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nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think to talk about HINDUISM. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HINDUISM COMICS! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In Hinduism, there are many gods and aspects of gods, and many of these divinities are sexual. It's true! Some even have sex in the woods with regular mortals just for the fun of ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think to talk about HINDUISM. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HINDUISM COMICS! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In Hinduism, there are many gods and aspects of gods, and many of these divinities are sexual. It's true! Some even have sex in the woods with regular mortals just for the fun of ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know what would answer the very important question of "who is the manliest?" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] None other than a manliness contest! Heck yes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, I'm so manly that I crack open walnuts for old ladies with my pectoral muscles! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know what would answer the very important question of "who is the manliest?" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] None other than a manliness contest! Heck yes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, I'm so manly that I crack open walnuts for old ladies with my pectoral muscles! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ah, solipsism. The belief that only one's self exists! Everything and everyone else are just a projection of my imagination. I made them up! Who invented all the arts and sciences? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Why, Apparently, it's me - T-Rex! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Okay, but if this is the ca... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ah, solipsism. The belief that only one's self exists! Everything and everyone else are just a projection of my imagination. I made them up! Who invented all the arts and sciences? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Why, Apparently, it's me - T-Rex! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Okay, but if this is the ca... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Utilitarianism is an ethical system in which you always act to minimize pain and increase happiness! This is the perfect system for me, as I am ALL ABOUT increasing happiness. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] UTILITARIANISM COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, I am crushing this house because,... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Utilitarianism is an ethical system in which you always act to minimize pain and increase happiness! This is the perfect system for me, as I am ALL ABOUT increasing happiness. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] UTILITARIANISM COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, I am crushing this house because,... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] COMPRESSED PORNOGRAPHY COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh oh. . . [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Cover your eyes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Alright, I'm a plumber come to "fix your pipes" but you have no money! Also you're Asian. [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Is there no way I can pay you? [SPEAKER] T-RE... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] COMPRESSED PORNOGRAPHY COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh oh. . . [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Cover your eyes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Alright, I'm a plumber come to "fix your pipes" but you have no money! Also you're Asian. [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Is there no way I can pay you? [SPEAKER] T-RE... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX HAS AUDITIONED FOR A PLAY. HE BELIEVES THE AUDITION WENT WELL, BUT HAS NOT BEEN AWARDED A PART. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LET'S WATCH! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Rejected?! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The heck?! I was way better than most of the people there! It's discrimination! [SPEAKER] DROM... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX HAS AUDITIONED FOR A PLAY. HE BELIEVES THE AUDITION WENT WELL, BUT HAS NOT BEEN AWARDED A PART. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] LET'S WATCH! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Rejected?! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] The heck?! I was way better than most of the people there! It's discrimination! [SPEAKER] DROM... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] How come everything's so EXPENSIVE? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Seriously everyone! How come? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Everything's not THAT expensive, T-Rex. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I don't know, Dromiceiomimus, everything seems pretty expensive to me! It's becoming clear though that my sense o... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] How come everything's so EXPENSIVE? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Seriously everyone! How come? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Everything's not THAT expensive, T-Rex. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I don't know, Dromiceiomimus, everything seems pretty expensive to me! It's becoming clear though that my sense o... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HOW TO BE PATRONIZING [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh shoot, it's so easy! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] AND so fun! AND a recipe for a one-man party! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay, so the first secret to being patronizing is to react to everything people do with an aloof amusement, as if it's so PRECIOUS th... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HOW TO BE PATRONIZING [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh shoot, it's so easy! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] AND so fun! AND a recipe for a one-man party! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay, so the first secret to being patronizing is to react to everything people do with an aloof amusement, as if it's so PRECIOUS th... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Anyway, forget infinite time! I have a better idea. What if this universe is just one . . . of many? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay, people have had my awesome idea before. BUT! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] BUT, my idea is actually DIFFERENT. Because what if these universes all exist at once, right no... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Anyway, forget infinite time! I have a better idea. What if this universe is just one . . . of many? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay, people have had my awesome idea before. BUT! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] BUT, my idea is actually DIFFERENT. Because what if these universes all exist at once, right no... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Who is the best at eatin' cupcakes? The probable answer is T-Rex, because my goodness I ate seven cupcakes yesterday all in a row! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And guys I wasn't even trying that hard! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Wow! If that's the case, you're better at it than me! I start to feel ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Who is the best at eatin' cupcakes? The probable answer is T-Rex, because my goodness I ate seven cupcakes yesterday all in a row! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And guys I wasn't even trying that hard! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Wow! If that's the case, you're better at it than me! I start to feel ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think I put too much symbolism into random encounters with people I meet on the street! I see them as a microcosm for larger society. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It is a problem with me! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] FOR EXAMPLE: the other day I saw some kids who had dropped their bag of marbles. It was a ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think I put too much symbolism into random encounters with people I meet on the street! I see them as a microcosm for larger society. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It is a problem with me! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] FOR EXAMPLE: the other day I saw some kids who had dropped their bag of marbles. It was a ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Time to make some Life Decisions, set some Life Goals! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's right, ladies! I am going to be a dude with direction! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But this isn't just a ploy to seem more comely to members of the attractive sex! I really feel like I need a goal to work towards, s... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Time to make some Life Decisions, set some Life Goals! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] That's right, ladies! I am going to be a dude with direction! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But this isn't just a ploy to seem more comely to members of the attractive sex! I really feel like I need a goal to work towards, s... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So who here wants to TALK ABOUT FEELINGS? Wooo! Everyone loves a dude who talks about feelings, right? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Feelings: let's talk about them! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, how do you FEEL today? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Fine, T-Rex! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hey, I f... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So who here wants to TALK ABOUT FEELINGS? Wooo! Everyone loves a dude who talks about feelings, right? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Feelings: let's talk about them! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dromiceiomimus, how do you FEEL today? [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Fine, T-Rex! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hey, I f... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I was asked for money on the street today, and after I gave what change I had, I was told quite aggressively by the guy that it wasn't enough! This can only mean that it's time once again to discuss everyone's favourite topic. . . [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Panhandling! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And it'... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I was asked for money on the street today, and after I gave what change I had, I was told quite aggressively by the guy that it wasn't enough! This can only mean that it's time once again to discuss everyone's favourite topic. . . [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Panhandling! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And it'... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX STAYS UP FOR 41 HOURS IN THIS COMIC: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Well, I'm perfectly content. Time to mix things up by staying awake for 41 hours! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's going to be great! This is the best idea ev- [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HOUR 20: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'd never wan... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX STAYS UP FOR 41 HOURS IN THIS COMIC: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Well, I'm perfectly content. Time to mix things up by staying awake for 41 hours! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's going to be great! This is the best idea ev- [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] HOUR 20: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'd never wan... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Does language alter the way we think? Sources say: perhaps! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This source says: DEFINITELY YES. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think it's a subtle but pervasive effect! If a language doesn't have a word for something, I think I'm less likely to think about whatever it is that wor... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Does language alter the way we think? Sources say: perhaps! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This source says: DEFINITELY YES. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think it's a subtle but pervasive effect! If a language doesn't have a word for something, I think I'm less likely to think about whatever it is that wor... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ah, the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Pretty crazy! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Following this rule, I could feed my vegetarian friends delicious steak sandwiches, because that's what I'd like, Mmm-mmm delicious! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Ah, the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Pretty crazy! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Following this rule, I could feed my vegetarian friends delicious steak sandwiches, because that's what I'd like, Mmm-mmm delicious! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know what makes me irrationally angry? It's people who say the moon landing was faked! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ARGH! I am getting angry just thinking about it! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] It's not like you to respond so emotionally to something like this, T-Rex! Why don't you just respo... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know what makes me irrationally angry? It's people who say the moon landing was faked! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ARGH! I am getting angry just thinking about it! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] It's not like you to respond so emotionally to something like this, T-Rex! Why don't you just respo... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] JOKES EXPLAINED PRESENTS: "CONFUCIUS SAY" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This vaguely-racist form of comedy relies upon the double-entendre! It narrates the advice of a man called "Confucius" who delivers many a "bon mot". [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] For example: "Confucius say... man who run in front of ... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] JOKES EXPLAINED PRESENTS: "CONFUCIUS SAY" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This vaguely-racist form of comedy relies upon the double-entendre! It narrates the advice of a man called "Confucius" who delivers many a "bon mot". [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] For example: "Confucius say... man who run in front of ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Things sure would be different if one day, the speed of light slowed down to something like half a meter per second for some reason. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Yes indeedy! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] For one, games of hide-and-go-seek would be more complicated. Also if you were a long-distance runner, i... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Things sure would be different if one day, the speed of light slowed down to something like half a meter per second for some reason. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Yes indeedy! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] For one, games of hide-and-go-seek would be more complicated. Also if you were a long-distance runner, i... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THE UNIVERSE WHERE T-REX THINKS EVERYONE SHOULD GO TO CLASS, BUT NOBODY IS GOING TO CLASS: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Why isn't anyone attending their classes? Guys! Class is on! It's time to go to class! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What the heck is wrong with everyone in this universe? [SPEAKER] T-... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THE UNIVERSE WHERE T-REX THINKS EVERYONE SHOULD GO TO CLASS, BUT NOBODY IS GOING TO CLASS: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Why isn't anyone attending their classes? Guys! Class is on! It's time to go to class! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What the heck is wrong with everyone in this universe? [SPEAKER] T-... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-Rex as Cultural Critic [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What's with mainstream music nowadays? It's all so BAD. If I wanted facile lyrics, I would just write them myself and make sure not to try very hard! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] All the music I hear on the radio has lyrics by Timmy! [SPEAKER] T-REX [L... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-Rex as Cultural Critic [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What's with mainstream music nowadays? It's all so BAD. If I wanted facile lyrics, I would just write them myself and make sure not to try very hard! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] All the music I hear on the radio has lyrics by Timmy! [SPEAKER] T-REX [L... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here is a startling thought: what if the things I believe in are wrong? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm serious! This is a big concern for me! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's the reason I've never really attended any political marches - I can only rarely convince myself that I believe in something SO MUC... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Here is a startling thought: what if the things I believe in are wrong? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm serious! This is a big concern for me! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's the reason I've never really attended any political marches - I can only rarely convince myself that I believe in something SO MUC... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man, how great would it be to have a TATTOO? Assuming it does not go disastrously wrong, it would be super cool! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX'S BIG TATTOO [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] How would it go disastrously wrong? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh you know - the usual. I get a tattoo of some... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Man, how great would it be to have a TATTOO? Assuming it does not go disastrously wrong, it would be super cool! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX'S BIG TATTOO [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] How would it go disastrously wrong? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh you know - the usual. I get a tattoo of some... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] TIME TO TELL PEOPLE SOME EMBARRASSING SECRETS T-REX [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Aw man, I don't want to tell anyone my few remaining embarrassing secrets! Come on. [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] SERIOUSLY IT'LL BE A HOOT [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] No! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] DUDE COME ON TELL PEOPLE YOUR EMBARRASSING SE... |
real | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] TIME TO TELL PEOPLE SOME EMBARRASSING SECRETS T-REX [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Aw man, I don't want to tell anyone my few remaining embarrassing secrets! Come on. [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] SERIOUSLY IT'LL BE A HOOT [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] No! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] DUDE COME ON TELL PEOPLE YOUR EMBARRASSING SE... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Tonight is Hallowe'en, and that means... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ... treats! Hooray! Hooray for treats! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Are you - you're going trick-or-treating this year, T-Rex? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sure am! I have decided that giving it up when I achieved pubescence was a MISTA... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Tonight is Hallowe'en, and that means... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ... treats! Hooray! Hooray for treats! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Are you - you're going trick-or-treating this year, T-Rex? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sure am! I have decided that giving it up when I achieved pubescence was a MISTA... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have discovered a new philosophy for life that appeals to my own sense of self-worth! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Egoism! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In egoism, all your actions are motivated by a desire to make things easy for one person: yourself! For instance, I crush this house because it's in my way... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have discovered a new philosophy for life that appeals to my own sense of self-worth! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Egoism! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] In egoism, all your actions are motivated by a desire to make things easy for one person: yourself! For instance, I crush this house because it's in my way... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THE DAY DROMICEIOMIMUS INVITED PEOPLE TO A PARTY TOO EARLY [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] (in comic form!) [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Well! I certainly hope I don't get prematurely invited to any PARTIES today! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] BUT THEN...! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Hey T-Rex, do you wan... |
real | [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THE DAY DROMICEIOMIMUS INVITED PEOPLE TO A PARTY TOO EARLY [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] (in comic form!) [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Well! I certainly hope I don't get prematurely invited to any PARTIES today! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] BUT THEN...! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Hey T-Rex, do you wan... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think for trying to explore THE VERY LIMITS OF MY OWN BODY. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] By which I mean "examining instinctual responses", of course! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I find the idea of instincts interesting. What's it like having a drive to do something but not really unde... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Today is a good day I think for trying to explore THE VERY LIMITS OF MY OWN BODY. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] By which I mean "examining instinctual responses", of course! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I find the idea of instincts interesting. What's it like having a drive to do something but not really unde... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] There was a mouse in my house last night. A mouse! In my house! That rhymes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But that's not important right now! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This mouse was not only in my house but in my kitchen and on my kitchen counter. Clearly, he needs to die! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LIN... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] There was a mouse in my house last night. A mouse! In my house! That rhymes! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But that's not important right now! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This mouse was not only in my house but in my kitchen and on my kitchen counter. Clearly, he needs to die! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LIN... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] HEY T-REX HAVE YOU EVER PULLED ANY SWEET PRANKS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sure have, God! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] HAHA ME TOO MAN WHAT ARE YOURS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Well! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Back when I was in middle school, I used to go to the computer labs and add all sorts of common typos and mi... |
real | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] HEY T-REX HAVE YOU EVER PULLED ANY SWEET PRANKS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Sure have, God! [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] HAHA ME TOO MAN WHAT ARE YOURS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Well! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Back when I was in middle school, I used to go to the computer labs and add all sorts of common typos and mi... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have decided to become a scientist dinosaur. All I need to complete the ensemble is glasses and a lab coat. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You can call me... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Professor Tyrannosaurus Rex, PhD! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Do you have any science questions you'd like answered? [SPEAKER] ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I have decided to become a scientist dinosaur. All I need to complete the ensemble is glasses and a lab coat. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You can call me... [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Professor Tyrannosaurus Rex, PhD! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Do you have any science questions you'd like answered? [SPEAKER] ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm going to write the best story ever. It's called - okay, I don't know what it's called. But i have a fantastic premise! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's a world where everyone knows how they're going to die! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You can go in to a doctor and he takes a blood test, and then his ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm going to write the best story ever. It's called - okay, I don't know what it's called. But i have a fantastic premise! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's a world where everyone knows how they're going to die! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You can go in to a doctor and he takes a blood test, and then his ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] HeLa cells are a strain of cancer cells that, unlike regular body cells, can live indefinitely outside the body, grow very quickly, and don't die form old age. They are used in labs worldwide and are in many ways an independent organism! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] They also helped in the research tha... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] HeLa cells are a strain of cancer cells that, unlike regular body cells, can live indefinitely outside the body, grow very quickly, and don't die form old age. They are used in labs worldwide and are in many ways an independent organism! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] They also helped in the research tha... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] HEY T-REX YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SOON [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm going to ignore the symbolism of this! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX IN: THE MALL [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THAT EVENING: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ARGH! I had hoped to avoid this realization, but it's inescapab... |
real | [SPEAKER] GOD [LINE] HEY T-REX YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SOON [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm going to ignore the symbolism of this! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX IN: THE MALL [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] THAT EVENING: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] ARGH! I had hoped to avoid this realization, but it's inescapab... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So then, today is a good day for learning to play the piano! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] For such a skilled dinosaur as myself, it should be simple! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Besides, nothing says "cultured" like playing the piano! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Hey, if you learn to play the piano, does... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So then, today is a good day for learning to play the piano! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] For such a skilled dinosaur as myself, it should be simple! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Besides, nothing says "cultured" like playing the piano! [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Hey, if you learn to play the piano, does... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I wonder if there are any revelations that would make me want to end a long-term friendship with someone. What would they have to say? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I guess if they were a crazy racist, that would probably do it! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But then I wouldn't be friends with them in the fir... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I wonder if there are any revelations that would make me want to end a long-term friendship with someone. What would they have to say? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I guess if they were a crazy racist, that would probably do it! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] But then I wouldn't be friends with them in the fir... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know what people don't say often enough anymore? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "Holy smokes!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Holy smokes, but that's a pretty awesome expression! "That dude just fell down the stairs! Holy smokes!" It has the charm of a child, yet is better than the old standby of "holy cow" ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] You know what people don't say often enough anymore? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] "Holy smokes!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Holy smokes, but that's a pretty awesome expression! "That dude just fell down the stairs! Holy smokes!" It has the charm of a child, yet is better than the old standby of "holy cow" ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh man, I haven't bought anyone any presents yet! I AM SO POOCHED! I am the worst friend in the world. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This will consummate my social ruin FOR SURE! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] SOON: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh, hey, Dromiceiomimus! How's - how are things? [SPEAKER] DROMICEI... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh man, I haven't bought anyone any presents yet! I AM SO POOCHED! I am the worst friend in the world. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] This will consummate my social ruin FOR SURE! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] SOON: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Oh, hey, Dromiceiomimus! How's - how are things? [SPEAKER] DROMICEI... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay okay so - am I making the best use of my time? Judging by the success of others the answer may well be, in fact, "PERHAPS NOT". [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] BACKSTORY: T-REX IS WORRIED HE'S NOT AS AFFLUENT AS HE SHOULD BE? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I've never really cared about being rich before, ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Okay okay so - am I making the best use of my time? Judging by the success of others the answer may well be, in fact, "PERHAPS NOT". [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] BACKSTORY: T-REX IS WORRIED HE'S NOT AS AFFLUENT AS HE SHOULD BE? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I've never really cared about being rich before, ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It would be cool to be able to flash forward and see what my life would actually be like in ten or twenty years. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Cool AND improbable! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So improbable, in fact, that I have no idea of how I would accomplish it. Ah well! SO MUCH FOR VISIONS OF TOMORROW.... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It would be cool to be able to flash forward and see what my life would actually be like in ten or twenty years. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Cool AND improbable! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So improbable, in fact, that I have no idea of how I would accomplish it. Ah well! SO MUCH FOR VISIONS OF TOMORROW.... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I've never had any problems with dating someone of a different religion, but I imagine under certain circumstances it could be a problem! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Much like... most things? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I guess if there was some religious beliefs that one person had and the other didn't, i... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I've never had any problems with dating someone of a different religion, but I imagine under certain circumstances it could be a problem! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Much like... most things? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I guess if there was some religious beliefs that one person had and the other didn't, i... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What is the deal with everyone walking in on me while I'm having showers? This has gone well beyond random chance and I am at a loss to explain it. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Everyone needs to stop walking in on me while I'm having a shower, please! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And with that I'm off to go ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What is the deal with everyone walking in on me while I'm having showers? This has gone well beyond random chance and I am at a loss to explain it. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Everyone needs to stop walking in on me while I'm having a shower, please! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] And with that I'm off to go ... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Is it possible to have adventures in today's modern world? I mean real adventures, like ones where I get to swashbuckle. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] T-Rex says, "probably not!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think we've made our environment so predictable and safe that there's no real opportunity to go whe... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Is it possible to have adventures in today's modern world? I mean real adventures, like ones where I get to swashbuckle. [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] T-Rex says, "probably not!" [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I think we've made our environment so predictable and safe that there's no real opportunity to go whe... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Anyway, I've had enough of that Utahraptor and his ilk. I don't care what he thinks we did! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What I do care about is vitamin B12! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] VITAMIN B12 [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] an educational installment [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Vitamin B12: What is i... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Anyway, I've had enough of that Utahraptor and his ilk. I don't care what he thinks we did! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What I do care about is vitamin B12! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] VITAMIN B12 [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] an educational installment [SPEAKER] DROMICEIOMIMUS [LINE] Vitamin B12: What is i... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dating both twin sisters at the same time: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hot? Or just, in fact, KIND OF WEIRD? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm afraid that I fall on the "kind of weird" side of the fence this time. While I'm usually in favour of the hot makeouts, they're sisters! It's like they've made out wi... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Dating both twin sisters at the same time: [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Hot? Or just, in fact, KIND OF WEIRD? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] I'm afraid that I fall on the "kind of weird" side of the fence this time. While I'm usually in favour of the hot makeouts, they're sisters! It's like they've made out wi... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It occurs to me that democracy is pretty unfair if you're not a dude who's in the majority! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] DEMOCRACY COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It sucks, because if everyone disagrees with you, then you'll never get anything you want. It's majority rule! MOB rule! [SPEAKER] DROMICEI... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It occurs to me that democracy is pretty unfair if you're not a dude who's in the majority! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] DEMOCRACY COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It sucks, because if everyone disagrees with you, then you'll never get anything you want. It's majority rule! MOB rule! [SPEAKER] DROMICEI... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Vegetarians are chicks and dudes who don't eat a lot of meat for some reason or whatever! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] DIFFERENT TYPES OF VEGETARIANISM [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] First off, you've got your lacto-ovo vegetarians, who don't eat meat but do eat eggs and milk. There's also lacto vegetarians... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] Vegetarians are chicks and dudes who don't eat a lot of meat for some reason or whatever! [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] DIFFERENT TYPES OF VEGETARIANISM [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] First off, you've got your lacto-ovo vegetarians, who don't eat meat but do eat eggs and milk. There's also lacto vegetarians... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] FUN FACT: Did you know that if you're in a situation where your messages have a chance of being lost or misunderstood, then you can never fully share information with someone? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's totally true, even if all the messages arrive unmolested! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So Dromiceio... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] FUN FACT: Did you know that if you're in a situation where your messages have a chance of being lost or misunderstood, then you can never fully share information with someone? [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] It's totally true, even if all the messages arrive unmolested! [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] So Dromiceio... |
nonsequitur | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] If I were to be reincarnated, I would like it to be as one of those big machines that eats smaller machines for an audience. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX IN: REINCARNATION COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What? They're awesome. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] BUT THEN! [SPEAKER] UTAHRAPTOR [LINE] Does ... |
real | [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] If I were to be reincarnated, I would like it to be as one of those big machines that eats smaller machines for an audience. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] T-REX IN: REINCARNATION COMICS [SPEAKER] T-REX [LINE] What? They're awesome. [SPEAKER] NARRATOR [LINE] BUT THEN! [SPEAKER] UTAHRAPTOR [LINE] Does ... |
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