text: This type of response is common whether we are talking about child sexual abuse, rape of an adult or any type of sex crime.  Sex offenses are so violating to the soul and the sense of integrity, that many people go into a state of denial just thinking about it.  The responses: "this was a post-pubertal teenager, not a child, this is a gay issue, not an abuse issue," "She was probably 17 and he thought she was 18 because she seemed mature," "She was asking for it by getting drunk and wearing a mini-skirt," and on and on and on.  The ideas all come down to an inability to internalize the gross horror of these crimes for the victims.  I've worked with victims of child sexual abuse and adult sexual violence and I know that empathy ends up feeling horrible: sleepless nights, nausea, spiritual doubts, gnawing anger.  But the human thing to do is imagine, really internalize, how awful it must be for the victims, instead of psychologically protecting oneself through these denial mechanisms.