| --- |
| title: "House Oversight: Estate Documents (Nov 12) (HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018633)" |
| source: "House Oversight: Estate Documents (Nov 12)" |
| sourceUrl: "https://www.justice.gov/epstein" |
| date: "2026-01-01" |
| category: "House Oversight" |
| eftaNumber: "HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018633" |
| ocrPages: 1 |
| ocrChars: 3351 |
| ocrElapsed: 0.0 |
| parseTier: "external-legacy" |
| engine: "engine undisclosed (ep-nov-12.greg.technology mirror)" |
| externalSource: "greg-ep-nov-12" |
| externalLicense: "not granted" |
| externalCredit: "ep-nov-12.greg.technology" |
| externalUrl: "https://ep-nov-12.greg.technology" |
| --- |
| |
| body is in good shape -- when I'm well-rested and I've eaten healthy food. That, too, is a |
| position of strength. |
| In some ways this can become murky. For example: I am rarely interested in one-night |
| stands. There are a number of reasons for this, but one reason is that -- especially as a |
| woman -- feeling like a "slut" can be scary, difficult cultural territory. And when I don't |
| feel good about myself, my interest in one-night stands is even lower -- because I know |
| that dealing with the difficult territory of "sluthood" will be harder with low self-esteem. |
| If I'm feeling happy, strong, competent, valuable, and loved by the world... then one- |
| night stands can easily be fun. If I doubt my worth, or if I doubt how much I deserve |
| love... then one-night stands can be self-destructive. |
| The same goes for relationships with people who don't care about me. If I'm sure that a |
| guy has no emotional interest in me, then having sex with that guy can be a dangerous |
| emotional proposition for me, and one that I need to feel strong for. This doesn't always |
| end up being true -- I've definitely had sexual encounters that left me emotionally |
| unaffected -- but sometimes it's hard to predict whether I'll want more emotional |
| investment from a given dude, so I try to keep it in mind for all encounters. (From a |
| polyamorous perspective, I've noticed that less-emotional sex is often easier to handle |
| when I'm already in a solid relationship with someone else.) |
| A couple I know in the local S&M community will sometimes have encounters that |
| absolutely blow my mind, because they seem so difficult and so psychological. Here is an |
| example: after the pair was married and child-free for many years, the wife realized that |
| she might want children after all. This was a problem for her husband, who married her |
| with the understanding that neither of them wanted kids. It became an ongoing |
| discussion. Then the husband -- who is also the sadistic, dominant partner -- asked her if |
| they could have an S&M encounter focused around the topic. She said it was okay. |
| So, as part of an S&M class that they taught together, the husband used her new feelings |
| about children to rip into her: during the S&M encounter, he told her that she was |
| probably too old to have children, that she'd waited too long. He added that she was too |
| flighty for kids; that she'd be a bad mother. He added that he had always made it clear |
| that he never wanted kids; that she was stupid for marrying someone who didn't want |
| kids, and that this problem was her own fault. |
| I was not present during this class, but I heard about it from some attendees, and it sounds |
| like it was really intense. He used a genuine and difficult sore spot to put his wife through |
| a psychological S&M wringer, with her consent. |
| These days, I feel very tempted towards encounters like that: encounters that can tear me |
| apart on a deep level, using important weaknesses and insecurities. I've also received |
| email from other people who want to arrange encounters like that, and who ask my |
| advice. An obvious problem is that such a relationship could easily slip into abusive |
| territory. |
| So I've thought about this a lot, and here's my conclusion: those kind of intense |
| psychological encounters obey the same maxim as other BDSM -- "Start from a position |
| of strength, and seek strength in the end." |
| HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018633 |
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|
