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nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Time for me to learn some new languages! AS THE OLD SAYING GOES, he who can speak many languages is suspected by his peers to be an ultra super genius times two. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Perhaps I will learn... SIGH LANGUAGE? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Oh, you should, T-Rex! Then we could talk... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Time for me to learn some new languages! AS THE OLD SAYING GOES, he who can speak many languages is suspected by his peers to be an ultra super genius times two. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Perhaps I will learn... SIGH LANGUAGE? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Oh, you should, T-Rex! Then we could talk... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am a dude who came across a suitcase full of old love letters I got in high school. Sweet! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's right, ladies! I'VE got a HISTORY! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'd completely forgotten about these letters, and it was really cool to re-read them now with older, less hormonally... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am a dude who came across a suitcase full of old love letters I got in high school. Sweet! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's right, ladies! I'VE got a HISTORY! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'd completely forgotten about these letters, and it was really cool to re-read them now with older, less hormonally... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] They make truth serum, but how come they don't make lie serum? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I could take some, go out, and CAUSE PROBLEMS! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You could even overdose on lie serum and never tell the truth again, UNTIL you got an injection of truth serum to cancel it out. [SPEAKER] DR... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] They make truth serum, but how come they don't make lie serum? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I could take some, go out, and CAUSE PROBLEMS! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You could even overdose on lie serum and never tell the truth again, UNTIL you got an injection of truth serum to cancel it out. [SPEAKER] DR... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here is a terrible idea for a date: you take the lady to a stinky old sewage processing plant and then tour the facilities! You could be all, "Sorry, potential lifemate! I'm a dude who makes bad date decisions." [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND FRIENDS IN: "DATES" [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LIN... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here is a terrible idea for a date: you take the lady to a stinky old sewage processing plant and then tour the facilities! You could be all, "Sorry, potential lifemate! I'm a dude who makes bad date decisions." [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND FRIENDS IN: "DATES" [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LIN... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] T-REX LET'S TALK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT ALL VIDEOGAMES ARE ACTUALLY JUST MURDER SIMULATORS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's Controversy Monday! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Controversy Monday is the day when you needlessly volunteer made up opinions on abortion! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] YEAH I KNOW BUT DUDE WE'RE T... |
real | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] T-REX LET'S TALK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT ALL VIDEOGAMES ARE ACTUALLY JUST MURDER SIMULATORS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's Controversy Monday! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Controversy Monday is the day when you needlessly volunteer made up opinions on abortion! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] YEAH I KNOW BUT DUDE WE'RE T... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here are some professions whose female members I could never marry because I"#8217;d be such an uncontrollably bad husband to them! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] First: dentists! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I respect what they do but I"#8217;m sorry lady oral hygiene professionals, I can"#8217;t brush and fl... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here are some professions whose female members I could never marry because I"#8217;d be such an uncontrollably bad husband to them! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] First: dentists! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I respect what they do but I"#8217;m sorry lady oral hygiene professionals, I can"#8217;t brush and fl... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] INSPIRATION FOR DUDES [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dudes! Are you in need of inspiration? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Then dudes, come on!! It's time to get inspired! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] INSPIRATION 1: SUNSETS? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sunsets can be inspiring in you are a sensitive dude, or a super ... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] INSPIRATION FOR DUDES [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dudes! Are you in need of inspiration? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Then dudes, come on!! It's time to get inspired! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] INSPIRATION 1: SUNSETS? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sunsets can be inspiring in you are a sensitive dude, or a super ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HOW TO PASS THE TURING TEST [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] a helpful comic for machine intelligences that "just have trouble in test situations" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The Turing test is a test that all emergent intelligences face at one point or another! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In it, you have a RE... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HOW TO PASS THE TURING TEST [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] a helpful comic for machine intelligences that "just have trouble in test situations" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The Turing test is a test that all emergent intelligences face at one point or another! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In it, you have a RE... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh man, am I ever sick. Me! I never get sick but this time I've gotten sick. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] My mighty body lies in shambles! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh, Dromiceiomimus, you've got to save me! Failing that, tell them my story. Regale future generations with stories of Mighty T-Rex, felled b... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh man, am I ever sick. Me! I never get sick but this time I've gotten sick. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] My mighty body lies in shambles! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh, Dromiceiomimus, you've got to save me! Failing that, tell them my story. Regale future generations with stories of Mighty T-Rex, felled b... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay okay - time to solve ALL the problems. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] PROBLEM 1: NOT ENOUGH SALT [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Buy more salt! It's free from the ocean? [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] PROBLEM 2: TRAPPED IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE; THERE IS A CHILD INVOLVED [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Um. I don't know h... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay okay - time to solve ALL the problems. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] PROBLEM 1: NOT ENOUGH SALT [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Buy more salt! It's free from the ocean? [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] PROBLEM 2: TRAPPED IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE; THERE IS A CHILD INVOLVED [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Um. I don't know h... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] COMICS FOR ASEXUAL CHICKS AND DUDES! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I suggest telling them that you're asexual! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] PROBLEM: SOLVED. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The end! [SPEAKER] UTAHRAPTOR [LINE] That uh, that might not be the most helpful advice T-Rex! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Explain! ... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] COMICS FOR ASEXUAL CHICKS AND DUDES! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I suggest telling them that you're asexual! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] PROBLEM: SOLVED. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The end! [SPEAKER] UTAHRAPTOR [LINE] That uh, that might not be the most helpful advice T-Rex! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Explain! ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What a lovely day for a walk! I enjoy crisp fall air AND the changing colour of the leaves. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ladies and gentlemen: I am down with fall! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] I'M DOWN WITH FALL TOO T-REX [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay! Because if you're down with fall then you're down with me. [... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What a lovely day for a walk! I enjoy crisp fall air AND the changing colour of the leaves. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ladies and gentlemen: I am down with fall! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] I'M DOWN WITH FALL TOO T-REX [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay! Because if you're down with fall then you're down with me. [... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have come up with the ULTIMATE COMEBACK to be used on musicians! All I have to do is wait for one to put me down, and then I can be all: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "Oh yeah? Well here in the REAL world, WE don't get to rest for 32 bars!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hee hee! It's funny, Dromiceiomimus, b... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have come up with the ULTIMATE COMEBACK to be used on musicians! All I have to do is wait for one to put me down, and then I can be all: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "Oh yeah? Well here in the REAL world, WE don't get to rest for 32 bars!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hee hee! It's funny, Dromiceiomimus, b... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Who here would like to hear an old joke about oatmeal? [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] DAAAMN [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] I WOULD [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Then here we go! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay okay, so there's this monastery, with three monks, and only one monk is allowed to speak, once, each year. They take... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Who here would like to hear an old joke about oatmeal? [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] DAAAMN [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] I WOULD [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Then here we go! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay okay, so there's this monastery, with three monks, and only one monk is allowed to speak, once, each year. They take... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX HAS SNUCK INTO UTAHRAPTOR'S HOUSE AND SWITCHED THE HOT AND COLD PIPES LEADING TO HIS BATHROOM SINK. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Tee hee! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LET'S WATCH! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Isn't that kind of an expensive, elaborate prank, T-Rex? The worst that'll happen is ... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX HAS SNUCK INTO UTAHRAPTOR'S HOUSE AND SWITCHED THE HOT AND COLD PIPES LEADING TO HIS BATHROOM SINK. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Tee hee! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LET'S WATCH! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Isn't that kind of an expensive, elaborate prank, T-Rex? The worst that'll happen is ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am on the lookout for a new friend. A new, more ultimate friend: the best friend ever. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am on the lookout for science, personified! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It will be so awesome, Dromiceiomimus! Can you imagine being friends with Science Personified? You'd never have y... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am on the lookout for a new friend. A new, more ultimate friend: the best friend ever. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am on the lookout for science, personified! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It will be so awesome, Dromiceiomimus! Can you imagine being friends with Science Personified? You'd never have y... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] A negative income tax, or "NIT", is when the government pays you money when your income is low! Pretty sweet! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] NEGATIVE INCOME TAX COMICS [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] it will be interesting I PROMISE [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But there is a catch. You still pay taxes - say, a f... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] A negative income tax, or "NIT", is when the government pays you money when your income is low! Pretty sweet! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] NEGATIVE INCOME TAX COMICS [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] it will be interesting I PROMISE [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But there is a catch. You still pay taxes - say, a f... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] HEY T-REX HAVE YOU FALLEN IN LOVE YET AND IF NOT [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] WHY NOT [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dude! I've been busy! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] COME ON EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE IS TOTALLY MARRIED [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man, whatever! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] First it was romance movies telling me that I... |
real | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] HEY T-REX HAVE YOU FALLEN IN LOVE YET AND IF NOT [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] WHY NOT [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dude! I've been busy! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] COME ON EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE IS TOTALLY MARRIED [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man, whatever! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] First it was romance movies telling me that I... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sometimes when you're in an accident or about to be hurt, time seems to slow down! This gives you more of a chance to react to ensure your survival! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This is AWESOME. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Assuming that time isn't ACTUALLY changing, this means that my brain has the incredib... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sometimes when you're in an accident or about to be hurt, time seems to slow down! This gives you more of a chance to react to ensure your survival! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This is AWESOME. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Assuming that time isn't ACTUALLY changing, this means that my brain has the incredib... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] God, do you think I'm a good enough dude to write an opera? [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] UM [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man! Even God thinks I can't write an opera! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Why would you want to write an opera, T-Rex? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] WELL, the consensus seems to be that opera is... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] God, do you think I'm a good enough dude to write an opera? [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] UM [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man! Even God thinks I can't write an opera! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Why would you want to write an opera, T-Rex? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] WELL, the consensus seems to be that opera is... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] If I could give up any sense, what would it be? It's not going to be hearing or talking, because I do those ALL THE TIME. [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] ALSO "TALKING" ISN'T A SENSE [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Whatevs! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And I don't want to give up touch, because then I'd be bumping my body... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] If I could give up any sense, what would it be? It's not going to be hearing or talking, because I do those ALL THE TIME. [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] ALSO "TALKING" ISN'T A SENSE [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Whatevs! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And I don't want to give up touch, because then I'd be bumping my body... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What have I done with my life? For serious! I am getting older and if things keep up this way I will die an unremarkable dude. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] My epitaph will be "HERE LIES AND UNREMARKABLE DUDE :( BUT HEY I GET THERE'S SOMEONE RAD TO THE LEFT ;D"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Actually, that's a... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What have I done with my life? For serious! I am getting older and if things keep up this way I will die an unremarkable dude. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] My epitaph will be "HERE LIES AND UNREMARKABLE DUDE :( BUT HEY I GET THERE'S SOMEONE RAD TO THE LEFT ;D"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Actually, that's a... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am a dude with some SERIOUSLY UNINFORMED opinions about archaeology! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay! We're digging up stuff all the time, right? And talk to any archaeologist and they'll complain about sites that have been damaged or destroyed by under-informed Victorian archaeologists that didn't... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am a dude with some SERIOUSLY UNINFORMED opinions about archaeology! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay! We're digging up stuff all the time, right? And talk to any archaeologist and they'll complain about sites that have been damaged or destroyed by under-informed Victorian archaeologists that didn't... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] INFORMED OPINIONS ABOUT ARCHAEOLOGY COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Yes! I have actually done some research this time. Schwing! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And it turns out I was TOTALLY CORRECT! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Archaeologists ARE aware that they're mining a finite resource, and when possible,... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] INFORMED OPINIONS ABOUT ARCHAEOLOGY COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Yes! I have actually done some research this time. Schwing! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And it turns out I was TOTALLY CORRECT! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Archaeologists ARE aware that they're mining a finite resource, and when possible,... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] WE HAVE A HISTORY [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] a web card [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dear recipient of this comic: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You and whoever went this card to you totally have a history together! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's pretty intriguing, isn't it? What sort of history? Did you use... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] WE HAVE A HISTORY [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] a web card [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dear recipient of this comic: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You and whoever went this card to you totally have a history together! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's pretty intriguing, isn't it? What sort of history? Did you use... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Someone going by the all-caps name "ZACH MORRIS" has tagged my house! My front door is now spraypainted with "Zach" 's stupid name for jerks. I don't even like Saved by the Bell that much! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Forget you, Zach Morris! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] I thought you always liked s... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Someone going by the all-caps name "ZACH MORRIS" has tagged my house! My front door is now spraypainted with "Zach" 's stupid name for jerks. I don't even like Saved by the Bell that much! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Forget you, Zach Morris! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] I thought you always liked s... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Someone going by the all-caps name "ZACH MORRIS" has tagged my house! My front door is now spraypainted with "Zach" 's stupid name for jerks. I don't even like Saved by the Bell that much! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Forget you, Zach Morris! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] I thought you always liked s... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Someone going by the all-caps name "ZACH MORRIS" has tagged my house! My front door is now spraypainted with "Zach" 's stupid name for jerks. I don't even like Saved by the Bell that much! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Forget you, Zach Morris! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] I thought you always liked s... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] A new year is coming up. That means it is time to take stock of my life and make resolutions for improvements in the year to come! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] THERE IS NO CHOICE IN THIS MATTER [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] RESOLUTION ONE: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] eat less chickens! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I mean,... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] A new year is coming up. That means it is time to take stock of my life and make resolutions for improvements in the year to come! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] THERE IS NO CHOICE IN THIS MATTER [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] RESOLUTION ONE: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] eat less chickens! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I mean,... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So, Dromiceiomimus: Do you know how to draw superheroes? I've got such a great idea for a comic. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] (IN THIS PANEL, DROMICEIOMIMUS SAYS YES) [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sweet! Okay, so the idea is, there's this guy, Lee, right? One day he gains SUPER POWERS. And I'm not sure how... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So, Dromiceiomimus: Do you know how to draw superheroes? I've got such a great idea for a comic. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] (IN THIS PANEL, DROMICEIOMIMUS SAYS YES) [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sweet! Okay, so the idea is, there's this guy, Lee, right? One day he gains SUPER POWERS. And I'm not sure how... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is the day. Yes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is the day I lose my fear of ZOMBIES. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND THE LIVING DEAD [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The way I see it, zombies are either avoidable or too effective. The only way to become a zombie is to be bitten by one, but not to ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is the day. Yes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is the day I lose my fear of ZOMBIES. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND THE LIVING DEAD [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The way I see it, zombies are either avoidable or too effective. The only way to become a zombie is to be bitten by one, but not to ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HILARIOUS MISUNDERSTANDINGS COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh oh... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sounds like I'm in for some hilarious misunderstandings! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hi, Dromiceiomimus... sun's sure hot today, eh? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Did you just say that my SON is hot today? [... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HILARIOUS MISUNDERSTANDINGS COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh oh... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sounds like I'm in for some hilarious misunderstandings! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hi, Dromiceiomimus... sun's sure hot today, eh? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Did you just say that my SON is hot today? [... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Critical mass rides are when a hundred or more cyclists get together and go on a bike ride! They take over a lane of traffic and get to set their pace. The motto and politics are "we don't block traffic, we are traffic!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's good times, if you're not in a car! [SPEAKER] T-... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Critical mass rides are when a hundred or more cyclists get together and go on a bike ride! They take over a lane of traffic and get to set their pace. The motto and politics are "we don't block traffic, we are traffic!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's good times, if you're not in a car! [SPEAKER] T-... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I really don't like doing the dishes. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That is why I will ask the Utahraptor to do them for me! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh man, it's going to be so sweet when he says "yes"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'll be able to cook all sorts of fancy foods now that I'm freed of that soul-c... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I really don't like doing the dishes. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That is why I will ask the Utahraptor to do them for me! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh man, it's going to be so sweet when he says "yes"! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'll be able to cook all sorts of fancy foods now that I'm freed of that soul-c... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND UTAHRAPTOR ARE GOING TO CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sure are! How hard could it be? It's just like climbing stairs, only longer! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And if I stay too long at the top of the stairs, I'll die! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Are you guys serious abou... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND UTAHRAPTOR ARE GOING TO CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sure are! How hard could it be? It's just like climbing stairs, only longer! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And if I stay too long at the top of the stairs, I'll die! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Are you guys serious abou... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] A new lunar year, and guess who's still not married? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] THE ANSWER IS ME [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] *the end* [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] *POSTSCRIPT* [SPEAKER] UTAHRAPTOR [LINE] T-Rex, you sure have been saying "damn" a lot lately! [SPEAK... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] A new lunar year, and guess who's still not married? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] THE ANSWER IS ME [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] *the end* [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] *POSTSCRIPT* [SPEAKER] UTAHRAPTOR [LINE] T-Rex, you sure have been saying "damn" a lot lately! [SPEAK... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I guess I've been pretty lucky to get this far without making any big, life-altering mistakes. I think the biggest mistake I ever made was mixing up some juice from concentrate that had a ladybug in it! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] MISTAKE COMICS [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Eww! How did that eve... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I guess I've been pretty lucky to get this far without making any big, life-altering mistakes. I think the biggest mistake I ever made was mixing up some juice from concentrate that had a ladybug in it! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] MISTAKE COMICS [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Eww! How did that eve... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] T-REX TODAY IS THE DAY FOR TOTAL EMOTIONAL HONESTY [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Nopers!! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] TODAY is the day of continuing to leave certain emotions unstated AND/OR ignored! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This is because total honesty has the power to DESTROY relationships! FOR EXAMPLE, Dromi... |
real | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] T-REX TODAY IS THE DAY FOR TOTAL EMOTIONAL HONESTY [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Nopers!! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] TODAY is the day of continuing to leave certain emotions unstated AND/OR ignored! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This is because total honesty has the power to DESTROY relationships! FOR EXAMPLE, Dromi... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am strutting today because I am assured of getting what I want! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] My horoscope has promised me this! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] SOON: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And it was RIGHT! Here I am crushing a house, just like I intended to! Have I become and unstoppable force of will? [S... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am strutting today because I am assured of getting what I want! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] My horoscope has promised me this! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] SOON: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And it was RIGHT! Here I am crushing a house, just like I intended to! Have I become and unstoppable force of will? [S... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay! I am going to write a story and it will be something BRAND NEW. It will be the most staggeringly original story ever. It will feature action and characters that COULD NEVER HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED BY ANYONE BUT ME. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND HIS STORY, "TUGGY THE TUGBOAT TUGS...IN SPAC... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay! I am going to write a story and it will be something BRAND NEW. It will be the most staggeringly original story ever. It will feature action and characters that COULD NEVER HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED BY ANYONE BUT ME. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND HIS STORY, "TUGGY THE TUGBOAT TUGS...IN SPAC... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay, so nobody has bought my Tuggy story. THIS IS THEIR LOSS. Tuggy and I don't mind. Instead I will give them another story, about a superhero! A superhero called... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ...Spoiler Alert! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's her name: Spoiler Alert. When she shows up the bad guys ye... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay, so nobody has bought my Tuggy story. THIS IS THEIR LOSS. Tuggy and I don't mind. Instead I will give them another story, about a superhero! A superhero called... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ...Spoiler Alert! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's her name: Spoiler Alert. When she shows up the bad guys ye... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is Pi Day! That means you get to eat pie at 1:59 PM, or 1:59 AM if you're up. I don't know. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I feel a profound disconnect with this holiday! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I get that it's celebrating the UNIVERSAL CONSTANT PI, and that it's celebrated today because 3.14159 can... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is Pi Day! That means you get to eat pie at 1:59 PM, or 1:59 AM if you're up. I don't know. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I feel a profound disconnect with this holiday! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I get that it's celebrating the UNIVERSAL CONSTANT PI, and that it's celebrated today because 3.14159 can... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] Mom you're not allowed to read this okay? If you know how to stop mom from reading my profile please contact me ASAP!! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] Member Name: T-Rex [SPEAKER] MEMBER DESCRIPTION [LINE] i meant to write t-sex there but it won't let me change it [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] Hello lad... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] Mom you're not allowed to read this okay? If you know how to stop mom from reading my profile please contact me ASAP!! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] Member Name: T-Rex [SPEAKER] MEMBER DESCRIPTION [LINE] i meant to write t-sex there but it won't let me change it [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] Hello lad... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LESSONS IN HUMILITY [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] A COMIC [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It occurs to me... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am indeed god at stomping on things! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In fact, I would venture that I am the best at such endeavours! [SPEAKER] UTAHRAPTOR [LINE] I disagree! [SPEAKER]... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LESSONS IN HUMILITY [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] A COMIC [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It occurs to me... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I am indeed god at stomping on things! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In fact, I would venture that I am the best at such endeavours! [SPEAKER] UTAHRAPTOR [LINE] I disagree! [SPEAKER]... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have a brilliant idea for revenging myself against TV's Kelsey Grammer. Oh yes. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THE REVENGE OF T-REX [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] All I have to do is put out a major motion picture and include in it a brilliant role for Kelsey. It will be a dazzling, moving role, but will al... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have a brilliant idea for revenging myself against TV's Kelsey Grammer. Oh yes. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THE REVENGE OF T-REX [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] All I have to do is put out a major motion picture and include in it a brilliant role for Kelsey. It will be a dazzling, moving role, but will al... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] There sure are a lot of songs about dancing! I have probably heard at LEAST three hundred songs about dancing. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ACTUALLY YOU'VE HEARD 1365 SONGS ABOUT DANCING [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Aww, you counted! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So why is music so reflexive? There aren't tons... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] There sure are a lot of songs about dancing! I have probably heard at LEAST three hundred songs about dancing. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] ACTUALLY YOU'VE HEARD 1365 SONGS ABOUT DANCING [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Aww, you counted! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So why is music so reflexive? There aren't tons... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think for public displays of affection! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Everyone else seems to think so, at least! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hey Dromiceiomimus, care to witness a public display of affection? I seem to see them all the time whenever I go out walking! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOM... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think for public displays of affection! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Everyone else seems to think so, at least! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hey Dromiceiomimus, care to witness a public display of affection? I seem to see them all the time whenever I go out walking! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOM... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay okay - so there's been a lot of people born, right? In the history of time there are a lot of people who have been born. So the question is, are there enough people in the world that I could write out a story... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ... and reasonably expect it to have already been LIVED O... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay okay - so there's been a lot of people born, right? In the history of time there are a lot of people who have been born. So the question is, are there enough people in the world that I could write out a story... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ... and reasonably expect it to have already been LIVED O... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Foreshadowing is when you hint at what's about to happen next in a story! It happens whenever a character announces "BOY I SURE HOPE THERE ARE NO EXPLOSIONS ON THE NEXT PAGE!!" just before he gets blown up! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In an EXPLOSION! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LITERARY TECHNIQUES COMI... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Foreshadowing is when you hint at what's about to happen next in a story! It happens whenever a character announces "BOY I SURE HOPE THERE ARE NO EXPLOSIONS ON THE NEXT PAGE!!" just before he gets blown up! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In an EXPLOSION! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LITERARY TECHNIQUES COMI... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man, what a jerky guy! I met the jerkiest guy working at the computer store. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND THE REALLY JERKY GUY [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] What made him so jerky, T-Rex? His haircut? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Worse than that. He was just so smug about everything! I wanted ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man, what a jerky guy! I met the jerkiest guy working at the computer store. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX AND THE REALLY JERKY GUY [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] What made him so jerky, T-Rex? His haircut? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Worse than that. He was just so smug about everything! I wanted ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Superman has given Batman a small supply of kryptonite, so if Superman ever goes CRAZY and starts killing people, Batman can take him down. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This, my friends, is the true meaning of friendship! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Superman trusts Batman with his LIFE. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LIN... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Superman has given Batman a small supply of kryptonite, so if Superman ever goes CRAZY and starts killing people, Batman can take him down. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This, my friends, is the true meaning of friendship! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Superman trusts Batman with his LIFE. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LIN... |
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