Hey, you were standing by the screen door slamming
Rather clear what's taking place
You were holding onto Louie
He was packin', he was heavy
That plastic handle just about to break
Well then you picked up Chloe
She knew y'all were going
She started barking like a tank
I was shocked and I was joking
But I will not be lonely
Cause I got Jim and Jack and Hank
Take your string bikinis, your apple martinis
Take what's left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
You already know these guys: 
 Jim Beam –  Good, yet affordable sipping whiskey 
 Jack Daniels –  Good, yet affordable bourbon 
 Hank Williams Sr –  Maybe the best heartbreak songwriter that ever was. Here’s the proof: 
 
 “Moanin' the Blues” 
 “Cold, Cold Heart” 
 “Lovesick Blues” 
 “Howlin' at the Moon” 
 “Nobody’s Lonesome for Me” 
 
 But why whiskey  and  bourbon? 
 This part needs a little explanation. You need both, plus a glass of beer to make a Trifecta. A Trifecta is usually presented in two shot glasses and a pint glass for the beer.  After taking a sip of the beer, the drink is consumed by: 
 
 Dropping the whiskey shot glass like a depth charge into the beer, 
 Downing the shot of bourbon, and then 
 Chasing down the shot with all 16 ounces of fortified beer. 
 

Jim and Jack and Hank