text: That is definitely disturbing: that he ordered her appetizer without first asking. The fact that she allowed him to do this is also disturbing. This is how abusive men "screen" potential girlfriends. They test the waters with seemingly innocuous acts of control. When they succeed, they escalate, all the while hooking her under their so-called charm. This dynamic has played out a million times over. I would have intercepted: "I don't want that for my appetizer. I'm going to have the stuffed mushrooms." I'd then wait for his response. If this offends him, I just identified an abuser. If he's okay with that, I just identified some nervous poor judgment on his part.