| --- |
| title: "House Oversight: Estate Documents (Nov 12) (HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018494)" |
| source: "House Oversight: Estate Documents (Nov 12)" |
| sourceUrl: "https://www.justice.gov/epstein" |
| date: "2026-01-01" |
| category: "House Oversight" |
| eftaNumber: "HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018494" |
| ocrPages: 1 |
| ocrChars: 3130 |
| ocrElapsed: 0.0 |
| parseTier: "external-legacy" |
| engine: "engine undisclosed (ep-nov-12.greg.technology mirror)" |
| externalSource: "greg-ep-nov-12" |
| externalLicense: "not granted" |
| externalCredit: "ep-nov-12.greg.technology" |
| externalUrl: "https://ep-nov-12.greg.technology" |
| --- |
| |
| Subspace is so hard to describe. I've written about it before, in passing, so many times, |
| because it's so important, but I've never come up with a good description for it; and when |
| I Google for it I can see that other people have the same problem. When I'm starting to go |
| into subspace it's just soft and dark and slow. But when I'm really far under, I'm totally |
| blank. Falling. Flying. |
| Somewhere else. |
| Come back. |
| What is it, where do I go? It's just submissive, masochist headspace. But I don't always |
| get into subspace when I submit, and I don't always get into it when I take pain either. I'm |
| not sure what the other ingredients are: some amount of trust, of course. And strong |
| feelings about my partner make everything more intense... way more intense. Orders of |
| magnitude more intense. Still, I've had new partners put me under with surprising |
| thoroughness. |
| It's a lot like deep sexual arousal -- hard to think, hard to process, hard to make decisions |
| -- but the deepest sexual arousal does not put me anywhere near deep subspace. Deep |
| subspace is. More. Than anything else. |
| Some S&M teachers tell people not to drive after an S&M encounter, not for a while; not |
| until you're over the subspace. They compare it to an altered state, like being drunk. |
| Some S&M teachers caution that it's dangerous for the dominant partner to suggest a new |
| activity in the middle of an S&M encounter -- something that wasn't negotiated |
| beforehand - because the submissive may not be able to think clearly enough to consent. |
| (And because in those moments, the submissive will have a harder time than ever saying |
| no.) |
| I sometimes think that when I was younger and less experienced, I abandoned myself to |
| subspace more easily. I'm better at pulling myself out of subspace now, but I think the |
| cost may be that it's harder for me to really get into it. (Safety first?) I trained myself to |
| be able to say, "Don't stop,' |
| " when I wanted my partner to keep going. (Sound easy? Trust |
| me, it took a while.) Playing with unfamiliar partners, I trained myself to be on guard |
| (One of my sex worker friends told me once, "I don't care how deep the subspace is, I can |
| always come out if the client tries to fuck me without a condom.") I got better at calling |
| my safeword before I had to -- asking my partner to do something else or give me a |
| break, rather than suddenly stopping everything once I hit my absolute limit. |
| I am nowhere near perfect, of course. In particular, I can rarely answer complicated |
| questions, and sometimes my partners literally can't get me to answer any questions |
| when I'm subspaced. Sometimes it takes me a long time to come out, and partners may |
| get nervous while I'm surfacing. But I'm not sure these aspects can actually be eliminated |
| from subspace. And I've gotten better. |
| I'm sure that in an emergency, I could talk and function straight out of heavy subspace. I |
| doubt I would be optimally intelligent and thoughtful, however. |
| When I was younger, I'd get frustrated with my partner if he tried to ask me questions or |
| clarify things or otherwise check in with me when I was in subspace. Damn it, can't you |
| HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018494 |
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