“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
“Their pooled emotions wouldn't fill a teaspoon.”
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.”
"I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money."
“I hate writing; I love having written.”
“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”
“One more drink and I'd have been under the host.”
“I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
A universal sentiment. 
 Compare Mark Twain’s  (or Caleb Thomas Winchester’s)  definition of a classic: 
 …something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Famous Dorothy Parker Quotes