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MWI-019_s14
MWI-019
FR
responsibility_bonds
WHO DO YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO, AND HOW DO THOSE BONDS SHAPE YOUR CHOICES?
First, Allah. In the work environment, of course, I'm always afraid of my superiors, of people reporting to the administration that I wear a hijab, so I modify my behavior. In the last ward I was in, I never ate with my co-workers at the hospital, because you might run into someone from the administration, and if they ...
MWI-019_s15
MWI-019
FR
role_family_community
WHAT IS YOUR ROLE IN YOUR FAMILY AND COMMUNITY?
In my family, I try to be as good as I can — I try to educate my son, who's still very young, but I take it seriously, trying to give him love for Allah and for practicing the religion. In my community, I try to act mainly in an educational way. I've participated in meetings where I talk about my job and help medical s...
MWI-019_s16
MWI-019
FR
followup__do_you_feel_you_belong_here_are_you
DO YOU FEEL YOU BELONG HERE — ARE YOU SEEN AS FRENCH/QUEBECOIS?
I'm not sure at all. One of the men in my family married a French woman, and when she met me she asked if I was born here. So I'm not sure — I don't think they see me as French. When they see the hijab, I don't think they do. Just recently I took my son to the doctor, and it was an Arab woman like me, but I felt like s...
MWI-019_s17
MWI-019
FR
long_run_practice
WHAT MATTERS MOST FOR PRACTICING YOUR RELIGION IN THE LONG RUN?
Honestly, I have very little hope that things will change for the better. I'll teach my son as much as I can, especially prayer — I want that to be the most important thing, praying on time, even if that's not the easiest thing here. I don't think it can get better, honestly; I'd be happy if it just stayed like this. ...
MWI-019_s18
MWI-019
FR
akhirah
HOW DOES YOUR AWARENESS OF THE AKHIRAH SHAPE THE WAY YOU LIVE?
I wish it shaped it even more, but it makes me try to learn Qur'an, try to do good deeds, and make a lot of du'a. I don't know that it shapes it beyond that.
MWI-019_s19
MWI-019
FR
qadr_control
HOW DO YOU MAKE SENSE OF WHAT IS BEYOND YOUR CONTROL?
For the moment, it's still okay to wear the hijab in public space, so I can still do the things that are obligatory in our religion. As for the other difficulties, I think they're meant for us, and that they become good deeds for us — when you have difficulties, it's only so you have fewer bad things weighing on your b...
MWI-019_s20
MWI-019
FR
followup__how_do_you_understand_la_cit_and_how
HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND LAÏCITÉ, AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOU?
It's a big word here. It's everywhere in the hospital — every time you start in a new ward, you get a PowerPoint about laïcité. It's crazy, really — laïcité, laïcité, you can't wear a surgical cap, it's forbidden, laïcité. But you'll see people wearing a cross necklace, and that's not a problem. Legally, laïcité just m...
MWI-019_s21
MWI-019
FR
followup__do_you_feel_oppressed_by_the_state
DO YOU FEEL OPPRESSED BY THE STATE?
Yes, of course. Especially around political symbols — it's crazy what they say.
MWI-019_s22
MWI-019
FR
heart_intention_practice
WHAT IS THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOUR HEART, INTENTION, AND OUTWARD PRACTICE?
I'm always worried someone will find out — that's for sure — but I do it because I have to, and in a sense I can be proud that I'm doing it. Even if I have to pray in the changing room, I'm doing what I need to do, so I feel happy about that.
MWI-019_s23
MWI-019
FR
submission
WHAT DOES SUBMISSION TO ALLAH MEAN TO YOU?
I think it's believing in what He gave us. I think it's trying to be near Him, trying to have tawakkul, (trust in Allah). That's mostly how I'd put it.
MWI-019_s24
MWI-019
FR
liberation
WHERE IN YOUR LIFE DO YOU FEEL MOST LIBERATED?
In my case, I felt liberated by wearing the hijab, I think. When I go to the hospital I feel oppressed, because I have to take it off, but when I don't have to take it off, I feel liberated, because I'm doing what I want in order to please Allah — I think that's what makes me happy.
MWI-020_s00
MWI-020
CA
ordinary_day
ORDINARY DAY AND WHERE FAITH SHOWS UP
I wake up in the morning, I do my worship, say my prayers, and go about my daily business — making breakfast and so on. I do a lot of volunteer work, I help people, and I do all the other things a regular person does, except I just dress differently. I live my faith. I say my regular prayers, I follow the guidance in ...
MWI-020_s01
MWI-020
CA
followup__how_and_where_are_you_able_to_pray
HOW AND WHERE ARE YOU ABLE TO PRAY DURING YOUR DAY?
Yes, I am. I just excuse myself for five minutes — it doesn't take more than that. I go to the washroom, wash up, go to a corner, take my five minutes, and that's about it, then come back to my meetings and my work.
MWI-020_s02
MWI-020
CA
describe_self_community
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF AND YOUR COMMUNITY?
I would tell them we're no different from you — we just believe differently, but we worship the same God. You'll be surprised: I think the people around me are my community. It doesn't matter if they're French Canadian, Christian, Jewish, Bengali, Pakistani, or Indian — it doesn't matter to me. My community is the peo...
MWI-020_s03
MWI-020
CA
self_change_over_time
HOW HAS YOUR SENSE OF YOURSELF AS A MUSLIM WOMAN CHANGED OVER TIME?
I've lived here almost fifty years — this September it will be fifty years. I came here in September 1976. I've had good experiences, except when I've heard horror stories about the government making laws to discriminate against Muslim women. On a personal note, I have French Canadian friends and English-speaking frien...
MWI-020_s04
MWI-020
CA
living_here_practice
HOW DOES LIVING HERE SHAPE HOW YOU PRACTICE OR SHOW YOUR FAITH?
I have to share with you that I haven't had that experience. There have been many occasions where I was the only hijabi woman among thousands of non-hijabi women, Muslim and non-Muslim, and I haven't felt uncomfortable at all. Sometimes I even forget I have it on my head — I'm driving, somebody cuts in front of me, I s...
MWI-020_s05
MWI-020
CA
seeking_knowledge
DO YOU SEEK RELIGIOUS KNOWLEDGE, AND HOW?
Absolutely. I read a lot of books, and I've read ten to fifteen different interpretations of the Qur'an. For the last thirty years, maybe more, I've made it my mission to read a different translation every Ramadan, just for my own knowledge, because you really can't translate the Qur'an, you can only interpret it. An e...
MWI-020_s06
MWI-020
CA
hijab_journey
HOW DID YOU COME TO WEAR HIJAB, AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?
I started wearing the hijab when I went for Hajj — you have to cover your head there, and of course, when you pray, you cover your head. I understood it as a mark of respect to my creator, and that's why I kept it on: I said, I'm going to leave it on, it's a mark of respect to my creator. Since I have to cover my head ...
MWI-020_s07
MWI-020
CA
misconceptions
WHAT DO PEOPLE GET WRONG ABOUT MUSLIM WOMEN OR HIJAB?
All the time — I'm giving interviews all the time, to the media, to PhD students like you, so many interviews in my life. I blame my own community for a lot of this misunderstanding — we should have been more open, more willing to reach out and show people we're just the same. When I moved into this neighborhood in 19...
MWI-020_s08
MWI-020
CA
difficulty_and_faith
TELL ME ABOUT A DIFFICULTY AND HOW FAITH HELPED YOU MEET IT
By the grace of God, I've never really had difficulty other than financial difficulty — when we moved here with young children and my husband didn't have a job, we had a difficult time financially, but I've never had any other kind of difficulty in life. I've always had very positive responses and feedback from people....
MWI-020_s09
MWI-020
CA
expectations
WHAT INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL EXPECTATIONS ARE PLACED ON MUSLIM WOMEN?
I don't go to the mosque — I'm sorry to say that, but I feel very insulted that women are pushed into a corner, behind curtains. I've been a secretary at my mosque, and I was on the board of a masjid — the only Muslim woman on the board here in [CITY 1], actually the first Muslim woman on that board — and I saw how our...
MWI-020_s10
MWI-020
CA
responsibility_bonds
WHO DO YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO, AND HOW DO THOSE BONDS SHAPE YOUR CHOICES?
My family — I'm responsible for bringing up my children. I taught them how to read the Qur'an, and I used to stand in prayer with them, because my husband traveled a lot for work, so I was alone with the children most of the time. I gave them whatever Islamic education I had, and I prayed with them. Now they're all gro...
MWI-020_s11
MWI-020
CA
role_family_community
WHAT IS YOUR ROLE IN YOUR FAMILY AND COMMUNITY?
An educator, in every aspect of my life. I try to make life easy for others — God told us that, and that's what my father told us too, to help others. To tell you the truth, I don't make a difference between friends, family, outsiders, Muslims, non-Muslims — whoever needs my help, I'll help in whichever way I can. Yes...
MWI-020_s12
MWI-020
CA
belonging
WHAT DOES BELONGING FEEL LIKE HERE?
I belong to Quebec, but the government keeps telling me, over and over, that I don't belong. It's a huge — I can't find the word — the government tries its best to make me not feel I belong, although I do feel I belong. Because I've lived here — I've never lived anywhere else for this long. It's been fifty years. I was...
MWI-020_s13
MWI-020
CA
followup__do_you_feel_you_belong_here_are_you
DO YOU FEEL YOU BELONG HERE — ARE YOU SEEN AS FRENCH/QUEBECOIS?
I have to share this with you. The government can keep on talking, but the people around me, they make me feel good. They don't discriminate against me, and life goes on as we want it to go on. The government can keep making rule after rule — who's following that rule? You will have one or two here and there, hijab-wea...
MWI-020_s14
MWI-020
CA
followup__do_other_faith_communities_face_the_same_restrictions
DO OTHER FAITH COMMUNITIES FACE THE SAME RESTRICTIONS?
The Jewish community here is a very old, well-established community — Jewish people are involved in politics and everywhere, so they're very well established, very powerful. We can't compare ourselves to them; we're not that powerful yet. The Muslim community is very new, and it will take time to establish itself. We h...
MWI-020_s15
MWI-020
CA
akhirah
HOW DOES YOUR AWARENESS OF THE AKHIRAH SHAPE THE WAY YOU LIVE?
I live toward the Akhirah — when I follow my faith, I'm taking care of my Akhirah. I live according to how the Qur'an guides me, and that's supposed to be my Akhirah. If I'm not doing anything wrong, if I'm not cheating, if I'm following the commandments God set out in the Qur'an — I counted twelve, I don't know why — ...
MWI-020_s16
MWI-020
CA
qadr_control
HOW DO YOU MAKE SENSE OF WHAT IS BEYOND YOUR CONTROL?
It's very easy, if you're a person of faith — my life is very God-centered, Alhamdulillah. If something goes wrong, I believe there must be some wisdom in it, and I ask God to show me that wisdom — that something went wrong in my life for a reason, because there must be something good in it. The Qur'an tells us not a l...
MWI-020_s17
MWI-020
CA
long_run_practice
WHAT MATTERS MOST FOR PRACTICING YOUR RELIGION IN THE LONG RUN?
No, my children don't have children yet. One of my daughters is a professional athlete. My daughters don't wear the hijab, and I've never asked them to, because hijab is something you have to be comfortable in — if you're not comfortable in it, it doesn't serve its purpose. As long as you're modestly dressed, that's be...
MWI-020_s18
MWI-020
CA
followup__how_do_you_understand_la_cit_and_how
HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND LAÏCITÉ, AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOU?
I don't get their version of laïcité. For me, laïcité means I'm allowed to do and believe and wear whatever I want — if I want to walk around in shorts, that's none of their business; if I want to wear a bikini, none of their business; if I want to cover and wear a niqab, that's also not their business. Laïcité means f...
MWI-020_s19
MWI-020
CA
followup__have_specific_laws_bill_21_bill_94_bill
HAVE SPECIFIC LAWS (BILL 21, BILL 94, BILL 9, ETC.) PERSONALLY AFFECTED YOU?
I have speeches on that — if you want, I can share them with you and you can take excerpts. But I'm not really the right person to ask, because, as I told you, I've never personally had problems because of these laws.
MWI-020_s20
MWI-020
CA
heart_intention_practice
WHAT IS THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOUR HEART, INTENTION, AND OUTWARD PRACTICE?
I'm a very peaceful person — nothing really bothers me, honestly. If I have good health, food on my plate three times a day, I don't need much. Of course, three cups of coffee during the day is good too — one in the morning, one mid-morning, one at three p.m. — and I'm happy. I'm the kind of person who feels everything...
MWI-020_s21
MWI-020
CA
submission
WHAT DOES SUBMISSION TO ALLAH MEAN TO YOU?
Everything. Submission is everything — if I'm not submitting to the will of Allah, then I'm not a Muslim.
MWI-020_s22
MWI-020
CA
liberation
WHERE IN YOUR LIFE DO YOU FEEL MOST LIBERATED?
Liberation, to me, means doing things that make me happy, that make me comfortable. I don't really know where — I'm always liberated. I speak my mind; what I have inside comes out of my mouth. I speak my mind. I'm liberated.
MWI-021_s00
MWI-021
CA
ordinary_day
ORDINARY DAY AND WHERE FAITH SHOWS UP
Oh my goodness — an ordinary day in my life? There are several, I would say. I've had several stages in my life, because now I'm a very senior person, and what I've done as a routine has of course varied depending on my age. So where do you want me to start? Because if you say today, my routine today is very different ...
MWI-021_s01
MWI-021
CA
belonging
WHAT DOES BELONGING FEEL LIKE HERE?
Absolutely, I feel I belong. What helped me to integrate was that I married a man — my late husband was from Quebec, but he was from the English-speaking minority in Quebec. He was not French-speaking, he was English-speaking. But I felt integrated because I had in-laws who lived here, who lived in Quebec. I also worke...
MWI-021_s02
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_did_faith_show_up_in_a_given
HOW DID FAITH SHOW UP IN A GIVEN DAY?
What I found — and this was maybe in the 80s and in the 90s — was the difficulty, for instance, of praying. That is a big hurdle for Muslims, because you can't just say, well, I want to find a space, a private space, for praying. And then you have to justify it. People would say it's very well accepted to have breaks —...
MWI-021_s03
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_did_the_new_law_come_about
HOW DID THE NEW LAW COME ABOUT?
I can tell you how the new law came about. This is part of the CAQ, the Coalition Avenir Québec, and that is invoking not neutrality but secularism, laïcité — that you cannot have prayers in public space. What triggered it was that during the demonstrations for Palestine, sometimes they coincided with the afternoon, be...
MWI-021_s04
MWI-021
CA
followup__do_the_other_universities_have_a_chapel_or
DO THE OTHER UNIVERSITIES HAVE A CHAPEL OR A MUSALLA?
I would say musalla here, because there are four universities in [CITY 1] that I could talk about. So there is [UNIVERSITY 2] — and I think I did mention [UNIVERSITY 2]. [UNIVERSITY 1] has a specific place for prayers for Muslims, so a musalla. There is the [UNIVERSITY 4] — I don't know what the situation is there. Sam...
MWI-021_s05
MWI-021
CA
followup__is_the_law_targeted_at_muslims_or_applied
IS THE LAW TARGETED AT MUSLIMS, OR APPLIED TO OTHER RELIGIONS TOO?
Absolutely. Well, the law doesn't say we are against Muslims. Muslims are the most affected by it. When we think of the increment in the Asian immigrant community, there is no debate about being a Buddhist, or about synagogues, for instance. It says "religious symbol," but it's not only the law, [INTERVIEWER], it's how...
MWI-021_s06
MWI-021
CA
self_change_over_time
HOW HAS YOUR SENSE OF YOURSELF AS A MUSLIM WOMAN CHANGED OVER TIME?
I see that there are more challenges, and this has actually encouraged me to learn more about Islam — when you're going to debate, when you're going to talk about your religion, you have to be informed. So I try to have solid arguments. I read, and I don't know whether the articles I've written are still on the website...
MWI-021_s07
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_do_you_seek_that_knowledge_and_has
HOW DO YOU SEEK THAT KNOWLEDGE, AND HAS THAT CHANGED WITH THE POLITICAL ENVIRONMENT?
Books. And yes, it has changed, because at the beginning there wasn't so much Islamophobia, not so many attacks directed so directly at the religion. I was also more on the political side rather than the religious side, because in the Middle East — I come from Egypt — during those fifty years it was always a kind of tu...
MWI-021_s08
MWI-021
CA
followup__is_any_of_it_directed_at_muslims_here
IS ANY OF IT DIRECTED AT MUSLIMS HERE, OR AT MUSLIMS IN GENERAL?
In general, what's happening in the States is not kind to Muslims either. I get the emails of CAIR, C-A-I-R, and it's not — how do you say? I don't want to use the word pleasant. It's not reassuring, let's say. It's not reassuring. However, the difference between Muslims in the States and Muslims here is that in the S...
MWI-021_s09
MWI-021
CA
followup__what_does_integration_mean_to_you_and_what
WHAT DOES INTEGRATION MEAN TO YOU, AND WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
One word: integration means that you have access to the job market. This is the best way to get integrated. The immigrants who come here from Muslim countries are, of course, not seniors — they are at a stage of their lives where they are active members of society. And how do you become active, how do you become integr...
MWI-021_s10
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_did_you_come_to_wear_hijab_and
HOW DID YOU COME TO WEAR HIJAB, AND WHAT DID IT DO FOR YOU?
I don't wear a traditional hijab like the hijab you are wearing. My story is very different, because when I grew up — the 60s, the 70s, in Egypt — the women didn't wear it. It wasn't known as such. There was a national attire, but the word "hijab" didn't even exist in our vocabulary. It was more those who went out with...
MWI-021_s11
MWI-021
CA
followup__was_there_more_islamophobia_after_9_11_and
WAS THERE MORE ISLAMOPHOBIA AFTER 9/11, AND DID PEOPLE TREAT YOU DIFFERENTLY?
Absolutely. Nobody attacks me. I rightly think that it's out of modesty, perhaps, that I'm covering my head. I don't look typical — I dress modestly, but I dress off the rack here. I buy my clothes mostly here from Winners; I don't know if you have Winners and others. And so I'm a Muslim, but perhaps they don't think t...
MWI-021_s12
MWI-021
CA
followup__what_does_the_larger_public_in_quebec_get
WHAT DOES THE LARGER PUBLIC IN QUEBEC GET WRONG ABOUT MUSLIM WOMEN?
Absolutely, (there is something they get wrong). There is a fear. Quebec has not had a good experience with the (Catholic) church, and that gets projected onto Muslims. They wanted to liberate themselves from the grasp of the church, and that is what they perceive as real liberation. So when they see Muslim women so at...
MWI-021_s13
MWI-021
CA
followup__have_you_personally_encountered_discrimination_before_or_after
HAVE YOU PERSONALLY ENCOUNTERED DISCRIMINATION, BEFORE OR AFTER YOU STARTED WEARING HIJAB?
Yes — there was discrimination when I was applying for a job, for sure. I did feel that there was discrimination. But you know, Madame, I think at that time I brushed it off. I didn't want to dwell on it. Whereas now I see it more clearly when it happens to others.
MWI-021_s14
MWI-021
CA
followup__feedback_on_the_study_s_questions
FEEDBACK ON THE STUDY'S QUESTIONS
We should identify the sample. So, for instance, we should say this is geared to Muslim women, Muslims who identify themselves as Muslim, and also to women who wear the hijab — that's another aspect. Then the age group. I'm very sensitive to age now, with a mirror, since I'm a senior, so I can see that in the different...
MWI-021_s15
MWI-021
CA
followup__where_if_anywhere_does_faith_show_up_in
WHERE, IF ANYWHERE, DOES FAITH SHOW UP IN A GIVEN DAY?
Let me see. Tell me about an ordinary day in your life — I think that one is an icebreaker, more or less, unless there was something specific behind it, because the second question is related to it: where, if anywhere, does faith show up in a given day. This is crucial, I think. If we identify ourselves as Muslims, the...
MWI-021_s16
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_would_you_describe_yourself_and_your_community
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF AND YOUR COMMUNITY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER MET A MUSLIM WOMAN?
This is where we talked a lot last time. Just one notice here: I think that there are now a lot of visible Muslim women, because of the immigration in the city — many, many visibly Muslim women wearing hijab and so on. It's outside [CITY 1] that Muslim women have no presence, and there they are represented by the media...
MWI-021_s17
MWI-021
CA
followup__are_there_places_where_you_feel_you_can
ARE THERE PLACES WHERE YOU FEEL YOU CAN OR CAN'T BE VISIBLY MUSLIM?
This is regulated by law now in Quebec. There are places where you can't pray, whether it's at school, at work, or in the park. No, you can't be visibly Muslim, in the sense that you can't practice your religion. It's okay if you wear a hijab, but if you are going to pray for Eid, let's say collectively, then this new ...
MWI-021_s18
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_do_you_manage_the_eid_salah_in
HOW DO YOU MANAGE THE EID SALAH IN [CITY 1]?
This was a new phenomenon — as I mentioned, this came about after the protests that we had for Palestine. Usually we didn't have Eid Salat in the park. One reason is the weather, and another reason is that we all restrict ourselves to mosques. But then it became popular after the demonstrations, that people want to pra...
MWI-021_s19
MWI-021
CA
followup__do_you_seek_religious_knowledge
DO YOU SEEK RELIGIOUS KNOWLEDGE?
Yes, actively. Yes, I would say only in times of crisis. On a daily basis I don't read much about religion, except for the Qur'an and the prayers. When do I seek knowledge? When I want to write an article, let's say for the Islamic New Year, or for the birth of the Prophet, peace be upon him, this kind of thing. That's...
MWI-021_s20
MWI-021
CA
followup__have_you_encountered_representations_of_muslim_women_that
HAVE YOU ENCOUNTERED REPRESENTATIONS OF MUSLIM WOMEN THAT WERE INACCURATE, AND WHAT DID YOU DO?
I would write — whether it's to the editors, whether they publish it or not, but I do react.
MWI-021_s21
MWI-021
CA
followup__a_difficulty_you_faced_and_how_you_made
A DIFFICULTY YOU FACED, AND HOW YOU MADE SENSE OF IT
No — when we face difficulties, we don't make sense of them, otherwise we would accept them. But in general, there are different types of difficulties, right, whether it was at work or whether it was socially and so on. So I don't know where you would want the focus to be. Well, as a Muslim in general, we have the cop...
MWI-021_s22
MWI-021
CA
followup__did_they_identify_what_they_were_dismissing_you
DID THEY IDENTIFY WHAT THEY WERE DISMISSING YOU FOR?
Other difficulties that we can mention are at work, for instance. I felt that at one time I was dismissed just out of discrimination. So this is the kind of difficulty perhaps that you want to ask your interviewees about — just to put more emphasis on the workforce and the conditions here in Quebec especially. This is...
MWI-021_s23
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_did_you_rationalize_that_sadness
HOW DID YOU RATIONALIZE THAT SADNESS?
Absolutely, absolutely, yes, that was — I didn't rationalize it. I refused, really, to go back down and start from the beginning. Essentially what they were saying was, okay, you can teach, but you wouldn't be permanent, you would be just teaching certain courses — so it's like you're starting over. I said no, I'm not ...
MWI-021_s24
MWI-021
CA
followup__are_there_internal_or_external_expectations_placed_on
ARE THERE INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL EXPECTATIONS PLACED ON MUSLIM WOMEN?
The external, this is easy to answer. I mean, there are so many stereotypes about Muslim women, so I don't have to elaborate on what they are, because you know them, and you know how Muslim women are viewed outside, or how they are represented in the media. Let's say that that would be a good representation, or a good ...
MWI-021_s25
MWI-021
CA
followup__is_there_a_time_you_felt_that_expectation
IS THERE A TIME YOU FELT THAT EXPECTATION WAS PLACED ON YOU AS A MUSLIM?
Yes — all the laws that come from the government of Quebec. This is what they think Muslim women are: submissive, with no agency, you name it. It's as if we had no personality, as if I'm not like other women in general. So yes, not only by the government, but by the media, which is essentially what people are reading a...
MWI-021_s26
MWI-021
CA
followup__who_are_the_people_you_feel_most_responsible
WHO ARE THE PEOPLE YOU FEEL MOST RESPONSIBLE TO?
Responsible to, or responsible for. I understand, but I don't feel responsible to anyone. That's the case now, for sure. I felt responsible towards my parents and my family in the sense that I didn't want to hurt their feelings, although when it came to my life versus their feelings, I chose my life. That is a very sim...
MWI-021_s27
MWI-021
CA
followup__looking_back_did_you_get_what_you_set
LOOKING BACK, DID YOU GET WHAT YOU SET OUT ON?
Yes, I think. I lived my life — I'm not going to say I lived the life I wanted to live. It doesn't mean that it was successful, it doesn't mean I have much to talk about, to brag about. I thought I'd make a lot of money, I thought I would be in a career, I thought this and that, which didn't happen. But on another leve...
MWI-021_s28
MWI-021
CA
followup__and_who_do_you_feel_responsible_for
AND WHO DO YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR?
So this is responsible to. Now, responsible for — not a hundred percent, not directly, but I still feel I have a responsibility towards my sisters, towards nephews, nieces, the extended family. I feel that I'm still very much attached to them. I feel responsible in a broader sense for Muslims — and this is political, o...
MWI-021_s29
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_do_those_values_shape_your_choices
HOW DO THOSE VALUES SHAPE YOUR CHOICES?
Choices as an activist — let's say that I make time for my activism. First of all, to get informed: this takes a lot of time, I do read a lot politically. And also acting, whether you're writing, meeting politicians, taking positions, signing petitions. Believe it or not, this takes a lot of time. So those are the ones...
MWI-021_s30
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_do_you_understand_your_role_within_your
HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR ROLE WITHIN YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR COMMUNITY?
Those are two distinct things, although related. One hadith that comes to my mind, [INTERVIEWER] — I'm paraphrasing here — is that the best Muslim among you is the one most useful to the community. This has been really a leading principle for me: that your religion is not only about dogma, it's not only about praying. ...
MWI-021_s31
MWI-021
CA
followup__what_does_belonging_feel_like_for_you_here
WHAT DOES BELONGING FEEL LIKE FOR YOU HERE IN QUEBEC?
I think we have covered this. Am I seen as a Québécoise — not Québécois, you have to put the feminine of the word? Yes and no. I am definitely a Québécoise — I mean, I love Quebec, I love my life here, so yes, I feel like a Québécoise. No, because people make you feel different. It's not that I feel different; it's how...
MWI-021_s32
MWI-021
CA
followup__is_that_through_their_words_or_through_their
IS THAT THROUGH THEIR WORDS, OR THROUGH THEIR ATTITUDES?
Through their words, for sure. There is a distinction between a native Québécoise and an immigrant — and it's not only terminology, it's also laws, it's a lot of things.
MWI-021_s33
MWI-021
CA
followup__who_is_a_native_qu_b_cois
WHO IS A NATIVE QUÉBÉCOIS?
They would define native Québécois as white Catholic — that's it, white Catholic. Born in Quebec — okay, not even. (An Egyptian Muslim born in Quebec,) no. It certainly has a racial connotation, yes. And also, now they are excluding the English minority, although there is a sizable English-speaking minority in Quebec. ...
MWI-021_s34
MWI-021
CA
followup__are_you_seen_as_a_qu_b_coise
ARE YOU SEEN AS A QUÉBÉCOISE?
That's in response to the question — let me see here — are you seen as a Québécoise? That's the actual question, and the short answer is no, except of course that since I live here, I'm a resident in [CITY 1], and I do pay taxes. For that purpose I'm certainly a Québécois. Otherwise, no — no one would qualify me as a Q...
MWI-021_s35
MWI-021
CA
followup__what_happens_with_the_second_and_third_generations
WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE SECOND AND THIRD GENERATIONS, BORN HERE?
That's a good question. I don't have much experience with the kids, so I'd rather not answer this question, but I would refer to a journalist, actually, at [PROVINCIAL NEWSPAPER 2], which is a very big newspaper — her name is [NAMED COLUMNIST], and she's not Muslim, she's Christian of Lebanese extraction. She mentions ...
MWI-021_s36
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_do_you_experience_the_relationship_between_your
HOW DO YOU EXPERIENCE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOUR FAITH AND QUEBEC?
I think it's a strange relationship, and I think it's not understood. I don't think we're given credit for loving Quebec, or for wanting to contribute to the welfare of Quebec. This is the general political speech — that immigrants are seen as a problem, and that our contributions are not valued as they should be. Afte...
MWI-021_s37
MWI-021
CA
followup__have_you_been_made_to_feel_or_seen
HAVE YOU BEEN MADE TO FEEL OR SEEN AS A THREAT?
Afraid? No, no, I wouldn't go as far as that. Perhaps not welcome, because of my ideas — especially because I'm such a strong advocate for Palestine. So when I was in a working environment, I was seen as hostile to Jews, as anti-Semitic. That would be more the attitude. Since you mentioned the word threat — yes, there...
MWI-021_s38
MWI-021
CA
akhirah
HOW DOES YOUR AWARENESS OF THE AKHIRAH SHAPE THE WAY YOU LIVE?
If you want to say that you're a believing Muslim, you have to factor in the Day of Judgment. Everything is projected with the idea that one day we're going to have to answer for our thoughts, for our acts, for how we're spending our money, how we're disposing of our knowledge. I think that's basic and central to the f...
MWI-021_s39
MWI-021
CA
followup__when_something_is_beyond_your_control_how_do
WHEN SOMETHING IS BEYOND YOUR CONTROL, HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT?
This again is a philosophical question, [INTERVIEWER] — what do you want me to say? We Muslims believe that our life is predetermined; I don't want to say only a certain part of our life. That this was our nasib — is this a word familiar to you? Very much so in our Arab Muslim culture: if things happen to you, then ins...
MWI-021_s40
MWI-021
CA
followup__what_matters_most_over_the_long_run_for
WHAT MATTERS MOST OVER THE LONG RUN FOR MUSLIMS BEING ABLE TO PRACTICE THEIR RELIGION?
I think, again, that we have to be flexible, in the sense that religion is not only — frankly, is not — outside manifestations. It's also how you behave, how you live, how you treat others. Maybe this relates a little to a previous question, where I mentioned the hadith that the best Muslim is the one who is the most u...
MWI-021_s41
MWI-021
CA
followup__what_do_you_think_about_the_new_law
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE NEW LAW ABOUT PRAYING OUTSIDE?
I think it's a discriminatory law, and I think it's politically motivated. We're heading into elections, and it gives the politicians an opportunity to elaborate on a familiar theme — that we Muslims are strange, that we have strange habits, that we practice the religion only in order to impose it. That's what has good...
MWI-021_s42
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_do_you_understand_la_cit_and_how
HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND LAÏCITÉ, AND HOW DOES IT SIT WITH YOUR OWN LIFE?
Laïcité, in the strict sense of the word, is that the state, l'état, has to be neutral in terms of religion — not favoring one religion over the other. For instance, in the so-called Muslim countries, because they're not Muslim any more — again, I'm referring to Egypt — on the Islamic occasions the head of state would ...
MWI-021_s43
MWI-021
CA
followup__when_you_say_places_of_authority_do_you
WHEN YOU SAY PLACES OF AUTHORITY, DO YOU MEAN TEACHERS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS?
Yes, yes. First, with Bill 21, they had designated specific people — teachers, judges, prison guards, and what else? There was a fourth category also, where they would say those are women. They didn't say women, so it would be women and men in places of authority — in effect, where you would have influence over others....
MWI-021_s44
MWI-021
CA
followup__has_the_law_personally_touched_you
HAS THE LAW PERSONALLY TOUCHED YOU?
No, no, because I go back to the fact that I'm not in the work market, I'm retired, so it is not affecting me directly. But it's affecting me in the sense that all our efforts at [MUSLIM WOMEN'S ORGANIZATION 1], when I was part of it, were directed towards defending those women, writing about how unfair this law is goi...
MWI-021_s45
MWI-021
CA
followup__do_you_feel_the_state_oppresses_you
DO YOU FEEL THE STATE OPPRESSES YOU?
Yes, definitely. I think this is a kind of oppression. It goes to your pocket, and that's very important — especially in a materialistic society like the North American context, where money is so important. People see you here, and the first question that comes to their mind is, how much money do you make? In many ins...
MWI-021_s46
MWI-021
CA
followup__when_you_wear_hijab_or_perform_an_act
WHEN YOU WEAR HIJAB OR PERFORM AN ACT OF WORSHIP, IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON INWARDLY?
Yes, it was a pleasure, but this is a personal question. Awareness, yes — certainly when I cover, before going out, I am aware that I am covering because I'm a Muslim, and that this is the way I want to be dressed and to be seen.
MWI-021_s47
MWI-021
CA
submission
WHAT DOES SUBMISSION TO ALLAH MEAN TO YOU?
Again, I think you're getting into questioning to what extent we are practising our religion, or bringing forth things that are more intimate. I wonder — let's skip that one.
MWI-021_s48
MWI-021
CA
followup__how_do_you_understand_liberation
HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND LIBERATION?
How God has sent liberation — this is quite clear to me. It's to act according to what I want for my life — very much so — within the limits of my religion, rather than being limited by conventions, traditions, society, that kind of thing. I want to live my life the way I want to live it. This being said, I wouldn't sa...
MWI-021_s49
MWI-021
CA
followup__is_there_something_i_should_have_asked_that
IS THERE SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE ASKED THAT I DIDN'T ASK?
Yes, I think perhaps we should talk about the contribution to the community. Most of your questions were personal. I feel that perhaps you should add: how far have you been engaged with the community, what have you done for the community — that kind of question. Absolutely, you're right. I'm sorry — I even have a noti...
MWI-021_s50
MWI-021
CA
followup__what_have_we_gained_from_the_west
WHAT HAVE WE GAINED FROM THE WEST?
I wonder if you would be interested also in knowing what we have gained from the West. We talked at length about our concerns, but what makes us stay in the West, if it is a choice? We're not compelled to stay here, by and large — we're not refugees. Speaking about myself, I came here willingly, knowing to a certain ex...
MWI-022_s00
MWI-022
CA
ordinary_day
ORDINARY DAY AND WHERE FAITH SHOWS UP
An ordinary day in my life: I wake up early, before dawn, to do my prayer, then go back to sleep. I wake up again when my alarm goes off at seven, have some breakfast, and sit on my balcony to look at my little flower garden, which is beautiful, and get some sunlight. Then, depending on what the plan for the day is, I ...
MWI-022_s01
MWI-022
CA
describe_self_community
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF AND YOUR COMMUNITY?
Myself and my community — okay, I am a Western-educated Muslim convert. I came in through Islamic Sufism. I've written about my experience. I met a Sufi sheikh in Switzerland many years ago, and I converted to Islam a year later — actually in Turkish Cyprus, which wasn't part of Europe at that point — and then I marrie...
MWI-022_s02
MWI-022
CA
self_change_over_time
HOW HAS YOUR SENSE OF YOURSELF AS A MUSLIM WOMAN CHANGED OVER TIME?
Oh, yeah, that's interesting. When I first became Muslim, I was sort of trying to be Turkish, because my shaykh was Turkish, and his wife and his daughters introduced me and taught me about Islam — that's Hanafi Sunni. So when I came in and was newly married, I was forced to internalize that when I was confronted with ...
MWI-022_s03
MWI-022
CA
living_here_practice
HOW DOES LIVING HERE SHAPE HOW YOU PRACTICE OR SHOW YOUR FAITH?
Well, I'm a hidden Muslim. Publicly, I do not wear hijab. I do not want to go around with a target on my back. That started around 2010, when I had to go out and get a job. I had to interview for a job, because I knew perfectly well that nobody was going to hire me as a converted Muslim. The Muslim businesses themselve...
MWI-022_s04
MWI-022
CA
seeking_knowledge
DO YOU SEEK RELIGIOUS KNOWLEDGE, AND HOW?
I consider it one of my pillars of faith to listen to and watch and read Quran, listen to tafsir, learn — anything I can. I see my faith like a part of my body, if you like. I have to nourish it with good food, I have to make sure it gets exercise and water, that it flourishes and grows, because honestly, if you don't ...
MWI-022_s05
MWI-022
CA
misconceptions
WHAT DO PEOPLE GET WRONG ABOUT MUSLIM WOMEN OR HIJAB?
Honestly, at this stage in my life, I don't expect people to understand. I don't place the burden on them of understanding who I am and my journey — that's one of the reasons I wrote this book, just to document it. My daughters read it and they were like, "Oh wow, we never realized," and I'm like, well, why would you? ...
MWI-022_s06
MWI-022
CA
followup__how_do_we_create_change_or_better_coexistence
HOW DO WE CREATE CHANGE OR BETTER COEXISTENCE?
Well, I think the secret lies in our humanity, in our hearts and our intentions. If our intention in our interactions with others is to nurture the faith of that person and meet their heart to the best extent that we can, then I think we're going to be fine. But if our intention is to try to force some kind of ideology...
MWI-022_s07
MWI-022
CA
difficulty_and_faith
TELL ME ABOUT A DIFFICULTY AND HOW FAITH HELPED YOU MEET IT
As a revert — as a convert, I prefer to call myself a convert rather than a revert, because a revert sounds to me like a diagnosis — a big problem for me is the way I get treated by the mainstream community when I go to a mosque or a community gathering. There is often prejudice, condescension. I'm an old woman, but ma...
MWI-022_s08
MWI-022
CA
expectations
WHAT INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL EXPECTATIONS ARE PLACED ON MUSLIM WOMEN?
I think there's both. Generally, Muslim women put far too much pressure on themselves — I'm not surprised there's this rate of depression, mental illness, and anxiety among Muslim women, I've witnessed that many times, and it's systemic, tied to the isolation and the kind of family structures they're expected to mainta...
MWI-022_s09
MWI-022
CA
followup__how_and_where_are_you_able_to_pray
HOW AND WHERE ARE YOU ABLE TO PRAY DURING YOUR DAY?
Well, now there is a law that we're not allowed to pray in parks — it's kind of treated like taking drugs, not allowed in public places. At [NATIONAL POSTAL SERVICE], when I first started working there, there used to be a prayer room, but because it's Quebec, they closed it and used the pandemic as the excuse. So they ...
MWI-022_s10
MWI-022
CA
hijab_journey
HOW DID YOU COME TO WEAR HIJAB, AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?
I do (need to prove it) — that's kind of all I can say. Members of the Muslim community recognize other Muslims, especially within the cultural communities, by their affinity with other members of their group — it's kind of an anthropological thing. This is less the case with younger Muslims who've been through the Wes...
MWI-022_s11
MWI-022
CA
responsibility_bonds
WHO DO YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO, AND HOW DO THOSE BONDS SHAPE YOUR CHOICES?
Well, obviously my family — not so much my ex-husband, although we're friends and remain in contact, like he tells me when Ramadan's beginning (though I can tell anyway because I get the alerts on my phone), but that sort of thing is helpful. My daughters — I have three daughters, they're absolutely wonderful, I feel m...
MWI-022_s12
MWI-022
CA
role_family_community
WHAT IS YOUR ROLE IN YOUR FAMILY AND COMMUNITY?
My role within my community, at this point, I've decided is through my writing — as a writer and a Sufi, someone who's promoting spirituality. That's what I see my responsibility and my role as. Within my family, my responsibility is as a mother, a coach, a support.
MWI-022_s13
MWI-022
CA
followup__learning_to_speak_french_in_quebec
LEARNING TO SPEAK FRENCH IN QUEBEC
In England we all learned French at school, and it was always my worst subject — possibly I was even worse at Latin, but that's a close call, since they let me stop doing Latin within a year. I had to take what we call the O-level three times; I think in the end they gave it to me because they felt sorry for me and I k...
MWI-022_s14
MWI-022
CA
followup__do_you_feel_you_belong_here_are_you
DO YOU FEEL YOU BELONG HERE — ARE YOU SEEN AS FRENCH/QUEBECOIS?
No. When I first came here, my husband — third generation Quebecer — and I were talking to a very nice, very respectful Quebec man, and I said, well, my husband's a Quebecer, [HUSBAND'S NAME]'s a Quebecer, because he was born here and his mother was born here, and he said, "mais il n'est pas Québécois de souche" — whic...