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nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a beautiful day to be stomping on things! As a dinosaur, stomping on things is the best part of my day, indeed! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] *gasp* [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What's that, little house? You wish you were back in your own time? THAT IS TOO BAD FOR YOU [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Perhaps ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a beautiful day to be stomping on things! As a dinosaur, stomping on things is the best part of my day, indeed! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] *gasp* [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What's that, little house? You wish you were back in your own time? THAT IS TOO BAD FOR YOU [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Perhaps ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have felt the harsh sting of my own racial joke turned against me! Luckily, I've been saving a joke for just such an occasion. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] All of those hours of thinking up insults for hypothetical enemies has finally paid off! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So, my racist joke somehow backfi... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have felt the harsh sting of my own racial joke turned against me! Luckily, I've been saving a joke for just such an occasion. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] All of those hours of thinking up insults for hypothetical enemies has finally paid off! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So, my racist joke somehow backfi... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] FOUR YEARS AGO: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think for being remembered! My lovely visage, callipygian frame, startlingly awesome calves and charming smile will yet go down in history! And how will I be immortalized? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I will be immortalized by kicking an e... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] FOUR YEARS AGO: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think for being remembered! My lovely visage, callipygian frame, startlingly awesome calves and charming smile will yet go down in history! And how will I be immortalized? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I will be immortalized by kicking an e... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Descartes was a dude who wrote "Cogito ergo sum" which means "I think, therefore I am". PRETTY NEAT, cats and kittens! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But also...PRETTY FLAWED?? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The whole deal with "I think, therefore I am" is that Descartes is all "DAAAAAAMN, I can't be sure of ANY... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Descartes was a dude who wrote "Cogito ergo sum" which means "I think, therefore I am". PRETTY NEAT, cats and kittens! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But also...PRETTY FLAWED?? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The whole deal with "I think, therefore I am" is that Descartes is all "DAAAAAAMN, I can't be sure of ANY... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I went to the optometrist AGAIN last night, and AGAIN she said I might need to get nerd goggles! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] (She called them "glasses" but you can tell she was thinking "nerd goggles"!) [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The PROBLEM is that I define myself in terms of not having glasses! People a... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I went to the optometrist AGAIN last night, and AGAIN she said I might need to get nerd goggles! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] (She called them "glasses" but you can tell she was thinking "nerd goggles"!) [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The PROBLEM is that I define myself in terms of not having glasses! People a... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here is a list of adjectives I would like to have chosen when describing me! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] 1) "Sated"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Second on the list: "alluring"! followed closely by "stompin'"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Fourth: "Callipygian", pronounced "kal-lip-pee-je-en" - adj: "having beauti... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here is a list of adjectives I would like to have chosen when describing me! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] 1) "Sated"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Second on the list: "alluring"! followed closely by "stompin'"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Fourth: "Callipygian", pronounced "kal-lip-pee-je-en" - adj: "having beauti... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] MEANWHILE, IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE T-REX IS A PROFESSIONAL SINGER: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Rock star! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ROCK STAR [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm a totally cool rock star! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's still awesome, right? It seems that 10 years ago people were more into rock ... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] MEANWHILE, IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE T-REX IS A PROFESSIONAL SINGER: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Rock star! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ROCK STAR [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm a totally cool rock star! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's still awesome, right? It seems that 10 years ago people were more into rock ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AS AN OLD MAN COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Guys, I'm still the same T-Rex I always was! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm even pretty well preserved: check it out, Dromiceiomimus! Barely any wrinkles! [SPEAKER] DOMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] That's nice, T-Rex. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Also I've got my tr... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AS AN OLD MAN COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Guys, I'm still the same T-Rex I always was! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm even pretty well preserved: check it out, Dromiceiomimus! Barely any wrinkles! [SPEAKER] DOMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] That's nice, T-Rex. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Also I've got my tr... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Chekhov's gun is when you have something conspicuously introduced early on in the story, but which doesn't become important until later on! It happens whenever Shakespeare loudly mentions how he loves Pop Tarts, and later he eats a bunch of Pop Tarts! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LITERARY TECHNIQUE ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Chekhov's gun is when you have something conspicuously introduced early on in the story, but which doesn't become important until later on! It happens whenever Shakespeare loudly mentions how he loves Pop Tarts, and later he eats a bunch of Pop Tarts! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LITERARY TECHNIQUE ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am not a dude who loves big companies. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ...Sometimes I like their products? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But I don't feel chummy with Microsoft, or that Sony is going to come over, eat pizza with me, and talk about the women he likes! No. Sony is going to come over, ruffle throu... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am not a dude who loves big companies. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ...Sometimes I like their products? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But I don't feel chummy with Microsoft, or that Sony is going to come over, eat pizza with me, and talk about the women he likes! No. Sony is going to come over, ruffle throu... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] the dinosaur comic players answer: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD THREE WISHES [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Wow, three wishes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Nothing wrong with that! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] I think I would wish that everyone would be happy forever [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But you know h... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] the dinosaur comic players answer: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD THREE WISHES [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Wow, three wishes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Nothing wrong with that! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] I think I would wish that everyone would be happy forever [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But you know h... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] MODERN STENOGRAPHY [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Guys stenography is so awesome! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It is the technology (and art!) of concealing messages from people. With stenography you can pass around SECRET MESSAGES, and nobody except for you and ... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] MODERN STENOGRAPHY [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Guys stenography is so awesome! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It is the technology (and art!) of concealing messages from people. With stenography you can pass around SECRET MESSAGES, and nobody except for you and ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] When I had my first crush on a girl, I believed that everyone else was CRAZY for not liking her. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's true! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] She was so clearly this perfect, amazing woman, and I was honestly so confused by the fact that she wasn't swarmed with suitors, that I tried t... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] When I had my first crush on a girl, I believed that everyone else was CRAZY for not liking her. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's true! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] She was so clearly this perfect, amazing woman, and I was honestly so confused by the fact that she wasn't swarmed with suitors, that I tried t... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] My stars, am I ever enamoured with sign language. You can speak with your hands! That's amazing! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] I LOVE SIGN LANGUAGE TOO [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Well! Then it's settled! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think the coolest thing about ASL, which is the sign language I know, is ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] My stars, am I ever enamoured with sign language. You can speak with your hands! That's amazing! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] I LOVE SIGN LANGUAGE TOO [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Well! Then it's settled! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think the coolest thing about ASL, which is the sign language I know, is ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ASK PROFESSOR SCIENCE [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Still just ask him about science stuff though, okay? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay! Today's letter comes from Pete. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Pete writes, "Dear Professor Science, we never got to hear your answer yesterday. Is the moon slowing down the... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ASK PROFESSOR SCIENCE [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Still just ask him about science stuff though, okay? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay! Today's letter comes from Pete. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Pete writes, "Dear Professor Science, we never got to hear your answer yesterday. Is the moon slowing down the... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] When I was a child I used to imagine I had just teleported into my own body from an earlier time. Or I'd pretend that I'd suddenly lost several years of my memories. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The two are functionally equivalent? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And the game was, by walking around and trying t... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] When I was a child I used to imagine I had just teleported into my own body from an earlier time. Or I'd pretend that I'd suddenly lost several years of my memories. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The two are functionally equivalent? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And the game was, by walking around and trying t... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] RICHARD DAWKINS [LINE] We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die, [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man. What the heck am I gonna eat for dinner? [SPEAKER] RICHARD DAWKINS [LINE] because they are never going to be born. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Maybe... chicken? [SPEAKER] RI... |
real | [SPEAKER] RICHARD DAWKINS [LINE] We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die, [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man. What the heck am I gonna eat for dinner? [SPEAKER] RICHARD DAWKINS [LINE] because they are never going to be born. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Maybe... chicken? [SPEAKER] RI... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] today's adventure: THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Woo-hoo! Let's have an adventure!! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] It is trillions and trillions of years in the future. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] AWESOME! Turn to panel 3! [SPEA... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] today's adventure: THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Woo-hoo! Let's have an adventure!! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] It is trillions and trillions of years in the future. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] AWESOME! Turn to panel 3! [SPEA... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have writen my own "Choose your own adventure" story! It is less depressing than the other one. I can it "HOW THE UNIVERSE ENDS, a story starring YOU! But it was written by me, T-Rex". [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HOW THE UNIVERSE ENDS. HOW T... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have writen my own "Choose your own adventure" story! It is less depressing than the other one. I can it "HOW THE UNIVERSE ENDS, a story starring YOU! But it was written by me, T-Rex". [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HOW THE UNIVERSE ENDS. HOW T... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] SOME people are used to counting in base 10, where they've got 10 digits (0 through 9). In this system, the number 24 means twenty-four things! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But this is not the only way. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] 24 in base 10 ACTUALLY means "two tens and four ones", which adds up to twent... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] SOME people are used to counting in base 10, where they've got 10 digits (0 through 9). In this system, the number 24 means twenty-four things! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But this is not the only way. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] 24 in base 10 ACTUALLY means "two tens and four ones", which adds up to twent... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This is crazy. I shouldn't be this bothered by something so small. We're adults! Dromiceiomimus doesn't have to bring me back anything! She never did in the past. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Why is this bothering me so much? [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LATER. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, I wan... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This is crazy. I shouldn't be this bothered by something so small. We're adults! Dromiceiomimus doesn't have to bring me back anything! She never did in the past. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Why is this bothering me so much? [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LATER. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, I wan... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Could it be? Could it be true that the Dromiceiomimus has a crush on me? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] One way to find out! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh, hey, D.! I was just stomping around here, you know, "stomping the old houses!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Um [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What are you up to? [SPEA... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Could it be? Could it be true that the Dromiceiomimus has a crush on me? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] One way to find out! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh, hey, D.! I was just stomping around here, you know, "stomping the old houses!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Um [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What are you up to? [SPEA... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] If we all disappeared tomorrow, what would the world be like? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Short answer: PRETTY AWESOME! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Awesome in the "oh MAN do I love disaster movies where everybody dies" sort of way. You can pretty much imagine it yourself! Within a few hours or days, the ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] If we all disappeared tomorrow, what would the world be like? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Short answer: PRETTY AWESOME! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Awesome in the "oh MAN do I love disaster movies where everybody dies" sort of way. You can pretty much imagine it yourself! Within a few hours or days, the ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's always struck me as weird that genres developed when they did. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Why weren't people rapping until ony a few decades ago? Did people in olden times just not like to hip to the hop, and then not stop? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Was rapping to the beat and trying to get you to ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's always struck me as weird that genres developed when they did. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Why weren't people rapping until ony a few decades ago? Did people in olden times just not like to hip to the hop, and then not stop? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Was rapping to the beat and trying to get you to ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think it is time YET AGAIN to have a manliness competition! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] For reals this time! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm so manly that whenever I sneeze I accidentally rip open my shirt, because all my muscles flex at once! Sometimes I rip open my SKIN. [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE]... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think it is time YET AGAIN to have a manliness competition! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] For reals this time! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm so manly that whenever I sneeze I accidentally rip open my shirt, because all my muscles flex at once! Sometimes I rip open my SKIN. [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE]... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX (THOUGHT BUBBLE) [LINE] Okay, so it turns out that you're a guy with a sucky turn-on. This is bad, T-Rex. You need to fix this. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I need to fix this. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND HIS SUCKY FETISH [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But I've always maintained that you can't just decide t... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX (THOUGHT BUBBLE) [LINE] Okay, so it turns out that you're a guy with a sucky turn-on. This is bad, T-Rex. You need to fix this. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I need to fix this. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND HIS SUCKY FETISH [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But I've always maintained that you can't just decide t... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "On The Menu, by T-Rex.". Ahem. "As Amelia and Antonio Tony who are the two members of the wait staff in this story took off their clothes, they realized that sexual intercourse was probably 'On The Menu' tonight!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "'Excellent!' they said, in unison!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE]... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "On The Menu, by T-Rex.". Ahem. "As Amelia and Antonio Tony who are the two members of the wait staff in this story took off their clothes, they realized that sexual intercourse was probably 'On The Menu' tonight!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "'Excellent!' they said, in unison!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE]... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Wow, people really enjoyed my book of Sex Scenes for People with Problems! Everybody likes me and I am richer now. And they'll like me even more when they read my new book... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ...of CORPORATE SPONSORED erotica! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's sexy AND delivers brand messages to ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Wow, people really enjoyed my book of Sex Scenes for People with Problems! Everybody likes me and I am richer now. And they'll like me even more when they read my new book... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ...of CORPORATE SPONSORED erotica! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's sexy AND delivers brand messages to ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know who's never been drunk? NOT EVER? NOT EVEN ONCE?? [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] IS IT YOU [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's me, dude! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] WOW THAT'S SO FASCINATING [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It is! It's on account of how I've got so much body mass that it takes a lot to get me TOTALLY W... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know who's never been drunk? NOT EVER? NOT EVEN ONCE?? [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] IS IT YOU [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's me, dude! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] WOW THAT'S SO FASCINATING [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It is! It's on account of how I've got so much body mass that it takes a lot to get me TOTALLY W... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have a problem! The problem is that when I'm chatting online with someone, I - I sometimes steal their writing styles? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's like I have no chatting identity of my own! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] If they're not using capital letters, I'll stop using them too, because I don't w... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have a problem! The problem is that when I'm chatting online with someone, I - I sometimes steal their writing styles? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's like I have no chatting identity of my own! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] If they're not using capital letters, I'll stop using them too, because I don't w... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have a great idea! A way to add DRAMA to our everyday lives. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Let's all promise to meet in a pub somewhere in 10 years! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It'll be rad, Dromiceiomimus! It'll be an element of predictability in an otherwise chaotic universe. It'll let us know that no... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have a great idea! A way to add DRAMA to our everyday lives. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Let's all promise to meet in a pub somewhere in 10 years! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It'll be rad, Dromiceiomimus! It'll be an element of predictability in an otherwise chaotic universe. It'll let us know that no... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LITERARY TECHNIQUE COMICS [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] today's technique: AUTHOR INSERTION [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This is when the author puts himself in his story! It happens whenever Hamlet is heard to remark "Forsooth!! That Shakespeare chap is excellent!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ("Forsooth" is... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LITERARY TECHNIQUE COMICS [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] today's technique: AUTHOR INSERTION [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This is when the author puts himself in his story! It happens whenever Hamlet is heard to remark "Forsooth!! That Shakespeare chap is excellent!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ("Forsooth" is... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have the best idea for a Batman comic. It's a Batman comic about a Batman who exists in our world, the real world. But he doesn't know he's Batman yet. And his name is Bruce Swain! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Get it, Dromiceiomimus? It's clever because it sounds like "Bruce Wayne" but nobody would r... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have the best idea for a Batman comic. It's a Batman comic about a Batman who exists in our world, the real world. But he doesn't know he's Batman yet. And his name is Bruce Swain! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Get it, Dromiceiomimus? It's clever because it sounds like "Bruce Wayne" but nobody would r... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] COMPRESSED CLASSIC SCIENCE FICTION SHORT STORIES today's story: THE LAST QUESTION BY ISAAC ASIMOV [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay in this story I'm a computer called Multivac! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, ask me if there will ever be a way to stop the sun from running down. Ask me if th... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] COMPRESSED CLASSIC SCIENCE FICTION SHORT STORIES today's story: THE LAST QUESTION BY ISAAC ASIMOV [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay in this story I'm a computer called Multivac! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, ask me if there will ever be a way to stop the sun from running down. Ask me if th... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Island gigantism is a pretty okay form of evolution. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's okay. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ISLAND GIGANTISM COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So what happens here is you've got a population that's so isolated on an island, but you have plenty of food and no predators! So smaller... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Island gigantism is a pretty okay form of evolution. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's okay. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ISLAND GIGANTISM COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So what happens here is you've got a population that's so isolated on an island, but you have plenty of food and no predators! So smaller... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ETHICS AND MORALS [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] hey adults! put me in your wallet! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ethics and morals are not the same thing! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I know! It's CRAZY. But ethics are something that you learn and study and are applied in society, while ... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ETHICS AND MORALS [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] hey adults! put me in your wallet! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ethics and morals are not the same thing! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I know! It's CRAZY. But ethics are something that you learn and study and are applied in society, while ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay, okay, so we can modify our personality, right? We're not the same people we were when we were six years old, and part of that has to be controlled by us. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] We make New Year's Resolutions for a reason! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So we've got a self-modifying system: we exami... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay, okay, so we can modify our personality, right? We're not the same people we were when we were six years old, and part of that has to be controlled by us. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] We make New Year's Resolutions for a reason! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So we've got a self-modifying system: we exami... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] SLANG FOR TEENS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Teens! Are you interested in slang? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here is some handy slang for you, teens! "Bad" means "good". For example, "that rock concert was BAD!" Further, "bogus" means "bad", but these aren't transitive. Something that's bogus isn't good.... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] SLANG FOR TEENS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Teens! Are you interested in slang? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here is some handy slang for you, teens! "Bad" means "good". For example, "that rock concert was BAD!" Further, "bogus" means "bad", but these aren't transitive. Something that's bogus isn't good.... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] TEXT [LINE] A MYSTERY STORY [SPEAKER] TEXT [LINE] Once upon a time there was guy who "knocked over" (broke into) a bank and stole some money. Who did it? It was a mystery. Nobody knew the answer. They all asked each other who "knocked over" the bank but nobody knew for sure. [SPEAKER] TEXT [LINE] It was t... |
real | [SPEAKER] TEXT [LINE] A MYSTERY STORY [SPEAKER] TEXT [LINE] Once upon a time there was guy who "knocked over" (broke into) a bank and stole some money. Who did it? It was a mystery. Nobody knew the answer. They all asked each other who "knocked over" the bank but nobody knew for sure. [SPEAKER] TEXT [LINE] It was t... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ELECTION COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh my goodness do I ever love ELECTIONS. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You can't spell "selection" without "election"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Not - not that really has any bearing on "selection" or "election". I'm pretty sure they have different etymologies. In ... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ELECTION COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh my goodness do I ever love ELECTIONS. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You can't spell "selection" without "election"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Not - not that really has any bearing on "selection" or "election". I'm pretty sure they have different etymologies. In ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In verificationism, a sentence has to be verifiably true (or false!) for it to be meaningful. Not bad, guys! I think this is one philosophy that is verifiably REASONABLE. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So that's it for arguing about religion! Can't verify faith! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In fact, that's ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In verificationism, a sentence has to be verifiably true (or false!) for it to be meaningful. Not bad, guys! I think this is one philosophy that is verifiably REASONABLE. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So that's it for arguing about religion! Can't verify faith! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In fact, that's ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have gone too far "down the rabbit hole" and am reduced to being sure only of my own thoughts, and even then some other chump could be projecting them into my head. To that I say: "whatEVER!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] People do fine with approximations! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So what if truth is a... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have gone too far "down the rabbit hole" and am reduced to being sure only of my own thoughts, and even then some other chump could be projecting them into my head. To that I say: "whatEVER!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] People do fine with approximations! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So what if truth is a... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What if... what if I had the BEST HOUSE EVER this Hallowe'en? [SPEAKER] GUYS [LINE] T-Rex! This house is SPOOK-TACULAR! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Guys, I totally know!! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I must make this dream come true! But HOW? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] What if you made your house spi... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What if... what if I had the BEST HOUSE EVER this Hallowe'en? [SPEAKER] GUYS [LINE] T-Rex! This house is SPOOK-TACULAR! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Guys, I totally know!! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I must make this dream come true! But HOW? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] What if you made your house spi... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] JANUARY: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ah, the start of a brand new year. There's so much potential! What could possibly go wrong? [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] FEBRUARY: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Stood up on Valentine's day? [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] MARCH: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Stood up on ST. PATRICK'... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] JANUARY: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ah, the start of a brand new year. There's so much potential! What could possibly go wrong? [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] FEBRUARY: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Stood up on Valentine's day? [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] MARCH: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Stood up on ST. PATRICK'... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know how in stories, whenever a character has the chance, he always decides that it's too dangerous to know too much about his own future? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Um, I would like to know too much, please! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Knowing who I marry, knowing where I end up living - all of these... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know how in stories, whenever a character has the chance, he always decides that it's too dangerous to know too much about his own future? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Um, I would like to know too much, please! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Knowing who I marry, knowing where I end up living - all of these... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THINGS TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE HAS BROKEN UP WITH YOU [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sometimes, someone will break up with you. Aw snaps! What do you say to THAT? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here are some things you can say to that! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "It's okay, sweetie! I'm sure one day you'll find someo... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THINGS TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE HAS BROKEN UP WITH YOU [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sometimes, someone will break up with you. Aw snaps! What do you say to THAT? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here are some things you can say to that! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "It's okay, sweetie! I'm sure one day you'll find someo... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] God, guess what I'M going to do today! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] UM PLANT MORE FAKE GRAVES [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Indeed!! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Fake graves...for EVERYONE! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] One of them will be a dude with the remains of a time machine, and I'm gonna put him down at the Permian-... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] God, guess what I'M going to do today! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] UM PLANT MORE FAKE GRAVES [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Indeed!! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Fake graves...for EVERYONE! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] One of them will be a dude with the remains of a time machine, and I'm gonna put him down at the Permian-... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think for pointing out the failures of others! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I will consider it as a public service! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] To begin: your house is too small and your car is slightly out of scale! And you! Your colouring is improbable! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You, ti... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think for pointing out the failures of others! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I will consider it as a public service! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] To begin: your house is too small and your car is slightly out of scale! And you! Your colouring is improbable! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You, ti... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LATE LAST NIGHT: [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] T-REX HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF HOMOGRAPHIC HOMOPHONIC AUTANTONYMS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have not! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] OKAY SO HERE'S WHAT THEY'RE LIKE [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THIS MORNING: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sorry, other word classes! I have a NEW... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LATE LAST NIGHT: [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] T-REX HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF HOMOGRAPHIC HOMOPHONIC AUTANTONYMS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have not! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] OKAY SO HERE'S WHAT THEY'RE LIKE [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THIS MORNING: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sorry, other word classes! I have a NEW... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So this homeless guy asked me for change yesterday. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The first thing I thought was, "Sure!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But then I thought, well, wait, if I really want to fight homelessness, wouldn't this money be better spent on community programs that fight it, both through he... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So this homeless guy asked me for change yesterday. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The first thing I thought was, "Sure!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But then I thought, well, wait, if I really want to fight homelessness, wouldn't this money be better spent on community programs that fight it, both through he... |
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