Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
Dorothy Parker had tried to kill herself several times. 
 When she died (of natural causes) at the age of 73 in 1967, she bequeathed her estate to the Martin Luther King, Jr. Foundation. King was surprised. 
 
 Ms. Parker’s ashes are in Baltimore, Maryland.  Her epitaph contains her quip:  “Excuse My Dust.”
Resumé