text: Something that struck me when I moved to SA 10 years ago was how clear-cut are genders and gender roles in SA (besides race!). I had never felt so woman and so white (and I come from Italy, which is not the best example of gender equality either). I am no expert, nor in the position to make any judgement on SA society as a whole. An observation could be that there is a lack of good male role models, and I have read an interesting theory about ego humiliation. It claims that humiliating situations such as being poor, helpless, and not being able to provide for your family or to have a valuable role in society can negatively affect the masculine ego and psychology, and lead to violence. But it is easy to do armchair sociology. I cannot even start to understand how hard it is for women and children who face this violence on a daily basis.