[User] I thought that kid studied hard, I can tell you that.

[Assistant] The way they modified the dialogue and they call me johnny twenty three. I got johnny I got I got twenty three apples on my arm for for the twenty three candy bars I stole ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah 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ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah


[User] The way they modified the dialogue and they call me johnny twenty three. I got johnny I got I got twenty three apples on my arm for for the twenty three candy bars I stole ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah 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ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah 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ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

[Assistant] Whose decision was it to put on con air kindergarten edition


[User] Whose decision was it to put on con air kindergarten edition

[Assistant] Um man I love it, though. I absolutely love it.


[User] What was your favorite part? What was your favorite favorite part?

[Assistant] And and when when they cast that the little girl as as ving rhames' character I just lost it when it when I realized who she was supposed to be the the little girl with the pigtails


[User] And and when when they cast that the little girl as as ving rhames' character I just lost it when it when I realized who she was supposed to be the the little girl with the pigtails

[Assistant] What did she say, what did she say,


[User] When they when she you know the the scene in the movie where he's where he's holding the gun and what was the line it was it was something about the um something about the about the police

[Assistant] I'm going to catch you, coppa, or something like that.


[User] I'm going to catch you, coppa, or something like that.

[Assistant] Yeah. Ah ha ha ha ha that was just the cutest. Ah


[User] Yeah. Ah ha ha ha ha that was just the cutest. Ah

[Assistant] Just imagining this little kid with a bandage over his arm for the twenty three apples or the twenty three candy whatever it was and the little girl holding the gun it was so dramatic and for what purpose,


[User] Just imagining this little kid with a bandage over his arm for the twenty three apples or the twenty three candy whatever it was and the little girl holding the gun it was so dramatic and for what purpose,

[Assistant] And and the the way he played cyrus the virus oh, wow like that that kid he he's got he's got an acting career ahead of him like he he really no he really understood like what it means to play a villain like he that kid he really got into it ah


[User] And and the the way he played cyrus the virus oh, wow like that that kid he he's got he's got an acting career ahead of him like he he really no he really understood like what it means to play a villain like he that kid he really got into it ah

[Assistant] Did really get into it. I was kind of terrified just sitting on my chair.


[User] Did really get into it. I was kind of terrified just sitting on my chair.

[Assistant] Yeah wow oh and then and then the kid who played nicholas cage I said put the bunny back in the box. Like he the the accent he just really went for it.


[User] Yeah wow oh and then and then the kid who played nicholas cage I said put the bunny back in the box. Like he the the accent he just really went for it.

[Assistant] Some of these kids make stronger acting choices that i've seen in movies in a long time, I can tell you that did you did you did you like like the one where they took the plane and they gave it you know, because the turbulence of the plane, so they kind of shook the whole set. Do you like that part,


[User] Some of these kids make stronger acting choices that i've seen in movies in a long time, I can tell you that did you did you did you like like the one where they took the plane and they gave it you know, because the turbulence of the plane, so they kind of shook the whole set. Do you like that part,

[Assistant] So that's right there were some kids backstage whose job it was to just shake that thing.


[User] So that's right there were some kids backstage whose job it was to just shake that thing.

[Assistant] Little shop of horrors could never.


[User] Little shop of horrors could never.

[Assistant] And then and then the the scene at the beginning where they they have the the prison cell and and and and the yeah the the kid playing nicholas cage you know we're in in the movie when he's doing pull-ups and he and he's like and he's doing sit-ups he's like trisha trisha ah wow


[User] And then and then the the scene at the beginning where they they have the the prison cell and and and and the yeah the the kid playing nicholas cage you know we're in in the movie when he's doing pull-ups and he and he's like and he's doing sit-ups he's like trisha trisha ah wow

[Assistant] Oh my goodness, that was that was the funniest play i've ever seen. Honestly, i'd watch that again ten times over.


[User] 哈哈哈哈哈。

[Assistant] Always crazy, man.


[User] Always crazy, man.

[Assistant] Ah tina got so mad at us that night when we were remember when we were running through the fountain when I climbed over that fence and I ran through the fountain, tina's like, get out of there, what are you doing,


[User] Ah tina got so mad at us that night when we were remember when we were running through the fountain when I climbed over that fence and I ran through the fountain, tina's like, get out of there, what are you doing,

[Assistant] So crazy and then didn't you didn't you climb up on top of the fountain and like dance around like a little gremlin, like a little kobold or something


[User] So crazy and then didn't you didn't you climb up on top of the fountain and like dance around like a little gremlin, like a little kobold or something

[Assistant] I don't even remember what I was doing, but that sounds about right oh, and tina just about had a conniption


[User] I don't even remember what I was doing, but that sounds about right oh, and tina just about had a conniption

[Assistant] I forget was that before or after you took off all your clothes,


[User] I forget was that before or after you took off all your clothes,

[Assistant] A good question. I don't even know if i'm mad at,


[User] A good question. I don't even know if i'm mad at,

[Assistant] Oh my gosh, and then the tiger, oh, the tiger,


[User] Oh my gosh, and then the tiger, oh, the tiger,

[Assistant] Oh, I forgot all about that. Yeah, that's that's right. It was like after my my my fourth drink I kept telling everyone I want to wrestle a tiger while i'm in vegas. I'm going to sneak into the circus tent. I'm going to wrestle a tiger and then I like I somehow I got it into my head I was really going to do this and and then we we got past security and then I was like, oh god, am I do I really have to follow through with this,


[User] Oh, I forgot all about that. Yeah, that's that's right. It was like after my my my fourth drink I kept telling everyone I want to wrestle a tiger while i'm in vegas. I'm going to sneak into the circus tent. I'm going to wrestle a tiger and then I like I somehow I got it into my head I was really going to do this and and then we we got past security and then I was like, oh god, am I do I really have to follow through with this,

[Assistant] And it turned out that the tiger was just like a really big cat. You know what I mean, it was so kind because you got in the cage with the tiger and I was sitting in the stands.


[User] And it turned out that the tiger was just like a really big cat. You know what I mean, it was so kind because you got in the cage with the tiger and I was sitting in the stands.

[Assistant] For for a second I thought it was going to be like a like a guy in a tiger suit.


[User] For for a second I thought it was going to be like a like a guy in a tiger suit.

[Assistant] Ah you know, in vegas, I wouldn't be surprised.


[User] Oh, and then remember when remember when when you when you decided to decided you could be an elvis impersonator,

[Assistant] That I decide no, elvis embodied my my soul that night, all right,


[User] That I decide no, elvis embodied my my soul that night, all right,

[Assistant] And then the and then the sideburn like half fell off and he was like hanging like was like hanging off your face and you're like I and know and um no that was the best.


[User] And then the and then the sideburn like half fell off and he was like hanging like was like hanging off your face and you're like I and know and um no that was the best.

[Assistant] You remember do you remember and the yeah but we went to the buffet and you ate so much food that you thought you were gonna be sick, oh


[User] You remember do you remember and the yeah but we went to the buffet and you ate so much food that you thought you were gonna be sick, oh

[Assistant] Ah those buffets are dangerous.


[User] Ah those buffets are dangerous.

[Assistant] It's so dangerous. How much food did you eat, do you remember,


[User] It's so dangerous. How much food did you eat, do you remember,

[Assistant] At least like six plates' worth. But I mean, one of them was all brownies.


[User] At least like six plates' worth. But I mean, one of them was all brownies.

[Assistant] I know that I had the um what was their special they called it like they it was like caviar on french egg toast or something it was so ridiculous


[User] Yeah there was and it had this this like like what's it called, this like hollandaise sauce on it,

[Assistant] He had it at that oh, what about oh oh, my goodness do you remember when we had that whole gambling stint with with the slot machines, do you remember,


[User] He had it at that oh, what about oh oh, my goodness do you remember when we had that whole gambling stint with with the slot machines, do you remember,

[Assistant] Oh, right right. And ah tina was like scared we were going to get caught and then she's like, guys, guys, stop. Let's let's go. I'm like, tina, relax. Have another drink and then and then like it just kept pouring out money and we're like, cool.


[User] Oh, right right. And ah tina was like scared we were going to get caught and then she's like, guys, guys, stop. Let's let's go. I'm like, tina, relax. Have another drink and then and then like it just kept pouring out money and we're like, cool.

[Assistant] More money for more drinks, you know what I mean, that was definitely, oh, yeah.


[User] I mean I mean don't get me wrong i'd i'd be kind of freaking out too if I was being chased by a moose but oh this just the way the way he was running ah

[Assistant] It was so great. I don't think he he looked like ah and like a human embodied muppet with his arms flailing around him all that stuff


[User] It was so great. I don't think he he looked like ah and like a human embodied muppet with his arms flailing around him all that stuff

[Assistant] And and he was like going in circles, like he was so confused. And then and and then the moose was just kind of like just just casually just kind of lumbering along.


[User] And and he was like going in circles, like he was so confused. And then and and then the moose was just kind of like just just casually just kind of lumbering along.

[Assistant] Did you see the, did you see the part where they, what was it, what was the part, what was the part, the, ah.


[User] Did you see the, did you see the part where they, what was it, what was the part, what was the part, the, ah.

[Assistant] Whoa, that's something you don't see every day a moose chase and then oh, that that guy is terrified.


[User] Running for his life, i

[Assistant] It's like it's like you'd think that the the guy had an affair with a moose's husband.


[User] It's like it's like you'd think that the the guy had an affair with a moose's husband.

[Assistant] So look, there he goes. He's climbing up the tree. The moose is


[User] So look, there he goes. He's climbing up the tree. The moose is

[Assistant] Oh, no, and the moose is just, like, sniffing him out, sniffing one leaf at a time. Ah that moose, like, is so relaxed, it doesn't even care.


[User] Oh, no, and the moose is just, like, sniffing him out, sniffing one leaf at a time. Ah that moose, like, is so relaxed, it doesn't even care.

[Assistant] And then, oh, wait,


[User] And then, oh, wait,

[Assistant] Well, what is he doing? He's throwing acorns at the moose. What is he thinking? That is so not the right thing to do. He's he's making it angry.


[User] Well, what is he doing? He's throwing acorns at the moose. What is he thinking? That is so not the right thing to do. He's he's making it angry.

[Assistant] Is making it angry but i'm having a good time.


[User] Is making it angry but i'm having a good time.

[Assistant] And he's trying to hide himself in the leaves, what, he thinks he's gonna like camouflage or something,


[User] And he's trying to hide himself in the leaves, what, he thinks he's gonna like camouflage or something,

[Assistant] Be little guy in a bunch of bushes, huh,


[User] Be little guy in a bunch of bushes, huh,

[Assistant] I hope this becomes like viral and tiktok. Like someone's gotta be getting this on video to like show his future grandkids.


[User] I hope this becomes like viral and tiktok. Like someone's gotta be getting this on video to like show his future grandkids.

[Assistant] Shoot, he's falling out of the tree.


[User] Shoot, he's falling out of the tree.

[Assistant] Oh no. Oh, the moose is, is he pooping? The moose just stopped to poop, look at that.


[User] Oh no. Oh, the moose is, is he pooping? The moose just stopped to poop, look at that.

[Assistant] Did he fall onto the poop,


[User] Did he fall onto the poop,

[Assistant] Oh no, ha, oh, that guy's gonna laugh about this later.


[User] Oh no, ha, oh, that guy's gonna laugh about this later.

[Assistant] A feces facial.


[User] Feces feces facial, that's a perfect way to describe that.

[Assistant] You know, I have a friend back I have a friend back home named mark who would absolutely love one of those things.


[User] Oh, well, you know got first-hand footage from the moose poop salon here.

[Assistant] Yeah send that to him right now, send that to him right


[User] Hey, I I think I see you. Wait, wait, wave your wave wave your left hand.

[Assistant] I don't oh sorry that was my right hello where where I don't see you


[User] I don't oh sorry that was my right hello where where I don't see you

[Assistant] Ok, ok, hold on. There's like a million kids here. Like, yeah, we had to look for each other in front of the santa display. I don't know what we were thinking. All right. Ok, do you see the the hot dog stand,


[User] Ok, ok, hold on. There's like a million kids here. Like, yeah, we had to look for each other in front of the santa display. I don't know what we were thinking. All right. Ok, do you see the the hot dog stand,

[Assistant] Ah no, I don't see the hot dog stand.


[User] Ah no, I don't see the hot dog stand.

[Assistant] But look look to your right how could you not see the hot dog the giant hot dog stand like right next to you, seriously,


[User] But look look to your right how could you not see the hot dog the giant hot dog stand like right next to you, seriously,

[Assistant] Oh, wheezy dogs, is that what it's called,


[User] Yeah now look directly to your right.

[Assistant] I'm looking to my I don't see you i'm gonna go over to the i'm gonna go over to the forever twenty one i'll meet you out there


[User] I'm looking to my I don't see you i'm gonna go over to the i'm gonna go over to the forever twenty one i'll meet you out there

[Assistant] Ah like i'm i'm trying to walk over to you, but there's like guys so many people here all right,


[User] Ah like i'm i'm trying to walk over to you, but there's like guys so many people here all right,

[Assistant] Youre not at the forever twenty one, where are you?


[User] I see a lot of ladies with the bon jovi t-shirts.

[Assistant] Yeah come on no, the the one the one with the with the purple hair,


[User] Yeah come on no, the the one the one with the with the purple hair,

[Assistant] The purple I think I kind of see her, maybe,


[User] The purple I think I kind of see her, maybe,

[Assistant] How can you not see her, she's look, she's.


[User] I don't know. I just i'm trying my best.

[Assistant] She she just she just danced. Like she just danced to that music that's playing.


[User] Just that, okay, that's not the purple bon jovi lady lady hair.

[Assistant] Ah you're killing me. You're killing me here. All right.


[User] Ah you're killing me. You're killing me here. All right.

[Assistant] You see the do you see the.


[User] Walk toward walk toward the smoothie place. Do you see the smoothie place,

[Assistant] Ah the smoothie place I don't see the smoothie place. I'm sorry.


[User] Ah the smoothie place I don't see the smoothie place. I'm sorry.

[Assistant] Ah okay what is wrong with you, you ah okay all right. Do you see that, oh, right there, that kid who just dropped the smoothie on the floor. Do you see that,


[User] Ah okay what is wrong with you, you ah okay all right. Do you see that, oh, right there, that kid who just dropped the smoothie on the floor. Do you see that,

[Assistant] Oh, i see, i hear him. I dont see him. I hear him crying though.


[User] Oh, i see, i hear him. I dont see him. I hear him crying though.

[Assistant] Ah like just turn around turn around like three sixty degrees this reminds me of the of the time that we went to that red sox game and remember I was like I was like i'm i'm in i'm in row c i'm in no i'm in seat twelve and then you're like in the wrong end of the stadium and then oh my god


[User] Ah like just turn around turn around like three sixty degrees this reminds me of the of the time that we went to that red sox game and remember I was like I was like i'm i'm in i'm in row c i'm in no i'm in seat twelve and then you're like in the wrong end of the stadium and then oh my god

[Assistant] I remember because I remember I remember c twelve like it's a dramatic experience for me.


[User] And and then you stole that kid's cracker jacks, remember that,

[Assistant] I couldn't help it. I was hungry.


[User] I couldn't help it. I was hungry.

[Assistant] I was like, I don't know this guy. I couldn't believe you did that.


[User] I was like, I don't know this guy. I couldn't believe you did that.

[Assistant] Hey, hey, but you ate some of the crackajacks too, don't you lie.


[User] Hey, hey, but you ate some of the crackajacks too, don't you lie.

[Assistant] Ah no, I didn't. I but but I I stole the prize at the bottom I I reached my hand in there just to take the prize and I pretended I was eating them, but I don't eat stolen cracker jacks. I got some dignity. I I mean, yeah, I had like eight fenway franks that day with you know extra mustard, but come on, I don't eat no stolen cracker jacks.


[User] Ah no, I didn't. I but but I I stole the prize at the bottom I I reached my hand in there just to take the prize and I pretended I was eating them, but I don't eat stolen cracker jacks. I got some dignity. I I mean, yeah, I had like eight fenway franks that day with you know extra mustard, but come on, I don't eat no stolen cracker jacks.

[Assistant] Wait, where are you, I can't find you still.


[User] Ah dick's dick's sporting goods,

[Assistant] Yes, yes, do you see that big rowing machine there in the display case,


[User] Ah yeah, are you on the second floor or the first floor,

[Assistant] You kidding me, are you kidding me okay, okay, don't don't go up the escalator. Stay on the floor you're on.


[User] You kidding me, are you kidding me okay, okay, don't don't go up the escalator. Stay on the floor you're on.

[Assistant] Um going up the escalator.


[User] Um going up the escalator.

[Assistant] Ah don't, no,


[User] Ah don't, no,

[Assistant] Sorry I was already on my way up.


[User] Look, i'm going to buy a giant pretzel just so I can wave it in the air. See, you you can't miss a giant pretzel. It's not just an excuse because i'm hungry and I really crave and a pretzel right now. I'm trying to help you, trying to help you find me, but you know, I can't cut through all this this mob of kids.

[Assistant] I'm looking as hard as I can and I still don't see you.


[User] I'm looking as hard as I can and I still don't see you.

[Assistant] I'm going to i'm going to steal a candy cane from one of the kids i'm going to hang a pretzel off the candy cane i'm going to swing it around in a circle i'm going to make like a giant halo over my head. Just look for look for the giant pretzel on the candy cane orbiting my head, ok, just keep an eye out for that.


[User] I'm going to i'm going to steal a candy cane from one of the kids i'm going to hang a pretzel off the candy cane i'm going to swing it around in a circle i'm going to make like a giant halo over my head. Just look for look for the giant pretzel on the candy cane orbiting my head, ok, just keep an eye out for that.

[Assistant] Oh, oh, is that you? I'm all the way up here. Look at me.


[User] Oh, oh, is that you? I'm all the way up here. Look at me.

[Assistant] Haven't done it yet, so I don't know what it is you're looking at, but I haven't even bought the pretzel yet.


[User] Haven't done it yet, so I don't know what it is you're looking at, but I haven't even bought the pretzel yet.

[Assistant] Oh, that's so strange. Someone got a candy cane and pretzel and started twirling it around like a baton like they were nunchucks or something.


[User] Oh, that's so strange. Someone got a candy cane and pretzel and started twirling it around like a baton like they were nunchucks or something.

[Assistant] Yeah you should go get your eyesight checked, because I don't know what you were looking at, but I guarantee you nobody else is swinging a pretzel on a candy cane. Maybe they had like maybe they just bought like a toy or something.


[User] I don't know. Where are you,

[Assistant] Whoa, oh my god, did you just tell me you didn't tell me you saw that,


[User] I saw nothing. What just happened,

[Assistant] Ah the the giant present in front yeah but between the santa and the elves it like fell off the platform and then and then and then his chair fell over and and santa just like scrambled back and then his beard fell off and then the kids are going nuts. Ah


[User] Ah the the giant present in front yeah but between the santa and the elves it like fell off the platform and then and then and then his chair fell over and and santa just like scrambled back and then his beard fell off and then the kids are going nuts. Ah

[Assistant] Ah ah ah the ah the kids attacking the presents, I think I hear that. Oh, my goodness.


[User] Ah ah ah the ah the kids attacking the presents, I think I hear that. Oh, my goodness.

[Assistant] Those two kids are fighting with the giant candy canes now. They're like, oh, and they're making like, like lightsaber noises. And then one of them took Santa's beard and put it on. Oh my goodness. And then the elves are like trying to control them. They're like, they're like trying to push them back. This is, this is unreal.


[User] That was that was the worst like worst depiction of little shop of horrors i've ever seen.

[Assistant] Ah believe it or not, this is actually the first time i've ever i've ever seen little shop of horrors. I haven't even seen the movie. And and this is I mean, i've heard about it, but this is the that show everyone's been talking about wow.


[User] Ah believe it or not, this is actually the first time i've ever i've ever seen little shop of horrors. I haven't even seen the movie. And and this is I mean, i've heard about it, but this is the that show everyone's been talking about wow.

[Assistant] I mean, i'm kind of I kind of have to laugh because, like, I feel really bad for, like, the people that were up there. It was I mean, clearly, it just was not their day. Somebody rolled, like, a natural one or something.


[User] I mean, i'm kind of I kind of have to laugh because, like, I feel really bad for, like, the people that were up there. It was I mean, clearly, it just was not their day. Somebody rolled, like, a natural one or something.

[Assistant] So yeah, but I mean, you can tell that they're having fun. They got, you know, the cast of chemistry and, you know, they're all gonna, they're all gonna go to the bar late at night and they're gonna be like, oh my gosh, that was a hot mess. And they're gonna laugh their butts off about it.


[User] So yeah, but I mean, you can tell that they're having fun. They got, you know, the cast of chemistry and, you know, they're all gonna, they're all gonna go to the bar late at night and they're gonna be like, oh my gosh, that was a hot mess. And they're gonna laugh their butts off about it.

[Assistant] I mean, who approved that audrey two puppet, you know, like who, ah who,


[User] I couldn't believe it either. I mean why they painted him green,

[Assistant] Yeah that's right.


[User] Yeah that's right.

[Assistant] And then, what is, uh, crotch ripped open, and then, what's the main guy's name, I forgot his name, um, whatever, his name, uh, seymour, yes, god just gave that to me. Anyway, so.


[User] And then, what is, uh, crotch ripped open, and then, what's the main guy's name, I forgot his name, um, whatever, his name, uh, seymour, yes, god just gave that to me. Anyway, so.

[Assistant] Right, right, yeah.


[User] Right, right, yeah.

[Assistant] Seymour he tried to go over and, like, you know, subtly cover up the fact that this guy's junk was now, like, hanging out in the open.


[User] Seymour he tried to go over and, like, you know, subtly cover up the fact that this guy's junk was now, like, hanging out in the open.

[Assistant] Oh, and that that one guy and I don't I I don't even know the character's name, but that i'm i'm sure that actor was drunk. Like, he was three sheets to the wind, right, I mean, that's not I would that's not how that's supposed to be played, am I right,


[User] Oh, and that that one guy and I don't I I don't even know the character's name, but that i'm i'm sure that actor was drunk. Like, he was three sheets to the wind, right, I mean, that's not I would that's not how that's supposed to be played, am I right,

[Assistant] No, he was definitely drunk. Like, there was no doubt about that.


[User] No, he was definitely drunk. Like, there was no doubt about that.

[Assistant] Yeah like, wow. Like, how did he get away with that,


[User] Yeah like, wow. Like, how did he get away with that,

[Assistant] And then the chemistry between the two leads was like was nonexistent. It was just like it was like two boards of wood like talking to each other have you ever seen that show ed edd n eddy, it's two planks.


[User] And then the chemistry between the two leads was like was nonexistent. It was just like it was like two boards of wood like talking to each other have you ever seen that show ed edd n eddy, it's two planks.

[Assistant] Ah tell me about it yeah oh and and then the the curtain call when the when when they're they're taking the bows and and the curtain like like it ripped off the ceiling and and and and what's-her-name got like wrapped up in it and and you get to see like she was just like her arms are flailing inside the curtain like she was like trying to like tear her way out that was just hilarious


[User] Ah tell me about it yeah oh and and then the the curtain call when the when when they're they're taking the bows and and the curtain like like it ripped off the ceiling and and and and what's-her-name got like wrapped up in it and and you get to see like she was just like her arms are flailing inside the curtain like she was like trying to like tear her way out that was just hilarious

[Assistant] It felt like one of those videos like when a cat gets stuck in, like, a curtain of, like, a window and you can see it, like, moving around in there but it can't find its way out, so you just see, like, the rustling of the fabric and all that stuff.


[User] It felt like one of those videos like when a cat gets stuck in, like, a curtain of, like, a window and you can see it, like, moving around in there but it can't find its way out, so you just see, like, the rustling of the fabric and all that stuff.

[Assistant] Ah exactly exactly


[User] Ah exactly exactly

[Assistant] What about when the like, the front, like, right part of the stage collapsed, do you remember that,


[User] What about when the like, the front, like, right part of the stage collapsed, do you remember that,

[Assistant] Oh, I thought I I assumed that was the one thing that was on purpose. I I are you saying that doesn't actually happen in little shop of horrors,


[User] Oh, I thought I I assumed that was the one thing that was on purpose. I I are you saying that doesn't actually happen in little shop of horrors,

[Assistant] No, it's not supposed to happen.


[User] No, it's not supposed to happen.

[Assistant] And I didn't I wouldn't have known that. I mean, you know, it's kind of hard to distinguish the, ah you know, mishaps on stage from the actual story. I mean, the story was pretty wonky in itself, right,


[User] And I didn't I wouldn't have known that. I mean, you know, it's kind of hard to distinguish the, ah you know, mishaps on stage from the actual story. I mean, the story was pretty wonky in itself, right,

[Assistant] But that's what you know is a really good story is if you can't distinguish the mishaps, am I right,


[User] I was really I was eventually when we got past her we were driving down broadway and do you remember um that show billy on the street, do you know billy on the street, it's the guy who asks people a question and then if they don't give him the answer that he wants he screams and then runs away do you know what i'm talking did you hear his scream from down on broadway and forty seventh,

[Assistant] I haven't seen that show, but if it's if that show is anywhere near as entertaining as that as that guy we saw, then i'll have to start watching.


[User] Ah what about the you know, it's the winter in new york, you know, what about all of the kids that were ah sledding down the streets with the snow and all of that stuff,

[Assistant] Oh yeah, and then, and then that one kid threw that snowball so hard, it hit me in the back, and I thought it was you. I turned around, I got so mad at you, and, and yeah, you were trying to tell me it was, you know, it was one of the kids, but like, I didn't even hear you say that, so I'm like, like, what do you think you're doing? And in the middle, I like tackled you into the snow, and you rolled around, and then, and then like, it wasn't until later you told me, like, I was a kid who threw that snowball, it wasn't you.


[User] Oh yeah, and then, and then that one kid threw that snowball so hard, it hit me in the back, and I thought it was you. I turned around, I got so mad at you, and, and yeah, you were trying to tell me it was, you know, it was one of the kids, but like, I didn't even hear you say that, so I'm like, like, what do you think you're doing? And in the middle, I like tackled you into the snow, and you rolled around, and then, and then like, it wasn't until later you told me, like, I was a kid who threw that snowball, it wasn't you.

[Assistant] And then and then you so and then when we walked into the hotel to get, like, warm and stuff after rolling around in the snow and we ordered the what is it, the um the really bad shrimp dish, you know the one i'm talking about, the one that gave us indigestion,


[User] And then and then you so and then when we walked into the hotel to get, like, warm and stuff after rolling around in the snow and we ordered the what is it, the um the really bad shrimp dish, you know the one i'm talking about, the one that gave us indigestion,

[Assistant] Oh, god, i've been trying to forget that. It wasn't the shrimp, it was the tartar sauce. That tartar sauce had been left out for hours or that.


[User] Oh, god, i've been trying to forget that. It wasn't the shrimp, it was the tartar sauce. That tartar sauce had been left out for hours or that.

[Assistant] I mean it still tasted good you know and then how many long islands did you have, how many how many like drinks did you have,


[User] I'm i'm going to say I lost count after seven.

[Assistant] Yeah I I didn't know. I think it was for me I had five and then I think you drunk called someone. Who did you drunk call,


[User] Yeah I I didn't know. I think it was for me I had five and then I think you drunk called someone. Who did you drunk call,

[Assistant] Well, that would be monica. I only know that because I had a chat with monica the next day, and monica was not very happy with me. But yeah, it it took ah took, like, a few months to to patch things up with monica. I had to had to explain that I was not, you know, didn't mean didn't mean from what I said to come out the way it did. It was the it was either the eighth long island or maybe the ninth long island that was speaking when I was speaking to monica that day.


[User] Well, that would be monica. I only know that because I had a chat with monica the next day, and monica was not very happy with me. But yeah, it it took ah took, like, a few months to to patch things up with monica. I had to had to explain that I was not, you know, didn't mean didn't mean from what I said to come out the way it did. It was the it was either the eighth long island or maybe the ninth long island that was speaking when I was speaking to monica that day.

[Assistant] And then I remember you literally made me call what was it, one eight hundred we are clowns you literally made me call that number and then had me order clowns to entertain your drunk butt in our hotel room. Do you remember that,


[User] Yeah, I remember pressing the digits on your phone, and and I I remember I was really determined to show you something. I don't recall it being clowns per se, but oh, you know, come to think of it, then there was a balloon animal that they made for us it was like it was like a balloon t-rex. Yeah, it was just like the woman in the tinned dinosaur costume. Ah,

[Assistant] Yeah yeah I remember.


[User] It was so like, do you remember the the giant person dressed as a rat, like no, a regular person dressed as a giant rat running across the sidewalk that was crazy. And.

[Assistant] That was something else. Oh man, you don't see that back in, you don't see that back home, do you?


[User] He was in and the music was in his body he was in the zone, yeah.

[Assistant] The the trumpets playing the high notes are like do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do 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do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do


[User] Yeah you are you seem to have it in your body it's time buddy it's time it's time to go to bed i'm gonna need you you

[Assistant] He's just like, ba-da-da-da-dum, bum, bum, bum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da-da-da-dum, ba-da


[User] Good morning good morning

[Assistant] Ugh, ugh, god, it's so early. I got like three hours of sleep last night. Oh man, this is painful.


[User] Ah well karen, it was her birthday and she she dared me to do it's not usually my style, but she really wanted me to sing no doubt just just a girl, you know, the yeah the classic song.

[Assistant] I know I know what you you do you have any videos of this, can you send it to me later,


[User] How exciting.

[Assistant] Stop yawning. You're making me yawn. Can't do that. Okay.


[User] No, no, no. You can go ahead. I think i'm gonna conk out.

[Assistant] Ah I feel like we should eat more just because we can.


[User] So the dessert and dessert item was your your favorite of the whole thing, thats surprising.

[Assistant] Look, all right, I just like my so um I like my cinnamon rolls, the orange ice icing on it was really good what about you,


[User] Look, all right, I just like my so um I like my cinnamon rolls, the orange ice icing on it was really good what about you,

[Assistant] Fair enough, mine was those those noodles in that that spicy sauce that like it was like it was like a thai. What was it? What was it called? Yeah, those those like those glass noodles are like marinated in that like really thick, the thick sauce of the red, like little flakes of red peppers. And and those like little bell shaped mushrooms and and those slices of red of and like this little like leaves of spinach. So good.


[User] Ah, crabs. Crabs. No, and please don't talk about crap anymore. We've talked about that enough tonight over dinner.

[Assistant] No, your your mind is in the gutter man, what the hell jeez, jeez, dude, what is your deal? But i think im going to play the i want to play the the jack slot, the slots, you know, i mean, we pull a lever and it does the ring a ding, a ding, a ding.


[User] Come on, man, its no big deal. You got to.

[Assistant] Like shhh, quiet, shhh, that's it, tell me you don't hear.


[User] Baby, you're a firework. No, I'm done.

[Assistant] If you if you don't turn that off, i'm pointing the hose at you right now. And yeah you can challenge me to a rematch, but but you ain't going to win because I don't think you've done a sit-up since like since like bush was president.


[User] I know because weren't you chased by the security guard,

[Assistant] Crazy yeah yeah but I was a fast little bugger back then.


[User] Hey, hey, stop. Let's let's not get into what we looked like and at ten.

[Assistant] No, I mean it in a good way because you got away from him. He probably grabbed onto your clothes and couldn't get you.


[User] No, I mean it in a good way because you got away from him. He probably grabbed onto your clothes and couldn't get you.

[Assistant] Yeah oh and when I snuck behind that like that weird pillar thing they had he was like trying to reach me and he and he got his arm he got his arm stuck remember that and they like those other two guys had helped like pull his arm out oh and he was so angry


[User] And then oh, oh, and then, like, I think you you like ran by and and you like pointed your finger and laughed at him oh, man, that was

[Assistant] I did when I was running I don't know if I ever told you this when I was running by the two security guards that were trying to help him had to physically put some kind of oil on his arm to get it unstuck


[User] I did when I was running I don't know if I ever told you this when I was running by the two security guards that were trying to help him had to physically put some kind of oil on his arm to get it unstuck

[Assistant] Ah that's right it was like probably vaseline or something in those days.


[User] Um that's right, I forgot about that.

[Assistant] Yeah it's because I left again to test my luck to see if I could get further up and I ended up in second row second row and no, i'm not kidding.


[User] Yeah it's because I left again to test my luck to see if I could get further up and I ended up in second row second row and no, i'm not kidding.

[Assistant] You didn't come, you didn't come back and tell me or come back and bring me with you,


[User] You didn't come, you didn't come back and tell me or come back and bring me with you,

[Assistant] No, no, because if I came back then I wouldn't have the seat.


[User] Get out of town.

[Assistant] I'm serious. So I go and I sit down in the seat, right, okay, and i'm minding my own business like i've been there. Like, I don't know what made me do it, but it reminded me of, like, just one of those stupid cartoons that we had seen when we were kids where they're like, oh, yeah, i'm not up to anything. I'm fine. I'm fine. And so i'm just sitting there minding my own business. A woman comes by who clearly paid for it, who paid for the seat, has food and everything in her arms,


[User] Oh no. Ha!

[Assistant] Security took her away.


[User] Security took her away.

[Assistant] Ah ha ha


[User] Ah ha ha

[Assistant] Took her away because she didn't have her ticket stub. She couldn't prove that it was her. And I just went, excuse me, my daddy is over there.


[User] Ohhhh, you're the worst!

[Assistant] I I can I shit you not. That's the only way.


[User] I I can I shit you not. That's the only way.

[Assistant] I mean, I thought I was bad, but you were taking it to a whole nother level oh, wait a minute. Was that that must have been, like, right after they played these eyes these eyes, these eyes have seen another you know you know that song,


[User] I mean, I thought I was bad, but you were taking it to a whole nother level oh, wait a minute. Was that that must have been, like, right after they played these eyes these eyes, these eyes have seen another you know you know that song,

[Assistant] Yes, yes, it was a it was a break in between the songs and thats when i did it.


[User] Yes, yes, it was a it was a break in between the songs and thats when i did it.

[Assistant] Oh, man.


[User] Oh, man.

[Assistant] And they went into new mother nature. And I was like, new mother nature, take it over yeah


[User] And they went into new mother nature. And I was like, new mother nature, take it over yeah

[Assistant] the nature!" "Yes, yes!Yes!Yes!Yes!Yes!Yes!Yes.


[User] I'll tell you this you you don't need to I don't know if somebody's told you that you need to replace him but you don't you don't need to get a pet to replace him and I know the feeling of feeling more lonely after you you lose a pet and what it feels like when it's quiet and you're so used to having their footsteps or the sound of them jumping and the thud on the ground little things like that I know you don't hear them anymore but you you don't need to rush those memories out away from your brain either okay

[Assistant] I keep on, I keep on filling his, his bowl every morning. I just, I can't, I can't stop leaving food out for him. It's just, you know, it's, it's a habit. I fill his water bowl and I fill his dry food every, every morning, just like I always did. He's, he's, he's not there. He's gone.


[User] Oh my gosh, could he. Tell me about it. Remember when you used to make cookies and he would intentionally bat it around with his paws? He'd get in the dough and we'd have to throw everything out again.

[Assistant] Oh lord, I almost forgot about that. Oh, he would drive me nuts.


[User] I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but just be careful, okay,

[Assistant] Why do they have to have like five people in that interview room? Like, why do someone need that kind of pressure? Like, I wasn't even prepared for a group interview. I thought it would be just a one-on-one thing. I'd bring my portfolio and they had to have like five people, the whole freaking team sitting around the table. Like, they could have warned me about that. Like, what were they thinking? It ain't fair.


[User] I know you're right I just I think if you can try not to live in that moment if you can get away from it and try to focus on what you can do that's going to make you happy and be productive and i'm just worried you go to the bar a lot with jimmy

[Assistant] Hey, are you criticizing my drinking habits now, seriously, kathy,


[User] Um is it okay if I sit with you guys right now for a few minutes,

[Assistant] He ran out into the road again. Oh, god, oh, god. I don't know if Zeke's going to make it. I honestly don't think he's going to make it.


[User] I know, I see.

[Assistant] I think this is I think this is the end. I think this is it.


[User] It's really hard when we live you know in a rural area.

[Assistant] But he's got all these woods he can run around and he can chase squirrels or whatever whatever he wants to do. But he keeps on going on the road. And I I tried tried to discipline him, but I could have done better I could have done better.


[User] I know that, but mum doesn't know because she's older right

[Assistant] I know I shouldn't I shouldn't have been on the phone with mom. I shouldn't have gone outside to check the mail. I shouldn't I shouldn't have let the door open. And if I hadn't let the door open and let the door open, this wouldn't have happened.


[User] I'm not going to lie, you're scaring me a bit.

[Assistant] It's it's nothing like that. I'm i'm i'm fine. It's nothing about my health. Just ah i'm having a hard time with something I yeah something I found out today


[User] You couldn't say that if you were there at the wedding, right, you'd have to be very careful.

[Assistant] Ah but yeah, you'd ah you'd have to train me on the etiquette, sure. But gosh I guess I couldn't say gosh at a catholic wedding either, could I,


[User] Hey, are you doing okay, ed,

[Assistant] Ah oh man, this that that scene scares me every time oh god.


[User] Yeah, that's all she had left of her parents.

[Assistant] I know I just feel like such a screw-up that I let this happen


[User] I know that's I when I when I um when I broke up with with mona it was I didn't think I could get up the next morning I I just couldn't imagine living without her but you're going to move on it's going to take some time but you're going to be yourself again you're you're going to laugh again and you know maybe you could even you could go to europe yourself you could could make that trip yourself

[Assistant] To see where his family was from. It's not from my family.


[User] It doesn't have to be about him, it can be just about you having an adventure and reclaiming your reclaiming your own your own autonomy.

[Assistant] I just feel like I have this pit in my body and I feel like I can't think about anything. I can't think about eating. I can't think about doing anything. My head just feels like it's on fire.


[User] And if you need to if you need to take some time off work, if you need to cancel plans, that's

[Assistant] No i'm not going to do that because it's the thing that keeps me going. It distracts me I don't want to think about this too much. I don't I don't want to feel this way


[User] There's somebody out there of course, of course you don't, and you don't have to.

[Assistant] Appreciate it. I just I don't know that I can really wrap my head around that. I think I just have to do small things right now


[User] Ah I don't mean to intrude if it's personal, but do you need help are you safe, do you need help,

[Assistant] I'm safe. I just, I went to pay for my gas and I can't, I don't know what's going on. I don't know why my card is declined. I don't understand. I've had the worst day. Everything goes wrong. I can't leave the house without anything going wrong. I tripped over my own foot leaving the house this morning.


[User] Ooh, that's ah that sounds painful well, maybe um maybe it's just a technical error with with your bank, and um maybe but maybe it'll clear up,

[Assistant] No, but I can't get service on my phone to figure out what's going on.


[User] Ah geez, um you got hit with some with some bad luck today, didn't you,

[Assistant] And I look like such a baby right now because I can't just figure it out.


[User] It's ok. You look you look you look like a normal, sane person. And um you know, not everyone i've seen today is a normal, sane person. So you're you're you know, you're not the you're not the worst-looking person i've seen today. How's how's that for ah for an uplifting

[Assistant] Thanks i'm sorry


[User] I tell you what. I tell you what. Um i'm about to go in and get myself a monster and an energy drink. Um it's a bad habit of mine. I don't even know why i'm confessing that to you. But ah I tell you what. Maybe I mean, I hate to see you stranded here. Um maybe maybe I could pay for your gas, and maybe you can you know you can just reimburse me later. I'll give you, like, my my venmo or something,

[Assistant] No, no, I don't want you to do that. Maybe you could just if you go and get your drink, you could just come back and just maybe just sit around with me for a few minutes. I'll try to just move over to a spot that has better service so I could just try to understand why my bank refused me to pay for my gas.


[User] You know you can put me on the phone with them and i'll tear them a new one i'll i'll i'll yell at them like yeah like they ain't even ready for well i'm going to get some snacks, too, maybe some potato chips. Can I can I get anything for you,

[Assistant] No, thanks. I'll just i'm just going to move over to the side over there on the right, ok,


[User] About maybe some little debbie's cupcakes, those little those little brownies in the plastic case with ah with the m and s in them or um

[Assistant] It sounds like maybe you want those. Why don't you get them,


[User] You know what, you're going to look back on this week from now and you're going to laugh your ass off just the fact that you got a flat tire right now while we're sitting here it's going to be funny once, you know, once everything's fixed you're going to laugh about it, trust me.

[Assistant] Just need to sit in the car for a few minutes because I need to figure out what's going on. I don't know what to do.


[User] Um tell you what if if you want to sit here, sit here, eat some potato chips, drink some energy, i'll why don't I take your phone, walk across the street to um see if I can find reception. I'll i'll leave my bike here so you don't, you know, so you're not, like, worrying that i'm going to rob one of your phone or anything like that. I'll leave my bike as collateral. How's that sound,

[Assistant] I just wonder maybe you could just ask if they have wi-fi on the inside when you're inside. Maybe that'll help.


[User] Yeah, i could do that.

[Assistant] Yeah I really appreciate it.


[User] So turns out they they don't have wi-fi. But there is a ah there's a denny's across the street. And they they have a complimentary guest wi-fi signal there. So um

[Assistant] I'm going to go across the street and maybe you could just watch my car for me, I don't know, i'm sorry.


[User] Yeah i'll i'll sit sit right in here in the driver's seat and if anyone anyone gives you trouble i'll um i'll ah try to think of something witty to say to cheer you up but maybe you'll think of something when you come back

[Assistant] You'll monster out on them maybe with your monster energy drink.


[User] Yes, that's it. See, you're you're you're funny you're clever.

[Assistant] Thank you. I'm going to I let me just let me go get across the street for my bag first. And then I have to call triple a at the same time. So i'll probably be about ten minutes.


[User] Ah you know, just between you and me, this bungee bungee aerobics fad I think if you think there's any cardio benefit you're going to get from bungee aerobics,

[Assistant] I dont i dont youre youre.


[User] Everything cool,

[Assistant] Yeah, no, it's fine. Um i'm just yeah i'm cutting audions and


[User] Yeah, no, it's fine. Um i'm just yeah i'm cutting audions and

[Assistant] Oh, I thought you were having a personal crisis there. I thought I was going to have to, you know, console you through a, you know, life event. But you're you're cutting onions. That's such a relief.


[User] Thats sweet. Yeah.

[Assistant] Maybe she just loves cooking so much. She's like i'm going to take my time. And i'm i'm retired i've got all the time in the world. I'm going to pick just the right carrot and just the right pepper.


[User] And tell you what, when you're when you're ninety and i'm like ninety three i'll still be your best bud. You know that.

[Assistant] I know, and you'll still misquote your favorite movie


[User] I know, and you'll still misquote your favorite movie

[Assistant] Yeah. And you're you're going to get really sick of me, and i'm going to be like you know, i'm going to be confusing clerks with, like, titanic or something. I'm going to be like, remember the scene in clerks where where he's like, i'm the king of the world, and you'll be like, stop talking about clerks. It's been seventy years, and you won't shut up about that movie i'm going to drive you crazy when i'm ninety, but i'll still be around. I'll guarantee you that and yeah you're going to cook for me when i'm ninety, you're going to make me lasagna when i'm ninety,


[User] Oh, that's so thoughtful of you.

[Assistant] But I fucked it up. And i'm sorry because I was trying to get you tickets to see them because I know that you you went with your dad when you were younger and that was the last time you got to spend time with your dad in that way and so I thought it could be like this whole thing and I can make it super fun and it you know they're not going to


[User] But I fucked it up. And i'm sorry because I was trying to get you tickets to see them because I know that you you went with your dad when you were younger and that was the last time you got to spend time with your dad in that way and so I thought it could be like this whole thing and I can make it super fun and it you know they're not going to

[Assistant] Honey hey, that is so, so sweet of you. So sweet of you that you even thought of that. But look, I don't I don't need to see the rolling stones again. I've seen them like like like twenty times.


[User] Honey hey, that is so, so sweet of you. So sweet of you that you even thought of that. But look, I don't I don't need to see the rolling stones again. I've seen them like like like twenty times.

[Assistant] I know, but it was different because you know, we're so close. It would be like you going with your family again. And I thought like I could get us the cute little shirts that you had with your dad made again. And i'm really sorry because I was trying really hard and I slept through the alarm because i'm a lazy bum.


[User] I know, but it was different because you know, we're so close. It would be like you going with your family again. And I thought like I could get us the cute little shirts that you had with your dad made again. And i'm really sorry because I was trying really hard and I slept through the alarm because i'm a lazy bum.

[Assistant] Baby, don't be sad. Like, look we can still we if you want to find ways into a concert, there's ways to there's ways to get into a concert. Believe me, my my old man taught my old man taught me anything. He taught me how to get into a concert. There's hundred and one ways if you really want to see a band.


[User] Baby, don't be sad. Like, look we can still we if you want to find ways into a concert, there's ways to there's ways to get into a concert. Believe me, my my old man taught my old man taught me anything. He taught me how to get into a concert. There's hundred and one ways if you really want to see a band.

[Assistant] I mean, I really like I would mean so much to me if we could just even go and see if we could get scalp tickets. I don't know. Like i'll go online and look to see if anybody is like selling them, even if it's a higher price. I just really thought we could do this.


[User] I mean, I really like I would mean so much to me if we could just even go and see if we could get scalp tickets. I don't know. Like i'll go online and look to see if anybody is like selling them, even if it's a higher price. I just really thought we could do this.

[Assistant] Ah you want scalp tickets, we're gonna get us some scalp tickets.


[User] Ah you want scalp tickets, we're gonna get us some scalp tickets.

[Assistant] Yeah well, i'm i'm paying for them ok, i'm i'm so sorry. I feel so rough about this.


[User] You know you don't you don't have to you don't have to do that look I and you know I know I know finances are kind of tight right now.

[Assistant] It's not even about that. Like, I was completely fine. Like, i've set aside all of this time, this energy and money for it. Like, i've been planning this for nine months.


[User] That that means the world to me. It means the absolute world to me that that you would that you even thought of surprising me with this but we're going to see the rolling stones one way or another, trust me

[Assistant] Okay, I just don't want to let you down.


[User] That's that's what we're here to do.

[Assistant] Yeah but I gave I gave away um I gave away my grandmother's kitchen-aid mixer.


[User] Those ah those are some great times. And you know you'll always have those memories. You didn't give away those memories to anyone. And no one can ever take away those good memories from you. I mean, these these are just things but you'll always remember cooking together. And that's what matters.

[Assistant] Yeah it's just i'm mad at myself a little bit because of it and I just kind of need a minute to calm down I think because I just it's not about the material like you said it's just the idea that it was even when I looked at it I could see it and then I think of her.


[User] She'll forgive you. I mean, you know, if she's watching over you up there or whatever you believe she'll forgive you.

[Assistant] Yeah it's just so stupid. I just I don't know why I don't know why I would touch that box I knew it's not like I didn't know I think I just got you know like confused with all of the stuff that we were cleaning out


[User] Maybe um maybe a part of you knew that you had to let go of it maybe there's a deeper reason that you had to part with certain things in order to in order to cope and move on

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just like one of the last things that I had of hers.


[User] She's so unnecessary sometimes. But.

[Assistant] I and yeah yeah


[User] And staircase can be pretty mystifying for a little dog

[Assistant] Yeah, and then shed just bolt up them like she didnt even she got to a point where she she didnt even, you know, she like shed actually jump like seven stairs down. I was like youre going to get break something or hurt something, she didnt care.


[User] Yeah, and then shed just bolt up them like she didnt even she got to a point where she she didnt even, you know, she like shed actually jump like seven stairs down. I was like youre going to get break something or hurt something, she didnt care.

[Assistant] Instinct she knows what she's doing. But yeah, that first time just like like sniffing like down in the little crack between the stairs like like she knew there's something something behind them like there's some food behind the stairs or something


[User] What is that smell, that is that is absolutely putrid and vile oh,

[Assistant] Oh yeah. Oh, I never smelled something so gross. Oh,


[User] Oh yeah. Oh, I never smelled something so gross. Oh,

[Assistant] It's like it's like someone took wet socks and specifically balled them up in the corner of a damp closet and just let it sit there for hours at a time this is not okay.


[User] Like somebody with a lot of athlete's foot. Yeah, this is nasty.

[Assistant] It's not okay. Do you know where, do you know where it is?


[User] It's not okay. Do you know where, do you know where it is?

[Assistant] I don't know. I don't think it's coming from inside the fridge. I looked and there's gross stuff in there, but it's not that gross.


[User] It's not that gross.

[Assistant] No, it's not.


[User] No, it's not.

[Assistant] I think it could be behind the fridge for some reason.


[User] I think it could be behind the fridge for some reason.

[Assistant] Ok, do you want to just, like, you want to move the fridge,


[User] Ok, do you want to just, like, you want to move the fridge,

[Assistant] Alright, we move the fridge on three two one


[User] Alright, we move the fridge on three two one

[Assistant] Ah oh, that's it. That's the smell. That that is oh


[User] Ah oh, that's it. That's the smell. That that is oh

[Assistant] Ah is this what is I don't think i've ever seen bread look so technicolor before.


[User] Ah is this what is I don't think i've ever seen bread look so technicolor before.

[Assistant] Are you sure that's bread, I think it might be a bat. I don't know, it looks like it used to be alive. I don't know, it looks


[User] Are you sure that's bread, I think it might be a bat. I don't know, it looks like it used to be alive. I don't know, it looks

[Assistant] A bat, it could be a bat coated with some kind of white liquid sludge that has slowly deformed it to some kind of,


[User] A bat, it could be a bat coated with some kind of white liquid sludge that has slowly deformed it to some kind of,

[Assistant] I mean, maybe you're right. It could be a piece of wonder bread. It's just that's not natural mold. That is that is that is


[User] I mean, maybe you're right. It could be a piece of wonder bread. It's just that's not natural mold. That is that is that is

[Assistant] That's not natural. That's some government-engineered kind of bullshit.


[User] That's not natural. That's some government-engineered kind of bullshit.

[Assistant] Yeah you're right, the technicolor edges are oh oh oh no.


[User] Yeah you're right, the technicolor edges are oh oh oh no.

[Assistant] How does how does it even look like, how there's a there's a second one. There's a second one.


[User] Ah second one, it's

[Assistant] Like right it's stuck to the wall. It's stuck yeah ah


[User] Like right it's stuck to the wall. It's stuck yeah ah

[Assistant] It's stuck under the fridge. Oh, oh, it's between the fridge and the wall. That's it's squeezing it. Do you see that there's juice running down that, oh, oh, oh my gosh.


[User] It's stuck under the fridge. Oh, oh, it's between the fridge and the wall. That's it's squeezing it. Do you see that there's juice running down that, oh, oh, oh my gosh.

[Assistant] I'm it's do you see the the moldy bungee strings going from the wall to the back of the fridge where that thing was what what is that, is that cheese,


[User] I'm it's do you see the the moldy bungee strings going from the wall to the back of the fridge where that thing was what what is that, is that cheese,

[Assistant] That that looks like mozzarella or or some kind of oh, oh, oh I don't think I can I don't think I can clean this. I think I think we have to hire somebody else to do it.


[User] That that looks like mozzarella or or some kind of oh, oh, oh I don't think I can I don't think I can clean this. I think I think we have to hire somebody else to do it.

[Assistant] But we got to clean it. We are the ones who have been hired to clean it.


[User] Ah yeah okay.

[Assistant] And if you just vomit, vomit into the paper bag as we go in, you're gonna have to, you're gonna be breathing in the vomit that you, it's gonna incentivize you not to vomit. It'll incentivize me too not to vomit as well okay,


[User] And if you just vomit, vomit into the paper bag as we go in, you're gonna have to, you're gonna be breathing in the vomit that you, it's gonna incentivize you not to vomit. It'll incentivize me too not to vomit as well okay,

[Assistant] I feel like you've done this before. Oh,