we're called back here for the area presidency and it,and it wasn't a good time to sell a houseback in San Antonio.we have such dreams of service for our church.please don't take that from usor from our children. art,


[User] oh, please, Cindy,

[Assistant] I'm sorry that you can't see beyond your own self interest.I'm sorry that you can't see fit to feel compassionfor someone else.honey,we're leaving. we have to go home now.


[User] I don't want to talk about that.

[Assistant] I know, I know the West. Fuck. It was a, it was a bad gift to give you. and I want to apologize.


[User] Next, next, how's business?

[Assistant] Not good. No, most of my customer base is still in Pennsylvania and they can't get their moms to drive him. I'm so excited. You're here. Come on in. Yeah, this is terrific.


[User] Why would I send her a birthday card?

[Assistant] The question is, why can't you write love, Claire? I write love Gloria. I even thought that I with a huge heart. I tell you that I love you. And you say me too, Why? why can you tell me that you love me?


[User] The question is, why can't you write love, Claire? I write love Gloria. I even thought that I with a huge heart. I tell you that I love you. And you say me too, Why? why can you tell me that you love me?

[Assistant] I don't know why. I can't tell you that. I, there was a time when I wanted to. And then the moment passed and time went by. and then it just felt forced. Do you? You say it all the time? One could argue that dilutes it.


[User] Will tell me winner.

[Assistant] It's not important. Okay, and you don't have to make fun of my family all the time.


[User] You have to wear. How did you know where my team did?

[Assistant] Your mileage as you all. Wow, so they have the same technology as the Nikes did five years ago. That's amazing. How do you have to do that? I make in a presentation. Can I just present? All right. I present old four son. I am.


[User] Ali, what's going on with mask?

[Assistant] Nothing. I hate mister Putin.


[User] I feel like there's pressure. It's like we're screwed before we even get out of the gate.

[Assistant] Okay, that's fine. But let's do it Thursday night night, honey, some crazy week.


[User] It's all happening so fast. I mean, one minute I'm dating Walter in the next. I'm kissing Miko in the rain.

[Assistant] I think we're in our own Rom coms. You are Julia Roberts. And I'm Meg Ryan. Don't fight me on.


[User] Oh, honey, don't worry, Mommy is going to be out soon. Don't panic. Wait a minute. What do you mean you're not going to that party, young lady?

[Assistant] I'm not going to the party. I'm just going downstairs. With your purse. Come on. Just covered for me this one time and I. I'll drive you wherever you want. I want to go to the Museum of Tolerance. Fine, How far is tolerance?


[User] I'm not going to the party. I'm just going downstairs. With your purse. Come on. Just covered for me this one time and I. I'll drive you wherever you want. I want to go to the Museum of Tolerance. Fine, How far is tolerance?

[Assistant] You know, two of you scheming out there. Don't you dare leave this house.


[User] You know, two of you scheming out there. Don't you dare leave this house.

[Assistant] Just cycle control free.


[User] Look, you know it just for that. You were grounded one week.

[Assistant] Oh, that's good parenting, okay?


[User] Oh, that's good parenting, okay?

[Assistant] Two weeks. Want to double it? Keep talking.


[User] Judy, what in the world has that man been putting in your head?

[Assistant] Nothing, daddy. Ok, Nothing that wasn't already in there. because guess what? I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm a woman.


[User] Are you kidding me? Come on. I'm reading all the books on pregnancy. I can find she's in great hands.

[Assistant] I can't wait to show Mommy. You have a great rider. I am.


[User] Nice to be swllow.

[Assistant] You know, you're not, um. Near no longer my most annoying tenant.


[User] That's not fair. Missus Deichmann has multiple pets in a catfree building.

[Assistant] Out of a site. Oh, you're kidding me.


[User] Yeah, it's official. Whats you're slum more, no.

[Assistant] Nothing to do with this. This has to be because of the heaters. Oh, this has got to be specific to your apartment.


[User] Oh God, why are you crying? Did you just win the weirdest beauty pageant ever?

[Assistant] Promises kept Mitchell a hundred and eighty buns of roses, and I just watched. The most beautiful love story between boy and Alien and I. Why can't the world have the hearts of children?


[User] They have schools in Grasshopper.

[Assistant] Do they? Uh, plus lovely has so many friends here.


[User] Kicking Berliner.

[Assistant] I can't do that. You know how much Dj loves to win and how much I hate to be around her when she loses. I mean, in theory, I've never actually seen it.


[User] Dad, well, I, I. Um, to do something nice.

[Assistant] Nice. That's more than I paid for my first car. Next year, why didn't you get me a coffee mug that says I make more than you? And if I want a fish tank, I'll get my own damn fish tank.


[User] Nice. That's more than I paid for my first car. Next year, why didn't you get me a coffee mug that says I make more than you? And if I want a fish tank, I'll get my own damn fish tank.

[Assistant] I know you can, dad, but then it wouldn't be a gift.


[User] I know you can, dad, but then it wouldn't be a gift.

[Assistant] You know what's in the least gift? I'll tell you one of those magnetic coin holders for your car. A dollar fifty in any car wash. That's a nice thing for a sign to give a papa.


[User] Come on. I look, I make a good living. I can afford to buy you there.

[Assistant] I know. Okay, I know.


[User] That seems to be working. You're blushing.

[Assistant] I'm not blushing. I'm flushed. I'm double flushed. like your toilets and your budget, which is giving me a massive headache. Hello.


[User] I know Berkeley. I get it, mom.

[Assistant] I'm just saying it's, you know, with the great interview, your relationship with Carly, That's why you only applied one other place, mom.


[User] Smart and loyal and charming and sweet and loving and comfortable.

[Assistant] The thing is that. I'm half white. So if we go with a donor who is also white, then the baby might not end up looking like me at all that, that it has. No, no, no, no.


[User] I was, but only because my patient needed some fresh air. He was worried about some biopsy results.

[Assistant] He has to worry. Five stories high. Come on. I can't have my daughter brazenly breaking protocol, no.


[User] Since my grandfather passed away, my grandmother had a lot of free time on her hands and she was giving it to my mother and.

[Assistant] Baby. That's not the way to do that. But I do it this way all the time. But the way you do it is wrong. Go ahead. Sit on. And I do it. Go ahead, I'll do it.


[User] Oh, so sorry, sir. I don't understand this. This is working.

[Assistant] This is not the part of my life that is supposed to be working. I moved here to take care of my family and I'm doing a terrible job, Sil. I'm sorry, but for now, I just, I can't think of anything else to do.


[User] Oh dear. What are they saying?

[Assistant] Everyone's going around calling each other pool boy.


[User] I don't know. It's good, I guess.

[Assistant] Still, it's a ten minute drive. You gotta shut this down, right? How are they gonna pull it off?


[User] Still, it's a ten minute drive. You gotta shut this down, right? How are they gonna pull it off?

[Assistant] It's already started to plan it like a big throwdown laying out the new water. and then and everybody's equal love all around peace and harmony.


[User] That was stupid brush. You can't overthrow Marie. Besides, anytime you cut the head off something, the body still runs around by itself. All praise like this.

[Assistant] I know. I know. That's why I am asking. I don't know what to do. What do you think we should do?


[User] First day in the morning. Yeah, how are we going to survive the night?

[Assistant] Ah, the, the, uh, the extra blanket blanket.


[User] It's raising. Yes, yes.

[Assistant] I understand. I mean, it's California. Come on, guys. We can all just love raising. I need it. I need you. Look at something in my part of the discussion. Yeah, please. Alright, I've got another problem. I'm so sorry. I, I'm sorry. I'm sorry's tell me that's true. It is not birthday. What is going wrong in here? Plumbing again.


[User] And to just tell her to.

[Assistant] You know what you could do, but. Novel. If you gobbled and she'll get bored and she'll just leave you alone.


[User] All right, so I should have done.

[Assistant] Is that it? That's your attitude. That's what you say. Go ahead, Doc. Cut that fat boy up.


[User] I understand that you're nervous, but this is a very common procedure, and they don't cut you up. They go in through your mouth.

[Assistant] But I don't like people going through my mouth.


[User] Yeah, because you think mom's going to take the insurance money and buy everyone a pony?

[Assistant] Your throat hurts, doesn't it? no?


[User] Your throat hurts, doesn't it? no?

[Assistant] No, look, I want a second opinion. Opinion, those doctors, they just want money. I don't trust them. I want an expert.


[User] I know, I know what.

[Assistant] Oh, don't get too overworked, Ray. Oh, let Ray relax. He just had an episode.


[User] where are they?

[Assistant] I don't have them. I gave them to the poor.


[User] I don't have them. I gave them to the poor.

[Assistant] you took them from the poorand the poor wants them back.


[User] you took them from the poorand the poor wants them back.

[Assistant] well,it's too late. I put them in the Salvation Army donation bin.


[User] well,it's too late. I put them in the Salvation Army donation bin.

[Assistant] well, get up. you're going to the army, bitch.


[User] well, get up. you're going to the army, bitch.

[Assistant] why?why are we here in the middle of the night? what are we doing?


[User] there it is. come on, follow me,

[Assistant] Max, is this where you kill me?cause I always knew it was gonna happen.I just didn't know when.this feels right, though.


[User] Max, is this where you kill me?cause I always knew it was gonna happen.I just didn't know when.this feels right, though.

[Assistant] I should kill you. those sheets were really special to me.okay.


[User] oh, did you lose your virginities on them?

[Assistant] I don't have sex and beds. that's where I eat.Caroline, I have a confession.


[User] Max, that's so sad.

[Assistant] of course it's sad. when has it ever been a happy tale?all right, I need to crawl in here


[User] of course it's sad. when has it ever been a happy tale?all right, I need to crawl in here

[Assistant] Max, you're just gonna crawl into that dirty box.we don't know where that bin's bin


[User] Max, you're just gonna crawl into that dirty box.we don't know where that bin's bin

[Assistant] and by the way,Dirty Box was my nickname and continuation school.I need help. would you rather step on your back? your head?


[User] I already did behind your back while we were walking here.

[Assistant] no, like this so I could step into it.you don't make a finger basket.


[User] Finger Basket. is that another nickname of yours?

[Assistant] no, but for one summer it could have been.forget this. just help me pull this stuff over,


[User] no, but for one summer it could have been.forget this. just help me pull this stuff over,

[Assistant] Max. I feel like we're not even acknowledging our low pointsanymore.okay, Max, now be very careful. and on the count ofwow, you could have been a great gymnast if you'd had money.coaches in a breast reduction.are you okay,Max?gonna need some voice contact.


[User] And then you need to go to your folks house and get the kids and take them shoe shopping.

[Assistant] Oh my God, what? We were just talking here.


[User] I like that. I like that. You want to be a better husband.

[Assistant] Yeah, but I want to do it gradually. Come on. How about, how about that? I'll let you cry. and I won't leave him. look in the window and I.


[User] Serial killers are ninety one percent male, fifty four white. Their average Iq is one hundred and thirteen, which is considered above average intelligence. You're white and male and smart. So you could be a serial kill.

[Assistant] I'm not a serial kilome max. Okay, okay. You've got to stop with all the stats and everything that's from the internet. You're on the internet way too much. Now. Wikipedia is unplugged once in a while. You should go outside your pale too. Get some sun.


[User] Actually, sounds good. Just say that we're going to see him for brunch in two hours over at your dads.

[Assistant] Ooh, that. Soon and and hard. What if? What if I blame it on you? What if we say that you're not okay with it?


[User] well,Ray's heck mother like you did

[Assistant] then, though,I lied.I. I campaigned so passionately for the equal rights men.you know that? well,


[User] Look at this, guys. running away.

[Assistant] Just gotta go move it.


[User] He's a criminal.

[Assistant] Just say and look at the moves on this guy. The Giants could use him.


[User] does this have something to do with your mom?

[Assistant] no, my mom doesn't know anything about it.


[User] Abby,what doesn't she know about?you have to tell me.you gotta let me in so we can face it together.

[Assistant] I wanna face it.I wanna stay here. but nobody cares about what I want.


[User] and if I don't help him find her,he's gonna put you in the children on the witness stand.

[Assistant] I can't do that.how he can't.


[User] this trial is a cesspooland it's pulling us in. no,

[Assistant] you've got to do something.I don't care what this is, Magnus.oh,these are our childrenand I won't let them be pawns in the hands of Roman Grant.


[User] you've got to do something.I don't care what this is, Magnus.oh,these are our childrenand I won't let them be pawns in the hands of Roman Grant.

[Assistant] I talked to Lee Hatcher. I'll figure something out.in the meantime, I'm doing everything I canas fast as I can to get our interested of Utah.but we've got a Titan belts.I'm pouring a lot of bunny into the casino.I mean, just that model loaded.


[User] stepping into the weekend like,

[Assistant] all right.no,no,no, no, no.cut,cut.this timeI want you to really make me believe that you're goinginto the weekend like you say you are.


[User] all right.no,no,no, no, no.cut,cut.this timeI want you to really make me believe that you're goinginto the weekend like you say you are.

[Assistant] okay.step into the weekend like,


[User] okay.step into the weekend like,

[Assistant] yeah, that's it, baby. haha. that's grandma baby.


[User] yeah, that's it, baby. haha. that's grandma baby.

[Assistant] seriously, guys,Jack is not funny.are we still on this?


[User] seriously, guys,Jack is not funny.are we still on this?

[Assistant] well, not only are we still on this,but grandmas decided to come out of retirementand help manage Jack's career.you know, I used to work with sendbag.hey,


[User] Wow, who knew? He talked to his wife.

[Assistant] You know what? I have been holding this in all day? There is no way that you are smarter than me.


[User] What is going on?

[Assistant] Ajin. Get to my car. Just wanna go.


[User] You're not driving, you're driving.

[Assistant] That's why. I know, please. A bounty. You're driving you stupid asshole, like.


[User] No matter what this case about me as a father, I am not gonna let you dry stone.

[Assistant] Ironic, but your Chun talked to me about drinking. Driving just back off. Okay, this is you and you're. Ask Lucy about being a father. All of a sudden, you want to take care of me. You don't know anything about me, man. Just just back off. You, you don't know anything. This is your thoughts anyway. Anyway, my thoughts.


[User] How do my fine? No advance going on.

[Assistant] Okay, because my dionce left me. And I loved him. And now he's gone, okay?


[User] That's not it, Chris. You just can't quit every time You don't like something. I mean, what if Miles Davis quit the trumpet?

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. yeah, I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What a baby can quit? Lucille, one of Paul robes and quit Domain River with no Cosby quit. Joe, what is mister Tea? Quit pity in the fool. What does Stevie quit? want to? What did Fat Albert quit? the cottage of kids? What if asked for? What if Michael Jackson quit doing the moon walk? What if Diana Ross quit the supreme?


[User] Save in a much of body.

[Assistant] Whoa, why should I grow?


[User] Please, everybody wants to touch those jeets. It looks like one of those babies that blow a cloud across the city of a church. So tell us, Dr Karen, what do you teach?

[Assistant] Well, the best way would be to show you why don't we find our legs?


[User] Yeah, you have a little bite there.

[Assistant] Oh, my man.


[User] If it's a little type.

[Assistant] But I can see where Manny gets his sock. Gans from.


[User] I don't know. He disappear when I was two. I haven't seen him since.

[Assistant] Twenty years later, Monk found his father on my space profile name, military Mike Tastic.


[User] Oh, that was because of the cheap food.

[Assistant] You never even sent a gift.


[User] You never even sent a gift.

[Assistant] My gift was that I came at all.


[User] My gift was that I came at all.

[Assistant] What kind of a horse's ass gift?


[User] You would be lucky to have a horse's ass.

[Assistant] Oh, wait, wait, wait. Let me see what you do.


[User] Why is it so awful that I want to know how it was for you out there? I mean, you will not talk to me about Iraq.

[Assistant] Because I don't want to tell you about it because there's the war. Then there's you. They don't make.


[User] Because I don't want to tell you about it because there's the war. Then there's you. They don't make.

[Assistant] As far as I'm concerned, there's you and there's me and there's everything in between. That's a real relation.


[User] I guess we don't have a real relationship.

[Assistant] Why, because I want to get to know the guy that I'm.


[User] Why, because I want to get to know the guy that I'm.

[Assistant] Here's a tip. The guy you're dating isn't nobody that guy, Anthony, his, his family thinks of some hero because I saved his life. You know whose life I didn't save that night. My friend Charlie. He got twenty feet away from me, Rebecca, twenty feet away from me. And so how am I supposed to look these kids in the eye that come into the center and convince them that this is where they need to go?


[User] Justin, it's not your fault. You're not responsible for the choices that other people make in their lives.

[Assistant] You're right. because I can't control my own life, Okay? because I'm a loser and I'm an addict. I still wake up here and I live with my mother. Okay, because I'm too messed up to worry about myfreakin'skill.


[User] We will go.

[Assistant] Oh, look what I just walked in.


[User] Please just don't be antagonistic.

[Assistant] Why are you taking his sigh? Just look. At the drawings that he sent over for the exterior, look at that. It's absurd.


[User] Objectivity is not paying the bills. I am, and it's too modern. It's, it's cold.

[Assistant] Okay, I admit that it might be a little unusual for a residential project, but I see what he's going for. I mean, the Asian vernacular and let's and all that light, it's. Meditative and calming.


[User] You well, and you too. I mean, your life.

[Assistant] No, no. Let's talk about you. Because, you know, you're. You chose the mother. You're the mummy. The yummy mommy, mommy. Uh-huh, yeah.


[User] Same as ever, right?

[Assistant] One difference. I'm one of the ambassadors.


[User] Okay, I screwed up. You know how my mom is coming for Thanksgiving? Well, last night, I sort of. Invited my father to.

[Assistant] What do you do in the divorce? You can't. If I don't have the same place anymore, they legally agree to not like each other.


[User] What do you do in the divorce? You can't. If I don't have the same place anymore, they legally agree to not like each other.

[Assistant] Was an accident. He told me he was going to be in Madagascar for Thanksgiving. So just to be nice, No, I said, oh, it's too bad. You can't come too. We're going to miss you and. And then last night, he called and said he put the whole trip off and he's coming.


[User] Was an accident. He told me he was going to be in Madagascar for Thanksgiving. So just to be nice, No, I said, oh, it's too bad. You can't come too. We're going to miss you and. And then last night, he called and said he put the whole trip off and he's coming.

[Assistant] Why are you nice?


[User] But your mom said that my mom could stay at your house and the kids will stay in one room. My dad will take our room and then.

[Assistant] Oh, you gave your dad my bed. The man sleeps naked and spoons the pillow and.


[User] I'll get the pillow out of there.

[Assistant] Get the man out of there.


[User] Get the man out of there.

[Assistant] That back, he means the firm mattress. And sorry, Ray, what can I do? Look, they are coming and we just have to both suffer through it.


[User] That back, he means the firm mattress. And sorry, Ray, what can I do? Look, they are coming and we just have to both suffer through it.

[Assistant] Yeah, by we, you mean me and my pillow? And by the way, you knew about this last night and all I got is, hey, cutie.


[User] No, no, no. As long as you're okay.

[Assistant] I am until Dad sees his house and Joey sees his car.


[User] Three o'clock. I need my bandage changed.

[Assistant] Ah, come in, mom.


[User] See, Zoom Just so, you know, I had a shift and I shifted it, right?

[Assistant] Amazing, do you want an award? maybe? Well, I'll, I'll work. I'll work.


[User] Not an act that she means it.

[Assistant] All right, all right. come on, maybe, Deborah. But she's nice. Why are you asking me these?


[User] Okay, when the kids go to college, I'll see a movie.

[Assistant] You don't have to wait if you want to go to the movies, go go to the movies. Go today if you want.


[User] Yeah, I'm going to go on Christmas.

[Assistant] Jewish people do. All right, then you go, go this weekend.


[User] Yeah, like that will.

[Assistant] I'm saying it'll happen. Go to the movies. Come on. I'll take care of the kid. I'll take care of everything. Come on. It'll make me feel better and. We want to get a Dvd player and golf. Niceness and you get. Part.


[User] If you give it to him, why don't you let me in?

[Assistant] You see, son, when your mother got pregnant with Robin, the hormones turned her into a nut case. She cried for no reason. two seconds late, and she won a cuddle. She was like demented it.


[User] That's not true.

[Assistant] Sure, it was. You were always grabbing at me.


[User] Sure, it was. You were always grabbing at me.

[Assistant] I was pregnant with a fourteen pound baby. I needed help getting up.


[User] I was pregnant with a fourteen pound baby. I needed help getting up.

[Assistant] Nonetheless, so. Did it bother me? No, because you cannot get upset with a crazy person. I decided from that day on to never waste time trying to understand your mother. I just accepted. She's insane.


[User] So what do you think? Should we take it for a test?

[Assistant] Okay. This is beta test one ready. No, no.


[User] Where's the paper?

[Assistant] Forget the paper. You're taking the kids to the park.


[User] Forget the paper. You're taking the kids to the park.

[Assistant] Whoa, whoa, whoa. When did that happen?


[User] Whoa, whoa, whoa. When did that happen?

[Assistant] Last night, she said you'd take the kids to the park so that I could clean up around here. and, you know, lay down for a few minutes today.


[User] When, when did I say that?

[Assistant] When you were watching your stupid, whatever show.


[User] I want an hour and a half and.

[Assistant] All right. But I'm back here in an hour and a half. You know, it includes travel time.


[User] All right. But I'm back here in an hour and a half. You know, it includes travel time.

[Assistant] Okay. Like what?


[User] Phil and I are at a little impasse.stop looking like that.

[Assistant] that's for Pete's sake. Barb,why don't we rip the Band Aid off right now?you and Bill are apparently through.we're all just sitting heretiptoeing around it. no,


[User] he did not walk out.and if he did,thank you very much,Nicky,inviting him in and giving him comfortinstead of sending him right back home where he belongsso we could work out our problems.

[Assistant] he's my husband, too, and he was upset.of course, I comforted him.I'm going down with the captain.while you two are deserting the sinking ship,you off to your new churchand Margy sailing away on our cruise to Africa.


[User] Marge leaving, me leaving,it's like a dream come true. Ben, Nikki,

[Assistant] that is so mean.all I've ever wanted is for you both to be happy.if you don't fix things with Bill,the next official wives meeting justmight be here in my dining room.


[User] dorante.

[Assistant] no.so you're still on that,huh?okay.well,you didn't say anything about the balloons or the streamersor the great idea I had to get him a smash cake,which he had a ball with,which you would have never thought of.


[User] why would I have thought of it? I never had one growing up.

[Assistant] of course you never had one growing up.what you would never allow to eat? sugar,flour,dairy or anything that produces joy and happiness.


[User] Um, one must be on that.

[Assistant] Solid choice. I mean, you won't believe how much of the stuff you have to put together. Not if it comes to.


[User] You should be on this.

[Assistant] I mean, it's for people with diabetes, but it could also work for a working mom on the go. You could put in baby wife's a pacifier.


[User] But you know what, mom? I think it's enough.

[Assistant] This is a monumental occasion.


[User] But she's not getting upset.

[Assistant] Oh no, no, that's just it. She has been treated me better all day. I came up this morning. She was making me a cheese omelette. I mean, she hasn't done that since before he was born. I mean, yeah, it had shells in it, but still. You know what I have discovered? The power of no.


[User] I'm sorry, excuse me, needy.

[Assistant] Why aren't they laughing, Mitchell? why aren't they clapping? when I'm pulling the handkerchief out of my mouth?


[User] Why aren't they laughing, Mitchell? why aren't they clapping? when I'm pulling the handkerchief out of my mouth?

[Assistant] It's ten feet long with box or shorts. at the end. It works on so many levels.


[User] Yes, it was. So. Can fiscal come to the party?

[Assistant] No, no, you are Lily's dad. Just be there as her dad.


[User] What do you mean you win?

[Assistant] I know you think I think you're not romantic, but I think you think I'm not mad at you. So now we know you are romantic and I'm smarter than you. And I bought you a motorcycle and.


[User] I know you think I think you're not romantic, but I think you think I'm not mad at you. So now we know you are romantic and I'm smarter than you. And I bought you a motorcycle and.

[Assistant] God is fantastic.


[User] God is fantastic.

[Assistant] I win again.


[User] I win again.

[Assistant] Honey, I love all this, but you can't win Valentine's Day. I mean, you defeat the whole idea if you make it into some silly competition.


[User] So because we don't have a dog, you never get your way.

[Assistant] Look around. everything in here is your decision, That lamp, that painting the flower drapes over the sake. I hate those drapes. Look at the one pad and the walls are totally different from Pat. And seriously, what were you thinking with those drapes?


[User] Yeah, well, maybe you need to listen better.

[Assistant] I need to listen better. I need to listen then.


[User] I need to listen better. I need to listen then.

[Assistant] Yes, yes. because I did say something. I said really those drinks. And what did you say? I believe you said. let me see if I remember. Oh, that's right. You said.


[User] Yes, yes. because I did say something. I said really those drinks. And what did you say? I believe you said. let me see if I remember. Oh, that's right. You said.

[Assistant] Well, that's because really those drapes doesn't help me. You see, you don't really want to be involved in the decision. You just want to reserve the right to complain about.


[User] Well, that's because really those drapes doesn't help me. You see, you don't really want to be involved in the decision. You just want to reserve the right to complain about.

[Assistant] No, no, You just don't want my opinion. How about with the couch? Remember, I picked out that really cool one with the three pop up on.


[User] That thing was atrocious.

[Assistant] It was perhaps the best couch ever.


[User] It was perhaps the best couch ever.

[Assistant] So that's your idea of decision making a dog named floppy and unlimited foot rest.


[User] Not a bad start.

[Assistant] I think you're forgetting that I already let you make decisions, Ray, and that you proceed to screw them up.


[User] To all the murderers and felons in the, in the building, probably probably.

[Assistant] Well, I leave it open. so I know, I don't really know that it's okay.


[User] Wow, that was great. You scanned them away with your peep show threat. All right. we got to remember that move. All right, listen. Listen. You, you always say that when we walk in a place together, the way I dress is a reflection on you. Well, well, it works the other way too, right?

[Assistant] What is wrong with how I dress?


[User] What is wrong with how I dress?

[Assistant] Why don't know it's? It's like you're advertising something that's not for sale.


[User] Why don't know it's? It's like you're advertising something that's not for sale.

[Assistant] What, because you own me, yeah.


[User] What, because you own me, yeah.

[Assistant] I know I. I owe you and you own me. That's marriage. All right. It's not my fault. You made a bad deal.


[User] I know I. I owe you and you own me. That's marriage. All right. It's not my fault. You made a bad deal.

[Assistant] So what you want me to go out in a parka and snow pants? No, oh, you want me to look good? but not too good. Yes, yes.


[User] So what you want me to go out in a parka and snow pants? No, oh, you want me to look good? but not too good. Yes, yes.

[Assistant] Oh, come on, Wait, we'll look at you. You're sexy. I mean, yeah, I could put on some finer clothes and maybe not wear so much food, but um, yeah. I'm still going to be this. You know, when we were going out, people would say, what's that hot girl doing with that nose with sneakers? Here we are with fifteen years later, and I'm still the same old guy. And you're dressing all hot and look at all great. And I don't know. But what are you looking for? Somebody in your own league?