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This week, I’m bringing you a super special episode that you’re going to get so much out of. I’m introducing you to two members of my Overcome Pornography for Good team, Kat and Tina. They’re both amazing coaches with a wealth of knowledge on what it takes for true change to happen, and they’re here to share their insights.
Kat and Tina are amazing pillars of support inside our community who both ensure you get what you need on your journey. They’ve been coaching and helping my clients change their lives, and today, they have 6 key lessons that they want you to know when it comes to overcoming pornography.
Join us as we dive into the top things they coach on and 6 things you really need to know as you work on changing your unwanted porn use. We’re discussing the importance of examining your limiting beliefs, how to start listening to your body, and why tuning into gratitude and celebration is more crucial than you might think.
You are listening to the Overcome Pornography for Good podcast episode 65, six key lessons with Kat and Tina.
Welcome to the Overcome Pornography for Good podcast, the show that will teach you how to stop viewing pornography and never go back to it. If you want to learn how to train your brain out of a pornography habit, completely shame-free, then this is the show for you. I’m your host Sara Brewer, a certified life and faith-based coach.
Hey, everyone, welcome to the podcast episode this week. I am excited to share this interview with you. This last week I interviewed Kat and Tina, they are members of my team in Overcome Pornography For Good. They work as coaches, you'll hear me introduce them here in a moment. And they are here to share six key lessons for those of you who want to overcome pornography for good. Six big things that they coach on, six big things that they want everyone who's quitting pornography to know.
So enjoy this interview. But before we hop into the interview with them, I wanted to thank you. Thank all of you who have been leaving me reviews on Apple Podcasts, thank you so much. I read all of them and I just really, really appreciate it and love it and I want to share one of those with you that was recently left here on the podcast.
It says, “Worth every minute of your time. I have tried many things in the past self-help books, counseling, addiction recovery programs, nothing seemed to make a difference long term. Once I started trying to follow Sara’s steps: looking for the root feelings, changing the way I think about myself and about pornography, and not shaming myself every time I slipped, I have felt better about myself and have hope like I haven't known in over 20 years. And best of all, these ideas and techniques work for so much more than just pornography.”
And there's another one here. It says, “I've listened to podcasts in the past about overcoming pornography, but always felt like I was being talked down to. Sara has an amazing gift of sharing her passion for self-help in a way that makes the listener feel unashamed and worthy of help. I can't recommend this podcast enough if you are currently struggling.”
Yeah, thank you so much. And there's a handful of other ones here that I could read, and maybe we'll get to them in other podcast episodes. But thank you so much. If you haven't left a review and you're feeling inspired to do so, it's really simple. You just scroll down to the bottom of your podcast app, and you type it in, and push submit. They make it really easy for you. And, you know, I really appreciate it over here.
And if you are loving the podcast, getting a lot of value, making changes, but you need more help, you're ready for the next step, I want to invite you to come and join the program. That's where we take everything in the podcast, and we apply it, and we use it to transform. And you get all this one-on-one help, private help, coaching help so we can take these things that we're learning and take them to the next level and apply them.
And so you'll hear from Kat and Tina today, they’re coaches that you would be working with in the program alongside with me. So when you join the program, you get weekly live coaching calls with me every single week, and then any supportive coaching. You know, sometimes they come in and do coaching calls occasionally or do workshops, do one-on-one help, answer some questions. There's just a lot of support.
Anyways, you'll hear me talk about this here in the interview in just a moment. But if you're interested, if you're ready to sign up, you can go to sarabrewer.com/workwithme. And enjoy this interview with Kat and Tina.
Sara: Hey, you guys, welcome to the podcast this week. I am so excited, this week I get to introduce you to Kat and Tina. They are here, they are coaches in Overcome Pornography For Good. And they do a number of things in the program between coaching one-on-one clients, group calls occasionally, workshops, answering questions. Having them on the team really allows us to give you as much support as you could possibly need or ever want in the program, right?
We offer lifetime coaching, we offer lifetime access to an Ask A Coach coaching board, we offer lots of private coaching opportunities. And they're here in the program to help me do that. And they're just awesome, amazing, amazing, amazing coaches. I take my interview process very seriously and I took a lot of time to find people that I thought would be a good fit.
They have the same certifications that I do. We're going through some certification together. We do weekly trainings together where we talk about things and I teach them my process and, you know, they're just awesome. They're so awesome, we're so lucky to have them and I'm really excited for you to hear from them and listen to them today.
So, Kat, Tina, do you, well let's start with Kat, do you want to introduce yourself?
Kat: Sure, my name is Kat Jenkins, I have been working for Sarah for about five months now and it has just been such a blessing in my life. And I just love chatting with all of our clients that we have here in the program. And it's just made me have so much more love for people in general. Something that I did not expect to happen, I think, was the overwhelming amount of love that I have for everyone in the program.
And not only there, but like I find it like in my life as well. And so I just love working for Sarah. It's just been such a pleasure.
Sarah: Cool, thank you. Yeah, thank you. Kat works with a number of one-on-one clients, and they love her, and she's just the best. So Tina, do you want to introduce yourself?
Tina: Yeah, so I've been working for Sarah since last summer, I haven't counted the months. I don't know how many months that is, but it's been since last summer. And I remember, I think it was after I had been with you for a couple of months, Sarah, and we were emailing back and forth and I said something like, do you ever feel like this is just a sacred space that we're working in? And you were like, yes. And that's exactly how it feels.
I think Kat was saying the same thing, it’s that we feel so privileged to be able to help people in such an intimate and difficult, with something that is so difficult for them. And helping them get to where they want to be in their lives where they feel so stuck and so shameful, and help them move past that into a place where they have more love and compassion for themselves. And get to just kind of spread that around the world. I think it's wonderful.
Sarah: Yeah, that's something common that we talk about, is we feel so honored to get to work with the people that we work with. And it's kind of, I don't know, sometimes the quit porn world is really intense and really, you know, lay down the law type stuff.
And we just, like we look at everyone who is in the program, we look at our clients and we're like, these people are amazing. They are amazing. They're doing really great things. They have really great desires, and look how strong they are. And we're so blessed and lucky to get to be a part of this process with them. I think we all feel that a little.
So much so I have right here on my, what you're saying is reminding me of my sticky note that I keep here on my desk. It says dignity, dignity, and love. And just ever since I started coaching, and I think this is something like a culture we've started to cultivate here is just dignity. It's just been the word that's always come to me.
Thinking about myself, and then thinking about my program, and thinking about all the clients, and thinking about all the work that we do here is just dignity and love. There is so much dignity that we need too, that is here and that we can access and that we can embody.
Sarah: Okay, so I'm going to have Kat and Tina, we're going to talk about the biggest things that they want you all to know. They want listeners to know about quitting porn, some key takeaway, some key lessons, some of the most important things that they've learned.
So you're going to get a lot of good stuff in kind of a short amount of time. So listen up. And we'll start with, Kat, we'll have you share yours. And we'll hop in and discuss. And Tina, you can add anything. And then, Tina, we’ll have you share yours and we'll dance back and forth a little bit.
So, Kat, first thing for you on your list. What is it?
Kat: The first thing that I want to share is that, and it's this thing that keeps coming up for me and I’m finding it everywhere in my life. And I just think it is so pertinent, is that it's never a bad time to course correct. A lot of thoughts that I hear and a lot of things that I hear from our clients here is like, I just messed up today, so it doesn't matter. It's too late. This day is shot, so I guess I'll start again tomorrow.
And all of these times where we feel like we just need to give up for the day because we've already made a mistake, so there's no way to turn back. And I just want everybody to know that it's never a bad time. It's never a bad time to stop and say, I'm going to start doing something different right now, in this moment.
I just finished a book and one of the things that he said at the end was like, what happens next matters most. Like the moment after something happens is the thing that matters more than what we did in that moment.
So when we make a mistake, or we slip up, or we have a relapse, it's never a bad time to say, okay, what am I going to do now? What will I do next? What is my next move? In this next moment what will I do? Instead of, you know, throwing your hands up and saying, well, I already messed up, so I guess I'm just going to keep going down this path.
We can always turn around. We can always course correct and choose a different path.
Sara: Yeah, I love that. That happens, we slip up and we're like, well I ruined the whole day over.
Kat: It’s over.
Sara: It's all over.
Tina: Or we see that happen a lot with like I slipped up once and then that leads to two or three more times over the next day or two, it just leads to a cycle. And so I think that's awesome, Kat, that it's never too late to course correct, to just make a different choice.
Sara: Yeah, if we're not careful we get into the bingeing, like okay, well, I'm going to wait until Monday to start again. When really that's just our brain that’s lying to us. Truly, the more we look at porn, the more we want porn. And so thinking, okay, let me just get it all out of my system right now,
it isn't actually, getting it out of your system isn't actually helping you to quit porn.
Cool, I love it. Thank you. Okay, Tina.
Tina: Mine is pretty similar to Kat’s, I think. My first one is talk to your brain more than you listen to your brain. Because say you did slip up once your brain is going to give you all those thoughts that we just went through, right? And plus more probably. And it's going to tell you all sorts of things like you're never going to overcome this, you aren't worthy. It's going to tell you all the shameful things that keep you stuck where you are.
But our brains are so, they're kind of like toddlers running around the house with a knife. You don't let a toddler run around the house with a knife, they just do a lot of damage. And so when we direct our brains more than we listen to them and let them go unsupervised, we can think thoughts on purpose that will take us to a different place.
And if you look at the model, it all kind of stems and just flows right from the thought. So those thoughts are really important that we choose to think and that we choose to tell ourselves. And doing it on purpose is really important.
Sara: Yeah, I think I said that in an episode last week or a couple weeks ago, that we don't give ourselves much credit for what we can change and the thoughts we can change. Sometimes we think, well, I just am having these thoughts, sorry. They're just happening.
Tina: Well, and realizing that it's just your brain that's giving you thoughts. And we have these tasks that pop into our brain, and we make them me and all sorts of things. We live in such a cognitive society, that we live so much in our heads that we have these thoughts that pop into our brain, and we think that they're true.
Sara: And I love that visual of the toddler with a knife.
Tina: Like you don't let your two year old get butcher knives and run around the house, you just don't do that. But we do the equivalent of that with our brain so often.
Sara: Yeah, we just let them go crazy and think all these things and we just let them, and we just believe them. Do you have an example, Tina, of what that might look like? Like what it looks like to let a toddler run around with a knife in your brain?
Tina: Yeah, I think the perfect example is that I slipped up once and now, oh, I might as well get it out of my system. Or I might as well just, like this day is shot I might as well just do it again. Or I really want it and so that means there's just something wrong with me, you know? So apparently I'm broken.
You know, things like that, when we believe thoughts like that it's the equivalent of letting a toddler run around the house with knife.
Sara: Yeah, yeah. And even all the shame spirals is what I’m hearing you say too, what's wrong with me? I'm such an idiot. Stab, stab, stab.
Tina: Just doing lots of damage.
Sara: Yeah. How do we get rid of that? How do we stop that toddler?
Tina: Yeah, we need to do more intentional thoughts in our everyday practice. So, you know, looking at the model every day, doing some type of morning or daily practice every day I think is really important. Whether it's a model, or whether it's meditation, or some breathing exercises. But just to give ourselves a little bit of space to set intentions for the day. And be very careful about the thoughts that we entertain in our brain and questioning them.
There's three questions that I like to run thoughts through with my clients when they give me thoughts that I think are like, you know, that toddler stabbing. And it's, is it true? And if it's true, it has to be true 100% of the time, not just sometimes. But is this thought true? The next one, is it kind? Which often our thoughts are not kind to ourselves. And three, is it helpful?
And so if it can't pass those three questions, then it's probably not a thought we need to keep entertaining. And we just need to like dismiss it. Maybe this isn't true, maybe something else is true. What can I think instead? How can I move towards believing something else?
Sara: Yeah. And I love that, I love that distinction too between is it helpful? Because even if, let's say it's technically true, or it feels really true to you and you can't convince yourself it's not, you still don't have to think it. You don't have to let your brain run wild with it if it's not helpful, even if it's true.
Tina: Well, and the is it kind. And so often we think we have to beat ourselves up to stop doing something like porn, or any other buffer that we might have. Or like I just have to be so hard on myself to like discipline myself into being better, but that doesn't work.
Sara: Okay, Kat, what’s your second one?
Kat: So my second one is we talk a lot about the model, and we talk a lot about being intentional with our thoughts, which is all amazing. But sometimes there's these thoughts that we just keep trying to like swap and change, but like it's not like really working for us. And that's when I think we need to start really being on the lookout for these beliefs that we have. Like our limiting beliefs that are there and that we just believe are true, so we just keep believing them.
And we keep swapping out thoughts, and changing our thoughts, and trying to be intentional, but nothing seems to change. And that's when we really need to challenge what we really believe about ourselves.
I have a story about this. So I got this pillow, and I went and like they did a stress test on me. And they told me, this is your pillow. And I believed it, I was like this is my pillow and it will be my pillow. And I need this pillow to sleep. I can't sleep without any other pillow. Like I loved this pillow. My husband would steal it from me and hide it sometimes just to see what I would do, and I'd be like, “Where's my pillow? I can't sleep without my pillow.”
And I got to a point where I couldn't take it everywhere with me. I couldn't take it on trips. It was really heavy, it's a really heavy pillow, it takes up a lot of space in my luggage. And one time I forgot it at my sister's house, and I died for two weeks before I got my pillow back because I had this belief that I could not sleep without this pillow. And so I always come back to this when we talk about limiting beliefs and the things that hold us back because I now believe that I do not need this pillow to sleep.
I can sleep without this pillow. I can sleep on any pillow. I used to leave the house and be like, “I will not sleep for three days while we're on vacation because I don't have my pillow.” And I didn't have to change this thought that I love my pillow, because I still do. I love this pillow, always. But I now believe that I can sleep on other pillows and it's totally fine. I am okay to sleep on other pillows, not a problem.
And we just went on vacation for spring break, I didn't take my pillow with me, I slept just fine. Life is so different now that I've let go of this belief that I had that I can't live without this pillow. Like that was my belief, that I could not live without it. And once I dropped that, I still could believe that I love this pillow because I do, I love this pillow. But now that I don't believe that it's like the only thing for me, I can sleep anywhere, anytime.
And I think we do this with porn, right? Like we want to believe like, I hate porn or porn is bad. And sometimes we try to swap those thoughts, but when our underlying belief is we don't know who we are without porn, or I don't know who I am without porn, or I can't be somebody or be myself without this because it's so ingrained in who I am. And when we start to really believe that, changing our thoughts about porn won’t help us to stop it.
We will continue to go back to that because that deep-seated limiting belief is that I don't know who I am without it, or I can't be somebody, or I can't be myself without it. And so you just got to leave the pillow at home and be okay to sleep on other things and try out other things in our life and test out other ways.
Sara: Yeah, I love that. One thing I hear from a lot of people is, “Well, this is just a belief. It's a deep limiting belief, so it's just there.” So what do we do? What do we do when we have those, and we don't know how to change them?
Kat: We have to be willing to challenge that. I did not want to give up this pillow because I had this super strong belief. But it was really limiting what I could do. Like it was hindering my life when I left the house, when I went anywhere, when I did stuff. And I finally had to be like, “I can't keep living like this where I can't go anywhere without my pillow, I can't have a life without my pillow.” I finally decided I need to look at other options, like this can't be my only option for myself.
If it's holding you back in a way that you can't progress forward and that it's stifling your sleep, like my health was terrible because I literally would not sleep for days on end when I’d go places because I was like, well, I guess I just won't sleep. But we need those things sometimes, we need to challenge that belief that this is the only way.
It's like that all or nothing, when we get stuck in this is it, this is the only way and be willing to challenge that maybe there is a different way. Maybe I could try something else. Maybe I can open myself up to there being another option here.
Sarah: Yeah, instead of just I'm someone who has to sleep with a special pillow, that's just how I was born.
Kat: That’s who I am. That's it. Yeah, like letting go of that and saying, oh, maybe I'm not someone who has to have this pillow. Maybe I am someone who can sleep on other things and still love who I am before. Like still love that person that was stuck here before but being willing to be like, I can be somebody new.
Tina: Yeah. And there's things that we believe about ourselves that we don't even question, like equivalent to your pillow, like, oh, I'm just a person that overthinks everything. Or I'm just not this kind of person, or I'm just that kind of person. And we just believe those things about ourself, but then don't actually realize that we're making those things come true that we believe about ourselves because we're not recognizing that we can challenge them.
Kat: Yeah, that's just my personality. That's just who I am. I can't change that, I'm stuck here because someone told me that this is who I am. I'm just this way. No, I do love my pillow, but I can let it go.
Tina: Sometimes it's really hard to challenge who you think you are. I think those are some of the hardest things, those things that we've been told about you're such a reactive person, or you create so much drama, or you're so emotional.
Kat: You’re so loud.
Tina: You’re so loud, yeah. Those kind of things can be really hard to challenge, but we get to believe whatever we want about ourselves.
I remember, I think it was Russell Brand, I could be getting it wrong, but I heard him talking about porn once. And he was talking about letting go of porn, but he also equated it to like exercise. He goes I just believed that I'm not a person that exercises, I don't exercise. And then one day I just decided to put on some shoes and go for a run.
And it was more of a walk than run, but then I just thought, hey, I’m a person that exercises. And then all of a sudden I was like, well, I want to exercise more because I'm a person that exercises. So whatever we believe about ourselves, we're just going to make it come true.
Sara: Yeah, and I love how you say you get to choose whatever you want to believe about yourself. There is no one out there that's going to come up to you and say, “No, sorry, you are not someone who can quit porn. You can't think about yourself. You can't think that, you're not allowed.” You totally are allowed. Even if you don't tell anyone what you're thinking about yourself, you can just start to change how you think about yourself, and no one can keep that from you. No one can make you stop that.
Sara: And so true just that we think change is going to happen by changing what we're doing. But true change happens with how we are thinking about ourselves. And then the actions just happen, and the change continues. But it really starts with changing those limiting beliefs. So I love that. Love that point. Would you agree that that's the hard work of coaching?
Sara: That's why we have sessions with people, and we talk about it, and we dive into it. It takes some time sometimes. Sometimes, it doesn't have to. Doesn't have to. Okay, good. Tina, what is your next one?
Tina: So I love working with the body and listening to the wisdom of the body because I think we get so caught up in our heads. We live in this world where we just have these crazy thoughts and these things that just dictate our life by our brains. But I think there's so much wisdom that we lose by not paying attention to our bodies.
And I like to work in this space a lot with my one-on-one clients in that what is your body trying to tell you right now? We have a lot more receptors and nerves that go from the body up to the brain than the brain down to the body. So like when I work with my clients about having an urge, for example, and I ask them, tell me your process for processing an urge. And quite often they will tell me about the thoughts they're having in their brain.
You just got to drop those thoughts and focus on what your body is telling you. It's really important. You're never going to solve a problem that's in your body or something that's going on in your body by using your mind to do that.
So just focusing on the body, listening to its wisdom, and not just with urges for porn, but also like lots of times our bodies are becoming very alert with things that are around us. And we've been doing a lot of this work in our trauma informed certification that we're doing. But looking at like, when am I feeling triggered with something? And paying attention to why that's happening.
Am I feeling disrespected? Am I feeling like this person isn't hearing me right now, and so I'm in this room full of people, but I'm feeling so lonely? Or am I feeling just like so shameful that I can't even connect with the people around me?
Like what is your body trying to tell you? Because your body has a lot of wisdom, and we don't pay attention to it. And our feelings, the things that our body tells us have a lot to teach us about ourselves. And I think it's really important that we pay attention to that.
And I think this almost contradicts what I said in my first one, like talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself. But that's in your brain but I think it is important to listen to your body and what it's trying to tell you because there's a lot of wisdom that we can gain and knowledge we can gain about ourselves by doing that.
Sara: Yeah. Yeah, two different areas, there's your body and your there's your brain. When you talk about listening to your body, what are some of the things that might, I don't know, I can just hear people being like, “What the heck do you mean by listen to your body?”
Tina: Yeah, so look at those times, I think it's the easiest to start when you feel a strong emotion. So think of a strong emotion like anger or sadness, let's just take those two. Those feel very different in your body. So let's just, like anger for me, my face gets really red, and my hands start to shake, and I feel kind of like a vibrating in my chest. And it kind of feels like there's this energy that just wants to explode.
So if I took that energy and I just kind of spewed it all over the people that I'm around because I was feeling angry about something and I didn't pay attention to why I was feeling angry, that could really damage the relationships that I have with people. That would probably be something that I would come back later and say, “Oh, yeah, I shouldn't have done that.” You know, some regret later on.
But paying attention, like why am I feeling angry right now? Checking in with yourself. And we know that it's coming from thoughts that we're having, so just exploring. Like what am I thinking about the situation right now that's causing this anger to come up in me?
And maybe I don't have to spill it out into the world. Maybe I do need to say something after I have processed this feeling of anger in my body, but I don't need to do it from a place of being very triggered. I have to do it from a place of, okay, I’m going to calm my nervous system right now, and then I can access my higher brain to come and address this problem later.
Because when we get really triggered like that, our oxygen to our higher brain is cut off. That's why we do all those things.
Sara: Really? I didn't know that.
Tina: Yeah, it is. We get really triggered in that fight or flight and it cuts off the oxygen to our higher brain. That's why we do so many crazy things when we’re really triggered and we come back later when we're calm and we go, “Oh, I wish I wouldn't have done that.”
Or we get that freeze response where something happens and like I can't even access the thoughts, like I’m totally frozen, I have no idea how to even form words right now. You know, because it cuts off the oxygen to our higher brain. So calming that nervous system, listening to our body, going into our body, and processing those emotions there before we try to go back into the brain is really helpful.
Sara: Yeah, it's probably a practice of asking yourself too, what do I really need in this moment? I'm feeling all these urges or I'm feeling whatever it is, and I want porn, but what is it that I really need? What's really happening here for me? Am I feeling stressed? Am I feeling bored? Am I feeling lonely? Am I feeling shame? Am I feeling all the things and what do I actually need?
Because the porn is just me trying to escape that. But what do I truly need? What's my body telling me I need? And sometimes, sometimes that's to change the way you're thinking about things. Well, actually, I think what I'm hearing you say is when we're listening to our body, we need to start to calm that, and then we can go there into our brain.
Tina: Yeah, it's a lot more helpful to do that, to be able to really figure out okay, what do I need right now? And I can't tell you how many times I've coached people and we’ve found out that they turned to porn when their body really needed something else. Like they really needed sleep, they really needed to connect with something, they really were hungry.
There's just something that their body needed, but they solved it with porn because that was a practiced habit for them and their brain was just saying, “Well, this is how we solve problems, so let's go do that.” But if they'd listen to their body, it would have been solved a different way.
And if we don't give our bodies what it needs, turning to something else, no matter how much we do it, is never going to fulfill that need. We’re never going to get enough of that other thing when it's not really what we need.
Sara: Yeah, it reminds me of intuitive eating.
Tina: Yes, that's what I was thinking of when I thought of this one. I’m like intuitive eating is also listening to your body.
Sara: Yeah, because we're also used to going to the kitchen to get a snack for any discomfort we're feeling in our bodies instead of asking our bodies. What do we really need right now? Do we really need some nutrients? Or do we really need sleep? Or do we really need to get this task done? Or do we really need whatever?
Tina: Absolutely. Yeah, it's not just porn, it's food, it's social media, it's all the buffers, right?
Kat: You talking about the body, it reminded me of when I first realized that I was really trying to be in tune with my emotions and I realized that me being excited and me being scared gave me the same feelings in my body. Like sometimes it's just, and then we’d check in with that, like well, what am I feeling?
Because I remember standing in the dark and somebody scared me, my daughter scared me, and I just realized, wait, this scared feeling is the exact way that I feel when I get excited about stuff. And it just was like this revelation to me of like our body has sensations and feelings, and just noticing what that is.
And it feels the same sometimes, but then saying like, I love that, like well, what does my body need? In a scared moment you probably want to run and in an excited moment you’d want to stay there and feel it more. But it's feels the same in your body sometimes, so to be willing to stop and say, “Well, wait, what is this? What is this that I'm feeling?” I love that.
Sara: That's so fascinating. That's so fascinating because those sensations in your body, like it's so fascinating that those sensations can be exciting, and they can also be scary.
Tina: There's a book that talked about that same thing, and it's called, I think it's called The Upside of Stress. How it talks about the way that we talk to ourselves with the reactions that we have in our body in certain situations determines whether we turn to stress, or we turn to excitement, or motivation. It was a really good book, it was one of my favorites. I think I read that last year.
Sara: Cool, so you can interpret the sensations in your body different ways as we start to become more aware of them and more attuned to them. And so then it stops being like, oh, well, this urge is the most miserable thing in the world. And instead, I don't know, this urge is helping me create the life I want. This urge is helping me create discipline, and that's a really beautiful thing for my life. I’m grateful for this urge instead of I hate this urge so much.
Sara: Cool, I love it. Okay, Kat, what’s your third one?
Kat: Okay, so my third one is we have these brains that always go to the negative automatically. We’re so attuned to looking at what's wrong, or what's gone wrong, or how is this bad? But being willing to celebrate our wins, because I hear a lot of well, I went three weeks and then I messed up.
And so they're always focusing on this, well, I messed up, or I slipped up, or I had this issue. But it's like a lot of what we do as coaches is like, you went three weeks, we need to celebrate the things that we are doing. Instead of just looking at how it's bad, or how it's wrong, or how we didn't do it exactly perfect, or being willing to look and celebrate those wins.
I just started reading the High Five Habit, and like it's by Mel Robbins and she's like, give yourself a high five every morning. And that's such a good way to build trust in you yourself in celebrating who you are. And being willing to be like, I'm doing all right here, I'm doing super good.
And just giving yourself a high five in the morning could be a thing that changes everything for you. Developing that trust in yourself and who you are, and finding ways to look for those wins on a daily basis. Like, well, how did I do well, today? What did I do good in? How am I succeeding in this? Instead of, oh, I messed up again, I'm slipping up again.
Sara: Yeah, I think that people in their minds think, well, I can't celebrate too quickly here. I've got to be really on the lookout, make sure that I'm really doing well before I allow myself to celebrate because I don't want to start celebrating and let my guard down.
But that's not the same thing, that's not what's happening when you're celebrating. You're not letting your guard down.
Tina: No, because the things that you focus on, you're going to create more of.
Sara: Yeah, exactly.
Tina: So if you're focusing on, hey, I've done this for three weeks. This is great, I love this. And it creates a feeling you that then you want to do more of that.
Kat: Instead of I've only done create three urges, or I've only processed six things, or I've only done... You did six urges, how great is that? Now it's going to be so much easier to do the seventh and the eighth, because you have like, exactly, then we create more of that wanting to do more and celebrating more and finding more ways that we can celebrate ourselves and what we're doing.
Tina: And the way that we talk about it, Kat, like you just re-framed it. The way that you talk about what you've done is super important. The language that you use and the direction that you're headed is super important, right? I processed three urges, that is awesome. I’m so proud of myself.
Tina: Instead of, it's only three urges. Well, it's only three.
Sara: I spent so much of my life, especially before I found coaching, in this place of I have to do more, I have to do more, I have to do more. Here's my checklist of things, I'm going to get all these things done today. And I’d beat myself up if I didn't do all of them. And then I would fall into spirals, and I would get depressed, and I would not be able to do anything for a couple of weeks, right?
And it wasn't until I really was so intentional with celebrating little, tiny things that I did and made that a practice of feeling proud of myself and allowing myself to go there. As soon as I started doing that, I started doing more, which is a weird paradox. But it wasn't even for the purpose of doing more so I can feel better about myself. It's I'm feeling good and look, I got up, I showered, I did my makeup, whatever. And then doing more from that place of I am enough. I am good, and we're making progress here.
So, so important, I love that. And I also heard that wins, celebrating wins is the same energy, right? We were just talking about how things feel the same in your body, celebration feels similar to gratitude. And gratitude, we know there's study after study after study of how gratitude just improves your life so much. And so wins are similar, it's being grateful for yourself, and it will create similar results that a life full of gratitude would.
Kat: I love that. Yeah, I have this quote next to my computer that says, “The better you feel, the more likely you will do.” Which is exactly what you were saying, right? The better you feel, the more likely you're going to do and that's just the byproduct of feeling good about yourself and feeling willing to celebrate. And it just creates more actions towards good things and better things. And it's not necessarily our goal, maybe per se, but it is just feeling better will help us do more.
Sara: Yeah. And I think it's important too, when you're thinking of things to celebrate, to maybe go outside the box a little bit if you need to. So instead of, oh, well, I didn't look at porn for three days or six days. What else is here that we can celebrate if that didn't happen? You know, maybe I didn't fall into a binge cycle. Or I didn't watch it again, maybe I viewed it in the morning, but then I didn't watch it again later like I usually do.
Kat: Yeah, I set my phone down for five minutes and just walked away. Like it doesn't have to be huge, it can just be, like you said, the tiniest thing that you did is helping you move in the direction that you want to go.
Sara: Yeah, I noticed that I was buffering this time. I saw what was really going on. And maybe I didn't do anything different this time, but at least I noticed that I was feeling stress. So good. Okay, Tina.
Tina: Okay, my last one is I love to talk about getting space in the model. So if you look at the model, we have our circumstance, thought, feeling, action, result. And it’s a process of going through those models and doing this daily work that we talk about. And then you've come to a point where you start looking, first you start looking at your models like from the afterwards, right? So, oh, this is what happened for me. And then going back and I'm looking at it after the fact.
But then you get to a point where you can start getting some space in the model. Where I see there's a circumstance here and how do I want to think about this? It’s just slowing everything down, like being less reactionary and more responsive. Or I'm feeling something right now, where's this feeling coming from? I'm having this urge, why did I have this urge? And just slowing it down instead of being like, right into that action or the results, right?
Or even in the action line, slowing that down and saying, oh, I notice that I just clicked before I knew it. I clicked and I was watching something. What was happening? Wait a minute, let me take a step back here and see. How did I end up here?
Just to give yourself some space in the middle of the model, I think is really important. And that comes with practice of, first, going back and looking at all those intentional models that played out. Before we even knew it we were circumstance all the way down to the result, and we didn't even realize what happened.
But by going back and looking at those, and thinking about them, and asking yourself questions about them, and coaching on them, then you start to get to the point where okay, I can get some space in my model here. Slow down my response.
Sara: Yeah, I see that with especially a lot of people who are new in the program, just talking about it like it just happened. It just happened, I don't know. I don't know what happened, but it just happened. When I talk about processing urges, stop, drop, and breathe. Sometimes we forget how important that stop step is.
Sara: And you're right, it takes practice. It takes practice but it's so important, such an important part of all of it.
Tina: And even if you do find yourself just like all of a sudden I'm just watching, notice all of a sudden I was just watching. Okay, what happened before that? How was that such an automated response? Maybe I can start by going back after the fact and looking at it, you start to break that automated response.
Sara: Yeah. I've heard, Tina, you'll have to tell me if this sounds correct because I think you know more about our brains and nervous system stuff than I probably do.
Tina: Yeah, I don't promise I'll know the answer, but you can ask.
Sara: How I like to describe it is when we have our habits, our neural pathways, they're just really connected, it’s like superhighways. So when we’ve practiced doing something a lot of times, it's just very fast, pew, pew, pew, pew. Because our brains want to be efficient. They don't necessarily care about what's the best thing for you, they just care about what's the most efficient thing for you.
And so specifically with porn use, if we have a lot of practice doing that, it’s just pew, pew, pew, superhighways, just do it really quickly. And so we have to stop, and we have to interrupt those superhighways, and we have to be okay and learn how to take the back roads and to slow it down. And it might not feel as easy, it might not feel as natural at the beginning, but it can get a lot quicker as we practice new ways of thinking and practice new ways of being.
Tina: Yeah. So what I like to think of it as, is like I used to live in Arizona. I don't live there anymore, but I used to live there. There's the Grand Canyon in Arizona, think about how deep that canyon is and how many, I don't even want to estimate how many years water had to run that same direction to create that deep groove in the earth, right? So many years.
Well, our brains are the same way. We can create these deep grooves in our brains with the pathways, the neural pathways that connect and that we follow all the time. So when water runs through that canyon, it just follows the path of least resistance, and our thoughts will do the same. They'll follow the path of least resistance.
So if you want to divert water to go in a different direction, you have start building a dam. And every time you put a rock on a body of water, a little river, it's going to start going a little bit in a different direction. Just maybe a trickle at first. So it might just be a trickle at first with a couple of rocks, but there's less water going the other way.
So every time you listen to this podcast, or you show up for a coaching call, or you do the ask a coach, or you get into the program, and you watch a video, or a worksheet, or you process an urge, every time you do one of those things, it's like putting another rock on the dam. And every time you do, you're having a little more water go in the direction that you want it to go, and a little less water go in the old direction.
So there will be a point where just naturally more water is going to flow in the direction that you want it to go. And so you're going to create a new way for that water to go, a new way for your thoughts to go. But it takes time, and it takes repeated effort over time.
Kat: How do you think that relates to, “I went on my mission, and I didn't look at all. And then I came back and started looking again and then I was back into it.” How do you think those pathways relate to that? Like going a long stretch of time without, is the neural pathway still there and then it's just been closed for construction for a while and then they open it back up and now it's like a superhighway again? You know what I'm saying? How do you think that it relates to that?
Tina: That's a super good question that I don't really know if I know the answer to.
Sara: I typically talk about Pavlov's dogs. And when Pavlov is training his dogs to stop salivating at the sound of the bell, what he has to do is he has to ring the bell and not give them the treat. But if you just took the dogs and put them in a separate room or stuck them on Hawaii for a couple of years and they didn't hear that bell, when they came back years later, when they hear that bell again they're still going to salivate even if it's been years since they have done that.
And so typically with missionary work, right, you're taking yourself away from a lot of the triggers, from a lot of the opportunity for pornography. And so you haven’t gone through the process of experiencing those triggers and feeling the urge and not giving it to yourself. Instead you’ve just kind of escaped it for a little while. So when you come back, it's okay, that makes sense that there's still that response.
Tina: That does make sense. I know also, that when we can do this retraining and we can do this directing in a new direction, that when we get into times of stress or distress, our bodies want to go back to a very base way of taking care of ourselves. And it might revert back to an old thought pattern, an old neural pathway, and that's what our brains want to do.
So being aware of that in times of stress or distress, that that could happen. And that if it doesn't happen, it doesn't mean that the other one isn’t still there, it just means that this is how your body was trying to take care of you.
Sara: Yeah, and that's why coaching is so important, right? We're never going to get rid of all of the stressors. I loved my missionary experience. I loved it, but I didn't learn how to handle emotions. I learned how to work through emotions and how to push them away. Maybe they're better at teaching that now, I don't know. Maybe it's a part of the stuff.
And so when you come home, and you have similar stressors or even more stressors because you're home and then you have the opportunity. Anyways, it makes sense. It makes sense that people fall into it. It's not like oh, no, I was so good and now I'm the worst. I thought I changed. See, this is evidence that I can't change.
It's not evidence you can't change. It's evidence that we didn't go through the process of bringing down the over desire, and there's also more to learn, and it's fine. It's okay.
Tina: Well, and being back in just a normal environment where you're doing different things and focusing on different things, and back where you do have all the resources available to turn back, like Pavlov's dogs. Like the bell is ringing so you have that available to you again.
Sara: Yeah. And you're in similar environments where you did feel urges before and you gave yourself the dopamine from the porn use, and you're in similar situations. And so it actually makes so much sense.
Tina: And your brain remembers that.
Sara: Yes, yeah. Your brain remembers, it remembers where you are when you got that dopamine, it remembers what you were experiencing, what time of day. It remembers all of that, so when you come back into that environment it makes so much sense.
Like I wish this was a message, and I think I talked about this in a couple episodes. But I wish this was a message I could give a lot of YSA kids and bishops, like it makes sense that we go back to porn after a mission sometimes, and that doesn't mean anything's gone wrong. We can change that, and we can fix that. But we don't need to get into this shame place or this, see, look, I'm never going to change place.
I'm obviously very passionate about that.
Kat: Well, and it doesn't even have to just be the mission, right? It could come up at any time. It's like, how did I end up in the pantry? Because like we were talking about with food, like how did I end up here again? Because it's so trained in our brain to just go there. And so I think that that's so true, like even when you're like, I haven't even had an urge or didn't want to look, and then all of a sudden I was looking. Where did this come from?
And I think it is just like you said, when we're in a situation where we've done it before it’s just like our brain will just automatically go there. So being willing to stop, see that stop, right? Like, stop, wait, what is this? What's going on? It’s so important?
Sara: Slow it down, interrupt it a little bit, not be afraid of what's coming up, be willing to see it. I love it, it's also good. It all connects.
Tina: And just stop and get to know yourself better, you know? Get to know this makes sense that my body is doing this or that my brain is thinking this. Or how can I come to know myself better?
In church yesterday we were talking about, in young woman's class we were talking about who am I and what does God want from me? And I was telling these girls, I'm like, I'm a lot older than you, but I'm still trying to figure out who does God want me to become? It's not something that you have to figure out. You just get to know yourself and who you are as you go through your life.
Tina: And it's always an opening up process. I don't think we ever arrive. I think we're always figuring that out.
Sara: Yeah, and pornography, right, your sexuality is a part of you. And so it's okay to stop and notice it. And to get to know it and to get to know the urges, and to allow yourself to become comfortable and intimate with that part of you. It's not going to hurt you, it's not dangerous.
And in fact, the more we push it away and we think it's dangerous, we think it's going to hurt us, that's when we don't stop. That's when we just go, and we don't take the time to do all these things we've talked about. So I love that, thank you.
Okay, awesome. Anything else you guys want to add before we end?
Kat: I just love that, of course, I'm feeling this way. Being willing to give ourselves that like, of course, I'm feeling this way in this situation. Of course, I did go to that thing, of course. Like being that, I don't know, that person of comfort for ourselves.
Of course I'm right here right now because of these choices that I’ve made in the past, or because I've set up the superhighway to make me react in these ways. Of course I'm doing the things that I'm doing. But now that I recognize it, what do I want to do going forward?
Sara: Yeah, love that. Even, of course, I grew up in a world, we were brand new with the internet. I was one of the first people to have the internet growing up, of course, I went to porn, of course. You can find so much evidence and that doesn't mean we're a victim to it anymore. It actually puts us in a place of power. Now what?
Tina: Yeah. And along those same lines, I love the, of course this is where I am. Just the acceptance and the stop the shaming yourself for being where you are because you can't move forward until you let go of that shame. And that acceptance, like it's okay that I'm right here. It makes sense because this, this, and this lined up in my past, or I made these choices.
So I'm right here, but I'm right here and it's okay. And now I can move forward. But we can't move forward until we can accept where we are. That’s super important.
Sara: Yeah, and now that I've accepted, now I can talk to my brain more than listen to it. Now I can learn all these skills.
Tina: Now I can stop and get a little bit of space and I don't have to react to all the things that my brain tells me to do.
Sara: Yeah, now I can start celebrating more and being proud of myself, create some momentum instead of being stuck in this pit of despair. Is that Princess Bride, pit of despair?
Sara: Cool. Okay, thank you so much for coming on today.
Tina: Thanks for having us today, Sara.
Sara: Yeah, I love you two. I'm so excited for those of you who are in the program that get to interact more with Tina and Kat. They are awesome. So all right, have a great week, we'll talk to you next week.
Kat: Thank you, Sara.
Tina: Thank you.
I want to invite you to come and listen to my free training called How to Quit Viewing Pornography Even if You've Tried in the Past. If you like the podcast, you will love this free training. We talk about, number one, how to not rely on willpower or phone filters so that you can actually stop wanting pornography.
Number two, how to guarantee that you won't fail no matter how many times you've tried in the past. And number three, how to feel good about yourself while becoming someone who doesn't struggle with pornography. You can access this training at sarabrewer.com/masterclass.

domain: psychology


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Across the world, Hari found social scientists who were uncovering evidence that depression and anxiety are not caused by a chemical imbalance in our brains. In fact, they are largely caused by key problems with the way we live today. Hari´s journey took him from a mind-blowing series of experiments in Baltimore, to an Amish community in Indiana, to an uprising in Berlin. Once he had uncovered nine real causes of depression and anxiety, they led him to scientists who are discovering seven very different solutions – ones that work.
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MONTGOMERY, AL (WSFA) - Cameras across the city are waiting for motorists to mow through an intersection.
"You actually see your face and you see your tag, and yeah, you definitely get a ticket," said one driver.
Those tickets land drivers with a $50 fine.
But all that could change.
City leaders are considering a plan that would give the green light to a $20 increase, making the penalty for red light runners stand at $70.
"It's not about the money. It's about trying to do something proactively to reduce accidents," explained Mayor Todd Strange.
There's also another reason.
New legislation now requires camera companies to send notices by certified mail, which costs $7.50 more per ticket.
Under the new rates, the company would earn $41 and the City of Montgomery picks up $29.
"If we just added 7 to the original number, then the percentage gets all out of whack, so that's why both sides of the equation were increased," Strange said.
Though finances are tight as it is, residents say the 40% increase may keep reckless drivers on their toes.
"If you don't want to get a ticket, you need to follow the rules of the stop light and don't be in such a rush that you have to go through them," said Karen Johnson of Montgomery.
"Well, I suggest that everyone stop at yellow lights. That's my suggestion, explained Jonathan Cox, also of Montgomery.
Tuesday, the City Council tried to suspend the rules and vote on the increase, but Councilman Willie Cook declined to allow a unanimous vote.
Cook says he'd like to give the public time to address the proposed changes. The measure will come up again on July 21st.

domain: news


Litchfield County robotics team scores eighth in Maine event
THOMASTON >> Operation Give P.E.A.C.C.E. a chance has been in full swing since January when a high school robotics team, made up of a mix of students from Thomaston, Bristol, Torrington and other surrounding towns, learned what game would determine the design of their robot.
The members of P.E.A.C.C.E.—which stands for Practicing Engineering and Competitive Cooperative Excellence—range from students at public high schools to home-schooled students.
The team was formed under the aegis of the 4-H program, most commonly associated with getting kids involved in farming.
“We started out with five kids from Oliver Wolcott Tech and Bristol,” the team’s coach, Stephanie Thibeault, said.
Those two schools weren’t interested in having a robotics team so we hooked up with 4-H. Now people know about us by word of mouth. We started in the Torrington-Winsted area and migrated into this area [Thomaston],” she continued.
David Miller was the other coach for the team and Kevin Yard served as a mentor.
Five of the students were on hand at a local Dunkin’ Donuts—Peregrine Bourne, a senior, Ian Miller, another senior and the team’s head programmer, Piper O’Donnell, a sophomore, K-lyn Newmin, a senior and Rasmei Tep, a junior.
The latter two attend Bristol Central High School, while the former three are home-schooled.
The team was informed in January. Each team was given a basic starter kit for assembling its robot and then the rest of the programming and assembling process was up to their own imagination.
“Every year in the game, teams are put into alliances,” Miller said. “It’s three teams versus three teams for the games. We collect a ball from the other team using the robot and try to score it into a six-foot tall goal. We play the same game in different areas. The finals are from all over the world. Aerial Assist is what the game is called.”
The team went further than it ever had before, placing eighth in the Pine Tree District Regional in Lewiston, Maine. It also took home the Pine Tree District Quality Award for its “innovative and successful” robot.
“It was very exciting and very stressful,” Bourne said. “We were waiting for two days to see if we would advance—there were two spots open. We ended up getting the last [eighth] spot. I spent two days sitting in front of the computer refreshing the webpage.”
Placing eighth allowed the team members to qualify for the New England District Championship in Boston, where they struggled and finished 42nd out of 55 teams.
Thibeault said running the robotics team is like running a small business. Yard joked that the team was accepting donations.
Competition registrations and buying the basic robotics kit cost $5,000. In the end, the project cost around $7,000.
Newmin said the practicing and work is intense. She debated quitting at one point, but her mother persuaded her to stick with it until the competition. She’s been hooked ever since. She joined the team in 2010 in her freshman year and is now a senior.
“We work on this six days a week,” Newmin said. “It kind of never really ends.”
The training may be intense but Yard said being on the robotics team gives the kids an edge when they head off to college and then into the job market. Many of the students on the team want to go into some engineering or science discipline so having the First Robotics Team Operation on their resume jumps out to future employers.
The team is in the off season but there’s still a Connecticut competition in Hartford on May 27. For more information on that, check out www.nefirst.org. To learn more about Operation P.E.A.C.C.E. or about joining in, go to www.operationpeaccerobotics.org.


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Located in the prestigious, gated community of Charolais Estates this custom-built home sits on a gorgeous .48 acre corner- lake lot on the cul-de-sac. This 3421 square foot home was designed with entertaining in mind. This stunning home features an open floor plan with 4 large bedrooms, an office, … More Information
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The median price home price in Viera is $453,252. Right now, there are 36 homes listed for sale in Viera, including 0 condos and 0 foreclosures. You can research home values, browse Viera’s hottest homes, and see what Coldwell Banker’s agents have to say about the local area. Check out our page on Viera market trends to start exploring!
MOVE-IN READY Coronado! 2/2 With a 2 car garage. The study is directly to the left of the foyer, w/ 9’ceilings and a large front window. This plan boasts a large family room w/ large windows overlooking the lanai, perfect for family entertainment. At the heart of the home, a spacious kitchen. Loren Cove is Viera’s newest multi-family home community. Enjoy the convenience of easy access to shopping, restaurants, entertainment, and schools. If location is an important factor in your lifestyle, you’ve come to the right place. Maintenance of home landscaping and exterior painting are included! From the moment you arrive you’ll feel like you’re coming home. Amenities include a furnished clubhouse with kitchen, gathering room, exercise room, playground, tot lot, pavilion and trail
As for the history, this is no old-settlers kind of story. As we said, this is a planned community so it was developed and founded by the Viera Company, which is a subsidiary of the A. Duda and Sons Co. The new community got the ground broken in 1989, as the name Viera derived from the Slovak word “faith”, originally ‘viera’, in honor to Andrew Duda, who was a Slovakian immigrant. However, the place now emerges with a plethora of houses, offices, industrial parks, medical centers, recreational and shopping centers. Various schools, hospitals, children’s center and others own land here as many acres have been donated by the family.
LOCATION! LOCATION!Nestled adjacently across from the 21,000 sq.ft. Clubhouse on an oversized corner lot, is where you will find this one year NEWLY built in 2017 extensively upgraded KENNEDY which shows like a Model Home.Four bedrooms,three full baths.Master bedroom has extra large walk-in closet+large bathroom wonderfully appointed.The gourmet kitchen granite countertops,center island,nook, counter, bar seating and upgraded cabinets are a chef’s delight! All appliances including washer+dryer.Triple slider to rear lanai from open bright and airy family room. Three car garage completes the picture. If you want to live in Heritage Isle in the most popular estate model, this is the home for you.HOA includes landscaping, exterior painting + so much more! See this sensational home today!
Mapping and boundary information is provided by Maponics. Information is deemed reliable but not guaranteed. Sources: Maponics, LLC and Onboard Informatics ©2016. School Performance data by SchoolDigger.com. School Review data by Niche.com. This information is provided for general informational purposes only and should not be relied on in making any home-buying decisions. School information does not guarantee enrollment. Contact a local real estate professional or the school district(s) for current information on schools. This information is not intended for use in determining a person’s eligibility to attend a school or to use or benefit from other city, town or local services.Community information and market data Powered by Onboard Informatics. Copyright ©2016 Onboard Informatics.Home Partners of America and A New Path to Homeownership are registered trademarks of Home Partners of America LLC.
Hud case # 094-527317. What an opportunity! This charming townhouse ,use your imagination type of deal can be the right one for you. Whether you are looking to downsize, be close to the ocean, or just looking for an affordable life style, this one is it. Location wise, it is within minutes from downtown Titusville, Marina, I95, beachline and Orlando. Gated small community where everyone knows everyone. Minimal TLC and this home will be a gem! The property is HUD owned & subject to HUD rules. FHA Eligibility-IN-. Sold As-Is, no post-contract repairs or credits whatsoever; Lien/Code violations may or may not exist; Mold issues may or may not exist. Buyer to independently verify all measurements, condition and HOA info if any. Buyer is responsible for activating utilities for inspection.
The opening of the Viera Health Park, currently proposed by Health First, Inc. is expected to generate 2,000 additional job opportunities for the community. Over 400 acres of community facilities have been set aside for Viera residents. The future holds another 12,000 acres of land development for the growing Viera real estate market.
Lennar is the leading builder of quality new homes in the most desirable real estate markets across the nation. Our home plans demonstrate our commitment to our customers by showcasing outstanding new home construction and a dedication to excellence in homebuilding. Every new home for sale offers the simplicity of included options featured in our model homes and inventory homes. The prices of our homes, included features and available locations are subject to change without notice. Stated dimensions and square footage are approximate and should not be used a representation of the home’s precise or actual size. Please see the actual purchase agreement for additional information, disclosures and disclaimers relating to the home and it’s features.
Great starter or retirement home with BRAND NEW ROOF!! Well maintained concrete block 3 bedroom home with enclosed room and screen porch. Renovated kitchen, ceramic tile flooring throughout, Dining room, living room and family room with large brick fireplace. Carport has storage/laundry room. Back yard privacy fenced and private well/pump and sprinkler system. Convenient location to major highways, shopping, medical and beaches!
MOVE RIGHT INTO this Turnkey, Furnished Spacious 3 bedroom/ 2 bath Maintenance-Free Villa with TWO Screened Lanais Providing Ideal Florida Lifestyle of Indoor/Outdoor Living. This Well-Appointed Home…
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Find your dream home in Melbourne using the tools above. Use filters to narrow your search by price, square feet, beds, and baths to find homes that fit your criteria. Our top-rated real estate agents in Melbourne are local experts and are ready to answer your questions about properties, neighborhoods, schools, and the newest listings for sale in Melbourne.Our Melbourne real estate stats and trends will give you more information about home buying and selling trends in Melbourne. If you’re looking to sell your home in the Melbourne area, our listing agents can help you get the best price. Redfin is redefining real estate and the home buying process in Melbourne with industry-leading technology, full-service agents, and lower fees that provide a better value for Redfin buyers and sellers.
This is a beautiful home with many improvements. It has a huge family room with a nice brick fireplace and an open kitchen with newer cabinets! Originally built as a 3 bedroom 1 bath home, it was later converted into a 4 bedroom home by enclosing the existing carport. The home has an open feel to it, tiled floors throughout, arched doorways with rounded corners, inside laundry room and a jetted bath tub – a nice touch! In the backyard, there’s a large patio, a working shower, shade trees and plenty of room to park a boat or an R/V. Many upgrades were made in 2007 and include double-pane aluminum (no rust) windows, sliding/interior doors, wiring and electrical panel, roof. The A/C was replaced in 2013. Overall, a great place to call home!
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The median price home price in Titusville is $185,000. Right now, there are 548 homes listed for sale in Titusville, including 49 condos and 12 foreclosures. You can research home values, browse Titusville’s hottest homes, and see what Coldwell Banker’s agents have to say about the area. Check out our page on Titusville market trends to start exploring!
favorite this post Feb 27 Newly remodeled 3×2 rustic style house with mexican style throughout e… 3 Beds $325000 3br – 2558ft2 – (West Palm Beach) pic map hide this posting restore restore this posting
Subscribing to your favorite Homes & Land eMagazine has also never been easier! You can now subscribe to the Homes & Land magazine available in your preferred area and be the first to browse the newest issue. From within the magazine, you can also click to contact top real estate agents in the area that will answer your questions about the listings or the local housing market.
Movoto gives you access to the most up-to-the-minute real estate information in Titusville. As a licensed brokerage in Florida (and across the United States), Movoto has access to the latest real estate data including homes for sale, recently bought homes, new listings, market trends, homes with a pool and more in Florida and beyond.
IT was standing room only when more than 550 Ray White sales agents from Victoria and Tasmania packed the Melbourne Convention Centre for today’s Super Sales Day. The mega session – the single biggest gathering of Ray White agents in …
Jaw Dropping Mediterranean Custom Home in Charolais Estates quality crafted by one of the area’s finest home builders. 5 Bedrooms, 4 Baths, 3 Car Garage situated on the BEST Preserve Site. Be amazed upon entering to fine architectural details, spacious layout and luxury amenities~ Inviting formal li… More Information
Move-In Ready Coronado! 2 bedrooms, 2 baths and 2 car garage. The Flex Rm is directly to the left of the foyer, w/ 9’ceilings and large front window. This plan boasts a large family room w/ large windows overlooking the lanai, perfect for family entertainment. At the heart of the home, a spacious kitchen. Loren Cove is Viera’s newest multi-family home community. Enjoy the convenience of easy access to shopping, restaurants, entertainment, and schools. If location is an important factor in your lifestyle, you’ve come to the right place. Maintenance of home landscaping and exterior painting are included! From the moment you arrive you’ll feel like you’re coming home. Amenities include a furnished clubhouse with kitchen, gathering room, exercise room, playground, tot lot, pavilion and trail
Lovely four bedroom, three full bath, plus den pool custom home located in the prestigious gated golf community of Wyndham at Duran. The 3429 square feet custom home showcases breathtaking views of the 12th tee box and water feature of the Duran golf course from the main living areas. The owners, … More Information
Homes for Sale in Dallas, TX have a median listing price of $365,000 and a price per square foot of $196. There are 4,276 active homes for sale in Dallas, Texas, which spend an average of 65 days on the market. Some of the hottest neighborhoods near Dallas, TX are Lake Highlands, Oak Lawn, Mountain Creek, Cedar Crest. You may also be interested in homes for sale in popular zip codes like 75229, 75214, or in neighboring cities, such as Plano, Irving, Richardson, Fort Worth, Garland.
My interests include swimming, snorkeling, exercising, boating & soccer. My husband Spence and I have two adult children. A son who graduated from the Univ. of Central Florida with a degree in Business/Finance and is working at Harris Corp in Palm Bay. My daughter graduated Merritt Island High (MIHS offers the most AP courses in the county) and the Univ. of Florida with a degree in Material Sciences Engineering. I also have 3 beautiful grandchildren. Tours and test scores from the local schools can be provided to transferees. Relocation Packages and maps are FREE!
“The data relating to real estate for sale on this Website come in part from the Broker Reciprocity Program (BR Program)of M.L.S. of Naples, Inc. Properties listed with brokerage firms other than Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate are marked with the BR Program Icon or the BR House Icon and detailed information about them includes the name of the Listing Brokers. The properties displayed may not be all the properties available through the BR Program.”
This Exquisite custom residence is located within the exclusive guard gated golf community of Wyndham at Duran! The perfect balance of modern elegance and tranquility. This grand estate offers 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms and a 3 car garage encompassing 6,207 square feet. This home will embrace formal … More Information

domain: geography


Zeolite and its active substance, clinoptilolite, have various uses in agriculture. ZeoFeed is a product used in livestock production as feed additive. It operates primarily as a technological substance. For example it acts as water regulator, an ammonia binder, an anti-caking agent and it is for the fixation of heavy metals. However, the use of zeolite in agriculture is much broader. Products ZeoSand and ZeoGravel are used as soil conditioners for hydration and retention of soil nutrients. Properties of zeolite are used by fertilizer manufacturers and substrate manufacturers to create green roofs or roof gardens or are used for lawn establishment, fertilization.


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Is BitClout a scam? What is known about the project
Most recently, we talked about the concept of NFT tokens. This is a completely new and truly breakthrough technology, the potential of which you can read in a separate article. However, like any other highly profitable tool, NFT attracts more than just respectable users. Some see NFT as just a way to get dishonest funds by taking advantage of the trust of their own audience. Such fraudulent projects most likely include the BitClout platform. Next, we will tell you why this site is suspected of dishonest work. So let’s get started.
To discuss the activities of the enterprise, first of all, it is necessary to get acquainted with the very concept of the organization. That is why you should first discuss what and how BitClout does. In fact, it is a large shopping complex located on the Web and specializing in interacting with NFT tokens. This platform provides the widest range of services to help you productively use such advanced functionality. In addition, the project has recently started to grow actively.
The developers were inspired by the concept of creating a digital social network built on the use of tokens. However, ordinary users were not happy with the recent actions of the organization. Moreover, the audience of the project accuses the company of stealing $ 170 million. This is a huge, loud statement that needs to be backed up by facts. And, unfortunately for BitClout, prosecutors can provide specifics. Which we will discuss in the next section.
What is BitClout accused of?
In fact, there are no specific precedents yet. Users cannot say that the purchased NFT tokens have not been credited to the account. However, most likely, similar problems will begin in the near future. The fact is that third-party specialists tracked how the project works. After purchasing NFT, your funds are transferred to one large vault. The wallet is built on Bitcoin, obviously for the convenience of subsequent transactions. It is from here that the money is distributed to several sources. Including, and on the forbidden trading platform Hydra. Also, the diagram below shows that a certain part of the funds is deposited into third-party wallets and exchanges.
That is, in simple terms, BitClout is simply laundering funds. Why would an honest project need such complex translations? Why can’t you make a direct transaction from a wallet to a legal address? And how can a serious business partner with Hydra? The question is obviously rhetorical. Some services that assess the security of cryptocurrency transfers call BitClout an ordinary scam. Which will collect more client money, and then disappear along with all the savings.
A similar statement was made by representatives of Coinfirm, which argue that the BitClout methodology is very similar to the infamous Bitconnect platform. Should you end your partnership with BitClout? The question is controversial. Still, there are no victims yet, which means that the accusation should be built with extreme caution. However, we strongly recommend that you be careful with this project. It is highly likely that representatives of the relevant structures will soon begin to expose him.
The main thing in the current circumstances is to follow the news of the cryptoindustry. To receive an up-to-date assessment of events from the world of Blockchain and cryptocurrencies, follow our news feed. We publish only high-quality, interesting material. Thanks for attention. Good luck!

domain: finance


Wheelgun Wednesday: KUGS HD410 – Modern 410 Bore 18-Shot Pepperbox
By Hrachya H
Florian Kohli, the designer of the Swiss KUGS company’s firearms, has an interesting outside-the-box approach to designing firearms and his guns normally have unconventional features and general design. For example, his KUGS Fatboy single-shot rifle that we took a look at earlier, has an extremely simplified design and features like a fully threaded barrel and artillery-style sliding […]
Read More …
The post Wheelgun Wednesday: KUGS HD410 – Modern 410 Bore 18-Shot Pepperbox appeared first on The Firearm Blog.


We’ve derived a “wave equation” from Maxwell’s equations, but it’s not clear what it means, or even why this is called a wave equation. Let’s consider the abstracted form, which both electric and magnetic fields satisfy:
where is the “Laplacian” operator, defined on scalar functions by taking the gradient followed by the divergence, and extended linearly to vector fields. If we have a Cartesian coordinate system — and remember we’re working in good, old so it’s possible to pick just such coordinates, albeit not canonically — we can write
where is the -component of , and a similar equation holds for the and components as well. We can also write out the Laplacian in terms of coordinate derivatives:
Let’s simplify further to just consider functions that depend on and , and which are constant in the and directions:
We can take this big operator and “factor” it:
Any function which either “factor” sends to zero will be a solution of the whole equation. We find solutions like
where and are pretty much any function that’s at least mildly well-behaved.
We call solutions of the first form “right-moving”, for if we view as time and watch as it increases, the “shape” of stays the same; it just moves in the increasing direction. That is, at time we see the same thing at that we saw at — units to the left — at time . Similarly, we call solutions of the second form “left-moving”. In each family, solutions propagate at a rate of , which was the constant from our original equation. Any solution of this simplified, one-dimensional wave equation will be the sum of a right-moving and a left-moving term.
More generally, for the three-dimensional version we have “plane-wave” solutions propagating in any given direction we want. We could do a big, messy calculation, but note that if is any unit vector, we can pick a Cartesian coordinate system where is the unit vector in the direction, in which case we’re back to the right-moving solutions from above. And of course there’s no reason we can’t let be a vector-valued function. Such a solution looks like
The bigger is, the further in the direction the position vector must extend to compensate; the shape stays the same, but moves in the direction of with a velocity of .
It will be helpful to work out some of the basic derivatives of such solutions. Time is easy:
Spatial derivatives are a little trickier. We pick a Cartesian coordinate system to write:
We don’t really want to depend on coordinates, so luckily it’s easy enough to figure out:
which will make our lives much easier to have worked out in advance.


I recently purchased the Artiste ADH300 2.4Ghz wireless headphones. Whether I connect the headphones to the back of my TV with either the Audio R/L or Digital Audio Output I have the same result. When I turn on the headphones whatever I'm watching with the Roku Stick the picture turns pixalated and is unwatchable. If I turn everything off and back on, none of the apps will fulling load (YouTube TV, Netflix, Frndly TV, Discovery Go, etc.). On the Roku Stick audio settings Audio Mode is Stereo and HDMI is PCM-Stereo. I'm wondering since these headphones are 2.4Ghz, they are conflicting with the Roku Stick. I have a pair of Sennheiser headphones that are 900Mhz and have never had this issue using those headphones. I can't believe Roku would have a product that won't work with 2.4Ghz wireless headphones, so I'm sure there's a solution. I have tried working with tech support from Artiste, but they have been no help.


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Secrets to Good Health
IODINE & MAGNESIUM
Minerals are one of the secrets to good health. Most people are mineral deficient, particularly in iodine and magnesium. Supplementing your body with iodine and magnesium is not only inexpensive, but the effects are noticeable!
Only decades ago, iodine was taken internally for many health-related complaints, and was easily found in drugstores. Today, physicians support Big Pharma by prescribing expensive drug formulations for many of the same issues iodine addressed. You do not need a prescription for iodine, but check with a health-care practitioner who knows about iodine (most do not) if you have questions about how to take it.
with fulvic, water base
Why do we need iodine?
Our body cannot produce iodine, but it is critical to healthy metabolism. The thyroid gland is a master regulator and cannot make its hormones without iodine. Found in ocean fish, seaweed and crops grown in mineralized soil, we once got iodine from food, but modern farming has stripped our soil, and elements like bromine, fluorine and chlorine are blocking iodine from our cell receptors.
Magnesium relaxes tissues and expands them.
Applying magnesium on the skin is a great way to supply it to muscles, joints and bones to lessen inflammation and promote nutrient transport and healing.
Do your body a favor! Give it plenty of transdermal magnesium for easy supplementation and quick pain relief. Try it at night for relaxation and sleep!
3-ounce tube $10 8-ounce pump $24
Why do we need magnesium?
Found abundantly in seawater, magnesium facilitates hundreds of our body’s biochemical exchanges and is essential for neurological function. It alkalinizes our blood and is needed by our muscles and bones.
Because today’s lifestyles expose us to chemicals and toxins, many of us have an acidic bloodstream. Our individual cells are yielding their magnesium to the blood to keep the major organs going, and so our cells are becoming acidic themselves. Without enough magnesium, our cells are dying or losing energy.

domain: chemistry


text: Sensory information about the environment is represented throughout the cerebral cortex and is funneled into to the hippocampus, a region critical for the formation of episodic memories. Faced with a continuous stream of data, the hippocampus must strike a balance between forming new, discrete memories (pattern separation) and generalizing information across similar experiences (pattern completion). Computational and experimental studies over the past 50 years have begun to delineate the hippocampal circuits involved in these processes, yet a fundamental question has been largely neglected: How does the hippocampus integrate time-varying information during experience to form episodic memories? Whether exploring a novel environment, scanning a visual scene, or recognizing a familiar tune, the sensations used to construct and recall memories are not experienced simultaneously but rather as a dynamic stream of information or temporal pattern. We study how the hippocampus, and in particular the dentate gyrus, integrates time-varying information during experience to form distinct memories during pattern separation, and how adult neurogenesis influences this process.

domain: biology


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Artists: SPARK! Teen Board, Devon Davis, Lynn Raines, Linda De Los Santos, and Shannon Caston
The 2016-2017 SPARK! Teen Board of Directors envisioned an Indiana Jones type adventure when they redesigned the old cat walk into this installation. Calling on a broad team of collaborators, the teens saw their vision come to life. Visitors now can trek through the jungle, explore ruins, and crawl through tunnels.
Rainforest – Shannon Caston
Suspension Bridge – Devon Davis
Temple Ruins – Lynn Raines
Treasures – Linda De Los Santos


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This article was co-written by Brandon Roberts and David Altstadt on behalf of the Working Poor Families Project.
The Senate has unveiled a bipartisan proposal to cut payroll taxes for employers that create new jobs for out-of-work Americans. While the hiring tax break certainly has merit, the government must take bolder action to curb high unemployment of low-income working families who were already struggling to get by before the Great Recession hit.
America's low-income households are now facing levels of joblessness that are rivaling their heights in the Great Depression of the 1930s, according to a recent report (PDF) by the Center for Labor Market Studies. A staggering 30.8 percent of households with incomes below $12,500 tried but failed to find work during the fourth quarter of last year--more than five points higher than the overall unemployment rate at the peak of the Depression.
Other lower-income households earning below $40,000 are not faring much better. Their joblessness ranged from 12.2 to 19.1 percent, well above the national average of 9.5 percent for the fourth quarter. In stark contrast, wealthy Americans are barely feeling the effects of mounting job losses. Less than 4 percent of households with incomes above $100,000 are unemployed.
In pointing out this jobless dichotomy last week, New York Times columnist Bob Herbert asserted that Americans have to stop talking about the recession as if all of its victims were suffering equally and that all will be helped by some bland, class-and-category-neutral solution. Herbert called for bold, targeted government action to help lower-income households climb out of their deep unemployment hole.
Here are a few ways to get low-income families back to work and out of poverty. We've focused our jobs strategies on the construction industry because the federal government and states each year pour billions of dollars into infrastructure and capital projects, above and beyond current funding through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. The policy proposals are geared specifically to states, which oversee much public spending on construction.
For starters, any reemployment effort must address skill deficiencies because adults heading low-income households often lack the education and work experience to compete for career-track jobs (see our earlier post on the high unemployment rates of adults without a high school education). Particularly troublesome for the construction sector, few low-skilled, disadvantaged adults enter or successfully complete an apprenticeship, which is the tried-and-true approach for obtaining an entry-level job that leads to a highly-skilled, well-paid position as an electrician, mason, or highway maintenance worker, among other trades.
Unfortunately, most states have done little to support skills development programs capable of preparing low-income, low-skilled adults to work as an apprentice. States can provide much-needed resources to start-up or expand "apprenticeship prep" programs, by tapping public money spent on constructing roads, building schools, and private development projects. Missouri, Minnesota, and Wisconsin are among the few states that have taken advantage of a little-known policy by the U.S. Department of Transportation that allows states to use up to one-half of one percent of their federal highway money to fund apprenticeship prep programs. New Jersey has adopted the "half-percent" training policy for state-funded school construction projects. Other states should follow suit.
Next, states should ensure investments in skills development programs actually result in jobs for low-income adult participants. Several states have done this by encouraging--even, requiring--employers on publicly funded construction projects to hire them. Wisconsin offers highway contractors a wage subsidy for hiring graduates of its DOT-funded apprenticeship prep program. Other states have set hiring goals on projects, placing an expectation on employers to provide a certain percentage of work hours for low-income and disadvantaged individuals. Connecticut established a 30 percent goal for a series of redevelopment projects in downtown Hartford. Missouri set a similar hiring goal for highway projects in St. Louis and Kansas City. Both states have come close to achieving their ambitious goals.
However, it is not enough just to expand access to jobs on construction projects. States also must make efforts to improve the quality of jobs. After all, some residential builders, among other segments of the construction sector, have been known to exploit disadvantaged workers, in particular Latino immigrants. To guarantee good jobs on publicly funded construction projects, states should require employers to provide family-sustaining wages, health insurance, and paid sick days, among other benefits. This would build on prevailing wage laws active in 32 states. In addition, states should expect employers to invest in the skills development of their workers, such as offering on-the-job training opportunities and contributing funds to registered apprenticeship and prep programs. Illinois has set requirements for employers to participate in apprenticeship programs and to hire disadvantaged populations (specifically, minorities and women) for a certain percentage of apprentice jobs. Doing so would likely funnel public projects to construction contractors that have a track record for investing in the well-being and career development of their workers.
When adopted together, investments in skills development programs, hiring commitments, and job quality standards would go a long way to putting low-income, low-skilled adults on a path to good-paying construction careers. States can apply these policy prescriptions to other industries that they offer tax breaks and incentives. It is the sort of bold action necessary to immediately curtail high unemployment and depravity and to build a solid foundation for the future prosperity of low-income working families.
If we don't, America faces a grim future in which huge swaths of the population are left behind permanently. And, if Herbert's predictions hold true, the gruesome gaps in the condition of groups at the top and bottom of the economic ladder will lead to societal instability. For the good of the nation, it is time to act.
Brandon Roberts manages the Working Poor Families Project (WPFP), and David Altstadt is the author of the recent WPFP report: "Building Opportunity: How States can Leverage Capital and Infrastructure Investments to Put Working Families on a Path to Good Jobs." The report is available here.