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352 | 'consider the following' comes courtesy of bill nye, the science guy! | T-Rex: I submit that there are a finite number of songs! Therefore, the art of writing music is the art of exploring a closed space of possibility.
T-Rex: Consider the following!
T-Rex: There are effective limits on what constitutes music. If we take a week as a very generous upper-bound on the length of one song, then... | |
354 | my new temporally-based compression scheme is unstoppable! | Narrator: T-REX AS: "THE COMPUTER SCIENTIST"
Narrator: part 2
T-Rex: Okay, so we covered how everything in a computer is stored in binary code!
T-Rex: And we covered how any series of binary digits (called bits) can be transformed into a number. But these numbers are really large! They take a long time to send to someo... | |
355 | PARTIALLY based on a true story | Narrator: T-REX IN: "MOVIE ETIQUETTE"
T-Rex: Okay, so I can accept that nobody applauds at the end of a film anymore.
T-Rex: (Even though it is the classy thing to do!)
T-Rex: But what is with the staff coming in to clean up before the credits are even half over? That's just rude!
Dromiceiomimus: You're a dying breed, ... | |
356 | but all of these also work for men so it's okay! | T-Rex: I like my women like I like my cars!
T-Rex: Expensive!
T-Rex: I like my women like I like my cars!
Dromiceiomimus: Foreign?
T-Rex: Good one! Um... revved up?
Dromiceiomimus: Fast?
T-Rex: Low-maintenence?
Dromiceiomimus: Freshly waxed, with a GPS tracking system?
Utahraptor: T-Rex, this is insanely sexist!
T-Rex:... | |
357 | you know, just in case it wasn't clear | Narrator: A MORAL ALLEGORY
T-Rex: [tiny] T- oh my gosh!
T-Rex: [tiny] I've lost my voice!
T-Rex: [tiny] This is a disaster! Dromiceiomimus, you have to help me!
Dromiceiomimus: Ha ha, nope! Maybe this will let US get a word in edgewise!
T-Rex: [tiny] I let you guys talk! I am always interested in what you have to say!
... | |
358 | if you really respected me, you'd trick me into falling in love with you | T-Rex: I've never seen the world, but that's going to change...
T-Rex: ...today!
T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, I am going to go on a trip around the world. Would you like to be my "travelling companion"?
Dromiceiomimus: Sure! Although, the emphasis you placed on "travelling companion" does fill me with some suspicion.
T-Rex: ... | |
359 | friendship with this COMIC annulled | T-Rex: The other day I heard a math joke that I just had to share! So there's this party, right?
T-Rex: A party of functions!
T-Rex: All of the functions are there: eˣ, πr², i², even some old-school guys like abs(x). Anyway, poor eˣ is alone in a corner, acting all morose. His good friend 2ˣ comes over and says, “What’... | |
360 | and i do too! | Narrator: YOU ARE GREAT
Narrator: a web card
T-Rex: Dear recipient of this comic:
T-Rex: Whoever sent this to you thinks you are great!
T-Rex: Let's assume this person is a guy. Boy, does he ever like you! He likes you so much he lets someone else do his writing for him and uses pre-packaged sentimen-
T-Rex: - But that... | |
361 | shouting 'somebody say yes!' is the best way to win arguments, i think | T-Rex: "Life is a neoclassical pastiche"!
T-Rex: This is gold!
T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, would you agree that life is a neoclassical pastiche?
Dromiceiomimus: I would not, as I think you couldn't even define what a neoclassical pastiche is, my friend.
T-Rex: Well Dromiceiomimus, I think it's pretty clear.
T-Rex: Ah, yes i... | |
362 | unfortunately i couldn't compress how amazingly well-written the book is :( | Narrator: COMPRESSED NOVEL COMICS
Narrator: today's book: LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov
T-Rex: Lolita, light of my life! Fire of my loins! My sin, my soul!
T-Rex: Ha ha, so seriously, I have a thing for 12-year-old girls. I'm ashamed of it, and yet -
T-Rex: - and yet, I certainly enjoy marrying widows in order to gain acc... | |
363 | shuck your jive, man! shuck ALL your jive! | T-Rex: Another beautiful day: such nice sun, a fresh scent in the air, and I'm out for a walk!
T-Rex: Yes indeed, it's good to be young!
T-Rex: Hmm, but it would be better to be both young and in love.
T-Rex: *sigh*
T-Rex: Life is beautiful but sad sometimes!
Utahraptor: Maybe you should write something about it!
Utahr... | |
364 | WANTED: A LADY
MAYBE YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET ME?
I AM THE DUDE WHO PUT UP THIS POSTER | Narrator: HOW TO ATTRACT WOMEN
T-Rex: Attracting women is easy!
T-Rex: Personally, I rely on my rugged physique and piercing orange eyes (in which, because they are so deep and soulful, one feels they could drown), coupled with my delightful conversational skills and coquettish flair!
Utahraptor: This is not much help ... | |
365 | 'i trip down south': new slang forms from ryan's bad typing skills | T-Rex: This weekend, I go on a trip! I trip DOWN SOUTH.
T-Rex: Another friend of mine is getting married!
T-Rex: This will be my first heterosexual wedding. I'm excited! I got a nice card and everything!
T-Rex: The only thing I'm worried about is the dancing. I have such big, manly feet that sometimes they get in the w... | |
366 | the king of the dance is distinct from the lord of the dance in several dance-centric ways | T-Rex: Oh man... best wedding ever!
T-Rex: And with my new dance moves, I "tore up the dance floor"!
Dromiceiomimus: Are you sure it wasn't just a confidence thing? A sort of "the new dance moves were in you all along" thing?
T-Rex: I was - until you asked! Hmmm...
Utahraptor: So, T-Rex! How did it go?
T-Rex: It went f... | |
367 | so it turns out god could be talking about having all the identification you need, or having all the primitive instincts and energies underlying all psychic activity you need | God: HEY T-REX THE NEXT TIME SOMEBODY ASKS YOU FOR ID YOU SHOULD PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SAY THIS IS ALL THE ID I NEED
T-Rex: Genius; only I don't wear pants!
T-Rex: You know that, God.
God: OKAY WELL IF YOU WORE PANTS IT WOULD WORK REALLY WELL ON ALL SORTS OF THINGS
God: THIS IS ALL THE THESIS DEFENSE I NEED
God: THI... | |
368 | that's some trick! | T-Rex: Yes indeed! If I were the last man on Earth...
T-Rex: ...things would be different!
T-Rex: [starts daydreaming]
[T-Rex's daydream]
T-Rex: Hi, I'm the last man on Earth!
Dromiceiomimus: My, my! Hello!
T-Rex: Would you say you and your girlfriends find that... attractive?
T-Rex: [harshly returns to reality]
Utahra... | |
369 | i got my wish | T-Rex: It's a real shame that all those great careers I wanted as a child will probably never come true for me. I'll never get to be an astronaut, or a race car driver, or a movie star!
T-Rex: It's a sad realization - I always sort of hoped such a job would just... fall into my lap!
Dromiceiomimus: Have you ever imagin... | |
370 | ha ha ha OOPS | Narrator: SOCIAL RUIN COMICS
T-Rex: I am sick of cold, emotionally distant women!
T-Rex: That is: in theory!
T-Rex: In practice, I guess I would need more experience with women, emotionally distant or otherwise.
Dromiceiomimus: What, are you talking about me? You're saying I'm emotionally distant!
T-Rex: No!
Utahraptor... | |
371 | who's to say we ALL wouldn't have been chatty giant green dinosaurs stomping on things, had we lived millions of years ago? | Narrator: T-REX IN: "PRESENTISM"
T-Rex: Presentism is when you interpret the historical past with a view from the present!
T-Rex: Its danger is not just that it is often self-congratulatory, but also that judging historical figures by present-day moral standards is likely not a fruitful line of inquiry. What we see as ... | |
372 | oh man, thanks to the 1920s for the 'being so surprised as to jump backwards out of frame' motif! | Narrator: T-REX IN: "FUTURISTS"
T-Rex: Stupid futurists!
T-Rex: They think they're so great just because they talk about the future all day long. "Ooh, look at me! I think that the future will have Internet robot nano-maids! Put me on the news!" Well I've got news for you, "futurists"! Anyone can call themselves a futu... | |
373 | today's comic was going to be about a new form of time that comes after the future, but that didn't make sense. | Narrator: HISTORIOGRAPHY COMICS
Narrator: featuring "Good Ol' T-Rex"
T-Rex: Historiography is the history of history, and includes the study of how history is understood!
T-Rex: We tend to think that history is just a record of what goes on in the past, but this overlooks the fact that two different people can view the... | |
374 | i think the utahraptor was setting himself up for a joke in the second-last panel, but then the t-rex became all self-absorbed so we never got to hear the utahraptor's punchline.
THAT'S WHAT I THINK. | T-Rex: So - wait. What am I out for? I remember meaning to pick something up, but now I can't remember what!
T-Rex: Was it batteries, maybe?
T-Rex: Why am I here?
Dromiceiomimus: Well T-Rex, I think you're here - as I think we're all here - in order to make the world a better place. That is the purpose of life, I belie... | |
375 | well gosh i was hoping for some considered debate but i guess i'll just have to PARTY DOWN INSTEAD!! | Narrator: IT'S A PARTY IN THIS COMIC AND EVERYONE'S INVITED
T-Rex: Whoo!! Does anybody here like to party?
T-Rex: Does anybody here like to STOMP on HOUSES?!
T-Rex: If so, then I propose you join my party, featuring T-Rex! Whoo!
T-Rex: Stomping on houses!
T-Rex: Extreme!!
Utahraptor: You're a one-man party, my friend!
... | |
376 | turns out that there's a lot of different dudes just down the street | T-Rex: So, I accept that I am the epitome of the male form with typical grace. But what is with my getting a sunburn?
T-Rex: Huh?
T-Rex: Clearly, my body is UNDEREVOLVED. Being able to be burnt by the sun - which, I don't have to remind you, Dromiceiomimus, shines on the Earth EVERY DAY - seems to me to be a pretty big... | |
377 | ha ha ha, whoah | T-Rex: My favourite cross-cutting technique of all time?
T-Rex: Why, the circle wipe!
T-Rex: I can't get enough! All you have to do for comedic gold is have someone say "Boy, I sure hope <x> doesn't happen to me!"
T-Rex: Then we have a circle wipe to 8 hours later, and <x> has happened to them anyway! Ho ho! Whoops!
Ut... | |
378 | just checking in, you know? | T-Rex: Hmm... maybe social relationships would be much easier if everyone said exactly what they were thinking!
T-Rex: This gives me an idea! My idea is what I was just talking about!
T-Rex: Hello, Dromiceiomimus, and am I glad to see YOU! Today I've decided to heck with being polite, and I'm saying whatever's on my mi... | |
379 | NO WAY DUDE | T-Rex: I was down at the beach last week and there were all these adorable little hermit crabs running around! They were so cute that I scooped up a bunch and brought them home!
T-Rex: They were my new pets!
T-Rex: But then after a while I got tired of my new pets so I gobbled them up!
T-Rex: Tra la la!
Utahraptor: You... | |
380 | so i did this comic a while ago as a joke but then i was like, people need to know this stuff | Heading: SUBJECT: hee hee hee hee MOOD: ☹ Groggy MUSIC: Cibo Matto - Birthday Cake
T-Rex: Sry people for not updateing lately!!!
T-Rex: I haven't updated in awhile, mainly because my puter has been annoyingly slow. I need to ask my 'rents to buy me a new one!
T-Rex: neway not much is new with me.... i really need to go... | |
381 | alternate last panel: instead of god saying 'probably not', the narrator writes 'HMM...' and omg reality is redefined! | Narrator: FATALISM COMICS
T-Rex: Fatalism is when - ah, screw it!
T-Rex: I'm sure if you were meant to know about fatalism, you'd find out about it eventually. In any case, fatalism is the belief that future events are predetermined for the whole of time and are entirely unalterable!
Utahraptor: You just defined fatali... | |
382 | i love that 'me too' voice in the first panel, whoever it is | Narrator: WHAT IF... DINOSAURS HAD NEVER GONE EXTINCT?
T-Rex: I feel about the same.
Off panel: Me too!
Narrator: "WHAT IF..." COMICS
Narrator: WHAT IF... T-REX WERE VERY VERY TINY?
T-Rex: Luckily, everything else in the Universe has shrunk to the same scale!
Dromiceiomimus: Yes, from any given perspective there is no ... | |
383 | Many years later, you meet the ghost again, and it is just as spooky as the first time. Several years after that you die of natural causes! OR SHOULD I SAY 'SUPERNATURAL CAUSES'? | T-Rex: I have written the spookiest ghost story ever! It is called, "The Man Who Died And Came Back As A Ghost".
T-Rex: It's spooky! It says so in the first sentence!
T-Rex: It says, "It was spooky night, with a ghost! The ghost was the spookiest ghost in the world, and he was so spooky that if you saw him you'd be sca... | |
384 | so yeah, there's the movie! | Narrator: COMPRESSED FILM COMICS today's film:
T-Rex: I'm Bill S. Preston!
Narrator: BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
T-Rex: Esquire!
Narrator: GREECE, 405 BC
T-Rex: Thanks to Rufus' excellent time-travelling telephone booth, we can travel to any time period! Thus, Ted and I are gathering some ancient history dudes s... | |
385 | if you could write love letters to words i would write one to 'awesome' and 'awkward' and 'wacky' and 'abstruse' and 'sated' and more and i wouldn't let any of them know about the others. | Narrator: T-REX AND HIS WACKY DINOSAUR FRIENDS
T-Rex: Time to visit all my wacky friends!
Narrator: SOON:
T-Rex: Oh hey, Dromiceiomimus, my wackiest of wacky friends! What are you up to? Some crazy scheme, no doubt!
Dromiceiomimus: I'm selling unwanted possessions on eBay!
T-Rex: Ha ha! That's WACKY.
Utahraptor: T-Rex!... | |
386 | god apparently wasn't paying attention yesterday
to this comic, i mean | God: T-REX YOUR FRIENDS SURE ARE CRAZY EH
T-Rex: Huh? God, my friends aren't crazy. Crazy's insane. My friends are WACKY.
T-Rex: Wacky.
God: THEY'RE PRETTY CRAZY
T-Rex: Probably not, cause they're wacky!
God: LOOK IN A LITTLE BIT THE UTAHRAPTOR IS GOING TO ASK YOU AN UNNECESSARY FAVOUR AND IT WOULD BE COOL IF YOU SAID ... | |
387 | oh man i hope this book hasn't already been written or i owe some author a pretty big apology | T-Rex: I'm going to write a great novel! It will be about one man's struggle to make a life for himself in the modern world, and it will be wonderful. He will achieve all he desires, and be at the peak of his career!
T-Rex: And then, in the last sentence, a filing cabinet says "You're fired, and I can talk!"
T-Rex: Hah... | |
388 | god's 0 for 2. backstory: t-rex is wondering if he's developing as he should | T-Rex: Are you there, God? It's me, -
God: YO RIGHT HERE
God: WHAT'S GOING ON T-REX
T-Rex: You know, not much!
T-Rex: I was just wondering if You'd heard any good jokes lately.
God: MAN NOPE CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE
T-Rex: Really? You haven't heard ONE good joke?
T-Rex: Maybe even a joke that was just alright?
Utahraptor:... | |
389 | in this comic, haikus are big in japan, and are akin to rock music | T-Rex: The night started cold - Too cold, and it got colder: A night for murder.
T-Rex: Alright everyone! There's no need for any more haiku: the art form has peaked!
T-Rex: This is because I've just composed the Perfect Haiku. It has intrigue, a cold night, and perhaps, a hint of gunplay?
T-Rex: Truly, the best haiku ... | |
390 | Quite frankly, there were some parts that didn't make sense and seemed destined to remain, apparently forever, wholly beyond my understanding. | T-Rex: If there's one thing I know...
T-Rex: ... it's women!
T-Rex: Isn't that right, Dromiceiomimus? Wouldn't you agree that I have an uncanny understanding of the female gender?
Dromiceiomimus: I wouldn't put it that way!
T-Rex: Come now, don't be shy!
Utahraptor: I disagree with you as well, my friend!
T-Rex: But wh... | |
391 | this comic is better with HOT CHOCOLATE. i believe in miracles! where you from, you sexy thing? | T-Rex: I have faith in random developments of chance of a potentially divine nature. From where do you hail?
T-Rex: You attractive individual!
T-Rex: I have faith in what may appear to be miraculous occurrences, Since you entered my immediate locale,
T-Rex: You attractive individual.
Utahraptor: Where is your place of ... | |
393 | has anyone ever written an entire other comic series into their continuity before? THEY HAVE NOW. | Narrator: T-REX HAS GOTTEN A NEW PET DOG:
T-Rex: I've gotten a new pet dog!
T-Rex: Hooray!
T-Rex: My last pet dog ran away because I never fed him. But THIS new dog I'm sure to feed every day!
Dromiceiomimus: That's very resp - actually, T-Rex, that's exactly as responsible as you should be.
T-Rex: I know this now!
Uta... | |
394 | this comic could probably be used to entice people to subscribe to an adult website, if you were CRAZY | T-Rex: [thinks] naked people
T-Rex: Hot!
T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, what's your opinion on people who are naked?
Dromiceiomimus: I would think that they are hot!
T-Rex: I would be forced to agree with you my good lady!!
Utahraptor: I too would agree with you re: hot naked people, my friend!
Narrator: THE END
Narrator: POST... | |
395 | alternate ending: 'the kid has like a bazillion parents! and as you know, parents are the wingmen on the flight through life.' | T-Rex: Okay! So, we get a couple - no! - a polyamorous CROWD of people, who all want to have a child, but who are all infertile. So! Then we get a donated fertilized egg...
T-Rex: ... and bring it to term with a surrogate mother who is herself married!
T-Rex: THEN, you give the child to the polyamorous crowd, who have ... | |
396 | UNSOLICITED time travel advice comics, more like | Narrator: TIME TRAVEL ADVICE COMICS
T-Rex: If you ever find your consciousness - your self - sent back in time to the body of a much younger you, there are some changes to be expected! Remember:
T-Rex: It can be frustrating to live out your life again!
T-Rex: But - there is hope. Small changes compound into large ones,... | |
397 | if you make sure never to say the phrase 'crazy sexual', you can avoid these situations! | Narrator: IT WAS ALL A DREAM
T-Rex: Phew, it was all a dream!
T-Rex: The mission to find the treasure, the car chase: all a dream!
T-Rex: My high school math teacher naked and smiling: all a dream!
T-Rex: That bizarre thing with the Utahraptor that I don't want to talk about: all a dream!
Utahraptor: Wait, what was thi... | |
398 | it would have been really good though | T-Rex: So a friend of mine got a cell phone!
T-Rex: I know!
T-Rex: I'm of the belief that some businessmen who are never in the office could use them, but that most people don't REALLY need one. Therefore, they are allowed to be teased by me!
T-Rex: Ho ho! They are allowed to be teased by me whenever they use their pho... | |
400 | there should probably be a capital 'S' on 'stimulating' there | T-Rex: Alright! New novel: done! This one is a romance, and is called:
T-Rex: "Pretzels In A Lady's Lap"!
T-Rex: It's named after a particularly striking scene from the book! We’re at a party, and a young man accidentally spills pretzels, as he walks by, into the titular Lady’s lap! She looks up: eyes meet, bosoms - on... | |
402 | alternate, sadder ending: 'so! that's it, then?' | T-Rex: Time to go on a wacky adventure, which would be quite amazing to an imaginary third party with the ability to see my actions rendered as a continuous narrative!
Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: Whew!!
T-Rex: Kick ass!
T-Rex: Well, that was pretty much the best adventure ever! Do you recall when we got trapped in that min... | |
403 | guys like t-rex, they had it made | T-Rex: I wonder, did growing up in a small town influence my values?
T-Rex: Perhaps!
T-Rex: Though, I think, not as much as I would have liked it to. Sometimes I feel like I cling to my small-town origins as a substitute for a real identity!
Utahraptor: You’re suggesting that a small town provides a "ready made" identi... | |
404 | man, throw in some suicides left and right, and you've got the ultimate serious improv scene! or something from degrassi | T-Rex: I can never let my father, whom I have a close relationship with, know my shameful secret! I never-
T-Rex: *choke*
T-Rex: I never meant to kill my best friend!
T-Rex: It was my first time drinking, and I thought that I was good to drive!
Dromiceiomimus: We tried to warn you! We, your other friends, tried to warn... | |
405 | dude you SAID this wouldn't happen! | T-Rex: I wonder what the future holds!
T-Rex: Hmmm...
T-Rex: [starts daydreaming]
[T-Rex's daydream]
T-Rex: Whoo! Civilization's destroyed!
T-Rex: [stops daydreaming]
T-Rex: Whoah!
T-Rex: That was like - a grim, dystopian vision!
T-Rex: A vision... of TOMORROW!
Utahraptor: You look troubled, my friend!
T-Rex: That's be... | |
406 | that's - that's pretty popular | Narrator: T-REX IN: “SEX ADVICE”
T-Rex: Woohoo! Sex advice!
T-Rex: Our first letter comes from me!
T-Rex: I write, “Dear T-Rex: I love your show! I have a question: sex? Huh? What’s the deal?”
T-Rex: Wow! Thanks for your letter, "T"!
T-Rex: To answer your question, I -
Utahraptor: May I?
T-Rex: May you what?
Utahraptor... | |
407 | you can read 'talking' as a verb, but that's not what i meant, so it'd be cool if you didn't do that | T-Rex: So! Generalizations!
T-Rex: I don't understand them!
T-Rex: For instance, after being bit by three tigers, I'd start to generalize that maybe I shouldn't poke tigers, because then they'll bite me. But if I happened to meet three jerky citizens of a town, the same process could make me conclude that everyone ther... | |
408 | i guess there is a lessen here for us all | T-Rex: Down with money!
T-Rex: We don't need it!
T-Rex: We can just return to our utopia of old, before money turned us all in to greedy, money-obsessed quasi-people! Right, Dromiceiomimus? Right!
T-Rex: Money is an aberration that lessens us all! We don’t need it!
Utahraptor: But without money, people would still trad... | |
409 | actually i think that's a pretty good way to end conversations | Narrator: SOCIAL SKILLS COMICS
T-Rex: Social skills are very important things to have!
T-Rex: They are what allow us to get along with others, and are the foundation of society!
T-Rex: With the invention of the "internet" and "email" and "instant messaging software", people are more social than ever - and this increase... | |
410 | 'britishmen' is definitely one word | T-Rex: Ah, do I ever love the broad stereotypes of cultures!
T-Rex: Do I ever!
T-Rex: They're like generalizations across races, only socially acceptable!
T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, did you know that Latin women are passionate and fiery?
Dromiceiomimus: That is the stereotype!
T-Rex: And Britishmen are cultured and maybe a... | |
411 | this is pretty much my birthday present to myself! | T-Rex: Here I go, here I go, here I go again! Girls, what's my weakness?
T-Rex: Men!
T-Rex: Ok then, chillin', chillin', mindin' my business...
Dromiceiomimus: Word!
T-Rex: Yo, Salt, I looked around, and I couldn't believe this: I swear, I stared, my niece my witness! The brother had it goin' on with somethin' kinda...... | |
412 | cause it feels a little sexist in here is all! | T-Rex: I had the strangest dream last night! There was this disease going around that made people really - violent, I guess?
T-Rex: Anyway, it affected these two women who I guess lived at my house!
T-Rex: It was really creepy, because these women would SEEM fine, but then they'd just keep trying to get close to me, no... | |
413 | T-Rex: When is something uncool enough to be COOL again? Is there someone who decides one day that California Raisins shirts are back in vogue?
God: HEY MAN DON'T LOOK AT ME
T-Rex: Well I ju-- [panel floor breaks under T-Rex and he falls through it]
Dromiceiomimus: ...T-Rex?
[T-Rex landed on a flower field with some mo... | ||
414 | apparently we must not go into these things lightly | Narrator: MID-AFTERNOON:
T-Rex: Whew! What a fantastic nap!
T-Rex: It seems I just had a snooze... and didn't lose!
T-Rex: Ho ho! Did you hear that, Dromiceiomimus? I had a snooze... and didn't lose!
Dromiceiomimus: Yes! Very clever, T-Rex.
T-Rex: Because normally people say "You snooze, you lose", but in my case I did... | |
415 | emotions? huh? | T-Rex: New theory:
T-Rex: Emotions are for the weak!
T-Rex: Wouldn't you agree, Dromiceiomimus?
Dromiceiomimus: But I like emotions, T-Rex! I like feeling happy and content and loved!
T-Rex: Okay, new theory: BAD emotions are for the weak!
Utahraptor: But feeling depressed might encourage you to go out and improve your... | |
416 | 'a volunteer-information serum? i don't see why not!' | Narrator: T-REX HAS INJECTED HIMSELF WITH TRUTH SERUM OF HIS OWN DESIGN:
T-Rex: Indeedy! Now everything I say will be the truth!
T-Rex: The path to enlightenment is truly through homemade drugs!
T-Rex: Go ahead, Dromiceiomimus! Ask me anything!
Dromiceiomimus: Okay, um... What's ten times two?
T-Rex: Twenty. Oh my gosh... | |
417 | man, people are always kissing in fan fiction | T-Rex: I wrote some fan fiction last night!
T-Rex: I know!
Dromiceiomimus: But T-Rex, most fan fiction has characters from TV and movies acting implausibly in implausible situations, and also kissing each other! Does - does yours?
T-Rex: Perhaps! There are many twists and turns and revelations in my exciting non-canon ... | |
418 | i do my best | T-Rex: Powerful images for the passage of time:
T-Rex: A clock's hands, sweeping past 12!
T-Rex: A sped-up landscape scene, with urban growth and decay happening in mere seconds!
Dromiceiomimus: The Earth spinning in orbit!
T-Rex: An old woman holding aged lace and gazing at a faded photograph of herself, as a young gi... | |
419 | what's the deal there, am i right? | T-Rex: Nice: I love you!
T-Rex: Creepy: I love you so hard!
T-Rex: Adding "hard" after phrases that don't normally have "hard" after them can give an interesting effect! I like it!
T-Rex: Hard!
Utahraptor: I've heard other people doing this before you, my friend!
T-Rex: So?
T-Rex: There's nothing wrong with appreciatin... | |
420 | i'm not sure about his inductive premise, but hey | T-Rex: What is the meaning of life? By this I mean, how should I best live my life?
Narrator: THE MEANING OF LIFE
T-Rex: More concretely: what can I do NOW that is meaningful and justified and purposeful and not - pointlessly absurd?
Dromiceiomimus: These are big questions, my friend!
T-Rex: I know, Dromiceiomimus, I k... | |
421 | you really have to read this in a clear, squeaky, little-kid quebecois voice | Narrator: CUTE COMICS IN FRENCH written for the now-abandoned project "COMICS FOR FRENCH KIDS"
T-Rex: Allo bonjour!
T-Rex: Moi, je suis un dinosaure!
T-Rex: Je suis un dinosaure EXTRAORDINAIRE! Je suis grand et vert.
T-Rex: J'aime des choses et d'autres choses!
Utahraptor: Moi, je suis un loup-garou!
T-Rex: Ah oui?
Uta... | |
422 | don't need no credit card to ride this train | T-Rex: I'm sick and ornery! I just want to be left alone today, so give me my distance!
T-Rex: With this in mind, I'm going for a walk!
Dromiceiomimus: Haven't we gone over this before? Declaring yourself to be angry doesn't excuse personal responsibility, T-Rex!
T-Rex: Forget it, Dromiceiomimus! I don't want to hear a... | |
423 | hey, my wallet's here! | T-Rex: Well, yesterday I seemed to annoy my friends with my choice of the oddly-obscene word “earhole”.
T-Rex: Excuse me!
T-Rex: Sheesh, I was just being myself!
Dromiceiomimus: Well, we all prefer when you’re yourself, but also not a rude jerk. You can be both!
T-Rex: But there’s a rude side to me too! It’s who I am!
... | |
424 | 'women in the mood to kiss' = cutest porn magazine title ever! | Narrator: T-REX IN: WORLD POLITICS
T-Rex: Okay!
T-Rex: So you've got lots of countries, right? Only, you can dismiss about 90% of these, since they don't really affect the agreed-upon "world scene".
T-Rex: So then you've got this small collection of countries that make all the news! World politics is how these countrie... | |
425 | ah, to be a child again | T-Rex: Ah, long-forgotten childhood friends!
Narrator: LONG-FORGOTTEN CHILDHOOD FRIENDS COMICS
T-Rex: I miss them! Sure, we were probably a little petty and - well, kids, but it feels like those friendships were somehow simpler... more pure!
T-Rex: I wonder what all my old friends are up to now... I haven't seen most o... | |
426 | it was a pretty good chapter | T-Rex: Does "Betty put butter on the bread" mean the same thing as "Betty buttered the bread"?
T-Rex: I would argue: no!
T-Rex: In the second example, there is an implication that the bread is wholly buttered, while in the first, this is not necessarily the case! And this applies not just to butter: there are many othe... | |
427 | 'hey guys, could anyone else go for some sweet human kissing right about now?' | T-Rex: Whoo! It's cool to be cool!
T-Rex: And I'M the coolest!
T-Rex: This guarantees me POPULARITY. Who would not like to hang out with someone who's the coolest?
T-Rex: The answer is no-one!
Utahraptor: Whoah! That's some unrestrained ego you've got going, my friend!
T-Rex: Yep!
T-Rex: I'm experimenting with it. They... | |
428 | yeah, they often sit around and discuss the nature of eroticism. also! this comic works around the fact that i realized i don't know what stereotypical male fantasy number two is. what is it, something about breasts?
something about breasts, maybe | T-Rex: Guess who kissed two ladies at the same time yesterday?
T-Rex: If you guessed "T-Rex", you are CORRECT!
T-Rex: Woohoo! That's Stereotypical Male Fantasy Number 1 checked off! Now I can move on to Stereotypical Male Fantasy Number 2 at my earliest convenience!
Dromiceiomimus: Congratulations my friend! I am suppo... | |
429 | in this timeline, i get to wear a suit! | Narrator: COMPRESSED FILM COMICS: "THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT"
T-Rex: Time to fix all my relationship issues with my girlfriend, Kayleigh, by going back in time...
T-Rex: ...using the power of my MIND!
Narrator: SHORTLY:
Off panel: Everything's fine, CEPT YOU GOT NO LEGS!
T-Rex: Shit!
Narrator: SOON:
Dromiceiomimus: Everythi... | |
430 | alternate ending: everything is dust in a silent frozen universe | Narrator: CAUTIONARY TALE COMIX
T-Rex: "This too shall pass!"
T-Rex: Hah hah hah!
T-Rex: Isn't that right, Dromiceiomimus? Wealth and power and knowledge and love and friendship are all fleeting and pointless! Whoo! One day we will all be dead!
Dromiceiomimus: You seem awfully cheerful about all this!
T-Rex: That too s... | |
431 | buttery ryoma | T-Rex: Today I am talking about the made-up disease "ryoma", and there are many kinds of ryoma one can contract!
T-Rex: Festering ryoma, for instance!
T-Rex: Eww!
T-Rex: Creeping ryoma.
T-Rex: Salacious ryoma!
T-Rex: MEPHITIC OCULAR RYOMA.
Utahraptor: Aw man, these all sound disgusting!
T-Rex: I know! It's amazing!
T-R... | |
432 | this comic is dedicated to all the times we'd sit around and talk about just wastin' food | T-Rex: The manliest thing in the world? Easy!
T-Rex: Wastin' food!
T-Rex: Oh man, imagine a guy who orders a big steak dinner with all the fixings, and then when it's delivered, he just flips it onto the floor!
T-Rex: That would be one tough dude! I would rate him, "Super Manly".
Utahraptor: Okay, you've lost me: how i... | |
433 | too bad we'll all be dead :( | T-Rex: I wonder: are we actually making progress?
T-Rex: (Where "we" refers to the general population, of course!)
Dromiceiomimus: How do you mean, T-Rex?
T-Rex: Well - what about philosophy, for instance? We've had thousands of years to think about what it means to be alive, yet we're still no closer to an answer! Whe... | |
434 | did you know a 'goad' is a pointy stick? neither did i, but it makes sense. | T-Rex: I hope I never get BURIED ALIVE!
T-Rex: Yep, that sure would suck!
T-Rex: Boy, would I ever hate to be buried alive.
T-Rex: I can't think of anything I'd dislike more!
T-Rex: I mean - damn! Buried alive!
Utahraptor: Why are you talking like that?
T-Rex: Like what?
Utahraptor: Like you're trying to lead someone o... | |
435 | also! what is for dinner tonight? | T-Rex: So, I'm not really comfortable with the fact that my mind is actually something physical.
T-Rex: It implies that everything I am, everything I think, can be altered!
T-Rex: It's scary! Some people who suffer brain damage can have their entire personality rewritten. Heck, add some chemicals and you can alter how ... | |
436 | i think this is the first time the sentence 'my friend, thigh fives are a ridiculous way of expressing enthusiasm' has ever been written down | T-Rex: What a good mood I am in today!
T-Rex: I declare: high fives all around!
T-Rex: Hey Dromiceiomimus! Give me a thigh five!
Dromiceiomimus: A what?
T-Rex: What? Whoah, I meant to say "A high five", of course!
T-Rex: Oh man. What an embarrassing slip of the tongue! I have to go now!
Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: What the... | |
437 | i admit: panel five actually based on a true story | T-Rex: I hope I don't run into the Dromiceiomimus today! She probably thinks I'm crazy since I asked for a "thigh five" the last time we met.
T-Rex: Oh shoot, there she is! Time to go INCOGNITO!
Dromiceiomimus: Hey T-Rex, what's up? Out for a walk, I see?
T-Rex: T-Rex? Who es T-Rex? I am a different, um, Tyrannosaurus ... | |
438 | a lesson was learned but the damage was irreversible | T-Rex: I've come to accept that I will be able to live down anything I do, given enough time!
T-Rex: So: no worries!
Dromiceiomimus: That's a healthy attitude, T-Rex! It'll let you explore things you otherwise might not, because you won't be worried about what others think!
T-Rex: Exactly! I am a well-adjusted dinosaur... | |
439 | 'burnsauce' may be new slang, but i feel confident it will catch on because i like it | T-Rex: I just discovered that I can get digital prints for only 29 cents!
Narrator: DINOSAUR COMICS PRESENTS:
Narrator: 29 CENT PRINT COMICS
T-Rex: Did you know that you can now get digital prints for only 29 cents? This will change the world!
Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, that service has been available for a while now.
T-Re... | |
440 | whenever t-rex sees a phone off the hook he's all that's SO CRAZY | T-Rex: The craziest thing happened to me yesterday!
T-Rex: It was the CRAZIEST!
T-Rex: It was so crazy, I don't feel comfortable talking about it.
Dromiceiomimus: And yet, you're talking about talking about it, so do you want me to ask what the crazy thing was?
T-Rex: No thank you! It was too CRAZY.
Utahraptor: You kno... | |
441 | aww. | T-Rex: Hmm...
T-Rex: Yep, it’s certain! I can find NO DOWNSIDES with being immortal.
Dromiceiomimus: What about a world-weariness that can only come from watching everyone you know and love age and die while you remain stuck in a perpetual youth?
T-Rex: That’s okay! Come on: living forever? I could do anything! I could... | |
442 | nostalgic high fives all around! also: i think i really missed an opportunity when i didn't name this series 't-rex and his dinosaur friends'. | Narrator: T-REX AND HIS DINOSAUR FRIENDS IN:
Narrator: "OLD PHOTOGRAPHS"
T-Rex: You know those early photographs? The silent, gloomy, sepia-toned ones?
T-Rex: They're SO sad!
T-Rex: What gets me every time is the faces of people I’ll never meet, people long dead, trying not to move as they stare into that early camera ... | |
443 | i'm not even fooling. i take them very seriously. | T-Rex: Man, I've always wanted to travel to the future!
T-Rex: Always!
T-Rex: It would be SO COOL to see how things work out. Wouldn't you agree, Dromiceiomimus?
Dromiceiomimus: I guess!
T-Rex: Also, I'd take back future technology with me and claim it as my own invention.
Utahraptor: You can't do that, T-Rex!
T-Rex: S... | |
444 | this one goes out to all my early-sleepin' homies | T-Rex: Tonight I am going to bed early.
T-Rex: Sweetness!
T-Rex: More sleep for me!
T-Rex: Hey Dromiceiomimus, what time are you going to bed tonight?
Dromiceiomimus: Well, I don't know... I guess around eleve-
T-Rex: Cause I'm going to bed early tonight!
T-Rex: Me! Early!
Narrator: LATER:
Utahraptor: Word has it you'r... | |
445 | i couldn't believe the name 'teen magazeen' wasn't already taken | T-Rex: Hmm...
T-Rex: [starts daydreaming]
Magazine cover: Time
Magazine cover: Person of the Year
Magazine cover: T-Rex takes it up a notch
T-Rex: [stops daydreaming]
T-Rex: *sigh*
T-Rex: Maybe I should just accept that I'll never be on the cover of a magazine!
Utahraptor: Why would you ever want to be on the cover of ... | |
447 | when i go home for christmas i anticipate many conversations along these lines with my father | T-Rex: Imagine if Santa Claus worked at a newspaper?
T-Rex: "Ho-ho-hold the front page!" he'd say!
T-Rex: Hee hee!
T-Rex: Or if he worked on a boat: "Ho-ho-hoist that mainsail, lads!"
T-Rex: Or if he worked as a chipmunk, he'd say "I'm going to ho-ho-hoard all these nuts!"
T-Rex: I bet he would!
Utahraptor: "If he work... | |
448 | from now on, any time there is a spelling or grammar mistake in this comic: subtle irony | T-Rex: Argh! People on the internet:
T-Rex: So dumb!
T-Rex: I can't take it any more, Dromiceiomimus! Everyone is off posting their dumb theories based off incorrect facts, and nobody even recognizes subtlety! So many people are so lame!
Dromiceiomimus: Is there such a thing as an incorrect fact? Doesn't being a fact i... | |
449 | they should probably get married, right away! | T-Rex: Hooray for Christmas!
T-Rex: Hooray!!
T-Rex: Hooray for getting Christmas cards!
Dromiceiomimus: Hooray!!
T-Rex: Hooray for getting Christmas cards with no return address signed with names you don't recognize!
Utahraptor: Wait - I take it this happened to you recently?
T-Rex: Sure did, Skip!
Utahraptor: Well, it... | |
450 | i once brought a regular salad to a party and claimed it was 'motown style' | T-Rex: Time to do it up...
T-Rex: Québec style!
T-Rex: Time to wrap up some presents for all my friends...
T-Rex: Québec style!
T-Rex: Time to STOMP ON THIS HOUSE - Québec style!
Utahraptor: Alright, I'll bite: what's "Québec style"?
T-Rex: It's new and exciting!
T-Rex: I invented it because it sounds, as I say, exciti... | |
451 | CHRISTMAS MORNING: Oh boy! Plastic bags with my name on them!! | Narrator: T-REX IN: "WRAPPING PRESENTS IN THE PLASTIC BAGS THEY CAME IN"
T-Rex: There's nothing wrong with that!
T-Rex: It saves the environment by using less paper!
Dromiceiomimus: But where's the magic? Where's the love and care that is shown in a well-wrapped present?
T-Rex: Replaced! Replaced with a healthy respect... | |
452 | EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: T-REX IS SAD | T-Rex: Seeing all my old friends and family over the holidays has been fun. Good times!
T-Rex: But, it has also been SAD.
T-Rex: We've all changed! It makes me nostaligic for how things were before, just a year or two ago. Not because things were better, but because they were different! I always feel like I missed some... | |
453 | here in dinosaur land we use the correct quotation, and not the folk version! | T-Rex: Bah! Nostalgia!
T-Rex: What use does it serve?
T-Rex: All it does is make us want things that we can't have, and can't even work towards having. Forget it! It's WASTED TIME.
T-Rex: From now on, I will not spend time remembering the past, nor will I be sad when circumstances change! From now on, I am all about TO... | |
454 | let's just say it was a crazy couple of weeks and leave it at that | T-Rex: Man, you'll never find me on a mountaineering expedition or on a voyage to find the Northwest Passage. No thanks!
T-Rex: Do people not realize what's bound to happen?
T-Rex: As I see it, you're pretty much asking to be put in a situation wherein the food runs out, people betray one another, frozen corpses of fri... | |
455 | where is my hugo award, please | Narrator: A FAILED EXPERIMENT HAS CAUSED TIME TO BECOME UNGLUED!
T-Rex: Oh no!
Narrator: EFFECT PRECEDES CAUSE!
T-Rex: It's a disaster!
Narrator: CAN NOTHING BE DONE TO RESTORE THE NATURAL ORDER?
Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, this is no time to begin stomping on houses!
T-Rex: What? I already stomped on it like five seconds a... | |
456 | auxiliary verbs are still allowed, i guess | T-Rex: Man, forget verbs!
T-Rex: You heard me!
T-Rex: From now on, I am all about other, less complex parts of speech. Verbs don't understand me!
Dromiceiomimus: Maybe you don't understand verbs?
T-Rex: Maybe ADJECTIVES wouldn't force us to have such conversations!
Utahraptor: Okay T-Rex, I'm not sure what's going on h... |
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