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I was one of those girls.
Those girls who lie awake reminiscing about their first time, how it was so much more or less perfect than they'd thought it would be... I was doing that. But I was having a hard time calling what we did 'perfect', when what we shared was so different than what could be qualified by as simple a word. No, it was perfect... for us. It was... beautiful, and terrifying, and empowering, and humbling, and... everything. Just as Peeta was to me. All those things, and everything other nameless word that could describe how... completely loved... I felt.
Now I could flip out. I, Katniss Ever- no, I'd never be her again. She was part of the past, a past I had just hours before promised myself I'd release my grip on. I wasn't going to allow a relapse into the sullen, unreachable persona. Ever. Distraction over, I continued my thought. I, Katniss Mellark, did not have the sense to take a particular precaution. Of course I know how the body works, but In loving my husband, I may have inadvertently accomplished what I promised myself, and him, could never be permitted to happen. I needed to get out of this bed before I woke him with my silent ranting; Peeta was remarkably sensitive to unspoken tension, even in his sleep. I slid out from under his arm and slipped the warm pillow from behind my head into his hold. The top drawer was already open, so I retrieved whatever clothing would make the least noise. I pulled on the sleep shorts and clingy gray shirt and pulled the bedroom door behind me. It closed with the softest click.
These houses were made to stand the test of time, and so the stairs never squeaked, no fittings had loosened, no maintenance had been required in three years, and considering the decades the house stood empty and settling on their respective foundations, this was craftsmanship to be celebrated. This aside, I had a terrifying problem, or might have one, and I certainly wasn't celebrating.
I spent a few minutes pacing the dim kitchen, the low light from the dying stove fire coupled with the waning moon barely illuminating the room, and deciding whether to try my mother's number... she didn't sleep much anymore and there was a possibility she'd be awake at this hour. But then I'd have to tell her about yesterday, and... no, I wanted Peeta holding my hand when I made that call. Better yet, the new, forgiving Katniss wanted her to learn our news in person. But then... the clinic. Of course, they had to have something that could test me. And then, help me figure out how... if...
I leaned back against the counter in frustration. My back knocked a precariously-placed container into the sink with a clatter. I froze, listening for stirring upstairs.
"I've never seen the Mockingjay this edgy," a low, amused voice projected from the living room. I knew that voice. A shadowy form rose from my father's chair and ghosted into view.
Layne Paylor was much thinner than I remember. Wisps of dark hair escaped the tight bun she always wore, and her eyes were shifty, hungry. She wore her rebel soldier attire, wrinkled and torn in places, and dirty, as though she'd walked through dust and bramble all the way from the Capitol. "I'm not here to hurt you, Katniss. I want to talk." Her voice was smooth, controlled, with a thin, sharp edge of sadness and pleading. Her left hand rested below her hip, her right outstretched, palm up, toward me.
Training with the soldiers in Thirteen, I knew it was standard protocol to carry a holstered blade at the small of the back, concealed, and tipped toward the dominant hand. You could usually see the outline through the uniform shirt. Most tipped to the right.
Paylor's, however, tipped to the left.
I reached behind me, retrieving something long and sharp from the sink, shuddering at the noise the fallen container made in my fumbling.
"I see you're still quicker than the rest," she relaxed her façade. "Take your time, I'd actually prefer a fair fight from you." Paylor's mouth curled into a smile, her politician's smile. The dark, beady eyes held me where I stood. The handle I gripped was wet; it was one of Peeta's bread knives, but it would do.
"Why?" I breathed. It was the only word of an infinite number of thoughts that I was able to produce in sound. And appropriately, it summed up every question to which I needed an answer.
Paylor laughed lightly, so identical to the rebel leader I'd come to know. I had to give her credit; she'd fooled even me. "Is that, 'Why are you here?', or more of a 'Why aren't my guards here to protect me?', or maybe even..." her words dripped venom... "'Why didn't you just kill us while we slept?'"
I let the last one sink in. If she was here and able to subdue the ever-watchful Lem and Sedge, she could have, of course, done that. Why drag this out? My confused hesitation prodded her forward.
"Not exactly sure why I'm here, eh?" Paylor tilted her head to the side, sizing me up, attempting me to distract from her "I thought it would be obvious. Maybe you're not so quick after all." She rocked her weight to one foot and counted on her right fingers, her left hand still planted lightly at her hip. "Let's see... first, you get your dear old buddy the Captain to go digging into my past, like it's anybody's business. Then you set most of the old crowd after me; I have to tell you, sending your precious fellow Victors to do your dirty work was a nice touch, all while trying to keep me from knowing you were pulling the strings. And after everything I've done for this country... do you think that was very nice of you?" Paylor had never struck me as condescending. I wasn't so sure I'd known her at all, and that would be a huge disadvantage. If she was able to hide the truth so well, and from so many who should have seen, then I hadn't ever truly seen the extent of her already superior tactical ability. I barely suppressed the urge to shudder, fighting to keep my face even, maybe a little confused. I was rapidly becoming less sure of my ability to win if this came to blows. I wanted my bow. My own knife, even. But I had nothing but a worn-out bread cutter.
Paylor's face shifted from superiority to malice. "You ruined me!" she spat. "You and your pathetic, damaged pet, he's the best protection you have, isn't he? All that pent up lust for you, and with all that venom they gave him, he's the perfect mutt bodyguard! And after all you did to him, he still wants you... and your cronies call me manipulative?" her eyes shifted, barely in focus, but razor sharp. Her lips trembled with rage. "You know what you deserve? I'll tell you. When I finish you, and I promise it will be slow, I'm going to leave your corpse for him to find, and your blood on his fingers. No punishment could be sweeter for the two of you... a situation you finally have no hope of surviving, and he has to live with your death on his hands. The Games are over. I win," she cackled softly, "and you lose."
I had to speak, or do... something. I had to draw this out, talk her down or subdue her, and I had serious doubts about my ability to do either. But I had to do something, anything. I couldn't let her hurt Peeta. If anyone was going to hurt him, it would have to be me. If I can't take her down, maybe... I can take her with me. My eyes reactively widened a bit at this realization. That was it. It could be the only way. He couldn't be allowed to think he'd hurt me. He had to know it was her. It was the only way for him to remember, always, that I loved him.
"The wheels are turning now, are they?" Paylor snickered. Evil didn't even apply to the words describing her face, her voice, the way she trembled with her hatred. She took another small step forward, passing the threshold into the kitchen.
I gulped. The window on my only opportunity for what I could barely call a victory was rapidly closing. "I... I have to know..." I stumbled, "Would you have brought back the Games?"
She barked a laugh at this, truly amused. That's when I saw Peeta.
The blond hair over his forehead, an eye, shrouded in darkness so I couldn't see the color, peering around the corner. He had to be standing on the bottom step, just two short feet from Paylor. He'd never moved so quietly. Not in his life, I would have wagered.
Paylor was too entertained at my question to notice my eyes flit away for the second it took to notice him. "Of course not, "I'm not stupid," she insisted. "Those Games had run their course decades ago. I had... more entertaining plans. But you took that from me. You took everything! I deserved this! Me! It was my turn! My turn!" Her anger was immeasurable, her rant escalating in volume and unmatched in intensity. She shifted her weight to the other foot, and peripherally, I could see Peeta taking advantage of every sound and movement to slowly creep out from behind the wall. Something in his hand glinted, reflecting the light from the stove fire.
My hunting knife.
"Wha-" Paylor squeaked, her left hand on her blade, spinning to face the source of the orange flash, her right arm already blocking his attack. I dashed forward, plunging the knife from my hand into her back, the sickening crunch of the serrated edge contacting against her ribs. Her body stiffened, bracing, and then fell back into me. I shifted aside and let her fall to the floor. Her own knife had left her hand.
"Katniss..." Peeta's eyes met mine, I could see them now. The irises were rapidly contracting. His hands grasped at his side, and his knees buckled. My body turned to ice.
No no no no nonono...
Blood. It trickled down his pale skin, catching at the hem of his pants, soaking in, turning the gray fibers to rust. I didn't remember moving, but I caught him as he fell, with strength I didn't know I had, lowering him to the ground. The blood began to pool on the floor at his back. "Katniss..." he choked. "What... did I just do..."
"Shh, you'll be fine. You had a tremor, everything's fine, you'll be fine..." my stomach clenched, breaking up the words.
"She... she..." he mumbled, eyes struggling to stay locked on mine, but fluttering.
This wasn't happening. He couldn't leave me, not now. Not after everything. A low keening bubbled up inside me and spilled over until the insides of my skull were sure to crack. It took mere seconds to realize the sound was real, and it was coming from me.
A bloody hand touched my cheek. "Kat-niss... love you... al-ways..."
"No! Peeta, Peeta please, please stay with me, please!" I wailed. The world was slipping away, the air being sucked from my lungs, the blood from my heart, the soul from my body. And still I screamed. Hands pulled me away. Held me down, kept me from him. Took me somewhere else, wrapped me up. Light was brighter. Voices, none that mattered. I saw the stars, the blackness, it swallowed me whole. Tightness bound me, kept me from moving, from struggling. A sharp pain in my gut stabbed me, over and over. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself alive. Somewhere no one would find me. So I could join him.
"He's gone, Gale..." The words fell out of my mouth like vomit, I couldn't hold them back. He was hovering, perched on a bag of flour. I was back in the cellar, the old quilt pulled over me.
"And what if he is." His eyes were sympathetic, but firm as their steely color.
"Then I want to be gone, too." There was no hesitation.
Gale shifted. "And what if he isn't."
"He is. I saw."
"You assume rather quickly."
"I saw. He died protecting me. Like always." Like always. Like... Always.
"He's stronger than you gave him credit for. And more worthy than I did."
"He's gone." Gone. Gone, gone, gone gone gonegonegone...
A small, pale, delicate hand touched my face. I would know this hand, anywhere.
"Prim?" my voice quivered.
Her dimpled grin, those sparkling blue eyes. She laughed. "Don't be sad, Katniss. And don't give up. Don't ever. For me, please? So many people love you."
My face crumpled. "But he's gone, Prim. He's gone. I need him and he's gone." The little puff-sleeved arms pulled me in, settling my head in her lap. Tender fingers stroked my hair.
"Shh. You were right, I do love my new brother," she whispered. "But... you get to keep him a while longer."
My heart stuttered, the abyss of despair ejecting me. I met her eyes again. So many things I wanted to say, to tell her, and I couldn't find the words. She leaned in to kiss my cheek, and then she was gone.
The tightness returned, or maybe, I was just aware of it again. I was bound and warm, too warm... the smell of blood and antiseptic hung in my nostrils. It hadn't been a dream. My eyes were sealed shut. I pressed out weakly, trembling, with my arms, my elbows, my legs were curled, knees below my chin.
"Settle down, Sweetheart." Haymitch. Great. "Seriously, I'll have them sedate you again," he barked softly when I didn't comply.
"Tell me," I mumbled.
"Tell me... tell me tell me tellmetellmetellme!" my volume increased on each word until I was shrieking.
"Your boy's okay, Sweetheart."
My struggling slowed, like I'd been plunged in tar. My eyelids finally cracked. The gruff old man, hazy in my view, had me wrapped in a heavy blanket and curled in his lap, pulled against his chest. I was suddenly aware of my weakness. If he hadn't been holding me, I was sure I'd have fallen to the floor. "Peeta..." I muttered softly.
"C'mere," he shifted, and slowly stood, keeping me pinned to him. My legs unfolded, and he carried me a few steps, then placed me gingerly on my side. I was still wrapped, but the blanket fell away from my shoulders. "Be careful, they had to operate on him."
Peeta's pale form shifted, flickered before my unsteady eyes. He was still here. Tubed and taped, tethered to lifegiving technology, but he was here; machines, clicking and beeping softly, guarding over him. I felt Haymitch raise the bed railing behind me. My brain was so foggy... my free arm wobbled when I tried to lift it; I wanted to reach out, to hold my husband, but I wasn't getting anywhere. Haymitch must have sensed my difficulty, and reached over me to help settle my arm across Peeta's chest.
"Thank you..." I murmured.
Haymitch snorted. "Like I said, be careful with him."
His shadow moved away and chair legs creaked. A sigh, and then, silence.
Peeta's chest rose and fell under my arm. My vision twitched spastically. I'd been sedated before, this was nothing new or different, but the weakness never ceased to be frightening. I had only a small amout of control over my body, but just enough to brush my thumb back and forth over his thinly garbed shoulder. Suddenly, my breaths weren't enough to fill me, and my chest contracted. It took a moment to realize I was crying.
And I didn't know why.
Peeta was alive, in my arms, he would survive this. He hadn't left me; I got to keep him. Paylor would never, ever hurt anyone again. She could never take what I'd fought so hard to protect. I'd just seen my sister, or at least, my mind had briefly brought her back to me, and I was comforted by the miniscule contact. I had nothing to cry about. I had everything. For once, nothing was being taken from me.
"Nice... to see you... too." Peeta's face was turned toward mine, his eyelids low, dark circles beneath, but a tiny smile on his lips.
"Peeta... so sorry... so sorry..." I sobbed, slurring every word.
He chuckled lightly, then winced. "They drugged you too, huh? S'okay. M'fine." His tubed hand came up to rest on my arm. "Don't cry. You'll make me cry, and it'll hurt."
What a sight we must have been when the nurse came in. She just smiled, took Peeta's vitals while I lay there like a slug, even took my pulse for good measure. I guessed Peeta had been awake earlier, this all seemed routine to him.
"Thank you," he said to her after she adjusted his IV drip. I knew the feeling well, a surge of pain relief that could make your eyes roll back. He must have been tolerating quite a bit of discomfort, but hid it from me, of course. I wanted to cry again but thought better of it, pushing the feeling down into my gut.
"You two should sleep," the nurse suggested, patting the hand that rested on Peeta's shoulder. He nodded, his willingness dragging me down with him. The last thing I felt before unconsciousness claimed us both was his soft breath in my hair.
Clarity. It was always overwhelming after drugged slumber, everything was brighter, more crisp. More headache-worthy, like a hangover. I had control of my limbs again. Peeta snored lightly, the tubes in his nose askew. I brushed a few shaggy blond locks from his forehead. He didn't stir. He looked so peaceful, moreso than I'd ever seen him. I pressed my lips to his cheek.
I no longer felt the railing at my back; they had pushed another bed up against Peeta's to catch me if I rolled over. I was touched by this act of thoughtfulness, and thankful, because I needed to get up. I slowly extricated myself from the heavy blanket, being careful not to disturb Peeta. The tiles were cool under my feet. Haymitch's chair was empty, but there was a stack of clothes in his place, some of our own clothes, in fact. I changed, keeping my eyes on the door so I could cover up quickly if someone came. Peeta slept on, they must have kept a sedative in his IV. I knew he might be put off about it later, but right now, he was resting, and that's what mattered. I kissed him again, silently promising not to be gone long. The clinic, or any hospital room for that matter, was too confining. I needed air.
I nearly missed the familiar form standing guard outside the door. His arm hung in a sling, his face drawn.
"Lem? Oh thank goodness. Are you all right? What happened?" I mentally berated myself for the rush of questions.
"I'm... so sorry, Ma'am. I should have seen her coming. I wasn't diligent enough. We were... overpowered. I'm so sorry we couldn't protect you." Failure was so hard for a man like Lem to admit. His mouth opened and closed like there was more.
I shook my head. "I'm sure if you could have done something, you would have," I reassured him. "Where's Sedge?"
His eyes fell, and he shook his head. A ball of ice dropped into my stomach. "I'm so sorry..." was all I could say. We stood there a minute, in honorable silence. I brought my hand to his good shoulder. "We can't tell Peeta. The guilt would be too much for him."
Lem nodded. "Yes, Ma'am, that's what Mr. Abernathy said as well." He sighed back whatever emotions threatened to surface. "Mr. Weaver has recalled me, I leave in a few hours. You should tell Mr. Mellark the three of us were recalled together. And please give him my best."
"I will." I rose on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, for everything."
He gave a small, respectful bow, and turned to leave. I never saw him again.
I dashed to the back door of the clinic and had to grab the handle for support. Taking off like that after coming off a sedation usually brought on a bout of dizziness and nausea, rather unwelcome considering I wasn't sure what time it was or how long it had been since the last time I ate, and then it dawned on me that the last time was at our toasting. It felt like ages ago. I took several long, slow breaths and pushed the heavy door open.
It was late, or early enough, that the stars were out. The moon was full now. So it's only been a day, I thought, leaning on the railing. The cool, mid-fall air was still and familiar, sweet with the scent of dying foliage, calming. I'd only stay a minute, I had to get back to Peeta, but I felt better having gotten outside. I won't dwell. I won't. What happened, happened. No one could have known it would happen this way. Peeta's going to be all right. She won't hurt anyone else. She can't hurt anyone else...
"Gonna make sense anytime, Sweetheart?"
My head whipped around. Haymitch leaned against a roof support in the shadows, dangling his legs over the side of the platform. And not surprisingly, he had a bottle in one hand. Something made me go sit next to him.
"See Lem?" he asked me. I nodded. "We in agreement?" I nodded again. He turned the bottle over in his hand. It had just occurred to me that it was still unopened.
"I won't lie to him. You'll have to. He wouldn't believe me anyway." My stomach soured at our plotting. This was exactly the kind of thing I swore I'd never again do to anyone, Peeta least of all. Haymitch tipped his head in assent. "I mean it, Haymitch. This is the one thing I'll keep from him and nothing else." I shook my head. "I wish I didn't know."
Haymitch considered the bottle, but anyone who knew him could tell his mind was on other things. "He tell you what happened?"
I shook my head. "Not sure I want to know that, either." I wiggled my toes. They felt stiff against the cold concrete. "What about Paylor? What are they saying?"
"Unofficially, a clean-up crew took her body and is sending it to be buried in some remote part of the desert. Can't tell from looking at your kitchen that anything ever happened there. And.. the official word is that she came after you, and you killed her in the struggle."
"But, that's pretty much what actually happened," I said, stating the obvious. "Isn't the official word usually something more... politically correct?"
Haymitch snickered. "I think the public is tired of all the political nonsense."
I couldn't agree with that assessment more. "What about the District? What do they know?"
"The same story. Everyone's pretty shaken up, going from a high to a low so quick like that. A bunch set up a vigil on the front steps... bet you're glad you came out the back." He adjusted, setting his bottle down. "Don't get any ideas... party's still on. Least, Sae says it is."
"She hasn't been around much... did we do something?"
"Nah, she's still embarrassed about the last time you were in here, she thinks she made things worse between you. That woman's got a great heart, but no tact. Kinda like yours truly." He groaned, getting to his feet. He held his hand out.
"C'mon. Wanna show you something."
The clinic was a newer building, completed just a few months after we returned home the first time, so the walls were still fresh, the fixtures new and shiny, and the equipment updated, if not the best of its kind. There were only two floors, but it was more than enough to accomodate the district, and was a welcome relief after having no real medical staff on hand and watching my mother and sister deal with some of the most gruesome cases on our kitchen table.
Haymitch stopped at the end of a corridor and took my shoulders to turn me to face the next one. An opaque plastic tarp hung from ceiling to floor, waving from the air vent pointed in the general direction. This distracted me only for a second, from the temporary sign taped off to one side.
FUTURE HOME OF THE PRIMROSE WARD, CENTER FOR EXCELLENCE IN CHILDREN'S HEALTH
DEDICATED BY THE HAWTHORNE FOUNDATION
A rush of emotion flooded me, displacing the strength to stand. I fell to my knees, the strong hands on my shoulders easing the way down. The air wouldn't come, my lungs wouldn't expand. 'All I can do now is to make sure her loss will be remembered, and that it won't have been in vain.' Those had been his words. And I had no words to describe... whatever I was feeling. Whatever it was, I hadn't quite felt anything like it.
I must have remembered how to breathe. Haymitch was patient, if he had any remarks, he kept them to himself. "How? When?" I blubbered, hoping he knew what I meant.
"Well, I suppose they were paying him enough, 'cause I got wind he was starting some kind of charity to get kids access to doctors even if they can't pay. And when... heck, I dunno. But they're building one of these in every hospital in every district, so I imagine it's been in the works for some time."
"He never told me."
"Would you have let him?" He must not have expected an answer, for he pulled me to my feet and led me stumbling back toward Peeta's room in a daze. Why didn't he just tell me? Why did he have to be so damn cryptic? The answer was obvious, of course. Gale wasn't the bragging type. Fiery, yes, generous with his family, but reserved with everyone else. But Prim... yes, he regarded us as family. So in essence, he was taking care of us, once again. Making sure she was remembered, and making sure I'd remember that he'd loved her, too. Something inadvertently occurred to me.
"Haymitch, you go check on Peeta... I have to... I have to do something."
He looked at me funny, then released my arm. "What should I tell him?"
I grinned. "That I love him."
His face went from concerned to grossed out in a second flat. "I will do no such thing," he scoffed. He crossed his arms and watched me walk away.
To say I was scared was an understatement. The relief at remembering that I'd needed to do this was fleeting as the anxiety of my predicament took hold. But there was a sudden conflict that plucked at my heartstrings. It was tiny, so small that I couldn't even call it deviation from my resolve, but it was there. A what if, of sorts. I couldn't ask just anyone for help. Heck, I didn't want to ask anyone. But this was better than many alternatives, I was sure.
Simm looked up from a mess of papers when I knocked on the doorframe. "Katniss! Please come in, or do you prefer Mrs. Mellark now? Don't mind the mess." He rose, indicating to the chair across from his desk. I clicked the office door shut behind me.
"Katniss is fine, Mrs. Mellark makes me sound like Peeta's mother," I said nervously. I shook off the thought of that terrible woman, and my rambling.
"Of course," he nodded. "I hear Peeta is doing much better. So what can I do for you?"
I opened and closed my mouth a few times. It was so hard to say, so personal and humiliating. I gulped and steeled myself. "Can I trust you to keep something to yourself?" My voice made me sound very small.
"Naturally," Simm stated, professionally. "It's part of our highest moral code to keep all medical information private. Is anything wrong?"
"Not exactly. Well, I don't know if it is... or not..."
"Are you feeling all right?"
"I feel fine. It's just..." Why was it so hard to ask?
"Do you need a test of some kind?" he guessed.
"Uh... I think so."
He smiled, knowingly. "I'll be right back."
I heaved a sigh. My bare foot bounced, sending vibrations up my leg, up my spine. He hadn't been gone more than a minute, but it was a very, very long minute.
He pulled his chair up to mine. "Press your finger here." He held up a sleek, gray device with a small screen and a round receptor. I placed my finger over the round part, and it poked me. They used something similar at registration for the Reapings, I remembered. I voiced the passing thought.
"Yes, it isn't very reassuring, is it?" he wrinkled his nose, then the box beeped. "Well, there you have it. Negative." He turned the box for me to see. "Should I offer my condolences or congratuations?"
The corners of my mouth turned up in sheer relief. A sigh escaped me.
"Congratulations, then. In which case, I have a number of preventatives, if you're interested."
I left his office with a pocketful of sample tablets.
Peeta was just rousing when I entered his room. "Out, Haymitch." I held the door open.
"Feisty's back," the older man laughed, pushing himself up out of his chair. "You be nice, Sweetheart," he patted my shoulder. I clicked the door shut behind him.
"Katniss?" Peeta looked confused at my none-too-subtle entrance. He held his hand out to me. I blew out the breath I was holding. I rounded to the other side of the bed, where the extra space was, and climbed back in. Peeta weakly tucked me into his good side, and I reached up to absently comb his hair with my fingertips. His free hand plucked the oxygen tubes from his nose and let them fall unceremoniously over the bed rail.
"Feeling better?" I asked. My expression must have been more pleasant than I thought, for he smiled and held me a little closer.
"Yeah. Moreso now that you're here." He laughed a little, leading to a cough and then a wince, then another smile. I just rode it out with him; he wouldn't have liked me to fuss. If the pain was unmanageable, he'd let me know. "Are you all right?" Of course, he worried more about me than himself.
I nodded. "Just relieved you're still with me."
"I'll never leave you. Ever," he vowed, pressing his lips to my temple. "Tell me what happened," he said, a little offhandedly. He was trying to keep things light. I knew this as code for 'just the essentials', that he was shaky on the reality, and responded in kind.
"She cornered me," my voice was low and even. "You snuck up on her with my hunting knife. She saw the blade's reflection off the wall behind me, disarmed and stabbed you, and I killed her. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't hurt anyone," I reassured him.
He nodded, but the warring relief and regret within him was palpable. "I was so afraid I'd done it, even more that I'd hurt you. When I woke up and saw Haymitch holding you, I was so relieved. He said... that you wouldn't let go of me... that it took three people to pull you away. He made me promise not to tell you... sorry for this Haymitch... that he gave the order to have you knocked out. He was real worried about you. About us." Peeta sighed. "That man truly cares. More than we'll ever know, I think."
"Peeta, can we talk about something else?" the words rushed from my mouth. Not that I wasn't... touched, at the old mentor's soft interior, but the nagging from earlier was still in mind. I felt the packets crinkle in my pocket between my hip and the mattress.
"Sure, of course."
I forced myself to relax, to resist tensing at these thoughts, to avoid clamming up. "I really, really want to talk about this with you. I hope it doesn't cause a fight; you deserve to know how I feel about things, even when my feelings change. Please, please try not to be mad, okay?"
"You can tell me anything, Katniss. I love you," he reassured me.
"I love you too." I placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "More than you know, I'm sure."
"I know you do, love. Tell me what's on your mind."
I sighed. "I can't think what might have happened differently if I'd not gone downstairs that night... but that's not the point. I got out of bed because I was afraid." My words came more and more quickly, and I struggled to stay calm. I needed to be rational if he was to understand. "Not of you, and not of what happened between us. It was... beautiful, and amazing, and so much more than I have words for... but I didn't think to... to use anything." I let the words sink in.
His eyes lowered. "Oh. I... I didn't, either." Another struggle welled up in him, this time between bitter longing and deepest regret. "I'm so sorry, Katniss. I wasn't thinking."
"Don't you dare blame yourself, Peeta." The soft, subtle force of my words brought his eyes to meet mine. "It's... it's okay. I just made certain that nothing... had resulted. And I have... assurances, that it won't in the future, unless we choose to."
He nodded, eyes a little conflicted. "If there are any steps I can take as well, I hope you'll let me," he began. "But you don't have to be afraid of the words, Katniss. They won't turn me into a lovesick mess." He sighed, considering. "I do have this... desire, within me... to make a baby with you. To have a family with you one day, if you were willing. And please be assured, I won't ever, ever ask you to fulfill that need unless you absolutely wanted it too. After what just happened, I think maybe you're right. Maybe things are too unstable. I'm certain that I'm too unstable. If my meds can't prevent me from wielding knives in our own home..."
"You were protecting me, Peeta."
"Was I?" he shook his head slowly. "Something inside me wanted me to kill her. Like I was programmed to do it, some sick side-show planned for Snow's illegitimate child. Maybe he saw all this coming, used me to... to get rid of her. How a father can do that to his own child..." he shook his head, pain entering his voice. "I didn't know it was there, I don't know what triggered it; I'd seen her tons in Thirteen and then on television, and I felt nothing then. What if there are others, just waiting for a trigger to make me snap? If we had a child together and I..." his breath hitched. "I'd never forgive myself." He took a few breaths to calm himself. "It's just something I can never have. They would never be safe." Peeta sniffled. "As long as I have you, I think I'll be okay with that."
"I won't..." I muttered.
I shook my head. "This is... all kinds of messed up." Peeta's arm tightened around me. "I feel so, so guilty. When I thought I could be... pregnant," I forced myself to acknowledge the word, if only in a whisper, "I was terrified. But then I thought I'd lost you, and suddenly, I wished I was. Like I wanted there to be something of you I could keep after you were gone. It was horrible and selfish, and after I knew you were all right, I went back to being afraid." My face crinkled, my resolve breaking. "I'm a terrible person."
"No, Katniss... shh..." he soothed, stroking my hair. "It was only natural for you to feel that way. It's all right." He let me cry, held me like the good husband that he was. "I think... maybe we should back-burner this conversation for a few years. See how we feel about it after some time has passed, hmm? It's nothing we need to worry over right now. But I'm glad you told me how you feel. Please don't ever stop doing that, okay?"
I nodded into his shoulder. I told him about Gale's gift, and his letter. The gentle soul I'd married teared up a little, so blissfully grateful to my best friend, for leaving something so profound in memory of my sister.
When Peeta lulled into a morning nap, I went to find a phone. The public ones lined a busy hallway, and I stared at them for a minute, then thought better of making a private conversation fodder for public consumption. One of the nurses took pity on my roaming around and let me use a vacant office, and I wondered sadly if he would have afforded the convenience to just anyone. My fingers trembled as they dialed.
I swallowed. "M... Mom?" I didn't remember a time I'd sounded more timid. I mentally kicked myself.
"Katniss? Oh thank goodness." I heard an audible sigh. "I've been calling everyone I can think of, no one would tell me anything. Are you all right? Is Peeta all right?"
"We're fine, Mom." I paused. "How did you know?"
"It's all over the news, little one. I've been worried sick. Even when you called after that cryptic propo of Peeta's was aired, my stomach is still in knots. So is it true? Is she really..."
"Peeta and I... we... we were married a few days ago."
"I... I'm happy for you, little one. Well, I guess you're not my little one anymore then, are you?" Her voice was sad, but peaceful. The latter was an undertone I hadn't heard in years, not since I was a child.
"There's going to be a party in a couple weeks, at the end of the harvest. Greasy Sae's idea. I'd... we'd like it if you came."
"I'd like that."
"Thank you, Mom." I paused. I did that a lot when it was my mother on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry I've been so distant the past few years. I'm really trying to work on that."
My mother sighed again. "Me too, little one. I spoke with Hazelle yesterday," her voice perked up a bit. "It seems the kids miss their home. They're arranging to move back to Twelve. They're excited to see you."
"Oh. I didn't know they were considering that. It will be nice to see them, too."
"I'm glad you called, Katniss."
I swallowed. "Me too, Mom."
"I have to hang up now, but Katniss?"
"Do you think you can keep dire situations to a minimum from now on? My poor heart can't take much more."
"I'll try, Mom."
"I love you, Katniss."
"I... I love you too, Mom."
I got to come home four days later. Haymitch and a few others held off the entourage of wellwishers. Katniss fought me on walking home, but in the end, she allowed it, but only because I resigned to letting her have full command of my recovery once we arrived. She held my hand and matched my snail's pace; I couldn't tell her how much it hurt, but I needed the walk. I needed to feel the pain, to move past what happened and to process all the things we'd opened up about. A walk is the best way to do that, and it couldn't have been a better trade than to have the woman I loved making the journey with me. My beautiful wife.
I existed now in a state of bliss that I'd never imagined possible until I was immersed in it. 'Katniss Mellark'... I couldn't stop thinking it. Well, I'd thought it plenty, thought it to death for years, but it's different when it's a reality. I couldn't have been more grateful for her endless presence at my side. The greatest gift, for her to love me in return... it was worth the wait.
A work crew was hard a work on my old house, preparing it for the Hawthorne's arrival. I'd called Hazelle after Katniss' conversation with her mother, and insisted they live next door. Katniss says I was being far too persuasive. I hoped I hadn't tread on any boundaries; it was just important to me to have Katniss' extended family closeby. The Village needed more children.
A familiar face greeted us from our porch when we reached the steps. "You two are looking well," the good Doc told us with a smile.
"Thank you for coming, Dr. Aurelius," I greeted him. It was a difficult minute getting up the stairs, but when I made it up I shook his hand. We talked for hours, or I did, actually; Katniss poked her head in once in a while until the good Doctor invited her to join us. He told of Weaver's resignation and voluntary submission for his role in bringing Paylor down, having taken full responsibility for the actions that may be construed as terrorism. He was set to be incarcerated indefinitely, a tragic hero. And we knew, Mr. Weaver would have it no other way.
In the weeks that followed, Katniss hunted, and I baked. The Hawthornes were a welcome sight in the yard nextdoor. Haymitch's geese visited, and on days Haymitch was able to will himself from utter stupefication, he'd come by to collect them, stopping for a meal, and sometimes a story.
Mrs. Everdeen arrived on the night before the harvest festival. Their reunion was bittersweet; Katniss cried for hours in our bed that night, but the way she clung to me when her tears ran dry told of heartfelt forgiveness. The love I saw in her mother's eyes when we came downstairs for breakfast in the morning stirred a longing in my heart. I was glad Katniss still had this chance.
We'd asked for the occasion that evening be held not for us, but in dedication of the hard work and unification of all who had contributed to the district's prosperity, and to honor those we had lost along the way. Our fellow citizens found ways to recognize us, however, much to Katniss's embarrassment. She bashfully consented to dance with me, and that was all I needed to make the starry night memorable.
The air got colder. Katniss and Rory took to the mountainside for what game hadn't yet settled in for the winter, bringing back plenty to share among our families. Hazelle and Vick prepared the pelts, and Posy discovered a talent for creating beautiful blankets from the fur pieces. I entertained the idea of having her help in the bakery come spring, and do some painting on the side; she would make a brilliant art tutor in a few seasons. Twelve's education system could use a fresh mind.
There were nights for both of us, when the dreams still trickled in. When the terrors and tears ended, we'd always talk about it. Just a few words here and there, feelings. We both knew the next step. I knew she was brave enough. And where I wasn't, she helped me. She always did.
"Peeta... we have to. We've put it off long enough," Katniss whispered.
I sighed, my heart clenching in my chest. "All right."
She waited for me, in front of the fire. I needed time, time to bring myself to get out of bed, time to pull on a shirt, time to clunk down the stairs, time to wrap my head around it. What I wanted to say, how I needed to say it. And what it should look like.
Katniss met my eyes, her loose curls blazing from the firelight in the hearth. She had the book in her lap. Our book. I took my time, pencils in hand, and sank down next to her.
"Are you ready?" she asked, her eyes searching mine.
I looked away from her briefly to the portrait over the mantle, a piece I'd done of Prim in the meadow among the summer dandelions. I'd insisted on its placement there. There were times I felt I knew Prim, from my wife's stories, from the sketches I'd done. The depiction of her, so central in our home, gave me strength to do the things that were hard, to forgive those who had wronged us, long enough to ensure they were remembered in writing. I returned my gaze to the face of my partner, my best friend, the other half of my heart, and offered a small, brave smile.
"Yeah." I took the book, opening it so I could draw on one side, and she could write on the other. "I think I am."


Affordable council houses for Wolverhampton
City of Wolverhampton Council has given the green light to the construction of 43 affordable council homes by the energy and regeneration specialist ENGIE in the Heath Town section of the city.
Work on the development is due to start in autumn 2018 and should take around 18 months. The 43 houses will open to tenants at an affordable rent, and the developer is committed to ensuring the homes are also energy efficient.
Cllr Peter Bilson, deputy council leader and cabinet member for city assets and housing said: " This is a major m... You can carry on reading TheBusinessDesk.com for free, but you have reached the maximum number of pages an unregistered user can view. To register for an account, click here or login below...


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domain: geography


There are two reasons not to blame Ms. Clinton or any other Democrat who voted to support giving the President the option of going to war in late 2002.
The first was outlined by Mr. Rich himself in a column on your pages on November 27, 2005. In this he excuses those Democrats who supported the President by pointing out that they lacked the information that the President had. He says that "They didn't have access to the President's Daily Brief that Mr. Waas uncovered [Waas stated in the National Journal that "the U.S. intelligence community had no evidence linking the Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein to the [9/11] attacks and that there was scant credible evidence that Iraq had any significant collaborative ties with Al Qaeda]. They didn't have access to the information that German intelligence officials spoke about to the Los Angeles Times [that Curveball, the defector who reported on Iraq's WMD capabilities, had been discredited and that this information was shared with the US well before the November 2002 vote].
The second is the timing of that vote. It is hard to remember at this late date the sequence of events from 2001 up to the present day. We need to be reminded that until November 2002 (that is until the President had the support of the Senate and the House) the Iraqis refused to allow UN inspectors to undertake inspections for WMD on Iraqi territory. By the end of November, inspections under the direction of Hans Blix were under way. The vote to grant the President war powers had achieved its purpose, the Iraq regime was being called to account for its actions.The vote was a magnificent piece of realpolitik
We have forgotten too that Hans Blix called on the US and Britain to give his inspectors the "hard intelligence" that they claimed to possess so that his inspectors could go to check out that information on the ground. The failure of the US and Britain to do so should have roused our suspicions that all was not well with the intelligence -- its invalidity has since been amply demonstrated.
Where we went wrong -- the Senate, and the House, and the country, and all of us -- was the failure to recognize the importance of the inspector's reports in mid February 2003 that there was no evidence of immanent danger from Iraq. That should have led to a re-evaluation of the war power resolution and its potential repeal based on the changed situation. We failed to do so and we are reaping the tragic consequences today.
So Senator Clinton can be blamed for not insisting on revisiting the vote in the light of the new information from the inspectors; she cannot be blamed, indeed she should be praised, for the original vote that put the inspectors back in Iraq.
Full disclosure: I support Barack Obama in the primaries, but believe the attack on Senator Clinton for her Iraq war vote is ill-advised. I also think that the New York Times should do better in explaining the historical context of that vote.
Sent to New York Times


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domain: artistic


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Edition X artists announced
20th Nov 2014
We're delighted to hear that Oene van Geel – who was a participant on Take Five Europe Edition I - has been awarded the VPRO Boy Edgar Award for 2013.
The VPRO Boy Edgar Award, the most important prize in the Netherlands for jazz and improvised music, has been awarded to alto violinist and composer Oene van Geel (1973). As part of the prize, Van Geel will compile a special concert night at the Bimhuis on June 9, 2013. During that occasion he will be presented with the prize, consisting of a sum of €12,500 and a sculpture made by Jan Wolkers.
Alto violinist/composer Oene van Geel (1973) is musical adventurer. Influenced by jazz, Indian music, chamber music and free improvisation, he applies his virtuoso improvisational qualities and talent for composing to a wide range of musical activities. He has toured Europe, India, Japan, the United States and Canada. As a musician he is currently working on Zapp 4, Estafest, The Nordanians and his new multi-media project OOOO. Besides playing with these formations, he is regularly invited as an improvising jazz soloist.
According to the jury, van Geel is a distinguishing artist because of his superior sense of swing, outstanding ability to improvise, sound knowledge of jazz history and a permanent curiosity for other musical genres, that makes him exemplary in a very untypical way at the cross-over scene.
The VPRO Boy Edgar Award is awarded each year to an artist that has been distinguishing for quite some time because of his significant contribution, creatively, to the buoyancy of Dutch jazz and improvised music. The Boy Edgar Award Foundation has been founded at the end of last year, when Music Center The Netherlands was closed down, in order to conserve the prize and its future. The organisers of the award ceremony and the concert night are the Boy Edgar Award Foundation, together with the Bimhuis.
For more information on the prize, an overview of earlier prize winners, the complete jury report, a biography of Oene van Geel and photo material, visit the website www.boyedgarprijs.nl
Take Five Europe, Serious, 51 Kingsway Place, Sans Walk, Clerkenwell, London EC1R 0LUT: +44 (0)20 7324 1880 F:


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This report outlines how fossil fuel subsidies could be reformed to simultaneously address social issues in the short term without jeopardizing progress towards long-run climate targets. It first provides a concise overview of fossil fuel subsidies in the G20. It then discusses alternative ways to shield consumers against the effects of higher energy prices. Finally, it provides recommendations how the G20 could work toward socially balanced energy pricing.
The project aims to facilitate a focused, well-founded and trustful exchange between leading German environmental organisations and think tanks on the climate agenda of the G7 and the G20. The aim is to invite persons to the expert dialogue who have distinguished themselves through years of political commitment in multilateralism and who are multipliers in their field. The expert dialogue will identify the most pressing climate policy issues for the G7 and the G20 and discuss recommendations for action.

domain: economics


In the world of photography, there's a meticulous art form that takes your breath away - high end retouching. this sophisticated process transforms ordinary images into stunning works of art. in this post, we'll explore the origins of high end skin retouching and make up retouching, and delve into the
Techniques behind high end photo retouching. so, let's embark on this captivating journey to unveil the secrets of professional photo editing.
The origins of high end retouching
The history of high end retouching can be traced back to the early days of photography. before the era of digital imaging, photographers used manual techniques to retouch negatives and prints. they employed various tools such as brushes, pencils, and airbrushes to enhance the tonality, contrast, and details of their photographs.
Over time, these traditional retouching methods evolved as technology advanced. the advent of adobe photoshop in 1990 revolutionized the industry, providing photographers and retouchers with a powerful digital tool to perfect their images. high end skin retouching and make up retouching gained prominence in the fashion, advertising, and beauty industries,
Where flawless images became the norm.
Today, high end photo retouching is an essential part of modern photography. it's a highly sought-after skill that requires precision, creativity, and a keen eye for detail.
Techniques of high end photo retouching
The process of high end retouching is intricate and multifaceted. it involves a combination of various techniques to achieve a polished, professional look. let's explore some of the core techniques used in high end skin retouching and make up retouching.
One of the fundamental techniques in high end skin retouching is frequency separation. this method separates the image into two layers - one containing the texture details and the other holding the color and tone information.
By working on these layers independently, retouchers can effectively smooth skin tones without compromising the image's texture. this results in a natural, flawless complexion that retains its original character.
Dodge and burn
Dodge and burn is a technique borrowed from traditional darkroom printing. it involves selectively lightening (dodging) or darkening (burning) specific areas of an image to enhance its tonal range and contrast. in high end skin retouching, dodge and burn is used to contour the face, accentuate the features, and create depth.
It's a versatile technique that can also be employed for make up retouching to intensify the colors and add dimension to the makeup.
Color grading and correction
Color plays a vital role in high end photo retouching. retouchers must maintain color consistency, correct color imbalances, and create harmonious color schemes that evoke the desired mood and atmosphere. techniques such as color grading and color correction are employed to refine the overall look of the image, ensuring that the
Colors are vibrant, accurate, and complementary.
Hair and make up retouching
In beauty and fashion photography, hair and make up retouching is a critical component of high end photo retouching. retouchers meticulously refine the hair, removing stray hairs, enhancing the shine, and perfecting the style. similarly, make up retouching involves cleaning up any makeup smudges, highlighting the makeup's textures, and intensifying
The colors. the result is a polished, professional image that exudes glamour and sophistication.
Background and object removal
A clean, uncluttered background is often essential in high end photo retouching. retouchers use various tools and techniques to remove unwanted objects, smooth out the background, and create a seamless, distraction-free canvas for the main subject.
This ensures that the viewer's attention remains focused on the subject, without any visual distractions.
High end retouching is a fascinating and intricate art form that has shaped the world of photography for decades. with the ever-evolving technology and software, retouchers continue to push the boundaries of what's possible, creating stunning images that captivate and inspire.
By mastering techniques such as high end skin retouching, high end photo retouching, and make up retouching, professionals in the industry are able to elevate their craft to new heights, leaving an indelible mark on the world of visual storytelling.


Data Brief Release: November 8, 2019 at Central Falls Town Hall
Above: Mayor James Diossa of Central Falls welcomes RIPHA and the panel. (Dr. Nori-Sarma (Brown School of Public Health), Rachel Calabro (RI Department of Health), Alison Archambault (RI Department of Environmental Management), and Scott Avedisian (Rhode Island Public Transit Association).
Eco RI reviewed the data brief and release event. https://www.ecori.org/pollution-contamination/2019/11/10/diesel-bus-emissions-play-major-role-in-impairing-rhode-islands-air-quality
RIPHA's 22nd, Annual Meeting October 17th, 2019


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McCarthy, who over the weekend referred to as on House committees to analyze the Manhattan district attorney’s probe of Trump, reiterated his view that the potential prosecution of the previous president was politically motivated. Graham mentioned that Cyrus Vance, the former Manhattan DA whom Bragg succeeded in 2021, had “handed” on prosecuting the hush-money case against Trump. But Mark Pomerantz, a former prosecutor within the DA’s office, wrote in a e-book that he had Vance’s approval to pursue a case against Trump associated to the cost to porn star Stormy Daniels, NBC News reported. Bomb threats briefly halted operations at courthouses in decrease Manhattan, including one the place a grand jury has been hearing evidence against Trump in the legal probe. “I definitely hope it is not the case” that Trump might be indicted as a result of Bragg’s probe of a 2016 hush money payment to porn star Stormy Daniels, Haley mentioned in a Monday night interview on Fox News. Grubbs grew to become interested in how religion might impact perceived pornography addiction throughout his undergraduate days at a conservative university.
In the island metropolis of Key West, Duval Street is the hub for sightseeing, points of interest, cuisine infused with local flavor, cold libations, and shopping! Teeming with exercise, live music, bicyclists, pedicabs, and locals with birds on shoulder, this 1.25-mile stretch is also house to epic people-watching. If you are trying to see some of the streets and shops in Ocean City, NJ, view the cameras exterior Rauhausers Candies on Asbury Avenue. You can view any pedestrians who may be leaving the store or who’re just walking on the sidewalk. Live camera feed is positioned at the south end of present building going through north. Take a have a look at all the action going on at the Hilton Head Outfitters shop!
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- If you want to change your address, file Form 8822 or Form 8822-B.
- At the surface, carbon dioxide is launched and the calcium carbonate is deposited, forming travertine, the chalky white rock of the terraces.
- As a fellowship of recovering addicts, Sex Addicts Anonymous presents a message of hope to anybody who suffers from sex dependancy.
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List of users who left the servers with characters/wishes/kakera. The solely complaint I actually have with the animation is using photographs/videos of real-life imagery. At the danger of sounding like a super-otaku, I would say 3D pictures do not belong in the world of 2D. Many fans will visit sites depicted in anime, games, manga and other forms of otaku tradition, this habits is named “Anime pilgrimage”. The commercial company views anime as a worthwhile software for advertising campaigns in international nations due its popularity and excessive reception.Anime performs a job in driving tourism to Japan. In surveys held by Statista between 2019 and 2020, 24.2% of tourists from the United States, 7.7% of vacationers from China and 6.1% of tourists from South Korea stated they were motivated to go to Japan due to Japanese well-liked culture. In a 2021 survey held by Crunchyroll market research, 94% of Gen-Z’s and 73% of the final inhabitants said that they are acquainted with anime.
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Day By Day Newsletter
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As a mother or father, you’re probably constantly apprehensive about child rolling onto their stomach whereas they sleep. Here’s the 411 on when babies can sleep on their abdomen safely. Signs of an Overstimulated Baby Just like adults, babies can turn into overstimulated. Here, the indicators of an overstimulated baby and what to know to assist calm them down. 25 Fun Things to Do With Babies and Toddlers Educational, brain-stimulating and bonding child activities for each age and stage. 10 Signs Baby Loves You From gazing into your eyes to flashing a big smile, these are the little ways baby is letting you know you’re their favourite particular person. Introducing Tummy Time to Baby It’s an important step to assist baby grasp other milestones.
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- He elaborated these ideas in vigorous exchanges with friends like Thomas Disch, Roger Zelazny, Ursula K. Le Guin, and Joanna Russ, whom journalists have been beginning to determine as American science fiction’s New Wave.
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These embody adjusting the variety of outcomes per page and per area, filtering by the last modified date or final crawled date, and filtering by document dimension, amongst different choices. Mojeek returned applicable outcomes to most queries, however local search outcomes generally weren’t very useful. Most check searches delivered expected results, however native search outcomes had been generally inappropriate. We are funded by our readers and should receive a fee whenever you purchase utilizing hyperlinks on our web site. There are too many distractions and often inadequate time to learn every little thing quickly. But your productiveness will improve with the help of dependable textual content to speech software program like Speechify. This on-line gaming platform is fashionable, especially amongst youngsters and younger adults.
Super Mario World + Land
A Malaysian firm was then hired to provide a filtering system, however didn’t deliver a working system. A former Cambridge student has been convicted of taking photographs of girls from social media and uploading them to pornographic sites with out their permission. Websites that contain data like pornographic, playing, violent, drugs can all cause unfavorable effects on young kids. As a accountable father or mother, it’s as much as you to proactively block these web sites till your children are of the best age to access them. Product Hunt is exactly what its name implies, it’s the hunt for the perfect products available available within the market. From the most recent and biggest in tech to probably the most amazing video games, Product Hunt delivers the most effective of every thing.
If your least favourite factor about courting is wading via awkward get-to-know you conversations with strangers, then XO may just be the solution you have been in search of. The app turns up the social facet of dating with fun video games and conversation starters that give users a fun, stress-free approach to get to know each other earlier than diving into extra romantic discussions. Dating apps like Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder have bigger databases with a variety of users in all age demographics. You’ll discover folks in their 40s, 50s, and past on these apps.
You might file a separate Form W-3c, with Forms W-2c, for each establishment or you might use a single Form W-3c for all Forms W-2c. Enter all four digits of the yr of the shape you might be correcting and the sort of form you may be correcting. For the sort of form, enter “2,” “2AS,” “2CM,” “2GU,” “2VI,” “2c,” “3,” “3SS,” or “3c.” For instance, entering “2021” and “2” signifies that each one the forms being corrected are 2021 Forms W-2. For the proper format to make use of in reporting coded gadgets from field 12 of Forms W-2.
Siragusa was initially a cosplayer, appearing at character parties for children and doing hospital visits. In 2016, she was requested by streaming company Twitch to affix as a content material creator and livestream making costumes. She accepted, and by 2021, became the most well-liked feminine streamer on Twitch, recognized for her dancing, ASMR, and hot tub streaming content material. ROCKFORD, Mich. — A Rockford man is in custody on suspicions of sexually abusing youngsters. A search of his LOPD desktop pc revealed pictures depicting nude and partially undressed kids in a minimal of three different bathrooms. “This case is one other instance of the relentless efforts of the FBI and our law enforcement companions to identify those who prey on our children,” stated Charles P. Spencer, Special Agent in Charge of the FBI Jacksonville Division. Michael Cohen , Donald Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, walks out of a Manhattan courthouse after testifying earlier than a grand jury, in New York, United States on March 15, 2023.
Morton’s friends, as properly as lots of of hundreds of others, found his writing funny, too. MDWAP now has more than 228,000 followers on Instagram and a hundred and one,000 followers on Twitter. Last December, Spotify reported that listeners streamed the podcast for almost 240,000 hours in the span of just three months. “I want I’d stumbled upon it, gave it to me,” Morton told Refinery29. But the material, as raunchy and, erm, anatomically confused (Flintstone seems to assume “cervix” and “vagina” are interchangeable terms) is not even essentially the most interesting half; the author, Rocky Flintstone himself, is.


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Formaldehyde is extremely harmful. After inhalation, it can cause uncomfortable symptoms such as astringent noses, dizziness and sore throat, and can cause abortion and fetal malformations in severe cases.The same is true of family babies, because the baby’s immune system has not yet developed, and the pregnant woman has a weak constitution and poor resistance. The low -dose formaldehyde concentration in the air will also harm the health of maternal and baby.
What effect does the sensitive period affect the fetus on the 2nd to March?
The second to the third month after pregnancy is the most sensitive period for foreign chemicals, because this time is the stage of development of various fetal systems.Practicing materials such as decorative materials, paint, and coatings are harmful gases such as formaldehyde and benzene are strong carcinogens.If pregnant women often come into contact with these harmful substances within 3 months of pregnancy, they can easily cause fetal abortion.
Is it safe after March?
After the sensitive period, the fetus has three systems to continue to develop: nervous system, skeletal system, and reproductive system.These three systems may cause deformities throughout pregnancy.In addition, these pollution also has a long -term impact.If the baby inhaled too much formaldehyde and suffer from blood disease, the pregnancy test will not be found.We think there is nothing trivial during pregnancy.Pregnant women cannot have contaminated rooms during pregnancy.If the formaldehyde exceeds the standard, we will regret it.
Damage to pregnant women.
In addition to conventional hazards, pregnant women who are special groups will also aggravate pregnancy syndrome such as nausea, dizziness, vomiting, and fatigue.The pregnancy immune system will decrease, and after the formaldehyde exceeds the standard, pregnant women are more likely to poison.Light and repeated colds, cough (and pregnant women cannot take medicine often) will increase discomfort during pregnancy, and severe will cause sliding tires and even life -threatening.
How does pregnant women prevent formaldehyde poisoning?
The pollution generated during the decoration process must have heard more or less. The paint, coatings, and building materials during the decoration process will release harmful gases, and the harm of formaldehyde is particularly serious.If formaldehyde exceeds the standard, it will cause chronic respiratory inflammation, and even cause damage to immunity, respiratory and liver. The impact on pregnant women should pay special attention, because if the pregnant woman is affected by formaldehyde during pregnancy, the toxicity may affect the baby and produce defects. The following is the following.Let’s discuss how pregnant women prevent formaldehyde poisoning.
Although formaldehyde is terrible, there are still many ways to prevent it, so pregnant mothers don’t have to worry too much, rest assured to wait for the arrival of small lives.
The first is to open the window to ventilate.
It is the easiest way to open the windows and keep the air circulation in the room, which can help formaldehyde volatile, but this method takes a long time to completely remove formaldehyde.
Second, plant removal of formaldehyde.
Some plants can be placed in a new house because they have a good effect of purifying the air, such as turtle bamboo, green dill, hanging orchids, agave and so on.But the adsorption ability of plants can only play auxiliary role.It is still very good to raise some plants at home. Not only is it green and environmentally friendly, but it can also play a decorative role in a beautiful environment.
The third is to place activated carbon.
The use of activated carbon is very convenient and is favored by the public.If you put activated carbon materials at home, you can do more with less.
Fourth, Sidivo Air Purifier.
The most important point of the air purifier is to provide us with a clean and healthy home environment through purifying the indoor environment.It can not only filter granules such as ash, pollen, ash, etc., but also chemically break down some harmful gases, quickly decompose to remove harmful gases such as formaldehyde, stupid, tvoc, and improve air quality.
For the health of the pregnant mothers, you ca n’t simply see the length of time. If the air is reached after the interior decoration, you can check in immediately.Instead, if the house is closed for more than half a year after the house is renovated, but the air has not yet reached the standard, it still cannot stay.Therefore, formaldehyde needs to be removed after decoration.

domain: biology


Urban Community Land Trusts
"I am part of a growing community of makers, artists, internet activists, and community organizers who recognize that urban community land trusts are a reliable model for cultural production and neighborhood resilience in New York City and beyond.
With New York City To Be Determined (http://nyctbd.com/about) I am working toward a community land trust (CLT) for internet activists, artists, makers, and community organizers. As we are learning, by working the the New York City Community Land Initiative (NYCCLI), a community land trust is a non-profit organization that owns property, traditionally land, and leases it for truly affordable housing, local businesses, and non-profit initiatives. The deed to the land, the CLT by-laws, and the lease all require that the housing be permanently affordable. The land can never be traded or sold to the highest bidder on the private market.
I am excited about the importance of community land trusts and worker cooperatives as living examples of resilient institutions that keep individuals in dialog over time and create jobs for underemployed creative people.
I am inspired by
- Fourth Arts Block (http://catalystreview.net/
- 3B (http://3bbrooklyn.com/) as examples of just, democratic, and sustainable examples of solidarity
economies that will remain stable options for future generations because the land is held in trust." (https://www.dropbox.com/s/aker5czsrq1pfo6/NYCTBDwoolardcaroline.pdf)


text:
Self-assembling peptide (SAP) nanofiber hydrogel scaffolds have become increasingly important in tissue engineering due to their outstanding bioactivity and biodegradability. have been made to maintain the stability of SAP from enzymatic decomposition (33) and the protocol was approved by the Ethics Committee of the First Affiliated Hospital of Chongqing Medical University or college (permit no. 2014-201058). Briefly, the rats were sacrificed by an overdose of isoflurane. The bone marrow was flushed out from the femurs by a syringe (21-gauge needle) with 5 ml of DMEM/F12 made up of 10% FBS and 1% penicillin/streptomycin (200 U/ml). The cell suspension was placed into two T-25 flasks (Nest Biotechnology Co., Jiangsu, China) and cultured at 37C in an atmosphere with 95% humidity and 5% CO2. The medium was changed on the second day of culture and every 3 Rabbit polyclonal to TIGD5 days thereafter. When the cells became subconfluent, they were detached from your flask by treatment with an aqueous answer of 0.25% trypsin/EDTA for 3 min at 37C. The cells were normally passaged at a density of 2104 cells/cm2. Cells at the third passage at subconfluence were used in all the experiments. Three-dimensional cell culture technique using the chiral RADA16 In the case of cell viability assay, the chiral scaffolds at numerous concentrations (1.25, 2.5, 5.0 and 10.0 mg/ml) were prepared Anamorelin enzyme inhibitor as L-RADA16 and D-RADA16. Each of the answer was sonicated for 30 min and loaded (5 under our present experimental conditions. According to the protocol of MTT assay, after the cells were incubated for a given period of time, MTT answer was added to each sample and MTT was reduced by metabolically active cells to insoluble purple formazan dye crystals. We serendipitously observed the crystals under an inverted phase contrast microscope (Fig. 6). Of notice, the seeded cell planes were out of focus, overlapping the focused plane, resulting in relatively fuzzy images when they were cultivated on D-RADA16 scaffolds at 5 and 10 mg/ml. This fact suggests that the formazan exhibits numerous 3D morphologies at relatively high concentrations of the D-RADA16 scaffold. By contrast, clear images can be captured when the cells were cultured in the concentrations of 0.125 and 2.5 mg/ml, and the control, denoting that formazan retained 2D Anamorelin enzyme inhibitor morphologies in the control and at low concentrations of the D-RADA16 scaffolds. Open in a separate window Physique 6 Observation of formazan dye crystals in 2D cell culture method as a control (A) and encapsulated in D-RADA16 at numerous concentrations [(B) 1.25 mg/ml; (C) 2.5 mg/ml; (D) 5.0 mg/ml; (E) 10.0 mg/ml)] by light microscopy. The difference in the cells encapsulated in the 2D or 3D networks is usually obvious. Initial magnification, 100. Effects of chiral peptide scaffolds around the osteogenic differentiation of BMSCs The BMSCs were cultured in the SAP hydrogels to evaluate the osteogenic differentiation level at day 7. As a control, Anamorelin enzyme inhibitor the BMSCs were cultured with the conventional 2D cell culture method. The relative expression level of RUNX2, osteopontin (OPN) was examined by western blot analysis. GAPDH was used as an internal control (n=3). For all those proteins, the two 3D scaffold groups possessed a significantly lower expression than the 2D culture control group (Fig. 7). The results indicated that this chiral SAP scaffolds did not promote the osteogenic differentiation of the BMSCs under our present experimental conditions. Open in a separate window Physique 7 Representative blot of runt-related transcription factor 2 (RUNX2) and osteopotin (OPN) in monolayer and in RADA16 scaffolds after 7 days of culture. GADPH expression was used as an internal control (n=3). Cell migration into 3D chiral.
Tag Archives: Rabbit polyclonal to TIGD5.
Oxidative stress continues to be implicated in pathophysiology of different human Oxidative stress continues to be implicated in pathophysiology of different human
Data Availability StatementNot applicable. LCS, unique from your LCH, is definitely a neoplastic lesion (or sarcoma) without presence of inflammatory granuloma often observed in older people. LCH is normally a proliferative disease of Langerhans-like unusual cells which bring mutations of genes mixed up in signaling pathway. We discovered that MCPyV may be mixed up in Gemcitabine HCl inhibition advancement of LCH. Bottom line We hypothesized a subgroup of LCS created regarding the same system involved with Merkel cell carcinoma pathogenesis. We suggested LCH created from an inflammatory procedure that was suffered because of gene mutations. We hypothesized that MCPyV an infection prompted an IL-1 activation loop that is situated under the pathogenesis of LCH and propose a fresh triple-factor model. mutation, signaling pathway, Interleukin-1 loop model, Triple-factor model, ITIH4, Interleukin-17 History Langerhans cell neoplasms are split into two distinctive illnesses, the Langerhans cell sarcoma (LCS) and Langerhans cell histiocytosis (LCH). Langerhans cells situated in skin, work as sentinel or antigen-presenting cells that may capture invading infections . We uncovered the partnership between Merkel cell polyomavirus (MCPyV) and both of these diseases act like Epstein-Barr trojan pathogenetic potential that alone is involved with many neoplastic and inflammatory illnesses (Desk?1). Desk 1 Proposed relationship between viruses and cigarette smoking and sponsor gene mutations LCH cells in 2010 2010 . At present there is requirement to reexamine the health condition in individuals with or without mutated precursor LCH cells. As reported using the LCH cells [11, 57C60], serum levels of IL-1a and IL-6, which are known to stimulate Th17 , were also significantly higher as compared to settings. Our own analyses on LCH cells using LC/MS and LC/MRM-MS could not confirm IL-17A positivity in LCH cells (i.e., the IL-17A autocrine model in LCH) . Rather, we propose an IL-17A endocrine model and stress that alteratins in IL-17A receptor manifestation levels are important for defining LCH subclasses. Low IL-17A levels in sera are maintained by T cells in emergencies such as infection . Rabbit polyclonal to TIGD5 Allen et al. also showed that CD3-positive cells in tonsils produced IL-17A [37, 39]. In 2014, Lourda et al. investigated the presence of IL-17A-producing cells among peripheral blood mononuclear cells isolated from LCH patients and observed a high percentage of IL-17A(+) monocytes in peripheral blood of LCH patients compared to controls . IL-17A/IL-17A receptor signaling pathways include matrix metalloproteinase-3 (MMP3) or MMP12 [62C64]. These MMP3 and MMP12 belong to a series of 1410 genes, the Gemcitabine HCl inhibition levels of which were more than twofold higher in LCH cells as compared to Langerhans cells in Gemcitabine HCl inhibition the re-analysis of “type”:”entrez-geo”,”attrs”:”text”:”GSE16395″,”term_id”:”16395″GSE16395 mRNA data. These higher expression levels of MMP3 and MMP12 not only confirm IL-17A/IL-17A receptor signaling roles in LCH cells but also explain the inflammatory process of LCH such as bone absorption and accumulation of eosinophils [65C67]. In summary, LCH is a neoplastic disorder driven by abnormalities such as gene mutation  thus the severity of LCH might be powered by an inflammatory procedure under the type of a cytokine surprise, concerning IL-17A/IL-17A receptor signaling pathways especially. In the foreseeable future, stimuli that govern IL-17A or IL-17A receptor creation may serve as restorative focuses on to avoid LCH development, just like cessation of cigarette smoking which induces pulmonary LCH regression [11, 68], which is nearly constantly an illness of smokers . LCH: IL-1 loop model Patients with LCH often have dermal disorders such as seborrheic dermatitis  concomitant to LCH lesions , preceding [70C72], or following LCH lesions . We recently described the possibility of a causal relationship between LCH and dermotropic MCPyV , which was discovered as the major pathogenic agent in MCC of the skin in 2008 . Our data indicate that MCPyV-DNA sequences are present in LCH tissues excluding pulmonary LCH, with significant differences between LCH tissues and controls that.
The purpose of today’s article is to supply a listing of the epigenetic modifications that may occur in children subjected to large metals pollutants. nation POPs may reach animals and folks much away. POPs persist for a long period in the surroundings where they are able to accumulate and become integrated into the neighborhood nature getting eventually in to the meals chain. Being among the most known POPs a couple of chemicals produced to be found in agriculture disease control processing or commercial procedures – like PCBs and DDT. This latter is nowadays used only in a few national countries to lessen mosquitoes that transmit malaria. Another band of POPs contains those chemicals that aren’t deliberately produced such as for example dioxins and large metals which are in some cases the result of industrial processes and combustion of waste products. Unlike POPs heavy metals are commonly found in either polluted and unpolluted environments water and soils because most of them naturally occur all around the globe. Although heavy metals are commonly found in the Earth’s crust they are found in elevated amounts in agricultural soil because of outrageous use of commercial fertilizers and Tyrphostin of contamination caused by manufacturing plants. Monitoring of heavy metal concentrations in the environment and biological matrices is therefore extremely important [1 2 Some heavy metals have been recognized to be dangerous to health such as Mercury (Hg) Cadmium (Cd) Arsenic (As) Lead (Pb) Chromium (Cr); some may cause corrosion such as Zinc (Zn) and Lead (Pb). In particular Cd is present in exceptionally high levels in cigarette smoke because tobacco leaves accumulate high levels of cadmium from the soil so that smokers have twice as much Cd in their blood than non-smokers . This is relevant to the human health as cadmium is usually ranked as carcinogen  and furthermore smoke interferes either with epithelial wound healing  and the antioxidant/oxidant balance [6 7 Both these effects have been shown to be directly or indirectly affected by Cd exposure [8 9 As outlined by the European community the chemical elements of highest concern for human health are As Cd Co Cr Rabbit polyclonal to TIGD5. Cu Hg Mn Ni and Pb . Several of these elements are essential nutrients of human’s diet as Co Cu Cr and Ni. Other chemicals are instead Tyrphostin Tyrphostin carcinogenic or toxic causing affections in the central nervous system (Hg Pb As) as well as in the kidney the liver (Hg Pb Cd Cu) or eventually skin bones or teeth (Ni Cd Cu Cr). Some heavy metals have essential roles for human health for instance copper is usually of fundamental importance in maintaining the activity of several enzymes including ferro-oxidase (ceruloplasmin) cytochrome c oxidase Tyrphostin superoxide dismutase and others. It is also known that Cu has a role in the metabolic processing of iron in melanin synthesis and in the central nervous system homeostasis. Iron is an essential component of a large number of enzymes and proteins in particular hemoglobin which is known to be vital for the transport of oxygen to tissues all over the body. Chromium widely occurs in two main oxidation says 3 (III) and +6 (VI) Cr III is the most stable and most likely is the form in the food supply because of the presence of food preservatives that act as reducing agents. Regardless of a positive effect of Cr in enhancing the action of insulin in patients with impaired glucose tolerance the Cr VI derived as a by-product of manufacturing stainless steel chromate chemicals pigments and various other products has a strongly oxidizing action producing irritation by direct contact and is carcinogenic when inhaled. Selenium protects protein from oxidant molecules as is a component of the enzyme glutathione peroxidase acting on cell membranes lipids and nucleic acids. Zinc biological Tyrphostin functions are linked to its presence as a component of a variety of enzymes and in the preservation of the structural integrity of proteins other enzymes and in the regulation of gene expression. Despite these positive effects heavy metals might act as potent toxic substances and cause permanent damage to organs and at molecular level . Heavy metal pollution can occur from numerous sources but most frequently arises from the.


Every Punjabi film has a romantic number in it, because every Punjabi film is high on emotions and to go with the mood, you need a song. This is the reason why songs have reached the audience across the borders, breaking all the linguistic and geographical barriers.
This time, the makers of Chandigarh Amritsar Chandigarh have released a romantic number from their forthcoming film. The title of the song is ‘Rab Ne Milaya’. Check out the song here;
This song has been sung by Kamal Khan. Lyrics of this song have been penned down by Ricky Khan, and the music has been composed by ace music director, Jatinder Shah. The video of the song too seems to be different from the entire concept of the film in which all we see is Sargun and Gippy fighting and arguing with each other. This song might be the first time where the actors start falling in love with each other.
The filmmakers have already released three songs from the film. These songs are ‘Ambersar De Papad’, ‘Aaja Billo Katthe Nachiye’, and ‘Chal Dila’. These songs have created a lot of excitement and enthusiasm among the audience for the film.
About the song, Singer-Actor Gippy Grewal said,
“Chandigarh-Amritsar-Chandigarh is one of my favorite projects of mine. And as a team, we tried to make sure that every minute detail will be taken care like accent and body language of both the places and Music. I believe music is a very important asset to the film. I am sure that this song ‘Rab Ne Milaya’ will surely make audiences fall in love again.”
The film is directed by Karan R Guliani, and stars Sargun Mehta and Gippy Grewal as the lead actors of the film. Chandigarh Amritsar Chandigarh is a romantic comedy which has been written by Naresh Kathooria, who is also the screenplay and the dialogue writer of the film. Music and the background of the film have been given by Jatinder Shah. The entire project is produced by Sumit Dutt, Eara Dutt and Anupama Katkar. This will be the first time that the audience will get to see Sargun and Gippy sharing the screen.
Munish Sahni’s Omjee Group has distributed the film worldwide.
You may also like to read:


text:
British pop queen Adele paused a concert in Denmark this week to sing the praises of Beyoncé and her latest album, the Black Lives Matter-themed Lemonade, telling attendees at the concert that Beyoncé is “Jesus f*cking Christ.”
Adele was performing at the Forum in Copenhagen, Denmark on Tuesday when she stopped mid-show to give a shout-out to Queen Bey.
Adele calls Beyonce 'Jesus Christ' during a live show ὄ pic.twitter.com/DaJv8kuJoQ
— WORLDSTARHIPHOP (@WORLDSTAR) May 4, 2016
“Are there any Beyoncé fans here tonight? How is it even possible that she only ever gets better?” the 25 singer gushed. “She is Jesus f*cking Christ. Beyoncé is the sickest artist around in the whole entire world. It’s unbelievable. I’ve been listening to her for 17 years, and she’s still making music that blows my mind.”
Beyoncé’s sixth studio album, Lemonade, premiered late last month with a splashy series of videos on premium cable channel HBO. As Breitbart’s Jerome Hudson previously reported, the album is chock-full of references to racial politics, black nationalist feminism and the alleged infidelity of her husband, rap star and music mogul Jay-Z. The album also contained a cryptic reference to Jay-Z’s alleged mistress — “Becky with the good hair” — that set off a frenzied online scavenger hunt and accusations of racism from fellow artist Iggy Azalea.
As Entertainment Weekly notes, Beyoncé’s new album set a record for most songs by a female artist to chart on the Billboard Hot 100 simultaneously; all 12 of the album’s songs hit the chart at the same time earlier this week.
Before her concert, Adele posted a photo to Instagram showing her hugging a poster of Beyoncé, and wrote that she was “speechless,” presumably over the singer’s latest album.
“Beyoncé is the most inspiring person I’ve ever had the pleasure of worshipping,” she wrote. “Her talent, beauty, grace and work ethic are all in a league of their own. I appreciate you so much! Thank god for Beyoncé X.”
Adele’s expression of love for Beyoncé wasn’t the only interruption at her Denmark concert Tuesday night; the singer also invited a same-sex couple onstage to help them get engaged, and even offered to be a surrogate for them.
Adele’s 25 tour continues Saturday night at the Mercedes-Benz Arena in Berlin, Germany.
Follow Daniel Nussbaum on Twitter: @dznussbaum

domain: entertainment