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Dating a man with aspergers
Dating Someone With Asperger's? Here's How To Strengthen Your Bond
All relationships can get complex at times. Dating someone with Asperger’s is no exception, and it brings its own joys and opportunities.
If your partner is on the autism spectrum and you aren’t, it’s natural and not uncommon for both of you to wonder about each other’s reactions or behaviors.
You might find yourselves searching for ways to address your concerns and tips on how to strengthen your bond.
Learning more about autism and Asperger’s can help you navigate some of the situations that may arise. This, in turn, might become the first step toward a stronger relationship.
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is an umbrella term for a number of conditions, some of which were previously diagnosed separately.
Asperger syndrome, also referred to as Asperger’s, is one of these conditions.
In this article, we’ll be referring to dating someone who has previously received an Asperger’s diagnosis or who identifies with this term.
According to Eva Mendes, LMHC, NCC, a diagnosis of Asperger’s is defined mainly by differences in social communication and emotional regulation reciprocity.
“The communication challenges can be verbal or nonverbal,” Mendes, a psychotherapist who works with adults with Asperger’s, told Psych Central. “Sometimes they can also have rigid behavior patterns and routines.”
“They also tend to have sensory sensitivities,” she added. “That can cause issues with relationships because sometimes they have trouble with touch and sound, and sight and smell and taste.”
These differences in how someone with Asperger’s communicates, perceives touch, and reacts to your emotional expressions might be confusing at first.
Despite the potential challenges, though, it’s possible for a neurotypical person — one who is not on the autism spectrum — to develop a fulfilling long-term relationship with someone with Asperger’s.
In 2013, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed. ) removed Asperger’s as a standalone diagnosis and made it part of one umbrella diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
However, some people who were previously diagnosed with Asperger’s still self-identify with the term.
In this article, we use Asperger’s to refer to those people who received the diagnosis or who still identify with it.
In the past, it was believed that a diagnosis of Asperger’s or autism was incompatible with love and relationships. But love is an emotion that can be fully experienced by nearly anyone, despite differences in perception, social interaction patterns, or emotional expression.
In other words, someone with Asperger’s is capable of falling in love. There are, however, some potential challenges both of you could experience along the way. But, isn’t this the case for most relationships?
Some of the challenges might come, in part, from what researcher Damian Milton has called the “double empathy problem.”
The concept refers to the potential difficulty both neurodivergent and neurotypical people may have when attempting to understand each other.
This is not “a problem” someone in the relationship has. Instead, it’s a common occurrence when two people with different outlooks and experiences relate to each other.
According to Milton, autistic people don’t lack empathy, as some people may inaccurately believe.
Neurodivergent people express emotions differently, mostly based on their particular way of experiencing the world.
This might make it difficult for nonautistic people to understand and sometimes empathize with an autistic person.
The same can be said for autistic people understanding nonautistic individuals. It’s a bidirectional experience.
The major challenge comes from assuming that the nonautistic way is the correct and only way.
This might lead to assuming that the autistic partner must make a greater effort to understand and comply with the feelings and needs of the neurotypical partner.
A good starting point, then, for strengthening your bond with someone with Asperger’s might be considering that they shouldn’t always have to come all the way to you.
In other words, it may be important to understand that there’s no one way of “doing relationships,” and that the correct way to relate to others isn’t simply the neurotypical way.
You can meet the other person halfway, and sometimes, you can meet them all the way.
The same way a neurotypical person may be used to certain relationship patterns, a person with Asperger’s may relate to others from their experience, too.
This presents with unique opportunities to learn to relate in different ways. Here are some of the ways someone with Asperger’s may relate to you that may be surprising at first.
Flirting is perceived differently
A person with Asperger’s may not notice your subtle hints when flirting. You may be using your best “moves,” and they could go unnoticed.
“Sometimes, they don’t know when someone is interested in them or flirting with them unless someone is very explicit,” Mendes explained.
This doesn’t mean they aren’t interested. Instead, they could not be reading or interpreting your cues correctly. You may need to be more direct if you’re interested in some romance.
Taking initiative may be up to you
Making the first move, or organizing a date, may be a difficult task for your partner with Asperger’s. This, again, is not necessarily lack of interest. Instead, it may be linked to potential challenges in executive functioning.
Executive functions are cognitive processes that have a direct impact on behavior. They’re what makes you formulate a plan when you set a goal, for example.
“Sometimes there is lack of initiation; [someone with Asperger’s] might hesitate to ask their partner out on a date,” said Mendes. “Executive functioning is planning and organizing tasks […], and a lot of them do struggle [in that aspect].”
Apparent lack of support
When you’re dating someone with Asperger’s, there might be times when you feel a lack of emotional support or understanding from them.
For example, your partner might not notice when you’re feeling sad or not know how to respond when you tell them you are. This doesn’t mean they don’t care.
“They may miss cues about how their partner is feeling [and] there might be a lack of emotional reciprocity,” Mendes said.
In the same way, it might be possible for you to miss cues about how your neurodivergent partner is feeling because they express these feelings in a different way. This might make them believe you’re not being supportive.
When dating a person with Asperger’s, you may find you’re on the receiving end of some blunt comments. Experts say it’s important to remember that your partner may not have meant to upset you. It might be just a matter of differing communication styles.
In the same way that someone with Asperger’s might not realize you’re flirting with them until you clearly state your interest, they may be inclined to tell you what they feel or think directly without subtleties.
“Sometimes, a lot of people on the spectrum don’t have a filter,” Mendes explained.
This means they might say things without realizing the content or tone they’re using. This could lead to some friction unless you understand there’s no intention to upset you.
Verbally expressing love
You may find your partner with Asperger’s doesn’t say “I love you,” or express their emotions, as often as you need them to.
Mendes says this may be because, to your partner, the love between you two has already been established. They might see no need to vocalize emotions any further.
“If their partner says ‘I love you,’ they may say it once and then they feel like ‘I don’t need to say it again because it hasn’t changed,” Mendes explained.
A mismatched libido
Sometimes, people with Asperger’s might have a significantly lower or higher sex drive than some people not living on the spectrum.
As with any romantic relationship, a mismatched sex drive could potentially lead to some difficulties.
“Sometimes, people on the spectrum might have a low sex drive, so that can be a little mismatched. Although that’s not true for everyone,” said Mendes.
Mendes says there are many ways to address the differences and challenges you may experience when dating a person with Asperger’s.
It’s important to remember that “your way” is not necessarily “the way” to a successful relationship. This applies both ways, and compromises are required from both parties.Communication is everything
Mendes suggests that all couples schedule time each day to talk about how each partner is feeling. This could also be an opportunity to air any grievances.
Scheduling this time, she says, is particularly important when dating a person with Asperger’s.
“Sometimes when you have a partner on the spectrum, those random conversations or points of connection aren’t happening, so one has to be deliberate about it,” she said.
Saving time to communicate about your feelings and expectations can help you both understand where the other person is coming from.
When having these moments, it’s important to make a conscious decision that whatever is said will not end up in a fight. Your partner might have different needs or different perceptions about your needs.
Clear and straightforward communication is an opportunity to learn about these perceptions and clarify any misconceptions.Be clear about intimacy needs
“In terms of intimacy issues in the bedroom, you want to be very explicit in communication,” Mendes explained.
“I have one couple where the spouse might say to their partner, ‘Hey! Tonight I think it’ll be good to have sexy time,’ and the partner is like, ‘OK, I’ll be ready!’” Mendes said. “They can get themselves mentally prepared and ration their energies if that’s going to happen.”
Mendes says this approach may feel unromantic to some people but argues it’s important to be explicit and not assume physical or emotional intimacy is going to happen spontaneously.
You might also come up with additional ways to express your emotional and physical intimacy needs to your partner.
For example, you could set alarms for them to call you at specific times of the day just to check in. Or you could remind them you enjoy it when they say “I love you” before leaving the house.
Understanding the need to be more explicit with your partner in order to get what you need can help avoid feelings of rejection.
It’s also important to ask your partner with Asperger’s if they’d like you to do or avoid certain things so they feel your love.Research Asperger’s
Learning more about Asperger’s may help you better understand your partner.
Mendes uses the example of a couple she works with where one partner has sensory differences.
In that case, the partner with Asperger’s didn’t like being touched on the shoulders. Whenever their partner would initiate touch in that area, they would flinch. Then, their partner would feel rejected by this reaction.
Reading more about sensory differences in people on the spectrum helped the neurotypical partner understand this reaction. They were then able to work together to find other zones that were better for touch.
Learning more about Asperger’s but also asking your partner about their preferences could help you bond in new ways.Let them know how you feel
Communication is key in any relationship, particularly one where differences may be more evident.
Mendes says it’s important, for example, to let your partner know when the language they’re using feels hurtful or upsetting to you.
“There’s a lot of misunderstandings with how people on the spectrum phrase things. They can be very blunt; they can have no filter,” Mendes explained.
Understanding that this is how they communicate is important. Similarly, you may be communicating in a way that makes your partner feel misunderstood or challenged.
It may be a good idea to let them know how you feel and ask them how they feel.
It’s also important not to assume verbal communication is the best approach for your partner with Asperger’s. They might prefer other communication outlets when feeling overwhelmed, such as sensory input.Build your support network
If you believe your partner with Asperger’s may not provide all of the emotional support you need, consider seeking help outside the relationship.
Mendes advises practicing self-care and seeking emotional support through other avenues.
Reaching out to your friends or family can help. You may also consider getting a pet, she says.
It’s not uncommon to feel guilty for investing time and effort in you and your needs outside of your relationship. However, when dating someone with Asperger’s, doing this could take the pressure off your partner and help you meet some of your needs.
In the same way, your partner may also feel the need to reach out for support in other spaces. Support groups or therapy can be a great alternative for both of you.
Reaching out for professional help can facilitate strengthening any relationship.
If you and your partner are trying to work on your challenges and establish better communication, couples counseling could help.
Seeking someone who specializes in supporting autistic people is highly recommended.
“If you feel like there are some recurring things, and you talk about it a few times and you’re just not getting any traction, sometimes it’s just helpful to have a neutral third person there,” says Mendes.
“All of a sudden, hearing it from another perspective will open your mind a bit and make you feel lighter. You might even realize, ‘Wow! I’m actually happier in this relationship than I thought I was!’”
Being in a romantic relationship with someone with Asperger’s might bring its own opportunities.
Whether you just started dating a person with Asperger’s or you’ve been married to them for a while, there are a few practical ways to strengthen your bond.
Learning more about Asperger’s, becoming aware of the opportunities, and seeking professional help are some of the ways you could work together.
“With hard work, awareness, and the right counselor that specializes in this […] you can create a good relationship,” Mendes concluded.
5 Tips for Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome
If you and your partner with Asperger’s have hit a speed bump, some strategies and insight into loving someone with Asperger’s may help improve your relationship.
Asperger’s syndrome is part of the autism spectrum. While doctors no longer use the term “Asperger’s” and instead provide a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD), some people still identify with this classification or its shortened version, “Aspie.”
Whether you’re allistic (non-autistic) or have Asperger’s like your partner, reviewing the social and communication characteristics of people with this condition can help you navigate your relationship.
If you’re having relationship difficulties, it may not mean you’re incompatible. All you need might be some insight into the best ways to communicate and understand your relationship.
People with Asperger’s are autistic people with typical or higher than average intelligence and strong verbal skills, who often lead independent lives. They can find career success because of their focused interests and strengths, including an affinity for detail, intrinsic motivation, and work ethic.
Yet differences in social interaction and communication can lead to concerns if you’re in a relationship with a person. For example, they may sometimes:
- miss social cues
- react in unexpected ways
- hide their rich, emotional experience behind a flat affect that makes them seem lacking in empathy
Autistic people can also have sensory differences that interfere with socializing. Sound sensitivity and touch aversion are two examples.
People with Asperger’s also have strengths that make them wonderful partners. They tend to be honest, loyal, humorous, and champions of the underdog. Autistic people don’t often get caught up in social constructs, so they can see right to the heart of what matters.
Understanding how Asperger’s affects relationships can help you interpret your partner’s behavior. It can also provide you with strategies to nurture and strengthen your bond.
Can a person with Asperger’s feel love? Even though they may not show it in ways that you’d expect, the answer is a resounding yes.
You might see other couples holding hands or embracing and think that this is what a relationship should be. Meanwhile, your autistic partner might have sensory preferences that involve less touch. This doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings for you.
Keep in mind that there are many ways a person can express affection. While your partner with Asperger’s might not want to hug as much as you’d like, they might be the person you can count on to remember the things that are important to you.
Each relationship is unique, and what works for another couple may not be what works for you. What matters is that you both want to be in your relationship, and you’re both happy.
Just because people with Asperger’s are fluently verbal doesn’t mean they communicate the same way as allistic people.
Your partner with Asperger’s may be more articulate than is typical, with a sophisticated vocabulary. At the same time, they may not respond to other elements of communication that are nonverbal or paraverbal (how you say words).
Examples of communication aspects your partner might miss include:
- voice tone, volume, pace, and pitch
- facial expressions
- body language
A simple solution is to pay attention to the words you use. This works because words are what your Asperger’s partner will notice.
For example, rather than assuming your partner will recognize when your energy is low, it’s helpful to say, “I’m tired today.”
This approach can help you, too. If you’re also feeling irritable, talking about being tired offers you some insight into why your mood is altered.
A talent for word accuracy may mean that your autistic partner misunderstands pragmatic (social) language. They might misinterpret common expressions like “Hold on” or “What’s up?” It’s helpful to use more specific wording like “Please wait” or “What’s happening?”
Autism is neurodivergence — not error. Expecting your autistic partner to change all their relationship behaviors to suit yours sends the message that you think their ways aren’t right.
It can also put your partner in some uncomfortable situations, which isn’t how you want to treat someone you care about.
Instead, you can solve this issue with compromise. You’ll need to clearly communicate your wishes and preferences, plus the things you don’t like. Have your partner do the same. Then, meet in the middle.
For example, you might both enjoy movies, but your autistic partner may be uncomfortable with the sensory onslaught of a loud movie theater. You could compromise with dinner in a quiet restaurant followed by a volume-controlled movie at home.
If you ask your Aspie partner whether your outfit looks nice and you don’t get the response you’d hoped for, they haven’t intentionally been cruel. Instead, you’re the lucky recipient of truth from someone you can trust.
Autistic people tend to be more comfortable with clear, truthful communication than flattery intended to spare feelings. The truth is clear and easy to understand.
Whether your partner’s unflattering remark is hurtful or helpful depends on how you choose to see it. Keep in mind that their blunt honesty also applies to positive feedback — and if this is the reaction you get, you can savor and enjoy it.
A lot of people appreciate routines, and autistic people are no exception. In fact, a predictable schedule is favored over spontaneity by many people with Asperger’s.
Communication is important enough to include in your schedule. Pencil in regular times for conversations about thoughts, feelings, and ways you can both improve your relationship.
If needed, you can use conversation prompts, such as stating one thing you’re happy about and one thing you’d like to change. Be prepared to navigate through disagreement, and have strategies in place to mend hurt feelings.
Conversations aren’t the only thing you can schedule. Consider making regular plans for enjoyable activities like movie night, pizza night, outings with friends, or even alone time.
Don’t feel like you should plan every moment together or schedule everything you do. However since schedules can reduce anxiety in autistic people, it’s worth testing to see if this is a strategy that can help your relationship.
Most relationships require work, and yours is no exception. With some time and effort, you and your partner with Asperger’s can grow closer and have a fulfilling connection.
It’s worthwhile to learn as much as you can about Asperger’s syndrome to gain insight into how this cognitive difference can change the shape of relationships.
Clear and specific communication is vital. It can be the difference between repeated episodes of hurt feelings and insight, understanding, and a strengthened emotional bond.
Couple’s counseling can also help. You can try the American Psychological Association’s psychologist locator to find a qualified therapist near you. You can also check out Psych Central’s Find a Therapist resource pages.
How can romantic relationships develop in young people with Asperger's syndrome and high-functioning autism?
Clinical psychologist, specializing in Asperger syndrome, about the features of romantic and intimate relationships in adults with RAS
Author: Tony Etwood
Translation: Tamara Solomatina
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While young people with classic autism usually suffice with a solitary “hermit” lifestyle, people with Asperger's syndrome and high-functioning autism often do not. Clinical studies have shown that most of these adolescents and young adults are interested in romantic relationships. However, very little research addresses this aspect of autism spectrum disorders or strategies for successfully developing these relationships.
We know that young people with Asperger's have significant difficulty developing relationships with peers and understanding what the other person may be thinking or feeling. Ordinary children learn this naturally and practice the skills to develop relationships with family members and friends long before they use these abilities to successfully develop romantic relationships. Young people diagnosed with Asperger's and high-functioning autism have limited communication skills and may find it difficult to express emotions, especially affection. They may also have very high sensitivity to certain sensory experiences. All of these diagnostic characteristics affect relationship-forming skills as the child grows and will ultimately reduce the adult's chances of a successful long-term relationship.
Love and affection
People with autism spectrum disorders have difficulty understanding and expressing emotions, and the most difficult emotion for such people is love. Ordinary children and adults often express their affection with pleasure, know how to express it to exchange mutual feelings of affection and love, and know how to support someone through the expression of affection. A child or adult with autism may not need the same depth and frequency of expressions of love through actions, or may not realize that the situation requires them to display their affection in a way that would please the other person. He or she may be annoyed by how "obsessed" other people are with expressing love for each other.
Some autistics may be obviously immature in their expressions of affection and sometimes perceive them as a negative experience. For example, a hug may feel uncomfortable and limit movement. A person may become embarrassed or overwhelmed when expected to express and accept fairly moderate expressions of love. I recently developed a cognitive behavioral therapy program for children and adolescents with Asperger's Syndrome that teaches them about the emotion of love and how to express that you love or feel sympathy for someone. The program will soon be evaluated in a study conducted by the University of Queensland in Australia.
One of the diagnostic characteristics of Asperger's syndrome is the development of a special interest that is unusual in its object and significance. For adolescents and young adults, the target is sometimes a person, which can be interpreted as a typical teenage crush, but the degree of interest and associated behavior often lead to accusations of stalking and harassment. The propensity to develop a special interest can also influence the emergence of relationship knowledge in other ways. Special interests help people with Asperger's in many ways, including acquiring the knowledge to understand the annoying aspects of their life experiences. Adolescents with Asperger's Syndrome often seek to understand and experience in terms of communication and relationships, including romantic and sexual ones, the same as their peers, but they may have problems with sources of information about relationships and sexuality.
A teenager with Asperger's syndrome has few or no friends with whom to discuss topics such as romantic or sexual feelings and sexual behavior. Unfortunately, the only source of information for teens with Asperger's can be either porn movies for boys or soap operas for girls. A person with Asperger's Syndrome may decide that the actions shown in pornographic material can serve as a "script" of what to say or do on a date, but this misunderstanding can lead to allegations of harassment. Such allegations are more often related to inappropriate behavior than to violent or aggressive acts of a sexual nature. Girls with Asperger's Syndrome may use movies and TV shows as a source of knowledge about relationships and fail to recognize that TV shows do not accurately reflect the beginning and development of relationships in real life.
Clinical studies show that unpopular girls with Asperger's syndrome, who are not accepted into any company, after the physical changes that occurred during puberty, are flattered by the attention from boys. Because of her naivety, the girl may not realize that their interest is sexual in nature, and not at all a desire to simply communicate with her and spend time in her company. She may not have female friends to take her on a first date or give her advice on social and sexual rules. Her parents may have strong concerns about her vulnerability to negative sexual experiences and possible date rape.
There is a transition from acquaintance to partnership in the relationship. Individuals with Asperger's may find it difficult to cope with each step of this transition. To move from friend to partner status, a teenager or young person with Asperger's needs to understand the art of flirting in order to accurately read the signals of mutual sympathy and not get lost during dates. People with Asperger's do not understand this intuitively. These teens and young adults often ask me, “How can I find a boyfriend/girlfriend?” And this question is not easy to answer. One of the difficulties can be the correct interpretation of someone's intentions. A simple expression of kindness or sympathy can be taken much more seriously than intended. I have had to explain to men with Asperger's that the smile and attention from female flight attendants are just courtesies, not a desire to start a relationship.
Despite the relationship problems that most people with Asperger's have, some can develop relationships and form romantic and intimate relationships, even marriage. To achieve this level of relationship, partners need to initially notice the attractive qualities of each other. What is so attractive about a young person with Asperger's Syndrome?
Attractive qualities of people with Asperger's syndrome
Men with Asperger's syndrome may have a wide range of qualities that are attractive to a future partner. When I counsel couples in which one or both partners have characteristics or a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, I often ask the neurotypical partner, "What qualities did your partner draw you to when you first met?" Many women describe that a partner with Asperger's syndrome initially impressed them as kind, considerate, but socially or emotionally immature. The term "silent handsome stranger" is often used to describe anyone who seems relatively quiet and likeable. Appearance and attention can become very important, especially if a woman has doubts about her own self-esteem and physical attractiveness. Lack of social and conversational skills lead to the formation of the image of the "mysterious stranger", whose naivety and immaturity the partner can compensate for by becoming an expert in empathy, socialization and communication.
I have noticed that the partners of many men and sometimes women with Asperger's are on the other end of the social and empathic spectrum. On an intuitive level, they are experts in the "model of the mental" (understanding someone else's consciousness), that is, they understand and sympathize with the experiences of other people. They have the gift of seeing the world as it appears to people with Asperger's to a much greater extent than people with average empathy. Being understanding and sympathetic, they help their partner cope with difficulties in social situations. Undoubtedly, adults with Asperger's Syndrome need these traits and want to see them in a potential partner. He or she will actively seek out someone with intuitive social skills, someone who will explain social situations to them, educate them, and care for them. However, while a socially gifted and empathetic partner may be able to understand the experiences of a person with Asperger's Syndrome, that person will have significant difficulty understanding their neurotypical partner.
Intellectual abilities, one's own career, and increased attention to one's partner during courtship can make a person with Asperger's syndrome more attractive. Sometimes, however, this attentiveness can be perceived by others as excessive, and words and actions will seem as if they were memorized from Hollywood romantic films. A person can be admired for his straightforwardness, even if his comments hurt other people, because of his strong desire for social justice and clear moral principles. The fact that he may not be "macho" at all or not eager to spend time with other men at sports matches can also be very attractive in the eyes of some women. And the fact that a person with Asperger's syndrome entered into a relationship quite late can also be a plus. He may not have the "baggage" of previous relationships. I have also heard many women say that a partner with Asperger's Syndrome reminds them of their father. The fact that they grew up with a parent with Asperger's traits may also have influenced their choice of partner in adulthood.
What traits do men find attractive in women with Asperger's syndrome? They may be similar to what women find attractive in men with Asperger's, especially the degree to which they are attentive. The social immaturity of a woman can attract men who are prone to guardianship and compassion. They may admire her beauty or her talents and abilities. Unfortunately, women (and sometimes men) with Asperger's have a hard time assessing a person's character and knowing when a relationship becomes "dangerous." Such women often have low self-esteem, which affects their choice of a partner for a relationship. They may become victims of various forms of violence. As one woman with Asperger's syndrome explained to me, "I had low expectations and as a result I was drawn to violent people."
Strategies to Improve Relationship Skills
People with Asperger's will need help developing relationships at every stage, and possibly throughout their lives. Younger children will need the help of a speech therapist to improve their conversational skills, and an educator or psychologist will help with friendship skills during their school years. Developing these skills should be a priority for an educational institution supporting a child with Asperger's Syndrome or High-Functioning Autism, as positive friendship experiences will increase self-esteem, help avoid bullying from classmates, lay the foundation for developing friendships in the future, and improve teamwork abilities. for more successful employment.
Adolescents will need truthful information about attractiveness, courtship and sexuality. While such information is readily available to typical adolescents (most often from parents, friends, and personal experiences), adolescents with Asperger's Syndrome may have difficulty obtaining it. Lack of peer help, adult information and practice will hinder the acquisition of relationship development skills. Fortunately, we now have special relationship and sexuality education programs designed specifically for teens and young people with Asperger's Syndrome that include the opportunity to get advice from a peer with the same syndrome. Several doctors and therapists in Australia are developing relationship skills training materials for adolescents and young people with Asperger's Syndrome. Such training will include everything from dating rules and a sense of style to ways to recognize and avoid dangerous partners. A valuable strategy here can be to meet socially receptive friends or relatives with a potential partner to determine if they are a good person before starting a relationship.
Young people will need support and opportunities to meet new people. Here you can offer to do something or join an interest group related to their own special passion, for example, take part in Star Trek or Doctor Who fan meetings, or apply their talents, say, to taking care of animals. and join an animal welfare group. There are also opportunities to make new friends at community events, such as a local choir or adult education courses. Local support groups for parents of children with Asperger's have also established support groups for young people with Asperger's. In this case, specialists can come to the group and hold a group discussion or give advice. Such groups can provide an opportunity for the development of relationships between members of the group. The relationship between Jerry and Mary, two people with Asperger's who met at a support group in Los Angeles, has been the subject of a book and film (Crazy in Love). Some people with Asperger's Syndrome use the Internet and dating agencies to get to know someone, but this method of dating can also be used by dangerous partners, so you need to take into account the high risk when using this dating strategy.
I have noticed that adults who had prominent signs of autism in childhood (significant language delay, learning difficulties, avoidance of social situations) but progressed to high-functioning autism later in life have much less desire to develop long-term relationships. Most likely, they will be content with loneliness and will not maintain sexual relations, preferring superficial acquaintances to friendship. A sense of self-identity and self-worth in such people is achieved through a successful career and an independent life. Temple Grandin is a good example of this. Some adults with Asperger's also choose not to form close relationships for reasons that seem logical given the traits associated with the syndrome.
Jennifer explains her decision: “How can I live in the same house with a person who can touch my collection of model airplanes?” And so: "Airplane models do not want to be designed by someone else, even if it is more attractive or less dependent." However, she is quite satisfied with her life. She says, "I can assure you that falling in love and special interests are about the same feeling." For some people with Asperger's or high-functioning autism, giving up romantic relationships may be the right choice if they enjoy and fully devote themselves to their special interests, such as wildlife photography or a career in information technology. They don't fit the cultural mold that marriage and long-term relationships are the only way to achieve happiness.
Future Research Perspectives
We know that people with Asperger's have significant difficulties developing relationships, but there is not enough research to provide us with qualitative and quantitative data about their relationship abilities, circumstances, and experiences. A study has recently been published on the ability to maintain friendships in children with Asperger's syndrome, but there is very little research on adolescent relationships and sexuality. Dr. Isabelle Henault of Montreal is conducting a study with me on the sexual profile of people with Asperger's syndrome, and preliminary results show that this profile differs from that of ordinary people due to less sexual experience, although they develop sexual interest in the same period, which and their adolescent peers. They may also have a more relaxed attitude towards sexual diversity, such as homosexuality and bisexuality, and a rich sexual fantasy. They may be less concerned about the partner's age and cultural differences. However, further research is needed, and the Autism Interactive Network database may be useful in providing information on the romantic relationships of adolescents and young adults with Asperger's and high-functioning autism.
Thanks to Tamara Solomatina for the translation.
Autism in adults, Asperger Syndrome, Social Skills90,000 Men with Asperger syndrome
Symptoms and manifestations of,
Relations and creating a family
Many men with Asperger's Syndrome (HA), also called high-functioning autism, have never been diagnosed and are perceived as eccentric, a little weird, or loners. If you are in a relationship with a man on the autism spectrum, you may have noticed many of the following traits. Note, "traits", not "character flaws". This article is about the symptoms associated with the disorder. And the affected person can often have very little or no effect on most of these symptoms. This article is not written to accuse or ridicule men on the spectrum, and it should be noted that they have more advantages than weaknesses (and there is a lot written about them on this site). But in this article, we will focus on some of the features associated with Asperger's syndrome that can negatively affect romantic relationships.
A man with Asperger's syndrome often has the following features, expressed in different people to varying degrees:
- Special interest (eg coin collecting) is common among men with Asperger's and may have been something they have been doing for years. They are literally in love with it and often have an exhaustive collection of things related to their interest, as well as incredible knowledge in their subject area.
- Although men with Asperger's Syndrome often have a high level of intelligence, it happens that they remain in low-skilled jobs for years or move from one job to another. This is the result of their problems with social skills and communication.
- A man with Asperger's may have a pet (often a dog) to which he has a very strong attachment. A pet is a friend who does not make demands on a person and accepts him as he is.
- Men with Asperger's appear selfish or indifferent. They can speak without considering how their words will affect others.
- Men with Asperger's have a tendency to blame other people instead of themselves. In an attempt to maintain their image and protect their unstable self-esteem, they blame others for things they should be responsible for.
- Short temper is not uncommon in men with Asperger's syndrome. They "explode" over relatively minor things (for example: a burnt dish, a missing book, etc.). Disruption of plans is another reason for the manifestation of their temper. At the same time, the man himself may understand that he is behaving badly, but feel unable to influence it.
- In a romantic relationship, a man with Asperger's may resist physical contact and open displays of affection or hints of affection.
- Job interviews are often a problem for men with Asperger's Syndrome because, due to impaired social skills, they cannot respond correctly or misunderstand the interviewer's non-verbal cues.
- Men with Asperger's have spent decades learning how to be acceptable in society.
- Men with Asperger's Syndrome often have a reputation for being difficult to communicate with. Others believe that they have a bad character or that they prefer their own social circle.
- Many men with Asperger's want to have friends but are considered loners. They usually have a much reduced capacity for social interaction compared to "ordinary" men.
- Many men with Asperger's have learned to lie in order to cope with life's challenges. For example, instead of admitting that they are overwhelmed by noise, that they are tired of being around people, or that they want to pursue their special interest, they may lie and say that they are not feeling well or that they have an appointment.
- Many men with Asperger's Syndrome marry, but the relationship lasts only if both partners are willing to work on problem areas.
- Many men with Asperger's fit the "computer genius" stereotype.
- Many men with Asperger's syndrome fail to make small talk. They focus on the topic of interest to them and talk about it endlessly, but cannot fully understand the exchange of remarks in a general conversation.
- Many men with Asperger's find employment and are generally reliable employees. However, even with the same qualifications as "ordinary" men, they cannot find jobs as easily due to a lack of social skills.
- Sensory traits mean that men with Asperger's don't like things like seams on clothes or tags on shirts. Hearing features are possible: such a man may not like loud noise or certain music. In addition, crowds can be confusing, and men with Asperger's may avoid all of the above.
- Sexual problems may become apparent if a man with Asperger's Syndrome has not received adequate sex education at an earlier age. In some cases, he learns about sex by looking at pornography on the Internet. If he tries to repeat such scenes with his partner, it can lead to great confusion.
- Social activity may be limited. The wife of a man with Asperger's usually forms his social circle while he stays at home.
- Some men with Asperger's syndrome come to a secluded lifestyle, they are beginning to be called "hermits", "recluses". They seem to find it easier to live this way, and they feel more at ease than when they face the complexities of interpersonal relationships on a daily basis.
- Some men with Asperger's would prefer to have a confirmed diagnosis, while others would prefer to live the same lifestyle as before. However, some people deny the possibility of having Asperger's and get offended when someone brings up the subject.
- Some men with Asperger's Syndrome become permanently defensive over time and find it difficult to confront or discuss things with them. It is often the result of bullying and isolation from peers at a younger age.
- Teamwork can create problems. A man with Asperger's works better if he has his own office without noise and distracting social interaction.
- When courting a girl, a man with Asperger's syndrome comes across as quiet and reserved. In marriage, these qualities can become a cause for disagreement, because his wife will be disappointed by his lack of sociability.
In addition to the above, some men with AS have the following traits:
- Often they are "in their own world".
- Attention narrowly focused on his interests.
- Possibly suffering from obsessions.
- Very preoccupied with their plans.
- Can be very critical of themselves and others.
- Very unhappy when others ask them for clarification or some sympathy.
- Engaged in some business (sometimes divorced from reality) for hours without a break.
- Can pester friends by asking them to confirm they are "normal".
- Can often be physically and emotionally distant.
- Can sit in the library for hours, pursuing their special interest.
- Collect items.
- Desire friendship and social contacts, but with difficulty establishing and maintaining them.
- Difficulty understanding the feelings of others.
- They don't always recognize people by sight (even some family members).
- Find emotions confusing and uncomfortable.
- Great difficulty with small talk and idle chatter.
- Have a strong desire to communicate something, because of which they may appear dull or offend.
- Intense passion for one or two subjects.
- Lack of empathy at times.
- Lack of interest in other people.
- Preferences can be very rigid.
- Limited interests.
- They are clumsy, have poor coordination of movements.
- Feel oppressed by their partner's need for communication.
- May have a stony, expressionless face most of the time.
- Have difficulty saying "I love you" and showing physical affection.
- Have a great need to leave and be alone.
- Eccentric people.
- Occasionally experience idiosyncratic attachment to inanimate objects.
- Difficulties with the implementation of the curriculum despite a high level of intelligence.
- Perhaps they don't try very hard to keep their friendship.
- "Hang out" in social situations.
- Problems in non-verbal communication (eg, difficulty understanding body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice).
- They often feel that their partners are ungrateful and irritable when they complain (eg "you don't care about me" or "you never listen to me").
- Often take words personally.
- Preoccupied with their plans.
- Repetitive routine, rituals.
- Inflexible social behavior due to an inability to automatically adapt to changes in social situations.
- Sensitivity to product consistency.
- Single-tasking (monotropism).
- Peculiarities of language and speech or developmental delay of speech at an early age.
- Great sensitivity to sound, touch, taste, sight and smell.
- Preoccupation with unusual problems.
- Use repetition of words (for example, they can repeat what you just said).
The information in this article is in no way intended to force you to abandon a relationship with a man with Asperger's Syndrome. As stated above, all of these traits are components of the disorder. Men with Asperger's Syndrome often go out of their way to make themselves look better in relationships. But unfortunately, all too often their "neurotypical" (i.

domain: psychology


text:
Bargaining Power of Supplier:
The supplier in the Taiwanese Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia industry has a low negotiating power despite the fact that the industry has prominence of three players including Powerchip, Nanya and ProMOS. Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia suppliers are mere original devices suppliers in tactical partnerships with foreign gamers for modern technology. The 2nd reason for a reduced negotiating power is the truth that there is excess supply of Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia units as a result of the huge scale manufacturing of these dominant market players which has decreased the cost each and also boosted the negotiating power of the purchaser.
Threat of Substitutes & Degree of Rivalry:
The hazard of substitutes in the market is high given the fact that Taiwanese suppliers compete with market share with global gamers like Intel, Motorola, IBM, Hitachi, NEC, Toshiba, Samsung and Fujitsu. This suggests that the marketplace has a high level of rivalry where producers that have layout as well as development abilities together with making expertise might have the ability to have a higher negotiating power over the marketplace.
Bargaining Power of Buyer:
The marketplace is dominated by gamers like Micron, Elpida, Samsung as well as Hynix which further decrease the purchasing power of Taiwanese OEMs. The reality that these strategic gamers do not enable the Taiwanese OEMs to have access to technology shows that they have a greater bargaining power comparatively.
Threat of Entry:
Risks of entrance in the Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia manufacturing sector are reduced because of the reality that structure wafer fabs as well as buying equipment is very expensive.For just 30,000 units a month the capital requirements can range from $ 500 million to $2.5 billion relying on the dimension of the systems. The production needed to be in the most current technology as well as there for new gamers would not be able to compete with leading Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia OEMs (initial equipment makers) in Taiwan which were able to appreciate economies of scale. The existing market had a demand-supply inequality and so oversupply was currently making it difficult to enable new gamers to take pleasure in high margins.
The region's manufacturing firms have relied on a technique of automation in order to lower expenses with economic climates of scale. Given that Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia production utilizes standard processes as well as standard as well as specialized Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia are the only 2 classifications of Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia being produced, the procedures can quickly utilize mass production. The industry has leading makers that have formed partnerships in exchange for modern technology from Oriental and also Japanese firms. While this has actually led to availability of technology and scale, there has been disequilibrium in the Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia sector.
Threats & Opportunities in the External Atmosphere
According to the internal as well as exterior audits, possibilities such as strategicalliances with technology partners or growth through merging/ acquisition can be explored by TMC. In addition to this, an action in the direction of mobile memory is additionally an opportunity for TMC particularly as this is a specific niche market. Threats can be seen in the form of over reliance on international gamers for innovation and competitors from the US and also Japanese Procomp Informatic Stepping On Ethical Landmines In Asia producers.
Porter’s Five Forces Analysis

domain: economics


text:
Jonathan Kauffman Named SF Weekly's New Food Critic and SFoodie Blogger
SF Weekly has a new staff food writer. Former Bay Area food critic Jonathan Kauffman is leaving sister publication Seattle Weekly to become our full-time restaurant critic and SFoodie blogger.
Donncha@ In Photos.org/Flickr Break out the Cantonese seafood.
As staff writer for the East Bay Express, Kauffman won a 2006 James Beard Award for newspaper reporting on nutrition or consumer issues. The Association of Food Journalists awarded Kauffman First Place in newspaper restaurant criticism in 2006, and again this year. Kauffman also won a 2009 IACP Bert Greene Award in the Internet category for a Seattle Weekly blog post about one of the nation's first pig slaughter and cooking classes.
"I'm thrilled to be coming back to San Francisco," Kauffman told SFoodie. "Do you know how much I've missed good Cantonese seafood?"
Kauffman began his career in the kitchen, including a two-year stint at now-defunct Socca (currently home to Aziza). He was staff critic at the Express from 2001 to 2006. In Seattle, Kauffman founded Voracious, the first food blog in the Village Voice Media chain.
Expect to see Kauffman's SF Weekly byline in early January.

domain: news


ONE Direction have addressed rumours that they may be taking a break from music after the release of their latest album.
Speaking exclusively to OK! Online, the world's biggest boyband denied reports, with Liam Payne saying: "We don't know where it's come from we've got loads of stuff going on.
"We've literally started the process of recording the new album there's a whole new tour going on and there's some really great songs.
"I don't think we'll be going anywhere for a while."
The boys performed at this year's Capital Summertime Ball and spoke backstage about having to change their set list since Zayn Malik's departure from the group a couple of months ago.
"We've just been rehearsing the new songs and we're going to take our time because we want to get it right in motion and we're sure it'll arise in the next couple of weeks.
Liam, along with Harry Styles, Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson even admitted it was a challenge covering the parts Zayn used to sing.
"Obviously – no Zayn has a great voice and his parts are great to sing but we just all have to cover all of his high notes now."
And also addressing reports that Louis is the latest judge to be signed for this year's series of The X Factor, he said: "I've got a tour to do so unfortunately not, maybe next year."
Don't tease us, Louis.


"Growth Zone" signs litter the campus of Naperville's Edward Hospital.
First it was the construction of the $11 million Women and Children's Pavilion scheduled to open next spring. Then came the announcement of a $90 million addition for expanded outpatient services and an education center.
Last month it was the opening of a new diabetes resource center and a perinatology clinic for high-risk mothers and their newborns. And there are plans for an asthma center and a sleep clinic to open this year as well.
At a time when medical facilities nationwide are facing declines in admissions and pressures to consolidate, the Naperville hospital continues to see unprecedented growth and soon could rival larger urban academic medical centers in services, hospital officials said.
Edward's neonatal intensive-care unit soon will double in size to accommodate the number of deliveries, which have nearly tripled in the last decade and are expected to soar to more than 4,000 in five years, said Dr. Bob Covert, medical director of neonatal intensive care unit.
It's something that before would only have been found in an urban academic medical center, he said.
As resources are more readily available at community hospitals, physicians who once were restricted to academic centers now are making their way to the suburbs, officials said.
Specialized equipment and support personnel have drawn physicians to community hospitals where they can set up private practices and offer their services to several suburban medical facilities.
"Years ago, specialists needed to go to the academic medical centers," said William Kottmann, vice president of physician integration at Edward. "Over the last 10 years, we're seeing more doctors coming to community hospitals and bringing that knowledge with them. We're now doing the same types of procedures as academic medical centers."
The hospital has a pediatric surgeon, Kottmann said, something "that would have been unheard of a few years ago."
The 50-acre campus at 801 S. Washington St. started in 1907 as a tuberculosis sanitarium on the outskirts of town, but the city's burgeoning population has brought about the hospital's growth, as well as its change in character.
Naperville's population has exploded in recent years and is expected to approach 130,000 by the new millennium.
Officials contend that population surge, coupled with the push for expanded services in community hospitals, has led to Edward's unusual growth.
"If you go back 10 years ago, Edward was still somewhat of a sleepy little community hospital," Kottmann said. "Today we can really handle just about any type of high-risk pregnancy. Prior to this, moms had to go into the city."
In the last decade, Edward has seen the number of live births leap from 988 per year to 2,759, said hospital spokesman Brian Davis. Outpatient registrations have climbed from 31,500 to 136,700 over the same period.
The growth at Edward is atypical of trends in much of Illinois and the nation, where dropping admission rates are leading some hospitals to close or to merge, health-care experts said.
Hospital admissions are falling for a variety of reasons. Insurance companies are pressuring medical centers to cut costs and shorten hospital stays. There also is a national surge toward less invasive treatments and more outpatient care.
Although these factors will affect Edward, the Naperville facility will need to more than double its bed capacity--to between 400 and 450 beds--to accommodate the growth in the next five years, said Pam Meyer Davis, president and chief executive officer of Edward Health Services Corp.
People "feel confident that they can get the best health care in their home town, where in the past they went to Mayo Clinic or to an urban hospital downtown," she said.


text:
- 453.59 g flank steak, cut into bite-size pieces
- 59.14 ml cornstarch
- 9.85 ml olive oil
- 1 onion, thinly sliced
- 14.79 ml garlic, minced
- 3 large green onions, sliced diagonally into 1/2 inch pieces
- 118.29 ml soy sauce
- 118.29 ml water
- 118.29 ml brown sugar
- 2.46 ml fresh gingerroot, minced
- 118.29 ml hoisin sauce
- rice, cooked
Directions See How It's Made
- Place flank steak and cornstarch into a resealable plastic bag.
- Shake the bag to evenly coat the flank steak with the cornstarch.
- Allow the steak to rest for 10 minutes.
- Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat.
- Cook and stir steak until evenly browned, 2 to 4 minutes.
- Place onion, garlic, flank steak, green onions, soy sauce, water, brown sugar, ginger, and hoisin sauce in a slow cooker.
- Cook on Low setting for about 4 hours.
- Serve with steamed rice.

domain: food


text:
Peanut and her siblings were found outside about four months ago, in a subdivision where
their rescuer lives. “A neighbour had been feeding them for a while, but before they moved
away, they informed me of where they had been seeing them. My sister and I went to look for
them and discovered four kittens (one slightly older than the others), a very pregnant queen,
and two other queens who had been nursing. After about a week of feeding them outside, we
managed to get them into carriers and brought them into our home. They were surprisingly
clean. We asked neighbours if they knew where the cats had come from and one person
suggested that they may have belonged to a neighbour that had since passed away, but I could
not confirm this (although the dates do add up). We kept visiting the spot where we found
them, hoping that we hadn’t missed anyone, and found a ginger male (Bruce) who we suspect
is the father. He was surprisingly friendly and affectionate as well, so we brought him inside
and kept him separated from the females. All are happy and healthy cats now, waiting for their
new families to adopt them.
Peanut is a sweet little ginger tabby girl who loves getting into mischief. She is around seven
months old, but her exact date of birth is unknown. She really enjoys snuggling and playing with
her younger sisters. She is highly intelligent and appreciates being challenged while playing
and one of her favourite games is searching for treats hidden around a room. She is a tiny ball
of energy, and absolutely loves people. Peanut is ready to be adopted into her forever home.
One that will welcome her into the family and keep her safely indoors.

domain: pet


text:
: Sep 13, 2018
Interested in joining a vibrant group of Knight parents! St. Thomas More's Catholic School Council (formerly Parent Council) will begin its year with a meeting on Thursday, September 13 at 6:30 p.m. in the Library Learning Commons
. Elections will be held on this night for Executive positions. Please join and meet with Principal Sara Cannon on this evening!

domain: library


text:
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domain: game


text:
New patient safety alert issued concerning GLP-1 shortages
In Pharmacy NewsStay up to date with all the news, learning and insight in the world of pharmacy.
Record learning outcomes
A new National Patient Safety Alert has been issued regarding the ongoing shortages of glucagon-like peptide-1 receptor agonists (GLP-1 RAs). Supplies are not expected to return to normal until at least the end of 2024.
The supply issues have been caused by an increase in demand for these products for licensed and off-label indications, says the Department of Health and Social Care.
GLP-1 RAs licensed for type 2 diabetes mellitus (T2DM) should not be prescribed for off-label indications, the medicines regulator emphasises. Existing stock must be conserved for patients with T2DM to mitigate the risk of impaired access to treatment and increased risk in diabetes-related complications.
Preparations affected include Ozempic, Trulicity, Victoza, Saxenda and Byetta.
The alert provides further clinical information and actions for providers.
Article corrected January 6 to say the alert was issued by DHSC and not MHRA, as originally published.

domain: health


text:
I’m not going to say “please vote blue”. I’m not going to say “please vote”, at all. If you’re following me, I _expect_ you to vote, and vote blue, if you are legally capable of it. If you do not, unfollow. Unfollow now because I don’t want to be associated with you or your politics that say it’s okay to kill me and my friends.
The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!

domain: politics


Calibrating your 5.1 AV receiver is an important step in getting the most out of your home theater system. Here are the steps to calibrate your AV receiver:
Most AV receivers have a built-in test tone generator that can be used to calibrate the speakers. Turn on the test tone generator and set the volume to a comfortable level. Then, listen to the test tones and adjust the volume, balance, and tone controls on the receiver until they are at the same level for all speakers.
Proper speaker placement is crucial for achieving the best sound quality. Make sure the speakers are placed at the correct distance from the listening position and are angled correctly. The front left and right speakers should be at the same distance from the listening position and angled towards the center of the room. The center speaker should be placed directly above or below the TV, and the surround speakers should be placed to the side of the listening position.
Most AV receivers have a speaker distance setting that allows you to set the distance of each speaker from the listening position. This is important for achieving proper soundstage and imaging. Use a tape measure to measure the distance from the listening position to each speaker and set the speaker distance on the receiver accordingly.
The subwoofer crossover is the frequency at which the subwoofer takes over the bass frequencies from the main speakers. The crossover setting should be set to the point where the subwoofer blends seamlessly with the main speakers. To set the crossover frequency, play a test tone and adjust the crossover frequency on the receiver until the sound of the test tone is smooth and balanced.
Some AV receivers have room calibration features that can help to optimize the sound for your room. This can include adjusting the speaker size, distance, and level settings, as well as adjusting the bass and treble levels. Follow the instructions in your receiver's manual to perform room calibration.
Once you have completed the above steps, perform a final sound check by playing a variety of music and movie tracks. Make any final adjustments to the volume, balance, and tone controls to achieve the best sound quality.
It's important to mention that these steps are a general guide, you should refer to the manual of your specific AV receiver for further details and instructions. Additionally, if you find the process too complex, you can always hire a professional to do the job for you and get the best out of your system.


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|Jayne Anne Phillips|
May 3, 2000
8:00 p.m. Reading
Recital Hall, PAC
UAlbany, Uptown Campus
4:00 Informal Seminar
(Photo Credit: Jerry Bauer)
Jayne Anne Phillips grew up in West Virginia, a locale to which she has returned time and again in the settings of her stories. While she attended West Virginia University as an undergraduate she began writing the stories that would make up her first volume of fiction, Sweathearts (1976), which was published and awarded a Pushcart Prize even before she entered the Iowa Writers workshop as a student in 1977.
Since then Phillips has published four more collections of short stories, Counting (1978), Black Tickets (1979), How Mickey Made It (1981) and Fast Lanes (1984), and two novels, Machine Dreams (1984) and Shelter (1994). Her third novel, MotherKind (Alfred A. Knopf, 2000, ISBN 0-375-40194-6), is scheduled to be released on Mother's Day.
MotherKind explores the spiritual education involved in the most fundamental transition most people ever have to face--that of the child becoming the caretaker of the parent. The novel's protagonist, Kate, finds herself caring for her terminally ill mother during the early months of a young marriage and just after she has given birth to her first child. In a single year Kate must come to terms with this intersection of radiant beginnings and profound loss. Phillips tells Kate's story in a delicately layered narrative in which the daily details of life resonate with import and meaning.
Phillips first attracted widespread notice for her eclectic collection of short fiction, Black Tickets, which included a mixture of stylistically daring short pieces resembling prose poems, interior monologues from disenfranchised characters on the fringes of society, and longer stories exploring the complexities of family life. The stories in Black Tickets provide excursions into the sordid side of life--into worlds of violence, loneliness, mental illness, sex and lovelessness--preoccupations, according to James Baker of Newsweek, drawn from "her rootless days on the road" in the mid-1970s. As Raymond Carver noted: "These stories of America's disenfranchised--men and women light-years away from the American dream--are unlike any in our literature. [Phillips] is an original, and this book of hers is a crooked beauty."
The family-centered stories of Black Tickets fed naturally, if not directly, into Phillips first novel, Machine Dreams, which tells the sweeping story of the Hampson family in the years between World War II and Vietnam. Through the experiences and points of view of Mitch, Jean, Danner and Billy Hampson, Phillips explores in miniature the pervasive cultural disillusionment that attend a slowly disintegrating system of values based on the mythical American dream. The result is what Nadine Gordimer called a penetrating portrayal of "the definitive experience of her generation." As a novelist Anne Tayler adds: "The novel's shocks arise from small, ordinary moments, patiently developed, that suddenly burst out with far more meaning than we had expected. And each of these moments owes its impact to an assured and gifted writer."
Like Machine Dreams, Phillips' second novel Shelter continues to explore family ties and generational complexities through the perspectives of a full range of characters, including children caught up in unexpected rites of passage. Set in a West Virginia Girls' Camp in July, 1963, the novel's subtle handling of issues like abuse and incest betray its deeper preoccupation with the nature of human evil, its causes and effects. Phillips, writes one critic in the New Stateman & Society, "has shown herself capable of mixing the banal and the transcendent, the ugly and the beautiful, until they become one reality. . .no one writing fiction in the U.S. today comes near her for linguistic beauty and atavistic, almost reluctant, wisdom."
Phillips has won three additional Pushcart Prizes and one O. Henry Award for individual stories and she was the first writer to receive the Sue Kaufman Award for first fiction from the American Academy and Institute of Arts and Letters. She was selected as a finalist for the 1984 National Book Critics Circle Award in fiction, for Machine Dreams which also received the New York Times citation for one of the best books of the year. A two-time recipient of a fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, Phillips is Writer in Residence at Brandeis University and lives in Boston with her husband and children.
Writers Online Magazine Article
Jayne Anne Phillips' Home Page
Home After Dark, Radcliffe Quarterly
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domain: artistic


Questions - Election Integrity - May 23-24, 2022
National Survey of 1,000 U.S. Likely Voters
Conducted May 23-24, 2022
By Rasmussen Reports
1* Which is more important: Making it easier for everybody to vote, or making sure there is no cheating in elections?
2* Is requiring photo ID to vote a reasonable measure to protect the integrity of elections?
3* How likely is it that cheating affected the outcome of the 2020 presidential election?
4* How important will the issue of election integrity be in this year's congressional elections?
NOTE: Margin of Sampling Error, +/- 3 percentage points with a 95% level of confidence


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Norah's CottagePotter Heigham, North Norfolk
Norah’s Cottage is a gorgeous end of terrace very rural cottage surrounded by countryside and right on the edge of Weavers Way! It is just a mile from Potter Heigham and only a 10 min drive to our lovely dog friendly beaches
Norah’s Cottage is situated in such a quiet spot in a fabulously rural location. It is an end of terrace house (two houses next door) and has a very secure garden.
There is very very little passing traffic, Weavers Way is practically on the doorstep and you have gorgeous views of fields as far as the eye can see.
Smashing country walks, access to our lovely dog friendly beaches and the Norfolk Broads nearby (Potter Heigham of course!!)
NEW WITH PACK HOLIDAYS!!
Reactive Dog 3 Star
This property has a 3 star reactive friendly award. Please read below for further details
3 dogs very welcome, but do ask as we can be very flexible!
Broadband & WiFi
Smoke Free Property
Off road parking for 2 cars
One bathroom (downstairs)
Electric radiators throughout
Waiting on our fabulous first guests to arrive and review
When you arrive
Park your car in the parking area at the side of the house and go straight ahead into the secure garden (via 6 foot solid fence). The front door leads in to the:
Perfect for storing outdoor shoes, leads and doggy towels
Continuing through the next door and turn right into the:
There is plenty of storage space and there is an electric cooker, fridge and freezer, dishwasher and washing machine. You will find a dining table with plenty of seating for all.
The family bathroom is at the rear of the house and has a bath with shower over wash basin and toilet
This relaxing living room has plenty of seating with two three seater settees and a single comfy chair. There is a TV, and unlimited WiFi is included. The living room is carpeted.
Go through the hallway and turn back into the kitchen. The stairs are on the other side of the kitchen. Note that the stairs are a little steep!
On the right hand side at the top of the stairs you will find
The master bedroom has a double bed and a single bed, bedside tables, lamps, wardrobe and dresser. The bedroom has views to the front and rear of the property and the views really are beautiful.
Come back into the hallway and turn left to go into the
This bedroom has views over the rear of the cottage (the views over the field are gorgeous!) It is furnished with a double bed, wardrobe, side tables and lamps
Turn back into the hallway and into :
This bedroom has views over the front of the property and has two single beds.
There is parking for two cars to the side of the property.
The garden is secure and mainly laid to lawn.. There is garden furniture and a gas barbeque.
What we provide
- Tea, coffee, milk and sugar
- All bed linen and towels
- Free wifi throughout
- Dog bowls, towels/dog blankets, holiday dog tags, furniture throws, toys and poo bags
- That Norah’s Cottage is a non smoking cottage and we would be grateful if you could respect this.
Reactive Friendly Award Details
Norah’s Cottage is situated in a very quiet road in a very rural location with little passing traffic.
The garden is all at the front (grassed) and has 7 feet hedging all around and solid 6 foot entrance gate. Once the garden gate is closed the garden is secured .
The cottage is surrounded by farm land. To date, we have had no reports of bird scarers but we will keep an eye on this!
Location & Directions
Norah’s Cottage, Back Lane, Potter Heigham, NR29 5LX
From the A149 Stalham bypass take the turning signposted Hickling, which is opposite the second Catfield turning. Follow New Road to the junction then turn right onto Potter Heigham Road.
Follow Potter Heigham Road and take the first turning on your left down Back Lane. Norah’s Cottage is the first cottage you reach (and you approach it ‘side on’).

domain: travel


text:
IA and NE Health Officials Investigate Intestinal Illness
Des Moines, IA - Health officials in Nebraska and Iowa as well as the CDC are investigating an outbreak of an intestinal illness. Cyclospora, a rare parasite, causes the illness called Cyclosporiasis.
As of today, 22 cases have been reported to state officials in Iowa. At least one person has been hospitalized. Many people say they're still sick with diarrhea and some have reported relapses.
The Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services reported that as of July 5th there had been 13 cases of Cyclospora in Nebraska.
At this point, officials have not identified a specific source of exposure. In the past fresh produce has been linked to outbreaks. It's spread by swallowing water or food that has been contaminated with infected human feces.
Symptoms typically include watery diarrhea that lasts an average of 57 days. For more information about symptoms, go to the Department of Public Health's web site.
Here is the breakdown of cases by counties in Iowa:
Linn County: 10 cases
Fayette County: 3 cases
O'Brien County: 2 cases
Webster County: 2 cases
Benton County: 1 case
Des Moines County: 1 case
Mills County: 1 case
Polk County: 1 case
Van Buren County: 1 case

domain: geography


text:
Time Slips As Sea And Sand Beseech
Sinking low, reduced to a glow
Hues pink, in the eyes come to dance
Bridging the heavens, wondrous trance.
Harmonious, endless, the flow,
Stories untold hidden below.
Tower of rocks for the sky reach,
A barrier caressing the beach.
Golden drops where sun’s heat is caught
And lost no more wood gnarled with knot.
Time slips as sea and sand beseech.
@2021 Heather – Home Study From The Grateful Heart All Rights Reserved
The photograph is of an oil painting of mine. I painted it ages ago (or so it seems), but it remains one of my favorites. I used it as inspiration to write this poem.
This poem was written in response to Ronovan Writes Decima Poetry Challenge Prompt No. 46: KNOT in the D rhyme line. We could also make a link between this Decima and the Haiku Challenge Prompt using the words SLIP and TIME.

domain: literature


text:
C.S. Wachter isn’t letting any grass grow under her feet (cliche, I know). But it was just a few short months ago on February 16, 2018 that her first book, The Sorcerer’s Bane was published and got rave reviews. The Sorcerer’s Bane introduced us to Prince Rayne, or the slave boy, Wren, and his story wrenched my heart and made me love him and want him to survive. This first book also gave us hope as it introduced the One and his work in Wren’s life.
Now, in Book 2 of “The Seven Words” series, The Light Arises, releases on May 29, 2018, C.S. Wachter does not disappoint. As a matter of fact, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I liked The Light Arises even better than The Sorcerer’s Bane. This, to me, seems an unlikely feat from a debut author, but C.S. Wachter has nailed it. She has proven that she can definitely write a story that will hold my interest, make me love the characters and cheer for them; make me laugh with them and cry with or for them. An author who can evoke that much emotion within me while I read his or her words is an author with longevity as far as I’m concerned.
In The Light Arises, Rayne struggles with relationships in his home on the world of Ochen. Though he is the Prince, he has been gone for many years and has recently returned. While he was gone, his parents, King Theodor and and Queen Rowena, have devoted themselves to Rayne’s cousin, Brayden. There have been problems between Brayden and Rayne since they were young boys, but now Brayden is insufferable. He is the cause of a strain between Rayne and his parents, so Rayne feels the need to leave his home.
He is not happy to leave the parents he has just been reunited with, but the One has called him for a higher purpose. He is to be the Light Bringer who is to find the seven words hidden on the seven worlds in order to defeat the darkness. He is to begin by bringing light to Veres, a world one can only enter if involved in the brutal games arranged by the Sorial merchants. Rayne is forced to become slave Wren once again to infiltrate the games to skip to the isolated world.
Still more trouble awaits in the form of a golden-haired girl who has vivid memories of the day an assassin came and destroyed her world and disabled her father. She plans to kidnap the prince in order to get King Theodor to help her people.
As I said, this book doesn’t disappoint. There is still lots of action and battling the forces of evil, as well as a promised hope. The Light Arises kept me turning pages to the very end and I eagerly await Book 3 of “The Seven Words” series by C.S. Wachter.
My only question is: will Book 3 be even better than Book 2?
If you like Christian Fantasy stories, I highly recommend these first two books in “The Seven Words” series by C. S. Wachter. If you’ve already read The Sorcerer’s Bane, you don’t want to miss The Light Arises. If you haven’t read The Sorcerer’s Bane, what are you waiting for? Read it and then grab The Light Arises and keep reading!
2 thoughts on “The Light Arises by C.S. Wachter”
Thanks for the wonderful review!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome!


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From March 2006 to July 2006
Project Leader(s): Mike Coombes
Staff: Colin Wymer, Simon Raybould
Contact: Mike Coombes
Sponsors: North East Regional Information Partnership (NERIP)
2001 Census migration data was analysed to define Housing Market Areas (HMAs). Methodological development work undertaken in Tyne & Wear and County Durham is extended to the rest of the region.
Professor Mike Coombes


text: Planina Cave, one of the longest Slovenian water caves, is a huge tunnel and the subterranean bed of the Unica River. It is situated in Inner Carniola. Five hundred meters from the entrance into the cave is a confluence of two underground rivers: the Pivka River, flowing from the Postojna Polje through Postojna Cave, and the Rak River, flowing from Rakov Škocjan. This is one of the largest confluences of subterranean rivers in Europe. Entrance into the cave is at the southwestern part of Planina Polje in the gable end valley below 65 high rocks. The length of the cave is 6,656 metres (21,837 ft).


text:
Next Auction: Saturday January 20th @ 9am
Want to view the complete, printable catalog for this sale? Click here to download the sale catalog.
Sale Preview: Friday, January 19th from 2-7pm
Want to see how our past gun auctions went? View our sale archives to check past catalogs and sale prices.
Don’t want to miss an upcoming auction or firearm? Join our Gun Buyers List!

domain: hobby


text:
Police say a body has been pulled out of a New Jersey river but they do not consider the death suspicious.
Hunterdon County Prosecutor Anthony P. Kearns III says a body was seen floating in the Raritan River in Readington Township on Thursday. MyCentralJersey.com reports that bystanders pulled out the body after they noticed the person was not breathing.
Kearns says police and his office responded to the scene and the death is under investigation.
Breaking news and the stories that matter to your neighborhood.

domain: law


text:
If you’re in the market for a new home, you may be wondering which architects to hire. After all, there are a lot of great ones out there. But which are the best? In this blog post, we’ll take a look at some of the best architects in Lahore and recommend them to you based on their experience and skill set. From modern homes to traditional designs, these architects will have your home rebuilt in no time.
What are the benefits of working with an architect?
Working with an architect can be incredibly beneficial for your home renovation project. Here are some of the benefits:
1. An experienced architect can help you navigate the numerous and complex regulations governing home reconstruction in Pakistan.
2. They can advise you on the most efficient way to complete your project and make sure it meets all applicable safety requirements.
3. An architect can provide valuable insight into the history and architecture of your target neighbourhood, which can help you create a design that is both distinctive and complementary to the area.
4. An architect’s professional judgement ensures that your project is carried out to specification, minimizing potential problems along the way.
Read More: Best Bathroom Tiles Design in Pakistan
How do you choose an architect?
There are a lot of things to consider when choosing an architect, from the type of home you want to build to your budget. Here are three tips for choosing the best architects for your project:
1. Talk to Friends and Family
Ask around for recommendations and see who has had success building or renovating homes in the past. You can also check online directories of architects.
2. Examine Your Needs and Preferences
Once you have a few candidates, take time to think about what you want and need from an architect. Consider your budget, location, style and other preferences, such as whether you want a traditional or contemporary home. Do some research on specific architects before meeting with them so you know what to expect.
3. Ask For referrals
Finally, don’t be afraid to ask friends and family if they know someone who is good at working with Architects or knows somebody who has worked with an Architect in the past.
What is involved in a consultation with an architect?
Starting the process of choosing an architect can be quite daunting. There are a lot of different considerations to make, ranging from budget to style. To make things easier for you, we’ve put together a list of the best architects in Lahore to help with your rebuilding project.
When talking to an architect, it’s important to have a clear vision for what you want your home to look like. They’ll be able to give you advice on how to achieve your goals and help guide you through the entire renovation process.
Some factors that will influence the design of your home include its location, size, and style. The architect will also take into account any existing features such as windows and doors. Once you have a general idea of what you want, the architect will start drawing up plans.
A typical consultation with an architect may involve several visits over a period of weeks or months. During these visits, the architect will work with you closely to finalize plans and make sure everything is tailored specifically for your needs. If there are any changes or updates that need to be made along the way, they’ll be handled immediately so that your renovation stays on schedule.
What should you expect during construction?
When it comes to remodeling or constructing a new home, you’ll want to consider hiring an architect. Here are some things you should expect during construction:
1. The architect will create a plan and timeline of the project. This will help ensure that everything goes according to schedule and that all materials and measurements are accurate.
2. The architects will work with the contractor who is hired to do the actual work. This allows for a smooth, coordinated process from start to finish.
3. The architect will oversee the finishing touches of your home, ensuring that it meets all of your specific needs and specifications.
Finding the perfect architect to rebuild your home can be a daunting task. But don’t worry, we have compiled a list of some of the best architects in Lahore who are licensed and insured and will go above and beyond to provide you with high-quality reconstruction services. We know that you will find one or more of these architects on our list to be the perfect fit for your needs, so don’t delay – call us today!

domain: design


text:
We determined the crystal structure of the full-length cAMP phosphodiesterase Rv0805 from Mycobacterium tuberculosis. Furthermore we showed, that localization of Rv0805 to the bacterial cell wall is dependent on its C terminus, and expression of either wild type or mutationally inactivated Rv0805 in M. smegmatis alters cell permeability to hydrophobic cytotoxic compounds. Rv0805 may therefore play a key role in the pathogenicity of mycobacteria, not only by hydrolyzing bacterial cAMP, but also by moonlighting as a protein that can alter cell wall functioning.
We studied the effect of phenobarbital on transcription in livers of wild type, CAR-/-, PXR-/- and CAR/PXR-/- knockout mice. In primary cultures of hepatocytes isolated from CAR/PXR -/- knockout mice, it increased HNF-4alpha levels. We provided evidence that it directly induces transcription of the PPARalpha gene via its HNF-4alpha response element, and indirectly by lack of inhibitory crosstalk of AMPK, CAR and PXR with HNF-4alpha. Our results provide further insight into CAR and PXR independent effects of phenobarbital and the crosstalk between different nuclear receptor signaling pathways.
In K5 and K14 mutant (EBS) keratinocytes we found many genes associated with the cytoskeleton having altered expression levels; in particular cell junction components are down-regulated. That this is due to the expression of the mutant keratins, and not to other genetic variables, is supported by experiments on isogenic cells we generated from wild type keratinocytes transfected with the same K5 and 14 mutations. These findings help explain other aspects of EBS-associated pathology. The weakened cell junctions may be also contributing to the reported increased risk of BCC in EBS patients.
Functional polymorphism 68G)C (Cys23Ser) and promoter polymorphism -995G)A of serotonin receptor 2C (HTR2C) have already been investigated, but no association with suicide was found. However, we observed significant association between female suicide victims and polymorphism 68G)C. The significance remained when we combined alleles of female and male populations. An excess of GG genotype and allele G was observed. No statistically important differences were present when only males were analyzed. Haplotype analysis on female population showed marginal association of haplotype G-C with suicide.
Pegylation is considered one of the most efficient methodologies for half-life extension of biopharmaceutical drugs that also improves physicochemical and biological characteristics of proteins. To explore the impact of polyethylene glycol (PEG) size on 'in vitro' potency, a series of well-defined conjugates of interferon a-2b (IFN) were prepared with PEGs of different lengths and shapes. Beside of the expected impact of the increased molecular size, the studies revealed incredibly high correlation between 'in vitro' potency and chromatographic behavior on the cation exchange chromatography.


Condoling the death of Rajasthan BJP leader Kiran Maheshwari, Prime Minister Narendra Modi said on Monday that she had made numerous efforts to work towards the progress of the state, and empower the poor and marginalised.
Maheshwari, 59, had tested positive for coronavirus and died at a hospital in Gurgaon on Sunday night. The Prime Minister's Office tweeted Modi's condolence message, "Pained by the untimely demise of Kiran Maheshwari Ji. Be it as MP, MLA or Cabinet Minister in the Rajasthan Government, she made numerous efforts to work towards the progress of the state and empower the poor as well as marginalised. Condolences to her family. Om Shanti." .
Maheshwari, a three-time MLA from Rajsamand, was undergoing treatment at Medanta hospital for the past few days. She passed away late Sunday night. Lok Sabha Speaker Om Birla, Rajasthan Chief Minister Ashok Gehlot, Assembly Speaker CP Joshi, BJP state president Satish Poonia and other leaders condoled her demise.
"Saddened to know of the untimely demise of BJP leader & Rajsamand MLA Kiran Maheshwari ji. My heartfelt condolences to her family members & supporters in this most difficult time," Gehlot tweeted. Expressing grief over the MLA's death, Joshi in a tweet said, "Shocked to hear about the untimely demise of Rajsamand MLA, Kiran Maheshwari Ji. My deepest condolences to the whole family and prayers to God to provide Strength to bear this loss (sic)."